Girlfriend and I broke up over her sexuality

[CuttinPractice]

I broke up with my girlfriend 3 days ago and it really sucks. I really loved her and we were going to make a year in just about a week. We had a really good and healthy relationship but apparently she's been suppressing her sexuality.

It started about a month or two ago, we had a movie night alone at her apartment. Things got really steamy and we started making out. I tried to take her pants off and she stopped me. I thought it was a bit off because she usually tells me in advance if she didn't want to do anything sexual. I asked her if there was anything wrong and she told me that she just wasn't in the mood and apologized. It didn't really bother me at first when she said that and I told her not to be sorry and we can just do it some other time.

Anyway, days passed and this kinda became a routine. We would go on a date or something, go back to her place to hang out, things get really steamy, we started kissing and it didn't go anywhere. She would sometime give me bj's and whenever she decides that we were having sex, it felt extremely forced. Things got really tense and I started to notice that she stopped looking at me the way she used to. I finally confronted her about it 3 days ago and she started telling me how she's been suppressing her sexuality all these years. She started telling me how she's always liked girls and everyday that feeling gets stronger and stronger. She admitted to have sexual relations with girls before we started dating and told me that having sex with males makes her feel degraded. I told her that I kind of need sex to feel loved and if she can't give me that then things are just going to be really tense and they won't last much longer. I would feel uncomfortable not getting laid and she would feel uncomfortable laying me because she feels obligated. Then we pretty much agreed that it was best to end it here.

what do I do? I have been in numerous relationships but I honestly have never been in a better one that this one. We were so much alike, we barely fought about anything (even when we did, it doesn't last longer than a day), and I feel that she really did love me. Do you guys think this is just a phase? Should I wait it out or is it best for me to move on?

[Edmund Exley]

Whether it is a phase or not remains to be seen. What is clear is that the relationship has ended. Make peace with the fact that this is what she has chosen and begin to move on.

[SooSad33]

I don't really think it's a phase'. I think she's just becoming more 'aware' of her sexuality & preferences .

Not sure of your ages? But some, especially re: lesbian etc. can take a while to 'admit' it to themselves and others.

 

She's at least been honest with you now. i'm sure your quite taken with this fact.

 

Since you've now broken up over 'your' and her needs. Best just to let her go. Im sorry you got hit so hard over this. I can understand this being quite shocking. But does explain her 'backing off'.

I'd let her go now.. work on you & your time.. your mind & your heart. Take it easy..

 

tc

[lavenderdove]

OK, you're done here. She's basically told you she's gay and her desire to be gay is growing stronger every day.

 

Time to pack it in. She's interested in women and not men. There's all kinds of love in the world and she may have loved you like a brother or a very special friend, but romantic love and attraction for her is towards women. Which you are not, so best to just let this go and find a girl who is hetero.

[sharky988]

^^ Agreed. Homosexuality isn't a phase and it isn't a choice.... it's who she IS.

[DancingFool]

Coming to terms with who she is and becoming open about it is not a phase. There many like her who will invest in hetero relationships, sometimes for years, before finally coming to terms that this is not who they are. Sucks for you, but no choice but to move on.

[Moontiger]

^^ Agreed. Homosexuality isn't a phase and it isn't a choice.... it's who she IS.

 

Agreed. On the bright side, at least you found out now instead years down the line or god forbid if you guys had gotten married.

[pippy longstocking]

Whether it is a phase or not remains to be seen. What is clear is that the relationship has ended. Make peace with the fact that this is what she has chosen and begin to move on.

 

yep ..this is all there is to say ....

[Ms Darcy]

She admitted to have sexual relations with girls before we started dating and told me that having sex with males makes her feel degraded.

 

I told her that I kind of need sex to feel loved and if she can't give me that then things are just going to be really tense and they won't last much longer. I would feel uncomfortable not getting laid and she would feel uncomfortable laying me because she feels obligated. Then we pretty much agreed that it was best to end it here.

 

Really easy one to advise. Move on. She feels degraded by sex with men. You are a man. You need sex. Not gonna work.

[catfeeder]

and told me that having sex with males makes her feel degraded.

 

That pretty much nails the coffin shut on this relationship. She doesn't just dislike sex with men, she's hostile toward it. You can't overcome that.

[pippy longstocking]

honest mate it don't matter how many times you post this , I am sorry but the answer will be the same ...

 

I know it must be horrible but there is nothing you can do .