Am I the "Leave Me" Chic?

[Ladytmt]

so I began dating a guy who I liked we went out a few times and had a good time and we were intimate but now he's leaving for 6 months to play Canadian football...he mentioned he was trying out for this a few weeks ago and told me today he was leaving for this but for some reason I felt some type of way about this as if "oh no someone else is leaving me AGAIN". He asked if he was going to see me before he left...I responded that he didn't have to if he didn't want to and that I did not want to hold him up from anything. Not sure why I said this but I think I said it to keep him from hurting me since I feel like people leave after they get sex. I don't know what his intent is or was but 6 months is a long time and contact will probably be lost. I just feel like im in a funk now and for some reason I feel guilt. This is is the first guy I've had a real interest in since my ex 3 years ago and my ex cheated and left me now I feel like this guy is leaving me. I guess I must have a sign that says leave me on my forehead....am I overacting??

[itsallgrand]

I don't think you are the leave me chic. No.

 

It doesn't sound like he misled you in any way. Am I wrong? You knew when seeing him that he may be leaving. And chose to continue to see him and sleep with him anyways. Not that that was wrong. But maybe it wasnt the best choice for you, given your last relationship and feelings/hurt you have from that. Cause it sounds like this has triggered off feelings of abandonment and insecurity in you.

[Ladytmt]

I don't think you are the leave me chic. No.

 

It doesn't sound like he misled you in any way. Am I wrong? You knew when seeing him that he may be leaving. And chose to continue to see him and sleep with him anyways. Not that that was wrong. But maybe it wasnt the best choice for you, given your last relationship and feelings/hurt you have from that. Cause it sounds like this has triggered off feelings of abandonment and insecurity in you.[/QU exOTE]

 

I just regret all of it and I'm good for beating myself up over things even for being cheated on by my ex Maybe I am to blame but maybe he was as well....why date someone if you know you are leaving...

[Batya33]

His leaving has nothing to do with you. You chose to have casual sex with a guy who was moving away soon. What you're experiencing now is the downside of your choice. Enjoy the memories.

[Ladytmt]

His leaving has nothing to do with you. You chose to have casual sex with a guy who was moving away soon. What you're experiencing now is the downside of your choice. Enjoy the memories.

b

 

I guess but he kept talking about future things like planning my birthday next month

[Batya33]

b

 

I guess but he kept talking about future things like planning my birthday next month

 

But you knew he was leaving and of course words are words - if he had wanted to plan your birthday in advance he could have made a specific plan with you. He probably meant it at the time -that it would be fun to celebrate your birthday with you and then realized that it wasn't a practical thing to plan. Talking about future things doesn't mean he is interested in a serious relationship with you. If he were he would have told you he was and asked you to be exclusive.

[Ms Darcy]

You're thinking is illogical. You choose to have sex with a guy you know is leaving and then you start feeling bad for yourself.

[Ladytmt]

You're thinking is illogical. You choose to have sex with a guy you know is leaving and then you start feeling bad for yourself.

 

yeah you are right I know I'm worthless and stupid. thanks

[annie24]

I think he went for it because it's a great opportunity to play professional sports and he has to go for it now, if this is something he wants to do. It sounds like a case of bad timing.