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Easiest way to date in your 20's for guys - Increase Physical Attractiveness?

radiohead20

By radiohead20
in Dating Advice

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mhowe Proficient

mhowe

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It really depends on the cologne. You might think it smells food..or one of your friends has had great success... but it really is @ chemistry. My bf in college wore a scent...my brother tried it and he smelled awful!

 

So guys... as a sister, a friend...before you jump on some bandwagon of cologne. And a little goes a long way.

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jonny15 Enthusiast

jonny15

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Clean shaven or trimmed facial hair + clear, well moisturized skin + solid haircut that fits you + white teeth can make all the difference in the world for a man's facial aesthetics.

 

I do shave, since my ability to grow facial hair is rather bad. I do stay clean. My haircut may be crappy, but I wouldn't know a good haircut anyways. And I keep my teeth as white as I can get it.

 

My face is still jacked up.

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radiohead20 Enthusiast

radiohead20

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I think you guys/gals maybe didn't quite get the EXACT message I was implying in my original post or the following posts (or maybe I did not convey it clear enough too

 

My main point was not that personality does not matter, or that the be all end all solution is to increase your physical attraction, if you have no personality. What I guess I meant is that, considering everything else is "there", aka, you can converse like a normal human being (hint you do not have to have crazy charisma but you do have to be able to hold a comfortable conversation with a stranger), that increasing your physical attraction will yield the most results. I think most men fall into this category. PUA is targeted towards guys with little social experience I feel like.

 

Here is an example:

 

Take Ben.

 

Ben is an average looking guy that can comfortably converse with strangers, but typically gets shot down by women. They seem comfortable with him but do not want to escalate things further. Ben searches for help and everyone tells him he needs to work on his "game". He spends time on improving his confidence by bettering the way he walks/speaks. He becomes irritated because although his results improve a little, things still seem "off". on top of that, he has to put on an overconfident "facade" every time he talks to a women and feels like he has to say something witty every time. Its draining. Ben just wants to have fun, and to meet new people, and also he wants them to make a good impression on him without feeling like he has to "sell" himself to every women. To make matters worse, he notices that his friend matt who is good looking barely approaches women, and is not much of a conversationalist, yet still attracts women. Matt then decides to hit the gym, gain 20 pounds of muscle, dress in very nice clothes, take care of his body. He notices that he can revert back to his original personality and have tons more success than before.

 

I went out with one of my buddies who is 6' 2" muscular, good looking downtown this past weekend. He met two girls that night he had met the night before who gave him their number. This has NEVER happened to me. Problem is he is afraid to "lead" these women and is a little shy when it comes to flirting. Thus these interactions rarely go anywhere. Problem is, I typically end up chatting to these girls and having a good conversation and I can see it in their faces that they are confused. they want him "physically" and wish for it to work, but they like the way I interact with them, but do not want me physically.

 

this has happened to SEVERAL friends of mine.

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Angler Apprentice

Angler

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So the guy who is bigger and stronger has better success. I know we try to dress up dating (prelude to mating) as some sort of game that should somehow be fair for all participants, but in the end biology and instincts still rule. We have iPhones, cars, and online dating, but we aren't that far removed from fighting for every meal.

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Sportster2005 Mentor

Sportster2005

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This shouldn't be an epiphany for anyone. People generally want to be with fit good looking healthy mates. It's not everything, but I roll my eyes when people down play it's importance, or worse completely deny it. And you can argue until the cows come home if it's proper and shallow and although those other things that come up in these threads about physical beauty, but it's not going to change a fundamental fact of life. Humans are drawn to beautiful looking people.

 

What you can and can't do about it is what matters. You can get in good shape, and be the best you. you can be. Just not on the physical level. You can't date beautiful people by sheer will and desire. Beautiful women and men have tons of options. They likely and often pick mates in their peer group, ergo other beautiful looking people. People will and do like to bring up exceptions. Go right ahead. Try to be that exception.

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radiohead20 Enthusiast

radiohead20

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Correct. Shouldn't be an epiphany, however strangely, men have been told that looks do not matter to the point where they feel as if they can make up being physically unattractive by being a comedian, making a crapload of money, or having some extreme form of pick-up artistry. Just look at the PUA culture, its completely dependent on "looks don't matter" and is designed to falsely empower even the fugliest of men that they can get laid by blonde bombshells. problem is that with this mentality, men are going to be in a circle of negative self-infliction blaming their lack of success on their personality and thus not gaining appropriate confidence, when in fact it is their looks that need to be improved. Fact of the matter is that it does matter, even more so nowadays due to women having to rely less on the financial crutch of a man. They are, in effect, beginning to act more like "men" in terms of dating. men are now becoming hot pieces of ass. I know women in their early 20's who have casual sex with men for fun and pick the men solely on their looks and not their intelligence/ambition/personality. it actually benefits good looking men of very low status that want to get laid. in essence men are becoming more like giant animotronic dildos to some of these women.

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John John Proficient

John John

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Correct. Shouldn't be an epiphany, however strangely, men have been told that looks do not matter to the point where they feel as if they can make up being physically unattractive by being a comedian, making a crapload of money, or having some extreme form of pick-up artistry. Just look at the PUA culture, its completely dependent on "looks don't matter" and is designed to falsely empower even the fugliest of men that they can get laid by blonde bombshells. Fact of the matter is that it does matter, even more so nowadays due to women having to rely less on the financial crutch of a man. They are, in effect, beginning to act more like "men" in terms of dating. men are now becoming hot pieces of ass.

 

Yes. 1000% yes. Women want to date models too, as much as they may not admit it.

 

I sometimes read PUA bulls@#t solely for the lolz. It's truly sad...I mean, hey, if it gives some people hope, go for it. But I'd rather just be myself and have a girl like me for me as opposed to "running game" or "doing a routine" just to score a number. Do they have "routines" for first, second, and third dates? LMFAO

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John John Proficient

John John

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You have a super hero costume????

 

I was Harry Potter for Halloween last year, and Super Mario the year before that - so I have multiple super hero costumes. If they do come at me, I will hit em with Expelliarmus, and follow that up with a nice fireball and turtle shell toss! (yes I'm a huge nerd, now you all see)

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Slimpee Contributor

Slimpee

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I think that there are general leagues but instead of discernible dividers, it's more like a rainbow...tough to tell where one league ends and the next begins.

 

Personally, I do sometimes wonder where I fall but most of the time I try not to think about it. I want the woman to make a decision about me; I don't want to make it for her by stressing about leagues.

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Dougie_D Proficient

Dougie_D

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The problem with leagues is that most women don't know what league they are in. For instance, my guy friend is in the 8-10 league. He might dip down to a 7 but that's his cut-off. He gets tons of looks from the 5-7 leagues but they will have many friends that are in the 8-10 league.

 

Basically what I'm saying is, women will always go for what they think they can get because everyone is encouraging them to go for the hotter one.

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Thorshammer Contributor

Thorshammer

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I am 32 years old, and i would say i snagged some real hotties, and since i am the most politically incorrect guy here who shoots at the mouth...

 

Yes, looks will always matter. You can spin it all you want, add spice to the top all you want, looks will be the thing that will stand out. Many people will forgive traits they find unattractive, because you are physically attractive (as tho the traits are obviously not harmful to her or her future). Now, this doesnt mean you will lock down a future with her... because that comes with...

 

"Game" (or a better word/saying; knowing how to date and charm)- as someone who struggled with dating - i wondered why they didnt stay with me if they found me cute and funny. Now, this game is not the way its used here, its called social skills, confidence and attractive behavioral traits (and just plain old having an actual infectious personality backed by sex appeal (either through charm, confidence, or looks) that avoids the friendzone). I have literally seen '(and participated in') men get pushed out from their attempts to woo the girl because they showed weak body-language and bad social skills and no charm. For people that say pua doesnt work, though i cut most of the crap out (like negs, dropping hints to lies, playing mind games), the majority of what they recommend is spot-on- though i have never read and used their stuff, i WAS doing their stuff from things my friends told me, and thinks i was picked up from adapting and moving in the dating world way before the first of those books hit the internet, so when i did read them- there were parts that i shook my head at, and some i nodded in approval.

 

Education and career is important, with women i have dated, they themselves were at such a high level of success that they focused more on what your title is (i never dated gold diggers, so this is what i have experienced from ducking those type of people), not what you make (you can do stinky job A and make 100k, but be a professor or artist and make 36k, and some might prefer the professor as a bf). Now that i am set in my future, the possibility of success just makes women want to have children with me because they see me at a financial level to support a family with them, but i have been forgiven when i worked 12 hours at bestbuy, or when i was straight up unemployed.

 

But, things do change when we get older. Men seen to have the advantage when it comes to dating. The men who had a hard time dating when they were younger, are now in the dating pool and are experiencing being the one sought after. All of a sudden these other traits play a huge part in the selection process, mostly because looks fade and personality doesnt... now we have intelligence, charm, dating and SEXUAL skills (always important actually), humor (my cousin is ugly and he has dated very pretty women- and all he has is confidence and hes funny as hell- humor is golden at a higher age level)- they are looking for a life partner, someone to wake up to for as long as they breath, and personality and attractive traits will stand out- but if you maintain your looks... regardless.. you will still have a greater edge, but its not as strong as when everyone was running on different engines (for some women, they might be cautious at a 50 year old that looks sexy and is still single).

 

My 2 cents...

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Slimpee Contributor

Slimpee

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Speaking of leagues and who has the easier time dating and how much looks matter and blah blah blah, I recently read link removed and think it's absolutely spot-on. I'm currently trying to work on losing some of my long-entrenched boyish tendencies and link removed does a fantastic job encapsulating some of those tendencies. I believe that in order to attract the type of woman with whom I want to end up, I need to be a man. This summer, I met such a woman. I barely talked to her but she carried herself with such confidence and grace, I knew instantly that she was someone special. I also knew instantly that I need to be a man in order to attract someone like her.

 

Speaking of that type of woman, the writer link removed. Spot-on as well, I believe.

 

I bring this up in this post because I believe that a man isn't going to worry about leagues and "game" and any of that. He is confident in who he is, he is not afraid to take risks, he does not let rejection ruin him, and above all, he knows what he wants. That man will be attractive to women...I guarantee it.

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LoveSoDeep Experienced

LoveSoDeep

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I have to agree...Thors may not always be PC but he says the things a many of us are thinking. No one will ever speak for everyone but I do think for many this is true.

 

I think men are also confused about their league though....some guys think good job and owning a house catapults them from being a 4 to being an 8. Listen people you can't change your league with material goods...this includes clothing, and make-up (ladies). But hey as human beings we are attracted to beautiful people so of course everyone wants to date the beautiful people...but don;t we all know that the math just doesn't work...we can't all date 8-10s. Personally I just wish guys were more realistic. I'm realistic... I'm trying to date Calvin Klein underwear models. I'm just saying.

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SA_Guy99 Rookie

SA_Guy99

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If you lose 20 pounds but you went from 240 to 220 it isnt going to make a difference.

 

Actually it does. (That's where I've started myself.) Smaller clothes is the first example... nevermind feeling better.

 

As far as attractiveness goes, in my experiences I've found that how your face looks matters a lot more than your body. Unless you're obese, how your body looks doesn't affect attractiveness nearly as much as your face. Some of us just weren't blessed with an attractive face.

 

2) Cologne. A light touch is all that's needed. Bathing in it is a turn off. Heavy heavy scents are a turn off. And it can be a one shot kill to any women with a hint of allergies.

 

How about none at all? I don't think I'm allergic to such fragrances, but I can't stand them. Same for perfume on women. No thank you! Anti-perspirant so we don't stink is good enough.

 

As for "leagues", that still falls into the "eye of the beholder" category. There are women who my friends say are a 10, but I think are ugly as sin... and vice versa.

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Fushigidane Rookie

Fushigidane

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Easily the simplest way, confidence!

I've dated guys who were "ugly" by stupid societies standards but they had a kind of light eminating from within them. It was even more attractive considering typical standards told them they weren't good looking but they acted like super models.

And as others have said being sucessful in school, or simply educated and knowledgeable about a variety of subjects is very attractive... to me at least.

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