Easiest way to date in your 20's for guys - Increase Physical Attractiveness?

[radiohead20]

I have noticed, that in periods where I am more physically attractive women are more receptive to me, even though my personality changes little and in fact I may be less personable.

 

I have also noticed that the dating dynamic among 20 and early 30-some's is shifting dramatically towards being more sensitive to physical appearance for men (has almost always been this way for women). Example - your attractiveness in profile pictures seems to be, by far, the most important factor, for women and now also for men. I think this is because of the increase in usage of online dating applications that increase re-markedly the amount of potential suitors to a ridiculous level. Examples include POF, OkCupid, Tinder - the ability to sift through 50+ options a day. There also seems to be less time spent on each profile or "first impression", thus facilitating the need to more quickly screen candidates out.

 

Also, I continuously hear of men finding it near impossible to land a date. Confusingly, most of the comments I hear from women in their 20's/30's that have used these applications is that all the guys they meet end up being "creeps" or "weird" when they meet. this is extremely confusing, as I know a lot of perfectly normal men that use these dating sites, how can you be extremely selective and then still end up with "creeps".

 

I then met a guy who uses POF/Tinder/OKcupid yesterday and has startling results. He said that at one time he had spent time on his profile and put information such as his career/goals/preferences/etc and worked on that aspect but was getting no results. He then hired a professional photographer to takes photographs of him in the best light possible, and posted those pictures on those websites. He said he used photoshop to hide blemishes, increases musculature slightly in the photos. The photos looked like a sexier version of him, but were not so modified that women he met would be caught off guard. Since then, he said he has been saying the exact same things as before, has not changed his profile contents, and has gone from 1 date a month to around 3-4 dates a week. And he did not look bad in his previous pictures, above average I would say. He said that nothing about him changed, and considers it a way for him to "get in" and get a date. It costs him around 350 to hire a photographer to take these photos and perform all the edits and he said it has been well worth it. I told him it just seemed "strange" spending so much on something so seemingly shallow but he told me "that is just the way the system works".

 

So new strategy for men who desire to dating women in their 20s/30s - Put most of your effort into maximizing your physical appearance both in real life and in online dating (if you do that), and only work on your social skills if you are shy or is it hard for you to hold a conversation. No need to work on "game", "charisma" etc.

[Angler]

Education

Career

Fitness

 

For quality women, you need all three.

 

If you just want to go out on multiple dates per week with lots of girls...ya, just be fit and dress nice.

[mhowe]

Education

Career

Fitness

 

For quality women, you need all three.

 

If you just want to go out on multiple dates per week with lots of girls...ya, just be fit and dress nice.

 

Listen to the wise man

[John John]

Education

Career

Fitness

 

For quality women, you need all three.

 

If you just want to go out on multiple dates per week with lots of girls...ya, just be fit and dress nice.

 

 

100% this! Ya gotta be well rounded. Looking good and dressing snazzy may get you laid, but if you want something real with a quality woman, you need the aforementioned trifecta of career, education, and fitness.

[mhowe]

Quality women want something besides a nice smile, a set of abs, and a nice car --- like....conversation!!

[radiohead20]

Education

Career

Fitness

 

For quality women, you need all three.

 

If you just want to go out on multiple dates per week with lots of girls...ya, just be fit and dress nice.

 

Agreed, although I think "education and career" could mean a lot of things (does not necessarily mean college educated working a white collar job

 

Although I do agree with you, I would have to say that a man that has those three factors will still strike out if he does not optimize the third "fitness, or appearance" to a much higher level, and that surprisingly, it seems that nowadays he will get the most "bang for your buck" by far (sorry pun not intended) if he increases "fitness" or "appearance". I know many of men who have a great education/career/in shape that fail to obtain dates just because their profile picture does not put them in the top 5%, even if they are NOT going after blonde "bombshells". the point of my topic was that looks are become the primary "factor" for the pathway to a long term relationship, even though it is not the most important thing to maintain a long term relationship. You need to audition to get the role. This sort of conflicts with the current mentality to focus on your personality and social charisma in order to land a date (and I think this is targeted towards more men who LACK social skills rather than men that are more even-keeled).

 

There can be situations where a man has little success and he is not an awkward conversationalist, has ambitions (career) and is in good shape. People will tell him "you need to increase you game, you need to learn how to flirt better, better your personality". he will continue to beat himself up in frustration attributing his failures to his personality, when in fact all he has to do is go to formulate a plan to maximize his physical appearance and go forth from there.

 

Again, this is mostly the case with 20s' early 30's some's it seems.

[Iggy5129]

Love your username OP!

 

I think you might be right but only because people in this age group are not necessarily looking to settle down. There is more of tendency to go out, get drunk and hook up when you're in your 20's and early 30's. The best way to not get emotionally attached in these situations? Go for someone you find superficially attractive but don't really like their personality.

 

But like other people said, if you want a deep meaningful relationship you need to have more than good looks. It all depends what you are looking for.

[nsomnia912]

Personally I think the online dating thing has totally screwed up dating in America, yet is completely on par to what this country has become. Love, Life, Career its all the same "only the best progress" Internet dating has given the female population complete control over everything. GUYS KNOW THAT AND LIE LIE LIE. They know that whats "real" for them includes a world where they have arm candy, be the envy of her friends, and know she will have a completely secure life financially. And why not? if they have the the options why not go for the best? you dont go into best buy shopping for a modem and pick the damaged box in the back of the row. you pick the perfect shiny box up in front.

 

Sorry to say but you do not see a Hot woman with an ugly broke guy. and you dont see a ripped guy with all his hair and fat bank account with a fat girl.

 

which is why marriage happens overnight and divorce happens even faster.

 

maybe its natural selection.

 

This isnt shakesphere days where real love exsists, Its a time where "If ya aint first, your last"

 

in all fairness I am aware that its not always the case and there are some good genuine people out there that see people in real form. they are just fading into the night with the rest of the mediocre world.

[radiohead20]

And why not? if they have the the options why not go for the best? you dont go into best buy shopping for a modem and pick the damaged box in the back of the row. you pick the perfect shiny box up in front.

 

This is the root of the "problem". Too many options = increased selectivitly. But, can blame them, I would do the same thing too. Problem is, you end up in a situation where no one really wins. women get temporary intimacy without commitment and men get sexual frustration. Additionally, there is less motive for women to keep up their physical attractiveness, since any women that is at least average looking can get tons of attention on online dating. I'll give a microcosm that is representative of the real world - Ask 20 random men in their 20's and half of them have no been laid in over a year while 1 or 2 men in the group have bedded over 10 women in the past year. Ask 20 random women the same thing and most of them have been "laid" in the past year, usually by the same one or two guys from the first group of 20 men.

[In the Dark]

Yes the World can be a very sad place to be in if your experiences state you fall below the requirements in some way which make you the runner up with the opposite gender.

Dating sites will rub this in your face, not by intention but logical choice of the potential partners.

[Dougie_D]

Either way, you have to get your "foot in the door". All the women who posted didn't deny that looks come in some sort of play. What they don't realize is that looks are the FIRST THING ANYONE NOTICES about you. If you can't stand out from everyone else from a physical point of view, you really have get lucky with a girl that likes your interests.

[Sportster2005]

I believe everybody should be in excellent shape. Less stress, more energy, better quality of life. You feel better about yourself, more confidence. Don't do it though to attract a mate. On the contrary, do it for yourself.

 

There is absolutely no doubt in my mind being able to post a picture online of a fit you will give you a huge advantage. Combine this with an original thoughtful profile and you'll be just fine. I'm an average looking guy, and I date quality women. I think it's because I have more energy and zest that a lot of guys my age. Even the educated big money guys. Granted if I had more money and status I would do even better. But I can't do much about that know. But I can stay in top shape.

[Slimpee]

C'mon, blanket statements like "you have to be educated and fit in order to get a date" are not helpful. Maybe it makes it easier, but we all have friends who are going nowhere who are in relationships and friends who seem to have it all together for whom love doesn't seem to work out.

 

It comes down to a myriad factors: some we can control, others we can't.

[SA_Guy99]

Not that it's bad advice to get in better shape, but that's something we should all do for ourselves and not to satisfy anyone else. (It baffles me how obese people are content with being big, but that's another rant for another topic.)

 

Fact is that none of us can control how attractive we are to any member of the opposite sex. I've lost 20 pounds myself recently and it's made no change in my interaction with women. Careers are also hard to come by these days. I have friends who have one or two degrees and can't find jobs. In hindsight, I'm glad I didn't waste thousands of dollars on college/university because it guarantees nothing.

[radiohead20]

.)

Fact is that none of us can control how attractive we are to any member of the opposite sex. I've lost 20 pounds myself recently and it's made no change in my interaction with women.

 

I hate being hyper-analytical about the looks debate - but I think it is under control how physically attractive we are, but it just depends on the person and in fact one guy can just change one tiny thing and get results while another guy will have to change 10 things and undergo a massive transformation, even if he is already decent looking. Example - One friend of mine has very broad shoulders but is extremely skinny. I am much more muscular than he is but I have very narrow shoulders. however, broad shoulders can give the illusion of strength and muscularity even if one has a skinny frame if you are wearing the right shirt. Hence, all he had to do was put on a tighter shirt and BAM, he started getting more "looks". I, on the other hand, have to continue to put on mass to an almost ridiculous point to make up for the fact that I have narrow shoulders. Also, I know guys that look sickly underneath their clothes but have a great jawline and sport a 5 o clock shadow that makes all the difference.

 

My point is that what you change, no matter what it is, has to matter. If you lose 20 pounds but you went from 240 to 220 it isnt going to make a difference. If you gain 30 pounds of muscle but you still look skinny with a sweatshirt on it doesn't make a difference. I think people often overlook though, although it usually DOES make a difference

[Dougie_D]

Also, I know guys that look sickly underneath their clothes but have a great jawline and sport a 5 o clock shadow that makes all the difference.

 

Women prefer a cuter face than a great looking body. The facial structure you have is a LOT harder to change unless you get plastic surgery.

[jonny15]

I hate being hyper-analytical about the looks debate - but I think it is under control how physically attractive we are, but it just depends on the person and in fact one guy can just change one tiny thing and get results while another guy will have to change 10 things and undergo a massive transformation,

 

You can change alot. But you can't change an ugly face.

 

I could lose all the weight I wanted to, but my face would still be attacted to me. And that isn't going to improve ever.

[Rotto]

You can change alot. But you can't change an ugly face.

 

I could lose all the weight I wanted to, but my face would still be attacted to me. And that isn't going to improve ever.

Clean shaven or trimmed facial hair + clear, well moisturized skin + solid haircut that fits you + white teeth can make all the difference in the world for a man's facial aesthetics.

[Dougie_D]

Clean shaven or trimmed facial hair + clear, well moisturized skin + solid haircut that fits you + white teeth can make all the difference in the world for a man's facial aesthetics.

 

That's all about STYLE. Not the actual structure to a mans face. Nose length, ears, small/big mouth, jaw line, chin or no chin.

 

I was born with a small chin and an overbite. I went to the orthodontist to help my teeth, etc... But I still have a small chin. I have extra/loose flab of muscle underneath my chin that makes it look like a double chin. Yes, I'm a little heavy now, but in highschool, I still had a double chin.

[mhowe]

Women prefer a cuter face than a great looking body. The facial structure you have is a LOT harder to change unless you get plastic surgery.

 

What? Since you aren't a woman, I would refrain from saying what women like!

I have dated several men in my time...most of them very fit. All of them intelligent and just generally fun to be with. Looks might open the door...but it will close in a minute if you open your mouth and have nothing to say.

[abysmal]

Appearance means nothing without charisma and great posture, inviting body language, etc.

 

I've been told that a lot of my problems stem from being unapproachable.

[Mesemene]

Looks play into it, sure.

 

But in all honesty, presentation can be more important than looks. I'd be more inclined to strike up a conversation and stick around for an average, plain guy who is well groomed, decent posture, and who is demonstrating basic manners than a gorgeous one lacking in any of those areas.

 

The areas guys miss that can matter:

1) Teeth. Brush before heading out, brush again if you happen to be eating a food likely to stick in the crevices. Nothing less attractive than seeing cheese gunk embedded in a first smile.

2) Cologne. A light touch is all that's needed. Bathing in it is a turn off. Heavy heavy scents are a turn off. And it can be a one shot kill to any women with a hint of allergies.

3) Deodorant. Like with cologne - no heavy scents, and if you're going to wear cologne - wear unscented deodorant. A cacophony of colliding scents is not pleasant.

4) Posture. Keep hands on the table, elbows off. Don't slouch - it can make the nicest physique look frumpy.

5) Hands. Trim the nails, and clean as possible under 'em. Handing a chick a flower or appetizer is ruined if your hands look like you've come straight from digging for worms.

6) Clothes. Dress for comfort - not for GQ - but please either wear wrinkle resistant or develop a relationship with an iron. Wrinkled (to excess) clothing, like posture, can completely change the way you look physically, and NOT for the better.

[Sportster2005]

Appearance means nothing without charisma and great posture, inviting body language, etc.

 

I've been told that a lot of my problems stem from being unapproachable.

 

Smile more. Problem solved.

[Sportster2005]

Not gonna happen.

[tom1607307597]

2) Cologne. A light touch is all that's needed. Bathing in it is a turn off. Heavy heavy scents are a turn off. And it can be a one shot kill to any women with a hint of allergies.

3) Deodorant. Like with cologne - no heavy scents, and if you're going to wear cologne - wear unscented deodorant. A cacophony of colliding scents is not pleasant.

 

As a guy I'm actually confused when it's best to wear cologne. I wouldn't wear it for a normal day out and going out late at night I usually don't see a reason to if you are just hanging out with friends. The only time I would ever use it for sure is if I was going on a date. Deodorant for sure 100% of the time. Wearing scentless though makes a guy smell like well... Just clean. Nothing special.