John John Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 I think rebelling against these roles is all that's left of them and the result are a bunch of people who can't take care of themselves. Women need to cook and clean just like men do. I agree. I think as long as all chores and duties of raising kids are split 50/50 and egalitarian wherever possible, it's fine. Link to comment
Catherine_3 Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 That's increibly misandrist to say men's 'style' of parenting is to be lazy and not cook, clean, or do laundry. All this does is raise more people who think someone else will do their work for them while they enjoy themselves. I didn't say that at all. If that's what you read from my post, that was your choice. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 I didn't say that at all. If that's what you read from my post, that was your choice. You clearly said 'their way' referring to dads style of parenting and then went on to list a buch of lazy neglectful garbage. Link to comment
Catherine_3 Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 You clearly said 'their way' referring to dads style of parenting and then went on to list a buch of lazy neglectful garbage. You're being argumentative. I said "even if". The same would apply to a mother. Link to comment
greywolf Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 Gender roles are very much alive, and people can deny it, but they are there. Doesn't mean I think it's right though. Link to comment
John John Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 (MCJD munches popcorn and hides under a table while bekka and pleasehelp settle their bitter ENA dispute) Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 You're being argumentative. I said "even if". The same would apply to a mother. I'm just responding. There's nothing to argue. What you wrote is right here for everyone to read. Spin it any way you like, but thinkers will come to their own conclusion. Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 (MCJD munches popcorn and hides under a table while bekka and pleasehelp settle their bitter ENA dispute) please pass the popcorn...hope you put butter on it. Link to comment
Blue_Skirt Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 I am an independent woman, I can clean, cook, iron etc.. Besides that, I make quite a good handyman. I can change tires, mow the lawn, do small repairs in and around the house. If there is something that I can’t do myself, I’ll get someone to do it and pay for it. And I like the same qualities in a man. A man who does not know how a laundry machine works or a vacuum cleaner and who is even proud of that, is a hug turn off for me. Link to comment
Blue_Skirt Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 The issue I would have with that is breastfeeding. The World Heath Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least two years. and take them to McDonalds. Sorry and I don’t mean to be disrespectful, but this one made me smile. Link to comment
John John Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 please pass the popcorn...hope you put butter on it. (MCJD hands the popcorn to mhowe. He hands her a side of butter, since he eats the boring, healthy-style popcorn) Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 Watching tv and playing with them is not the same as feeding/bathing/laundry. It is the fun part of kids --- and why often fathers are the good cop, while mothers are the bad cop. Exactly. I agree. I am capable and would love to play soccer with my kids. And I would be more than happy for a would-be husband to bathe the kids. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 (MCJD munches popcorn and hides under a table while bekka and pleasehelp settle their bitter ENA dispute) I'll hide with you! I will bring the flashlight and a blanket. I don't like it when mommy and daddy fight. Link to comment
superfan Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 I don't know what paternity leave means in the U.S. context. Here in Canada parental leave is 12 months but the parents can split it. For example, maybe she takes 9 months and he takes 3 months. The issue I would have with that is breastfeeding. The World Heath Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least two years. If the dad took parental leave, the mom would have to return to work sooner which would reduce the chances of successful breastfeeding beyond that point. Not impossible but would reduce chances of success. I don't think involved dads are less "manly" or traditional. They can do different things. They might not pack suitcases but maybe they play sports with the kids, help them with their homework, wrestle with them, or even just watch t.v. with them and take them to McDonalds. My husband and I have talked it through and he would likely take full parental leave instead of me. I would go back to work and he would stay home with the child. As far as breast feeding goes, it is possible just a bit more difficult. I know others who did it that way and just pumped enough breast milk to last while they were at work until they got home. Others I know weren't physically able to breast feed for whatever reason so it wasn't an issue. Regardless of what the WHO recommends, I wouldn't breastfeed beyond 6 months or so anyway (not judging others who do, just what I would do) so that wouldn't be too much of a problem. As for involved Dads, I don't see why their activities need to be any different from what a mother does. Why can't a man pack his own suitcase? My husband is perfectly capable of doing that. (And I would never ever take my children to McDonalds ) Link to comment
John John Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 I'll hide with you! I will bring the flashlight and a blanket. I don't like it when mommy and daddy fight. It's all good Darce. Me and mhowe have some popcorn to share with you. Just bring some liquor with you! MC likes scotch on the rocks! lol tvnerdgirl, you're invited too! MCJD does like the female/male ratio under this tabble. Giggity Link to comment
mhowe Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 To return to the topic at hand: gender roles.....I love scotch.....not diaquries!!!! Make mine a Johnny Walker!!!! Link to comment
John John Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 Too return to the topic at hand: gender roles.....I love scotch.....not diaquries!!!! Make mine a Johnny Walker!!!! And I like white wine. I love savignon blanc (waves at Savvy) and chardonnay. I've been on many dates where I've ordered white, and the girl has ordered something "manlier" like a Guinness or red wine...and the waiter always embarrasses me by giving us the wrong drinks. I mean, I LOVE my Maker's and Johnny Walker...but I'm not afraid to have "girly" drinks sometimes, I totally own it. Screw gender norms! Link to comment
superfan Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 And I like white wine. I love savignon blanc (waves at Savvy) and chardonnay. I've been on many dates where I've ordered white, and the girl has ordered something "manlier" like a Guinness or red wine...and the waiter always embarrasses me by giving us the wrong drinks. I mean, I LOVE my Maker's and Johnny Walker...but I'm not afraid to have "girly" drinks sometimes, I totally own it. Screw gender norms! Lol I am a total whiskey snob. If it is blended (like Canadian Club) I won't even touch it. A 12 year old single malt Dalwhinnie will do the trick for me thanks Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 My husband and I both work. We both share the child raising. Take it in turns to get up at night ,change and feed etc. He does the cooking. I do the cleaning/washing and sorting out of letters/bills. I must admit though he is the one that does the fixing stuff and DIY stuff I'm just awful at it lol Other than that were pretty equal. The only potentially more 'female role' I've taken is being the one that took maternity leave and working less than my husband to look after our child. Link to comment
Catherine_3 Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 As for involved Dads, I don't see why their activities need to be any different from what a mother does. It doesn't have to be. But often it is. Men and women are different. We just are. Why can't a man pack his own suitcase? Men can pack suitcases. I was responding specifically to a post about a man who packed his own suitcase and didn't pack his childrens'. And what I'm saying is that, just because a man doesn't do things the way his wife would, that doesn't necessarily mean he's not doing his share. I see this a lot with my friends. They complain that their husbands aren't doing their share. But when I'm around the couple, the wife is constantly criticising her husband and talking down to him. I want so badly to tell my friends, "you're not letting him do his share. But of course I wouldn't say that to their faces, so I'm taking the opportunity to express my opinion on an anonymous forum instead. Again, whatever works for any particular couple, as long as they're both happy, is fine. I'm a parent of young kids. I practically live at indoor playgrounds. It's not so common to see men there, unless they are accompanied by their wife. However, go to any McDonald's playland, and that's where the dads are hanging out when they're on kid-duty on a Saturday morning. Does this mean every dad takes his kids there? No. But the reality is that a disproportionate number do. I know this because I take my kids there. I also left a sink full of dishes last night (which my husband washed this morning), I have a pile of laundry in my laundry room. Apparently these things make me "neglectful" according to pl3aseh3lp. I also play sports with my kids (as does my husband). My husband gives my kids their baths in the morning, he gives them a full body massage with lotion and he irons their clothes (even our toddlers). We share the work. We appreciate each other's efforts. That's what works for us. What matters is that we're both happy with it, we appreciate each other and nobody feels resentful or exausted. Link to comment
Thorshammer Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 In the opinion of a lot of people i know, the demolishing of the gender-roles is whats screwing up relationships, and also... a lot of men are completely clueless about dating because there is a whole new world- and their traditional mom and dads cant teach them 'squat'. Both men and women seem to be winging it really, and we get a lot of "i dont know what i want". I honestly dont care - i think i thrive in this world compared to what i think i would have if i was in the old. Besides that, i also think the players and womanizers are the ones who benefit the most with these changes - i have posted-this to death on this forum. Link to comment
needhelp6 Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 In the opinion of a lot of people i know, the demolishing of the gender-roles is whats screwing up relationships, and also... a lot of men are completely clueless about dating because there is a whole new world- and their traditional mom and dads cant teach them 'squat'. Both men and women seem to be winging it really, and we get a lot of "i dont know what i want".I tend to agree, I'm lost with some of the "new" roles. I'm a traditional guy, I like to pay, I open doors, my ex quit her job to manage the home and raise our daughter (she didn't clean, she had a housekeeper) and I worked. For me this worked, worked well . . . still looking for that next traditional gal. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 In the opinion of a lot of people i know, the demolishing of the gender-roles is whats screwing up relationships, and also... a lot of men are completely clueless about dating because there is a whole new world- and their traditional mom and dads cant teach them 'squat'. Both men and women seem to be winging it really, and we get a lot of "i dont know what i want". But didn't you bristle at the traditional girl who wanted you to take care of her financially? Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted January 21, 2014 Share Posted January 21, 2014 I tend to agree, I'm lost with some of the "new" roles. I'm a traditional guy, I like to pay, I open doors, my ex quit her job to manage the home and raise our daughter (she didn't clean, she had a housekeeper) and I worked. For me this worked, worked well . . . still looking for that next traditional gal. Then I would suggest not looking at women who have high-powered careers. Link to comment
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