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My trying to have a baby journal


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Ok... 5th wedding anniversary.


Years ago we decided to only do gifts for birthdays (nothing else - not x-mas, V-day, anniversary etc) and dinner at a restaurant for our anniversary.


We usually have dinner together at a restaurant once a week anyway - so it probably seems like it's not very special to do the same thing on your anniversary - but for us, somehow, it still is.


It's just this year... this last year I've really learned what a great guy he is and he has stood by me through some really tough stuff - so I'd like to get him something. I think I might get him the new kindle (his one doesn't light up so you can't read in the dark with it) and see if I can engrave a couple of lines on it. I thought I might dig up a poem he wrote for me on our very first dating Anniversary and maybe take a few lines from that - engrave it as a "quote" - and then just add something myself. Assuming they engrave kindles.


And then I can just explain at dinner that I did this secretly because I didn't want a gift from him but because he's been so wonderful lately (I'm sure he'll know what I mean) I wanted to let him know how much I appreciate him. I think that would be ok (I don't think he'd feel guilty about not getting me anything if I do that). I hope not.


5 years.... god how time flies.

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re: phd - I know the general area (human conditioning) .. now this has absolutely nothing to do (well, that's not true - it has little bit to do) with the area I want to work in initially (I want to have my own clinical practice) ... but would be happy to pursue conditioning research if I decide later in life that practice is not for me and research/academia would be better. It was hard choosing an area that's not directly and clearly clinical (it's "accepted" for my purposes but it's pretty much on the outskirts of clinical) but there were so many practical benefits of picking that area I went with it...


I'm hoping after my next meeting with the sup I'll have a slightly better idea...


Ok - so the second round of tests confirmed something abnormal with my thyroid. It looks like some disease starting with an H - basically a "subclinically underactive thyroid" issue. My GP is perplexed though because I don't have the symptoms (weight gain, feeling tired). I've been referred to a specialist. GP said usually because I'm subclinical they would wait 6mths-1yr to see if it became clinical before starting me on the medication to repair the issue - but if I'm thinking of having a baby they'll probably start me earlier.


I don't think there will be any negative side effects but I'll find out when I see the specialist!


Gosh - I've learned soooo much since I started preparing - healthwise I mean. Like my teeth - I am so glad I went to the dentist!

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Yeah - it is - but there's another name as well called H____ Disease. I can't remember what the H stands for - it sounded a bit like an Asian sounding name (I've left the papers/results in the car).


I've been told not to worry though - apparently treatment isn't too complex and generally effective...

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The science of having babies changes so much over the years. It has even changed so much since my son was born. Then we didn't think about getting tests for this and that. We did all the regular things ,you know don't drink ,don't smoke those kinds of things. Take vitamins. I found prenatal vitamins ghastly by the way. By the seventh month my doctor told me I could stop taking them. They just totally ripped my stomach up.


It is always so interesting to watch the new crops of ladies come up and have babies. I love observing the process of observing and the pictures of their babies after. I just love babies!

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Even though you're not showing the typical signs of the disease, if you do in fact have it, there are likely symptoms. So you may actually find that you feel better once you start treatment.


Thyroid issues can screw up your emotions, your energy levels, etc. Even if it's too small to set off alarm bells, it could be there.

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I did a fair amount of research on that disease Circe back when we had no clue why I was breaking out into hives and swelling because some of my symptoms mimicked HD. Treatment is fairly effective and because it's an autoimmune disease, it can go into 'remission' when you are pregnant. It's just something they will have to keep an eye during your TTC months/pregnancy.

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The science of having babies changes so much over the years. It has even changed so much since my son was born. Then we didn't think about getting tests for this and that.


There was a time - before I started all the tests etc - that I really wished I'd just gone and accidentally gotten pregnant so I wouldn't have to bother with all this - it would be too late. But now - I have to say - I'm really glad I have been checked out. A couple of things (e.g. potential nerve damage with my tooth) could have blown up during a pregnancy and the last thing you want is to be taking mouth x-rays - or any kind of x-rays when pregnant..


But on things changing.. my husband was saying last night that his mother was always taught to place the baby on its tummy so it cries less and sleeps better. Of course, now with SIDs, we are told not to do that. Funny (and a bit scary) how advice changes as we learn things..

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Yeah that's true.. I could have symptoms that are too weak to notice. I'm eager and happy to get it checked out and taken care of.


Have made a firm resolution not to procrastinate on health stuff ever again and have regular check ups for everything! That way -at least you don't have to have the regret "if only I'd done what I was supposed to do and had my pap smear..etc, etc..."

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With so MANY toxins in the environment and foods I am surprised sometimes we can still procreate as a species . Infertility rises all the time. There is a big rise in hormonal issues ,endocrine issues, structural issues.


I don't know ,it just never occurred to me before getting pregnant to get my blood tested for this that and the other I just assumed I was fine. I don't think that when I got pregnant with my son that people did all those tests. And whatever they tested for after you were pregnant I got that done but was never told I ever had a thing. I guess I lucked out. But I do have uterine structural problems I found out I had after I was already pregnant. It was found on ultra sound .

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Yeah that's true.. I could have symptoms that are too weak to notice. I'm eager and happy to get it checked out and taken care of.


Have made a firm resolution not to procrastinate on health stuff ever again and have regular check ups for everything! That way -at least you don't have to have the regret "if only I'd done what I was supposed to do and had my pap smear..etc, etc..."


Ugh... One time I went 6 years without a pap. I have never had a bad pap in my life yet. I had my first mammogram 2 years ago. Perfectly fine.

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Yeah...I can see being in dental pain being just awful while pregnant... Hopefully once I get everything taken care of there will be no risk of that. You just reminded me that I never did make an appointment to get bloodwork done, so thanks for that!


Circe, I am so excited for you!!

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I think if they detect something in the pap - it's treatable/curable.. but if you let it go too long it can be deadly. So in that case we really should do it every 2 yrs. I never did it because I thought it would be awful... but then I went and it really wasn't that bad at all.


I think most people do luck out when it comes to pregnancies. You just don't want to be that person who didn't luck out - who COULD very easily have checked the issue out before they fell pregnant - but totally, I think that the whole pre-natal testing stuff is a fairly recent thing. I can't imagine GPs advised this years ago. I can't imagine people even thought of asking a GP before they started trying years ago...



So.... worried about my breathing issues I called my husband. He tried to encourage me to see a Dr but - I don't want another test that involves radiation to confirm that it's not a DVT issue from my recent flight. If I feel pain - I'll absolutely go and get that test. But not till then.


I then googled shallow breathing and thyroid issues... and yes! It's a symptom. I really hope that's what it is!!


I'm such a hypocrite. Right after extolling the virtues of always getting checked out - I don't want to do the full gambit of tests that will get done if you say you have trouble breathing and there's no reason for it (heart tests, lung tests.. I've done them all before when this happened once.. years ago)

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I just read this:


"It is paramount to understand that those diagnosed with Hashimoto’s or showing positive antibodies will be made WORSE with iodine supplementation."


Urgh - could this be why the breathing problems have started? They started after I started taking the pre-natals, which have iodine in them.

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So I'm in the hospital.. After ten days of this breathing crap we decided to get it checked out. There's a blood test that can flag Blood clots so I've taken that and now waiting for results.


Hoping for a negative . If I did get sabot her clot (after taking blood thinners, wearing stockings , staying hydrated and having heaps of moving around space) then not only will flying Anywhere again be out of the question - but the baby thing may be off the table too.


But I'm feeling really positive that whatever is causing it - it's not a clot. Fingers crossed !



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Hey guys .. All clear with the clotting - maybe it is just anxiety - but I'm glad I did the test as at least I'll worry less now.


Tonight we went out on an extended family dinner with my husbands cousins - they have a gorgeous 2yr old daughter who is extremely affectionate - so it was awesome seeing her.


They know we are thinking about trying soon as we asked them for OBGYN recommendations (his cousin is one herself) ... Anyway so she asked me if my parents would be able to help us out if we had kids (eg with babysitting).


I said my parents have vague plans of moving closer to us to do that if it happens but I kinda hope they don't (even though id love it) because they are so happy where they are - they have a great social life with friends who are neighbours and I wouldn't want them to leave all that.


The cousin then mentioned there's always my husbands mum. I just smiled...


.. And then my MIL said something about how extremely busy she is lately!!!


Wow - I always feared she's want to be heavily involved with baby sitting - turns out she probably wouldn't. Good news all round !



Had our anniversary dinner at a Japanese and French fusion restaurant. I'd love to say it went great but unfortunately I didn't listen to the advice my dentist gave me earlier that day about this restaurant. He told me not to do the matching wines with the degustation menu. Well I poo pooed that advice .. And as a consequence I cannot even remember what half of the dishes we had for dinner that might were. There were ten courses - dinner went in for five hours - and instead of giving us a normal matching wines course - as they knew it was our anniversary they kept topping up the glass. So after champagne, saki, white wine and red wine .. Well I just have no memory of the night from when the red wine started. What a shame as I'd been dying to try that restaurant!


I guess the take home message is: always listen to your dentist.




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