Circe Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Ahhh... it's been so long since I've been here that I can't believe I remembered my password! Well - for ages - I wasn't sure if I wanted to have kids. And then I kept putting it off because I had goals to accomplish. And now - I've finally decided I do want to have them... it's like a switch turned on and I can't bare to wait a second longer. It's so irritating. But I have to wait because I've only just started taking pre-natal vitamins and because I haven't had my period since 6 December. I was travelling overseas for the last month (only just got back) and I was pretty stressed out (worried for my safety) and as a result - my period is really late. So I have to wait for my cycle to get back to normal too. AND... if I do get pregnant - it will be "high risk" because of a medical condition I had last year (not of miscarriage I don't think - but of blood clots). So... I've made an appointment to get a pap smear and check my blood for immunizations. That'll be done this week. I've been trying to get in to see a good OBGYN for a pre-natal. I'm booked in with one for the end of February and the other (the one I really want) for the end of March. Urgh - I just want to get going already!! And the worst thing? I know I'm not pregnant because we didn't have unprotected sex (we used the withdrawal method, followed by a condom for the end - that's our usual method); I don't have ANY pregnancy symptoms; and the home pregnancy test I took while I was overseas was a negative. But ... the worst part is - I find myself hoping and hoping and hoping that .. maybe I'm pregnant? Urgh. I'm 23 days late. But I know it's just delayed because of travel stress. I can't believe I've become like this in such a short period of time. And - there's no one to talk to. No one. Two girls in my life I could have talked to have some serious pregnancy issues (diabetes and PCOS) so .. I'm sure they don't want to hear about pregnancy talk ... the other close friends are single or just divorced and wishing they could have more but don't have a partner. So all I want to do is talk about how anxious I am to get started ... I'm excited but anxious. But there's no one to talk to.. So I thought journaling might help Link to comment
redrose85 Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 That’s wonderful circe! We will all be here for you My husband and I aren’t trying yet, but that’s only because he is just starting a new job and we want to give it some time to settle down. Other than that, we are so ready to be parents! Link to comment
Circe Posted January 29, 2014 Author Share Posted January 29, 2014 That’s wonderful circe! We will all be here for you My husband and I aren’t trying yet, but that’s only because he is just starting a new job and we want to give it some time to settle down. Other than that, we are so ready to be parents! Hey redrose85!! Yeah - we waited till we were more financially stable too - and I'm glad we did. I just hope I haven't left it too late. I think my problem is that I like to prepare for the worst - so while I was doing my research I stumbled accross forums where women who have a lot of trouble conceiving post - and even though that's probably a small percentage - they make up most of the posting - so I got a bit overwhelmed and worried looking at all that. I think the thing to do is to relax - wait out this month and then just give it a go! Link to comment
redrose85 Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 You’re only 31, you’re fine! That said, we’ve always had the attitude of, even if things aren’t “perfect” 30 is the magic number. Did it just hit your husband one day too? What’s his attitude towards having children possibly in the very near future? Just curious. I’ve found it amusing how clucky Alex got pretty much right after the wedding. I was going to sleep last night and thinking to myself that if everything goes well, this could be our last full year of just the two of us. What a strange concept! Are you guys doing anything “bucket-list” esque or have you done it all already? Link to comment
Catherine_3 Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Oh my goodness, talk to us! Making babies is so much fun. And I loved preparing my body. Taking multivitamins, eating really clean, no alcohol. Well, no alcohol was both torturous and refreshing. Link to comment
Catherine_3 Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 You know what you should do to redirect all that energy into inspiration? Start a blog on tumblr. I don't know whether you're on there but if you're an inspiration junkie like me it can be wonderful. Search for blogs that are related to pregnancy, babies and anything else that inspires you (maternity fashion, nursery decor, family photography, prenatal yoga, etc.) and re-post any pictures that touch you. After a while, you can look back through your own blog and get a really good sense of what this chapter in your life means to you. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Aw, yay!!! I always knew you would make an amazing mom if you ever decided to go that route! How high is the chance of you being pregnant now? 23 days is a long time for a later period, isn't it? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 Good luck! I started trying a few months before my 41st birthday (I know, really late). I quickly learned that looking at the TTC (trying to conceive) message boards was a huge mistake. I'd stay far far away from those. I did not do pre-natal vitamins, just regular one a day for women. I started prenatals in my 6th week of pregnancy and they were very, very hard on my body. Link to comment
Catherine_3 Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 The prenatals aren't essential as long as you're eating well. In fact, we're seeing more and more evidence that multi-vitamins can be harmful. However, it is absolutely essential to start taking folic acid prior to conception to avoid spinal cord defects. Link to comment
OptomisticGirl Posted January 29, 2014 Share Posted January 29, 2014 The prenatals aren't essential as long as you're eating well. In fact, we're seeing more and more evidence that multi-vitamins can be harmful. However, it is absolutely essential to start taking folic acid prior to conception to avoid spinal cord defects. Agreed. Prenatals have folic acid in them but a lot of doctors now are suggusting taking folic acid on top of the prenatal vitamin (at least, mine suggusted it when we were talking about getting my body ready for pregnancy one day). Here you can buy the folic acid in like Walmart in the vitamin section and I take one every day, just in case we have an accident and we end up pregnant. Link to comment
Circe Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 You’re only 31, you’re fine! That said, we’ve always had the attitude of, even if things aren’t “perfect” 30 is the magic number. Did it just hit your husband one day too? What’s his attitude towards having children possibly in the very near future? Just curious. I’ve found it amusing how clucky Alex got pretty much right after the wedding. I was going to sleep last night and thinking to myself that if everything goes well, this could be our last full year of just the two of us. What a strange concept! Are you guys doing anything “bucket-list” esque or have you done it all already? Ahhh.. yes I think 32 is the magic number for me. At 31 I felt fine - but now I realize.. I'll be 33 at the Earliest - if all goes well - when giving birth - and that seems old. 31 didn't - 33 does. Urgh. My husband has always been sure he wanted kids (unlike me - I wasn't sure) - but wanted to wait for the right time (i.e., when he felt financially secure). Now is a really good time (we've moved somewhere bigger and not much of a mortgage) - so lucky for him, I happened to come around at the right time!! Back when I wasn't sure - he tried to think about a life without them but it was hard for him. And then last year I had a blood clot - and because of that I have a much higher risk of it happening again when pregnant (so I have to inject myself with a blood thinner every single day of the pregnancy) .... and before we got a lot of info on that - he worried that if it was quite serious then he'd have to try re-think how he had always imagined his future with kids.. and he told me he had started that process already to prepare. But luckily - we found out that it will probably be quite manageable - with proper care. So - yeah - he's always known he wanted them - but he's a cautious man so he wants to make big decisions at optimal times Not rush into things before he feels financially ready. It's really lucky that I did have a change of heart - it's not something I'd want to do half heartedly.. As for things we should do together - I Kind of wish we'd travelled more together. We've travelled quite a bit together - but now that I realize our last trip was probably our last.. I wish we'd done a bit more. I think what I'll really miss is the life style of just going out every weekend and hanging out together over a movie or glass of wine - just whenever the mood struck - which was often! I'll miss that because it's been a huge part of our lives and a huge part of how we spend time together. Link to comment
Circe Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 Oh my goodness, talk to us! Making babies is so much fun. And I loved preparing my body. Taking multivitamins, eating really clean, no alcohol. Well, no alcohol was both torturous and refreshing. Hahah - you know I thought giving up alcohol would be REALLY HARD. But you know.. even though I've still got one last month before we start trying and therefore, before I have to give it up - I've suddenly found that I don't crave alcohol anymore. It's really weird. I used to crave it when I was really tired or stressed - and now I just don't. And - I don't seem to enjoy the taste as much. I guess that's the mind beginning to prepare for you!! I really wish I hadn't stopped the multi vitamins while we were overseas this last month. If so we could have started already! But I think they say at an absolute minimum you should be taking them for a month.. so I'll wait. And that will also give my husband time to lose a few kilos. It will be exciting though!!! I've stopped pouring over infertility forums - and as a result - I feel SOOOOOO much better! lol - I now feel excited rather than stressed and worried. What on earth was I doing - worrying about problems before they even arose!!! Link to comment
Circe Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 You know what you should do to redirect all that energy into inspiration? Start a blog on tumblr. I don't know whether you're on there but if you're an inspiration junkie like me it can be wonderful. Search for blogs that are related to pregnancy, babies and anything else that inspires you (maternity fashion, nursery decor, family photography, prenatal yoga, etc.) and re-post any pictures that touch you. After a while, you can look back through your own blog and get a really good sense of what this chapter in your life means to you. That's a brilliant idea, Bekka! Thank you! Link to comment
Circe Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 Thanks for the well wishes guys!! It's really sweet - totally making my day Aw, yay!!! I always knew you would make an amazing mom if you ever decided to go that route! How high is the chance of you being pregnant now? 23 days is a long time for a later period, isn't it? Ok - it's none. I totally gave in and took another test yesterday - still negative. Plus - I went to get my first pap smear today (I know, I know - terrible I haven't had one yet) .. and without being gross - I think there's a good chance I'm about to get my period in a few days. Which - I was initially a tad bit disappointed by - but - I realize is a good thing because now I'll have a chance to take the vitamins for at least a month and see my obgyn for the pre-natal before we start... Yeah - it's like skipping a whole period - and that's not normal for me - but from everything I've read - it's fairly common to happen if you travel because of all the changes on your body and because of stress. And for me - this was a really stressful holiday. I had a good time - but it was to a country that I never felt safe in (I don't think it's that safe for women there - and I always felt I had to be on high alert and really careful - AND people stared and stared and stared at me ... they weren't used to seeing someone the same background as them - with someone of my husband's racial origin - ... it was weird - they didn't stare at him - they stared at me - and it just added to my unease) .... so .. I think that's what happened. I hope so because the last thing I need is an ongoing irregular menstrual cycle! Link to comment
Circe Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 The prenatals aren't essential as long as you're eating well. In fact, we're seeing more and more evidence that multi-vitamins can be harmful. However, it is absolutely essential to start taking folic acid prior to conception to avoid spinal cord defects. I have a been a really crappy eater all my life (e.g., chocolate, cake, microwave meals). I've always eaten absolute crap. I've now made a concerted effort to eat properly (trying to ease into vegetables; grilling meats; cutting out the sugar etc) - but I wouldn't be surprised if in my case - folic acid and the vitamins did some good.. Link to comment
Circe Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 Agreed. Prenatals have folic acid in them but a lot of doctors now are suggusting taking folic acid on top of the prenatal vitamin (at least, mine suggusted it when we were talking about getting my body ready for pregnancy one day). Here you can buy the folic acid in like Walmart in the vitamin section and I take one every day, just in case we have an accident and we end up pregnant. You know there's one study that says the pre-natal vitamin increases the risk of miscarriage - it's just one study and there may be other reasons why they got the result they did - and some other experts have said they seriously doubt the study could be replicated - but it caused me some worry. Unfortunately - most people do recommend the pre-natals because they have the folic acid in them. I don't know what to think but I'm going to take them for a month and then start trying.. and hope it's the right decision.. Link to comment
Circe Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 Good luck! I started trying a few months before my 41st birthday (I know, really late). I quickly learned that looking at the TTC (trying to conceive) message boards was a huge mistake. I'd stay far far away from those. I did not do pre-natal vitamins, just regular one a day for women. I started prenatals in my 6th week of pregnancy and they were very, very hard on my body. Oh my god - YEs!!!! They FrEaked me out!!! Just today alone I feel so much better because I didn't read anything from there. It's insanity - they have so many acronyms its like learning a new language; they monitor absolutely everything - getting pregnant looks akin to a full time, demanding job; and you hear about all the people who are really struggling and you see how much the struggle has just taken over their entire reason for living - and you start thinking that this is what's in store - when in reality - that's not the majority of people - and - in reality - if I do experience infertility issues - that doesn't necessarily mean it will destroy my life forever - I may just be able to come to terms with it and not let it mean that my life is meaningless. And yet - you would lose sight of all of this if you spent too much time on those boards. Link to comment
petite Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Try and not let it consume you and stress you. Just take it month by month. I find that when we let anything consume us too much we get disappointed and hit the ground too hard so to speak. If you're interested I have posted in my journal regarding pregnancy, how I felt and how I felt after having my baby girl. It is a process, it is a huge lifestyle change and honestly until you actually experience it yourself whatever else people say doesn't really register that much. I knew my life would be different I had all the freedom in the world and now everything works around our girl's schedule, I did take care if myself health wise before, during and after pregnancy and now at almost 11 weeks post birth things are much easier. Also don't let age stress you. I have birth at 33 and I've never felt better. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
petite Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I personally took Elevit with iodine before during and now pregnancy. All my friends and family took it and no one I know had anything negative to say about it. That said if you eat foods rich in folic acid that would be great too. Here is a link with plenty of information link removed I was really very careful about what I are because for me health is number one, and it was important for me to consume healthy food rich in vitamins, minerals and so forth. It all starts with food. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Link to comment
Circe Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 Wow, Petite!! Congratulations! I can't believe that in the time I've been gone you've had a baby! Wow.. I'll definitely have a read - thank you. Yes - I think this is great advice.. Link to comment
Circe Posted January 30, 2014 Author Share Posted January 30, 2014 I personally took Elevit with iodine before during and now pregnancy. All my friends and family took it and no one I know had anything negative to say about it. That said if you eat foods rich in folic acid that would be great too. Here is a link with plenty of information link removed I was really very careful about what I are because for me health is number one, and it was important for me to consume healthy food rich in vitamins, minerals and so forth. It all starts with food. Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk Urgh - it's hard for me because I've Never eaten vegetables. I didn't even as a kid. I find them absolutely revolting - I can manage some if they are in a boost juice and I can manage spinach... but - I do find that I'm willing to eat them now when I wasn't before. I still find them disgusting but I'll eat them anyway. I'm taking Blackmores pregnancy gold - with the folic acid and iodine. Link to comment
petite Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Uh yea, got married, had a kid. Don't worry about it, just let nature take its course, and slowly build your health team. We knew that we wanted a baby right after getting married because we didn't want to wait since we'd lived together prior to getting married, traveled and so forth. I think if you just enjoy the process and take care of your body for yourself first without thinking "I want baby, I want baby" it will just come naturally. Of course if after some time you aren't conceiving then it's wise to speak to your doctor. I've seen too many friends obsess over having babies and once they just took a break and released that stress it happened naturally when their body was ready. If you do want have a look at this article, there's 3 pages its got some good info. link removed Regarding vegetables -- this is something you might just have to battle through. Take it a day at a time and just keep trying different things, look up recipes with various vegetables and try including them in your diet. The first week is always hard but as time goes on it gets easier. You could also try making your own smoothies and drinks from fruits and vegetables at home. I love Boost juice because I can pick what I want on the run. Say your regular is 'the weekend warrior' maybe next time you can try 'caribbean green', 'veggie garden' (ask them to put strawberry/banana or whatever your favorite fruit might be) and after a few days try it without your favorite fruit, give it a few days and see how you go. When I started making green smoothies I found kale absolutely revolting, the smell, bitterness, it was just horrible. Now, I eat it raw! It just takes time, but believe me you'll notice how good you feel after a while. Rome wasn't built in a day Link to comment
Catherine_3 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 The lifestyle is what you make of it, I think. If you don't have friends with small children, you'll want to make some. My daughters and I have an amazing social life - BBQs, having friends over, going to the art gallery, going to the beach, going hiking (yes, with the kids), discovering all the cool kid-friendly cafes around the city. I find a lot of mothers give up their identity and have their lives completely revolve around bring a mom. I think it's better to maintain your own identity, just with kids in tow. Interesting parents will raise interesting children. Don't resign yourself to boring play dates with women you have little in common with. Don't chain yourself to your child's schedule. I know mothers who seem like slaves to their children. It doesn't have to be that way. When they're small, just stick them in the baby sling and go about your business. Link to comment
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