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I just don't understand this...Girls can you help me out? Thanks. Read more at


EnriqueIglesia

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This girl I liked I was nice to here,treated her with respect,and I got her a Christmas present with a nice card,And when she was out of hospital I asked her if she needed anything to let me know if it was a Magazine or Ice-cream or anything in General.Anways...We went out to the club and she went off with this UGLY guy (Spots,Scars,Long Face) Just EWW...

 

But she left the club with him and they probably kissed and probably more...I just don't understand...I'm much better looking then he was,Treated her with respect and was lovely to her and she goes off with this ugly guy and I dressed up and everything even bought her a drink too...He did nothing.

 

Advice?Please...

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Don't be too nice or you'll get friend-zoned, which is what I think happened here.

 

That is over-simplifying. You should be nice to the person you have a crush on. What you should NOT do is what I mentioned in my above post. Making someone a priority when they are not doing the same for you is what gets people into trouble.

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Of course he can be nice to her! If she was interested in him, she'd be swooning at what a sweet and thoughtful guy he is. Since she is not interested, I doubt whatever he does will make her change her mind.

 

 

The final blow is going to a club with her and her leaving with someone else...time to move on my friend and find someone that will appreciate your kindness.

 

Don't be too nice or you'll get friend-zoned, which is what I think happened here.

 

We don't know the details, the only reason you may be right is if we came on too strong too soon. ie. doing all this thoughtful stuff but yet they only hung out once and he's an acquaintance or something.

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She is very clearly not interested in you. It doesn't matter if you are nice or better looking in general. Don't ever look at other guys and try to compete - love and attraction doesn't work that way. It's not a competition. If you ask 10 different women to rate one guy on looks, you'll get 10 different opinions. Looks are subjective, what each woman is looking for or finds attractive is going to vary.

 

Also, it's complete and utter nonsense to say that a guy was too nice. No such thing. If she is attracted to you, then being nice will definitely help you and being a jerk will ruin things. If she is not attracted, then it really doesn't matter if you are nice or not, she still doesn't see you as romantic potential. Again, there is no return on investment when it comes to love. Just because you were nice, doesn't mean she now owes you a relationship. Be nice for the sake of being nice and because that's who you are and you will find a woman who loves you for it. Don't ever do nice things with an ulterior motive and a hidden expectation - that will ensure that you end up bitter and alone. Nice doesn't create a debt and most people will run from someone who tries to claim that.

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Of course he can be nice to her! If she was interested in him, she'd be swooning at what a sweet and thoughtful guy he is. Since she is not interested, I doubt whatever he does will make her change her mind.

 

 

The final blow is going to a club with her and her leaving with someone else...time to move on my friend and find someone that will appreciate your kindness.

 

 

 

We don't know the details, the only reason you may be right is if we came on too strong too soon. ie. doing all this thoughtful stuff but yet they only hung out once and he's an acquaintance or something.

 

Yeah I agree with you BigKK. Final blow was when she left the club with another dude...I woulda been done with her from that second on.

 

OP, if you are even half as good looking as the real Enrique, I'm sure you'll have no problem getting another girl to "Bailamos" with you

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The only way to be sure is to ask her about what she feels about you-- just be ready for answers tho .

she probably left with that guy but you are just assuming what happens next..

Take it easy.. just probably be direct about what you feeel about her and ask her where you stand so as it will be cleared

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Wow. Classic. I read once that if you do too much for a girl that you're not dating yet she will see you as too valuable to risk sacrificing your friendship for something potentially disastrous as physical intimacy.

 

So UNTIL the two of you are together:

 

Don't talk a whole lot to a girl

Don't spend time or money on a girl

Don't do things or try to help a girl or revamp her life.

 

The harder you chase the more invested you become and the more you want it.

 

Do this instead:

 

Text or phone just a little bit to get to know a girl or to set up dates

 

Be direct, simple and to the point.

 

Lot's of guys put women they have not yet dated on a pedestal to show them what great boyfriends they can be. You have to do this after you start dating her or you'll encounter a wall of resistance that's a mile high. She won't want to risk the friendship for what could be a one time roll in the hay and just knowing that she has you can be quite valuable to her.

 

Read the full article at http://www.girlschase/content/keeping-your-cool-don't-chase-women. It's pretty eye opening

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I dont know why the male posters always make posts asking only women on why do this or that about women - or how to attract women. Not to say women cant give good advice, but its usually men who are tasked with attracting straight women - and its men who have been in this situation and who have gathered the experience after its happened to them, so i dont understand all these posts leaving men out of the equation, lol (just a rant, nothing personal).

 

1- What you find attractive in men is you ... being a MAN... trying to find out what is attractive in another MAN... You dont know much unless you are gay. Yes, Brad Pitt looks handsome, but there are guys out there that my straight-mind will say... He has a huge nose, long face and a square jaw... while a woman looks at this face and sees MANLY features, and voila... shes attracted. So, in other words, your judgment about a mans attraction level... may not be accurate.

 

2- You dont use gifts or HELP as a way to attract. Thats just you being nice, i do that for my bestfriend and sister too. I WAS that guy that snatched a girl from a friend when i notice she was giving me the eye even though he was paying for all her drinks. She didnt owe him anything, he was just being nice... while i zeroed in and went straight into attracting her. She probably read what you were doing as you trying to compensate, when she reads that... its done. And it seems like you were compensating since you are counting the nice things you did for her.

 

3- Where is the aggression? You made no moves on her - even if you did everything right and that dude wasnt there, you still would be in the same spot you are in now. Just being bold and cool is levels above what you did for her.

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