Not sure if my fantasy is common?

[yeawutever]

For the longest, my fantasies never involved romantic, non-sexual situations of holding hands with the guy, sailing nor seasons. None of that. My fantasy isn't about being submissive either nor having a guy going hard on me.

 

My fantasy involves either certain male celebrities sometimes and being intimate with them or actually getting caught in bed with another man, thus humilaiting a bf. Im a way, I would have control there.

 

I never really had the guts to tell this to my then bf, esp the other fantasy of degrading a man like that (yet he did once long ago told me about a FFM fantasy, which that doesn't turn me on either); I get the feeling there are still many men that don't know how to handle a gf that's sexual and fantasies about other men and doesn't think about him even when she's being intimate with him. I don't get turned on by just being with a bf and thinking only about us if we were doing it.

[agent1607307371]

I don't know that it's common, common, but I don't think adultery fantasies are rare either. Cockhold fantasies aren't, so why would the reverse?

 

 

And I think having a mind of sexual fantasies that go beyond just you and your boyfriend is the default. I'm just not sure that telling your partner would be the best idea - though you know him and how he would take it.

[yeawutever]

I know he wouldn't have taken it good if I had told him all this I just wrote. My gut feeling told me that he had the seuxal fantasy double standard.

[ThatwasThen]

Well since you never discussed it with him I guess we'll never really know.

[Cynder]

Fantasies are fantasies. You are not obligated to tell your boyfriend about them unless you want him to help fulfill them.

 

I don't tell my boyfriend everything I fantasize about. And we are kinky as hell.

[yeawutever]

Fantasies are fantasies. You are not obligated to tell your boyfriend about them unless you want him to help fulfill them.

 

I don't tell my boyfriend everything I fantasize about. And we are kinky as hell.

I don't plan on ever carrying it on. I'll leave it as fantasy. However, that one time my then bf (well now ex bf) not only just told me about his but wanted to see if I would try it and really thought I would be turned on if I also did stuff with another woman, which I'm not. I only find the male body attractive.

I just knew it in my inside that if I had expressed fully about my fantasy, he wouldn't have like me to continue talking about it.

 

Now that I recalled there was another time, he kept talking about how two girls having sex is so awesome and once again, I'm not turned on by it. I feel many men expect us to either have non-sexual fantasies, be innocent women that can't think of those things or have their FFM fantasy and not our own. IMO that's a silly double standard.

 

Sometimes I do wonder if there are possibly more women out there that have this fantasy too but just never tell their man because they don't want him to then feel insecured or think he's not good enough. From what I hear, it's usually more men that can't handle the truth of a woman being sexual and thinking of other men while we don't have a problem if their fantasy as long as the guy doesn't act on it.

[Batya33]

I think you're speculating and then using those speculations to make these negative assumptions about "men". I'm not a fan of sharing a fantasy (or a dream you had) that might hurt the other person's feelings. There's no need to share every aspect of your life with your partner -that's not honesty, it's just oversharing or tactlessness IMO.

[yeawutever]

I think you're speculating and then using those speculations to make these negative assumptions about "men". I'm not a fan of sharing a fantasy (or a dream you had) that might hurt the other person's feelings. There's no need to share every aspect of your life with your partner -that's not honesty, it's just oversharing or tactlessness IMO.

I guess he did displayed a bit of the madonna/ complex trait (for example he would up till how many sexual partners did he still considered a girl a goody-two shoes or sometimes called me Mrs goody-two shoes) that I didn't trust him to share my fantasy. The problems becomes when they freely shared their fantasy, sound as if they're practically bragging about it and it's all about their own fun, their own porn scenerio but we can't talk about ours without them getting weirded out.

 

I know there are some open-minded men out there that don't have that double standard and you can be honest with but for the most part, this seems to be an insecurity issue more with the male than the female. In a way, good thing he's my ex bf. I feel a relationship should be even. If he gets to freely share his fantasy and I don't mind (as long as it's only a fantasy) then he shouldn't have a surprise look on his face when I tell him mines.

[agent1607307371]

True story, I once had a bf who was really into the idea of me and him having a 3some with a girl he knew (and I'm not straight, but she was ugly), but one time I told him that Data was my favourite Star Trek character and that's all I heard about for the rest of the (short) relationship. He wanted an open relationship, but freaked out when I hugged a friend who was leaving the country. It was just... lets say I have 1000x less patience for people now.

 

Some people are just hard work.

[Batya33]

Who is "they?" You referred to one man as your example -one man is not "they" (and neither is 10).

I don't think it's about honesty -it's about choosing what information to share or not. Honesty only comes into play if the person asks you what your fantasy is and even then it's perfectly reasonable to respond "I'd prefer not to share".

As far as the other person sharing a fantasy I don't see the "equality" argument - if you want things that way then perhaps if a man starts sharing a fantasy tell him that you only want to hear it if he would be comfortable hearing yours too. You're entitled to your personal preferences. I don't see it as an accross the board equality issue especially since one person's fantasy might involve his S.O. and the other person's might involve another man or something similarly, potentially, hurtful.

[catfeeder]

I never really had the guts to tell this to my then bf, esp the other fantasy of degrading a man like that

 

Well, that's fortunate. Some stuff is better left unsaid.

[ThatwasThen]

I think you've only been with insecure men.

[BrianH46]

From what I hear, it's usually more men that can't handle the truth of a woman being sexual and thinking of other men while we don't have a problem if their fantasy as long as the guy doesn't act on it.

 

Hmmmm, in my experience it is somewhat tasteless to tell your girlfriend about every single woman that you want to bang and usually leads to unnecessary insecurities. I could sit there and tell her about all of my fantasies involving famous women who are more often than not photoshopped, don't even get me started on some of my favorite pornstars with an ass to die for. But how would discussing my fantasies about other women advance my sex life or strengthen my relationship? I do not talk about my past sexual experiences and I do not talk about unattainable fantasies with my woman out of respect (and I because I like having sex). However fantasies involving she and I, no matter how kinky, I love talking about them with her in detail.

 

In my opinion it all boils down to this: How secure can a person feel knowing that their significant other is yearning for something/someone else to the point that sexual attraction between the two is non-existent?

[Natasha24]

If you're wondering if your fantasy is common, go on any popular porn site and click "Categories". If you see your fantasy listed there, it's safe to say it's pretty common.

 

And yes, your fantasy is quite common.

 

Part of it is about "degrading" him sexually, which is kind of the thrill of the fantasy. Lots of guys like being dominated/degraded/humiliated during sex. If you don't feel comfortable telling your boyfriend, that's okay, you can keep this fantasy to yourself. But don't let anyone make you feel bad about it. It's normal and common and fantasies don't hurt anybody.