" In a box not a bottle" Asperger's revealed

[Seraphim]

He hates almost any toothbrush. It's part of his avoiding sensation of any kind. He can't have showers because he says water beating down on him causes pain and severe anxiety. So he prefers baths. Most sensations are extremely distressing to him. I remember when he was an infant if the wind blew on him he would scream in horror.

[faraday]

I also still can't get through to him that people do not wear the same clothes every day. He would wear the same pants and the same shirt until hell froze over. There is no concept there that he should change them.

 

 

Most 18-year-olds understand the concept of hygiene and change your clothes. I know he is not typical but that is a microcosm of my morning and my evening every single day.

 

There are a lot of great minds that wear "uniforms"...aka the same thing every day. Mark Zuckerberg wears the same tshirt and jeans everyday (he has several of each so they're clean, but he doesn't have to think about what to wear). Einstein had a closet full of the same suit.

 

Maybe your son doesn't want to think about what to wear?

 

The Sheldon clip made me laugh

[Seraphim]

There are a lot of great minds that wear "uniforms"...aka the same thing every day. Mark Zuckerberg wears the same tshirt and jeans everyday (he has several of each so they're clean, but he doesn't have to think about what to wear). Einstein had a closet full of the same suit.

 

Maybe your son doesn't want to think about what to wear?

 

The Sheldon clip made me laugh

He wore a uniform at grade school and high school. Which he really enjoy. He finds clothing totally and absolutely inconsequential to human existence. To him it has no social bearing, no bearing of any kind other then you need to wear it because being naked would be gross. Lol.

[faraday]

He wore a uniform at grade school and high school. Which he really enjoy. He finds clothing totally and absolutely inconsequential to human existence. To him it has no social bearing, no bearing of any kind other then you need to wear it because being naked would be gross. Lol.

 

So maybe make him a uniform now. Buy him 6 of his favourite shirts and 6 of his favourite pants, and tell him he can wear the same clothes every day they just need to be clean lol.

 

My daughter does this too....but she's little. It doesn't bother her when there's pizza sauce on her sleeves. More character.

[Seraphim]

So maybe make him a uniform now. Buy him 6 of his favourite shirts and 6 of his favourite pants, and tell him he can wear the same clothes every day they just need to be clean lol.

 

My daughter does this too....but she's little. It doesn't bother her when there's pizza sauce on her sleeves. More character.

 

He has six long sleeve fleece tops with stripes for winter. ( he has a thing for stripes, only horizontal stripes never vertical.) and he has five pairs of pants. Thing is he would never think of changing them unless I told him too. * thud*

[abitbroken]

If you want my opinion, I would pick my battles. You have to let go if you are going to treat him as an adult. As long as he changes his underwear daily - it doesn't matter if he wears the same pants for a week. Really, it doesn't unless he is doing manual labor or otherwise getting them badly soiled. And if he wears a t shirt and another shirt over it - as long as its not a shirt that wrinkles easily it is really no big deal for him to wear that overshirt multiple days, particularly if its a sweatshirt or flannel, etc. Also, sometimes taking a shower is a major sensory assault. I can't be touched by anyone for awhile after I take a shower. If he doesn't take a shower every day, but will clean under his arms/groin area under the tub faucet, that's good enough. As far as his hair, going a day without washing it won't kill him. Actually, if he had long hair, every other day is actually healthier for the hair oils. That is something you need to let go on - he will figure out he needs to wash his hair more often cause and effect if he starts noticing his skin is scaley or oily or if someone else comments on it (coworker, friends, etc.) But doing it because mom says isn't going to fly here and him digging his feet.

 

I honestly think that not you but his dad should lead the way on encouraging him to wash himself more. "hey, the days I can't take a shower...i do this...it might help you feel better.." _ sharing what works for him rather than mom laying down the rules. So if you can compromise and as long as he changes his underwear - its up to him to decide on his own - I think you will be farther along.

 

Also - if he has a favorite shirt that he is wearing multiple days and its not about changing his clothes but its about just liking that shirt - what about if he latches on to a particular item, try to find a duplicate or buy two of something at a time if that is the root of the problem.

[thejigsup]

Vic, this is a battle you will never win. I let my son and his hygiene issues go. He is now an adult and he does as he pleases, which is how it should be. He cannot be expected to live his life to your or any other person's standards because he won't. Period. The only thing I ask of my son is that he look and smell presentable when he goes out with me, which he does. I suggest daily showers and sometimes that works, most of the time it doesn't. I would love for him to have short hair, but he prefers long hair with a beard, so I lost on that one. He will wear the same clothes for days, but he is now taking an interest in clothes so I have bought him t shirts with his favorite sports team and roller coasters on them (he loves to ride coasters, the hairier, the better). I will leave you with this, when it comes to hygiene, let others lead him. He will never do it because you nag him...ever. Well, the teeth thing I would. My son is ritualistic about brushing and using a dental rinse, so I am lucky there. He has good teeth.

[Seraphim]

My biggest issue is I don't want him to lose his teeth. Bad oral hygeine can also cause heart disease . He is at risk of losing his teeth despite taking him to the dentist 4 times a year for professional cleaning. And he certainly won't wear false teeth so he could end up toothless . I am willing to fight the dental care issue till the end.

[thejigsup]

I totally agree with you here. Years ago, the dentist got on him about oral hygiene and now he is obsessed with it. I couldn't do it, but a stranger could. Go figure. Still, teeth, yeah, I would not let that one go.

[Seraphim]

I totally agree with you here. Years ago, the dentist got on him about oral hygiene and now he is obsessed with it. I couldn't do it, but a stranger could. Go figure. Still, teeth, yeah, I would not let that one go.

 

The dentist has showed him pics of dental disease, the dental hygienist has gone over it and over it and over it and over it and he could still care less.

[Cheetarah]

I can't even tell you how thrilled I was when M's dental exam was fine - Good, even. Clean teeth, healthy gums, no cavities. I am so scared of the idea of him having a bad cavity at this age and how he would have to be put under for a filling. He would grow to despise the dentist(not that he likes the dentist to begin with). That or liquid sedation. I am so nutty about his dental hygiene because we have calcium deficiencies and not so healthy teeth and gums over here that require frequent work(my dad had great teeth...Wish I had his genes in that department). I don't know if he will ever take to it without a ton of sensory input but I sure hope the OT can help me with that. Because I'm not hanging him upside down when he's 8.

[Seraphim]

I can't even tell you how thrilled I was when M's dental exam was fine - Good, even. Clean teeth, healthy gums, no cavities. I am so scared of the idea of him having a bad cavity at this age and how he would have to be put under for a filling. He would grow to despise the dentist(not that he likes the dentist to begin with). That or liquid sedation. I am so nutty about his dental hygiene because we have calcium deficiencies and not so healthy teeth and gums over here that require frequent work(my dad had great teeth...Wish I had his genes in that department). I don't know if he will ever take to it without a ton of sensory input but I sure hope the OT can help me with that. Because I'm not hanging him upside down when he's 8.

 

When R was young he had fabulous check ups. And his primary teeth were all perfect white pearls. But I was still brushing his teeth. He's been doing his own for some years now and he has gingivitis and fluorosis and decalcifying teeth. I just can't allow that . Actually it was pretty great he's only ever had two cavities in his life and he got his first cavity in 15. But there is a lot of gum problems in my dad's family and both my brother and I have receding gums already. And my brother needs surgery and graphs on his gums. My gums on my bicuspids on my upper jaw have receded beyond the point of grafting. So he really needs to care for his gums and teeth. My husband doesn't have any problems with his gums but has a lot of staining on his teeth because his parents let him drink pop and tea from the time he was four years old. And we do try to care for our teeth well . We brush and floss all the time and go four times a year to get our teeth cleaned.

 

R did REALLY well with his two fillings when he was 15.

[Seraphim]

]

 

This is him at 3. His little teeth were perfect.

[Cheetarah]

Would he use a Water Pik? I love mine, it helps keep pockets clean. Dial 1 is a very gentle setting, really like just a little stronger than a steady dribble coming out of the sink.

[Seraphim]

I could give it a try.

[luminousone]

The dentist has showed him pics of dental disease, the dental hygienist has gone over it and over it and over it and over it and he could still care less.

I had a dental hygienist that took a culture of the bacteria in my mouth and then showed us the colonies of bad bacteria and good bacteria in the mouth. That was an eye opener.

 

Also, I like the idea of the "uniform" with several of the same pattern.

 

My son would not wash his jeans but then came home from camp with jock itch. He washes his jeans now

[faraday]

Awww that's the cutest face ever! He's adorable Vic he's cheeks are so pinchable!

Why do they have to grow up, hey?

[Seraphim]

I had a dental hygienist that took a culture of the bacteria in my mouth and then showed us the colonies of bad bacteria and good bacteria in the mouth. That was an eye opener.

 

Also, I like the idea of the "uniform" with several of the same pattern.

 

My son would not wash his jeans but then came home from camp with jock itch. He washes his jeans now

 

Being 18 he just doesn't think anything bad will happen to him. And I kind of understand that because I remember being 18 and thinking that too. Like you say sometimes we have to learn the hard way.

[faraday]

He's a good looking young man, Vic. Very serious in that pic but he probably doesn't smile on command, hey? Was that a graduation pic?

[Seraphim]

He's a good looking young man, Vic. Very serious in that pic but he probably doesn't smile on command, hey? Was that a graduation pic?

 

That was prom. He HATED that I had him go.

 

But , yes, he is extremely stoic and serious most of the time. A lot of his sociability disappeared around three years old. He does laugh and joke with me though.

[Seraphim]

[video=youtube_share;Cz1HbH7Hjaw] ]

 

HahahAhaha me and my son about getting his college assignments handed in.

[Seraphim]

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[Seraphim]

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[Seraphim]

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WATCH ABOVE: Parents of adult children with developmental disabilities say the Ontario government is failing their children, and they fear for their future. They say massive wait lists mean they don’t know what will happen to their dependents when they are gone. Christina Stevens reports.

 

TORONTO — A group of parents fighting for their children’s future have started a movement called “Unshippable,” which is gaining momentum in Ontario.

 

Story continues below

 

 

The parents fear what will happen to their adult children, who have developmental disabilities, after they die.

 

A residential wait list of 12,000 people means in most cases, their children cannot get into group homes until it is a crisis or emergency situation. Often that is when their parents pass away.

 

But those group homes can be in far flung cities, disrupting their social support systems and lives.

 

“That’s the stuff of nightmares,” said parent Martha Fox.

 

“Does it cost us sleep? Absolutely. Does it make us feel sick to our stomach? Absolutely.”

Her 34-year-old son Matt lives at his parent’s home in Dundas, Ont., and requires 24-hour care.

 

Matt has been on a residential wait list for 16 years. In Dundas, Matt bowls, does Special Olympics, is a towel boy for McMaster University’s basketball team and works at the university’s fitness centre.

 

His mom can’t imagine what it would be like for him if he was shipped off to another city.

 

“It would be the end of the world that he knows,” said Fox.

A financial advisor who specializes in this issue said parents tell him they are scared.

 

“One of the things they would like to see is more appropriate support from the government,” said Ron Malis.

 

Currently the Ontario government funds only agencies to run group homes.

 

Parents in support of “Unshippable” want the government to allocate money directly to each individual, allowing their families to find a solution.

 

In total, 18 families at Dundas Learning Centre, which Matt attends, want to establish their own residence in empty space at a nearby convent.

 

But the government does not appear to be interested in direct funding.

 

“The ministry holds ministry-funded agencies to consistent standards, many of which are set out in legislation and regulation,” part of a statement provided to Global News from the press secretary of the Minister of Community and Social Services read.

 

“Agencies can balance a broad range of needs and priorities and optimize resources.”

 

The Ontario government also said it is tackling the wait list with an $810 million dollar investment from the 2014 budget.

 

Fox said obviously it is not enough, adding that Matt and his friends deserve better.

[Seraphim]

 

 

The story of the first person ever diagnosed with autism ,he is now 81.