hers Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Haven't read through everything just yet, but my thoughts: I'm very against someone's kids being in the pictures. I think it can attract the wrong sort of person. You're trying to find a match for yourself and you want that person to be good for you and your child, but you don't want the "wrong" person messaging you, if you get what I mean. I just think that children don't belong on sites like that. It's great that you're devoted for her, but I think she doesn't need to be shown. Just my 2 cents. Link to comment
hers Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Another thing--bear in mind this is going to sound creepy on my part, but I've totally googled screennames of people's profiles before to see what they're like online. One guy I was having great email conversations with used the same screen name on OKC that he used on Adult Friend Finder, which was the type of person I was NOT wanting to attract. Since you're dating profile name is th same profile name as it is on ENA, I'd recommend changing that in case you get people who may google you and you have things on here you don't want seen. And also--you totally gave away the ending to the last book you read, which may bum people out if they haven't read it! (Some people are weird about that!) Link to comment
faraday Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 eHarmony uses real names not screen names Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
hers Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 eHarmony uses real names not screen names Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Ok then disregard that part I never used EH so I didn't know that! Link to comment
faraday Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 Back in the day though, when eH had advice boards, some guy clicked on it at the bottom of an email and it took him right to one of my threads! I was talking about an impending meet with him and three other guys I had lined up. Freaking awkward!! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 ^ All very good points. You have to be extremely careful of what you post online, as there are many ways of finding your personal information, etc. Link to comment
amipushy Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 I always thought that the child should be protected from strangers and not be introduced to someone until you trusted someone, you were very sure that this person was the one for you, that you were in a relationship that had potential for the long term etc. I dont get why you would introduce anyone to your child before you have even met them when you can make it perfectly clear in so many other ways that she is VERY important to you and in fact your life without doing that. Pictures can be saved and manipulated and I am uncomfortable with that thought for you. Link to comment
faraday Posted March 9, 2014 Author Share Posted March 9, 2014 Pictures are much different than introducing her to someone. Completely different things She's met two bfs in the 5 years since her dad and I split up. They are good men. I trust them or they wouldn't have met her. I don't view images the same way. The world has changed...and there are billions of photographs of children out there with hashtags all over them making them easy to find. I ran a Dayhome for 5 years because I wanted to stay home with my daughter, and my website has many pictures of us. So does my Facebook. My little girl is a huge part of my life. I'm with her 6 days a week, 24 hours a day. I do protect her. I love her more than anything or anyone. I choose not to live my life in fear. Cars crash. Sugar will kill you. You can slip in the shower. The world is a dangerous place. I teach my daughter about crossing the street, dressing for the weather, eating foods that are nutrient dense, what kind of interactions are appropriate with adults and other children and what to do if something isn't appropriate...I teach her to love life and to approach it with both reckless abandon and her eyes wide open...and I'm never too far behind her, keeping an eye on her. She's my baby. If someone is going to take the pictures I posted on this site or eH and "manipulate" them...they can go nuts...it doesn't have any impact on me. And out of the billions of photos out there on the net, why would they pick mine? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
amipushy Posted March 9, 2014 Share Posted March 9, 2014 Well even thoough I dont agree with people putting their children on dating site and never will I do wish you good luck in finding someone special. Link to comment
mfan Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I think there is lots of promise here and I wish you success! Some notes about the photos: I recommend deleting the photo of your daughter in her bikini. Also please post more photos where we can see your eyes. I don't like profiles where the woman is wearing dark glasses in every photo, I find it a bit unsocial. The photos that are stylized to look "aged" may make people worry that they were taken years ago even though they are actually recent. Link to comment
Liraele Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I don't know that I'd put so many pics of my kiddo.... for her safety, more than anything else. It may not have an impact on you, personally right now... though it could. But what about her, when she begins navigating the wider world on her own? It certainly could. It's one thing "not to live in fear" - it's another to be too accessible. Shorten it up, a lot. Link to comment
DancingFool Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 A bit late to the party, but I'll be blunt. Your profile reads to me like starving artist baby momma looking for instant daddy to support the both of you. It doesn't say at all that you have your life and your act together. As such, your profile will speak to certain men, but probably not the kind you are actually seeking. Might explain the numerous clingers/knight in shinning armor wannabes you are encountering too. Agree on you need to shorten it and maybe put in more pertinent info like - I have my daughter full time - front and center where it can't be missed. Other than that, one pic of your daughter with you is more than enough. More than that doesn't really say anything other than you just have a bunch of pics of your kid. How is a guy to figure out from those pics that you have your child full time as opposed to that you are a typical parent crazy about their kid? Friends, parents - those really don't belong on your dating profile either. Don't count on people reading captions - just get rid of those pics. I know I rarely paused to read the captions. I'm probably not alone in that. Don't like what I'm seeing, click next. Too many easy options where I like what I'm seeing to bother with captions and explanations. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I feel like I am a work in progress right now....the thing is, if you asked anyone that knows me, they would tell you I have it totally together....So maybe I do need to rewrite that first blurb...to say I am starting a business, but it was a calculated, thought out plan. I'll take out the Gen Y thing...I just thought it was interesting article...but you're right, it doesn't fit in there. And I will take out the cute, single men thing...any suggestions for what I can put there? I like the gen Y part, I feel like many gen X people have the same problem and don't get it, so this shows you do. Honestly if you're full time in school with a kid, I'd pass just because that seems to spell debt or financial trouble. Link to comment
faraday Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 Why don't you just stab me in the heart DF? Yeah, starving artist baby momma is not who I am or what I'm trying to convey...thanks for the food for thought. Was it mostly in my most passionate section or in all of them? How can I convey that I own my own house, own my own vehicle...am not in debt...without saying it? I am in school...but I am living sustainably. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
mfan Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 How can I convey that I own my own house, own my own vehicle...am not in debt...without saying it? I am in school...but I am living sustainably. Put it as one of the "things you are most thankful for"? Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 How can I convey that I own my own house, own my own vehicle...am not in debt...without saying it? I am in school...but I am living sustainably. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Why not say it? Sounds like a miracle to me so I'd definitely want to know exactly how you're pulling this off or else I wouldn't believe it coming from a stranger. Link to comment
Catherine_3 Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I'm absolutely in agreement with those who are opposed to putting pictures of your children in your dating profile. I wouldn't even put one. Also, one quirky funny-face picture is enough. If you have too many of them, it almost seems like you're trying to distract the viewer with your goofiness. With respect to the financial independence, why not just state that you're financially independent? I think my favorite picture is the one where you're wearing a green jacket. Except does an easy sign with an arrow send the right message for internet dating? Hmmm... I get the joke but I'm not sure frisky men would. It might excite them a bit too much. Also, your post comes accross a bit preachy. I like the overall message and I feel like we could be friends when I read this. But I think you can tweak a few words to make it less lectur-y. These statements in particular: "So often we become stagnant because change is...scary" "It's a very Gen Y thing to have unrealistic expectations." Finally, it seems like a bit of an overkill on your daughter. I'm a mother of two beautiful daughters who I'm completely, absolutely obsessed with. So I get you. But it's also important to demonstrate that you have a healthy, balanced identity and that you can be different things to different people. You can be a mommy to your daughter while also being a sexy, dedicated girlfriend to the right man. Keep things in their place. And definitely remove your daughter's pictures from your dating site. Link to comment
JA0371 Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 Faraday...I think you're adorable. I've never done the online dating thing...but I would refrain from using pics of your kids in them, or of other people as well. Most people understand that you love your kids and your family, etc...but it's a dating site. No need to put all that out there. Also....I didn't see any negative stuff on your profile, but I would also refrain from saying things you DON'T want in a partner or guy...ie, 'don't want a,player or a cheater'. That just puts negative connotations where there shouldn't be. Just focus on being positive...and happy. Everyone is attracted to happy and positive Link to comment
faraday Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 Thanks so much everyone for your input. I made some modifications and shortened it...hopefully this helps portray me as me. I will only include the dinosaur picture of my daughter and I...even though I don't agree with you all on that Entrepreneur Height 5'6" Age 30 I am Neither religious nor spiritual I attended College The one thing I am most passionate about Rolling paint accross a clean canvas. The smell of oil paint and the way a paint brush feels in my hand. I love creating. The most important thing I am looking for in a person is My parents have been married for 33 years...and a few years ago, they had a fight that lasted for 6 months. It was rough. I asked my dad if they were going to get divorced. He looked shocked and told me he had never considered it. He said that marriage has ups and downs...and that when he married my mom, he knew he loved her enough to get them through the bad times. He said marriage isn't about today, or the next year. I'm looking for the love of my life and I hope he believes in marriage like that....because I do. The most influential person in my life has been Without a doubt, my daughter. She changed my career path and cultivated new interests for me...she inspires me to become the best person I can be. I believe children are products of their environments, so I strive daily to live the mantra, "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." The first thing people notice about me I must come accross as being very non-judgmental, because I hear so many stories from random people in check out lines. 3 of my best life skills are Being a gracious host Achieving personal goals Creative problem-solving The last book I read and enjoyed Currently I'm reading a riveting book on business marketing...can't put it down Things I can't live without Mountains. Standing on top of one is so humbling. Hot bubble baths (and wine! Intelligent people to have debates with Cold nights and my totally comfy bed Apps for my iPhone. CBC I typically spend my leisure time I spend most of my free time with friends and family. I'm lucky to be surrounded by such inspiring, kind people. I'm part of a few different monthly cooking clubs (one of which is a dinner club themed around the show "Chopped"...it can get a bit intense! But I've made some good eats), and I love the mountains (hiking, snow shoeing and mountain cuisine/micro brews totally rock). In the summer I have a pretty awesome veggie garden, and whenever I have time alone, I tend to start projects around my house. I've done a penny backsplash in my kitchen...and gutted most of my home. The three things which I am most thankful for All the Cliches...my daughter, my family, my friends, etc Owning properties with equity The unique and prosperous opportunies that are available only in this city. The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me I'm very direct and open and for the most part, people "get" me A little more about me I am a bit of a list maker...I plan out my time so that I can make the most of it. Punctuality and decisiveness will win you points Link to comment
faraday Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 image removedimage removedimage removedimage removed Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
faraday Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 image removedimage removedimage removed Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
DancingFool Posted March 10, 2014 Share Posted March 10, 2014 I must come accross as being very non-judgmental, because I hear so many stories from random people in check out lines. non-judgmental - approachable, friendly, good listener, open and easy going - all maybe more positive words that won't send shivers down anyone's spine? Also, maybe skip the cliches and just put in something else that is yet another little nugget of info about you in particular? I like the profile pics and the one in the snow and yellow dress. The rest could be better. Methinks you need fresh pics. You've got curves, so flaunt them (tastefully of course). Well, perhaps the gents will chime in more on that, since it's the male opinions that actually matter. PS: Please return my dagger I stabbed you through the heart with, I need it for other posts.....muwahahahahaaa Link to comment
faraday Posted March 10, 2014 Author Share Posted March 10, 2014 Haha it gives me shivers down my spine every time it happens to me! Part of life...and yes, friends and bfs have commented in how weird it is that randoms approach me. It's usually old women. And I will gladly give you back that dagger... I will work on profile pics...it's going to take some time...it's finally warming up and not -46 this week so we can finally go outside with out 15 layers of clothing...yay! Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Link to comment
DancingFool Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 lol....well you are not alone. People start chit chatting away with me at random as well. I think it's kind of fun. Although my bf gets shocked sometimes still. Like recently we went out, he had to step away to take a call, he comes back and I'm having an in depth convo about local politics with a couple of people. His expression always slays me. Hard not to laugh because he always has that ".......just happened while I was away...." look on him. He's mentioned several times to me how people seem to react differently to me than they do to others. Meh....it's a good thing as far as I'm concerned. I'd rather have that than people shun you....ya know? Anyway, thanks for the dagger....*runs off to sharpen it* Link to comment
hers Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Here in the south, it's sooo normal to start a long conversation with a perfect stranger. It's almost expected! Link to comment
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