Is he losing interest?

[emz]

Basically I've met this guy a couple of times (not a lot, I know) and we've been speaking for about 3ish weeks now. The first time we went on a little date where we just grabbed a drink together and the 2nd time I went and chilled at his and we had a movie night and he brought my my favourite ice cream for us to share and we had an amazing evening. We have undeniable chemistry and we were both in fits of laughter for the whole evening and were really cuddled up for the majority of it.

He went to a festival a week ago and we didn't have contact for 4 days, the last text he sent was just like he usually texts me - cheery and sweet. He's been back from the festival for 5 days now but unfortunately came back with really bad flu so his replies weren't brilliant as he was asleep most of the time. Today he said he's feeling better and we did text on and off but I've not heard from him for 9 hours now (this seems to be really out of character) and this is the 2nd or 3rd time that he's just left me hanging when it comes to texts and the conversations aren't as 'fruitful' if you will - although he replied quicker during the day today than he did yesterday and he did text me first in reply to last nights message.

Also I left some of my stuff at his so I did text him and say can I just meet him in town to collect it and he said 'of course we can' and put a little smiley and asked if we could meet when he's feeling better. He's a genuinely nice guy and the times that we've met he's gone out of his way to come pick me up, he put on the films that I love and brought my favourite ice cream for us to eat etc. At the end of the day I'm going to have to see him face to face in the very near future.

 

When I meet up with him to get my stuff would it be wise to mention like, I don't just want to be some girl that gets strung along etc and if he doesn't really feel that way about me anymore I'd rather he told me? Or should I just leave it and see where things go naturally? I've not texted him again tonight and I'm just going to leave it till tomorrow when I'll ask if we can see each other at the weekend to get my things.

I'm really confused as to why he's doing this as before he left for the festival we were really close, he said he hoped my parents will like him etc and the conversation was really nice but something just seems really off right now and I'm not sure if it's me being paranoid or not.

[Madamdiva007]

Personally, I think it might be a little too soon to have the exclusivity talk. You've only been talking for a few weeks and have only gone on a few dates. I'd give it a little more time, maybe see how he is when you meet up with him to get your stuff and how he acts afterwards towards you.

[freewill1234]

Way too soon to be thinking exclusive. Fact is, he could be talking to other girls and not really sure about you yet. Let things progress naturally. If he becomes less and less responsive, doesn't want too meet up as often, you'll have your answer.

[Zippy2000]

Didnt you post a similar thread? Can we stop posting duplicate threads please. Keeps enotalone tidier. Thank you

[emz]

Didnt you post a similar thread? Can we stop posting duplicate threads please. Keeps enotalone tidier. Thank you

 

No, this is the first and only time I've ever posted on this site?

[notalady]

Yea you can see the OP only made two posts from the post count, both in this thread.

 

Maybe you just read too many of the same stories it's all mixing into one, haha

[ParisPaulette]

Whoa, slow down. Do not approach him with a "I don't want to get strung along" anything or he will run for the hills. You two just started dating, that means you are still getting to know each other, you are not exclusive anything. Nor do you owe it to each other to be so at this stage of the game. I'd say hold off anything serious and let this develop for a month or two before you get to "the talk" stage of things. In the meantime get to know him and yes, see other people too. I keep seeing this idea that once you go on more than one idea that's it, it's a relationship and you can't or shouldn't date other people and that's simply not true. Dating is getting to know the other person, it's not a commitment in and by itself. Over time you can ask about that sure, but the fastest way to kill someone's interest is to come on too early, too needy and demanding.

 

At this stage you see if his interest grows or if it scales back and you act accordingly--i.e. you are either available or you pull back too and go date other guys and go out with your friends. At some point soon you can casually ask the next time you're together, "So what are you looking for in life?" And then listen and really hear what he has to say. If it's something like, "You know, finding a girl to commit to, going to college, blah-blah-blah" good. At that point you can talk about it too and take it from there. And if it's, "Well, no way I'm committing to a relationship until I'm 30. I'm traveling through Europe and don't want to mess that up." then you know you need to move along.

[catfeeder]

Or should I just leave it and see where things go naturally?

 

Yes, just do this, but 'naturally' wouldn't include counting the hours between his texts.

 

Either you believe he's had a flu, or you don't. If so, align your expectations with someone feeling too lousy to text. If not, then there's nothing to figure out. Either way, free your mind from hovering.

 

Head high.

[Tayla92]

He genuinely sounds interested in you by what your saying, if he's agreeing to meeting up again then that's a great sign.. Festivals can really take it out of a person, and since he got the flu as well he was probably feeling not much like himself the past week or so. Relax and see what happens, don't rush into things or asking too straight forward questions at this time.. Guys tend to run for the hills when they feel pressured into things. Goodluck

[missmarple]

I agree with the others. A couple of dates, a movie night and ice cream do not a relationship make and it's way too soon to talk about..being strung along. Let things progress naturally and you'll soon know if he lost interest or if it's just the flu talking. Keep us posted.