goodheartlady Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Hi all, This is more of a vent than a question. Met a man in his 30's 2 months ago. As soon as we met, he friended me Facebook/Instagram, which I was like "wow, that was fast!" We went on at least 7-8 dates. Saw him last Sunday, and happen to hang out with his family. All was very nice. I had a lot of fun with him - my cheeks hurt from laughing and time seems to fly. We made preliminary plans to hang out this weekend. But he went completely silent over the past week. No communication whatever as opposed to he used to either text/call everyday. But he continue to post random stuff on his Facebook (which he KNOWS I would see). Tonight he posted a photo of a dozen oysters and a girl's arm partially in it. The caption was "great night and a dozen just to start." Okay, this is a new thing now? Where you know you are blowing someone off but you have to rub it in her face on social media? Anyway, I defriended him immediately. Just venting. Thanks for reading. Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 LOL He's casual dating you probably and a an attention w. Don't worry about it. Social Media does not define who you really are. Link to comment
alli Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Good for you. Some people aren't very considerate. Link to comment
JA0371 Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Ugh....Good for you for unfriending him. At least you didn't invest your heart. No doubt he'll do it to miss 'oyster dinner' lol Link to comment
JA0371 Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Ugh....Good for you for unfriending him. At least you didn't invest your heart. No doubt he'll do it to miss 'oyster dinner' lol Maybe he'll also get some 'crabs' with it..lol Link to comment
goodheartlady Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 Instead of that awkward conversation, "sorry I met someone else," I guess it is easier to post stuff on Facebook so he doesn't actually have to say it. I hope he gets some action after paying for all those oysters. Link to comment
amipushy Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Wow, what a jerk! You're well rid. Link to comment
happpybear Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Aw, that sucks, and yes he is cowardly that he couldn't even pick up his cajones and be straight with you especially after that many dates AND meeting his family! It's ok, because he just showed that he is rude, self-absorbed and likely an attention wh*re, so you dodged a bullet I say. I also believe that anyone in their 30's who still use Facebook with alarming regularity and post to-the-minute photo's of the meals/activites that they are just about to partake---are abnormally narcisisstic....IMHO Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 i wouldn't be surprised if he contacts you and is like, "hey - why did you defriend me...?" Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 It's for reasons like this I don't add new people to FB until we are actually dating or decide to be just friends. Also, I just like my privacy and don't want a near stranger seeing what I am doing. The only thing I would suggest you do different is block them, not just unfriend them. This will ensure there are no foolish games to follow. As per what Annie24 mentioned. Link to comment
goodheartlady Posted September 2, 2013 Author Share Posted September 2, 2013 Thank you all for your advice! It is amazing how many 30-something adults can like gaga teenagers when it comes to Facebook/Twitter etc. No one really cares what your last lunch was! Onwards and upwards! Link to comment
annie24 Posted September 2, 2013 Share Posted September 2, 2013 Everyone cares about what i eat!!!! lol. my photos of sushi are popular. haha. good luck! Link to comment
Throwaway999 Posted September 3, 2013 Share Posted September 3, 2013 Ha ha, I had a similar thing. I emailed this girl on OKC because I recognized her from being a friend of a friend on FB. Turns out we knew a ton of the same people, but had somehow never met, even though we tended to frequent some of the same spots and shared a lot of acquaintances. We both agreed that OKC was not for us, and emailed back and forth a bit about all the people we knew in common, so we became friends on FB. I was patient because I figured it was inevitable that we would run into each other in person at some point. We seemed to have a good rapport through email. So anyway, after some time passed and I still hadn't actually met her in person, I sent her a message saying it was weird how we still hadn't run into each other yet, so we should meet at X since we are both probably going to be going there anyway. And... nothing! Didn't even respond! But she didn't unfriend me, and would still "like" my posts on FB, or comment on another friends post that I had commented on. So I'm all like "Well, she must not be interested, then", and then she added me on LinkedIn! Now, I still have yet to actually meet this person, and she blew off my suggestion to meet in real life, but then added me on a different social media network. I don't get it. I didn't unfriend her, either, just out of morbid curiosity more than anything. But it is kind of the opposite of the OPs situation, because she posts all these woe-is-me status updates about how she can't find a boyfriend! She also sent me an event invite to her birthday party (I didn't go), and then complained afterwards how nobody showed up! So, I'm glad I didn't unfriend or hide her, because it has provided some amusement if nothing else. Link to comment
goodheartlady Posted September 3, 2013 Author Share Posted September 3, 2013 Something to keep in mind is that in casual dating, people owe us nothing. All is fair. Link to comment
goodheartlady Posted September 4, 2013 Author Share Posted September 4, 2013 Update on this story. I am a pretty tough skinned person, and purely out of curiosity, I reached out to this guy today. He was apologetic about forgetting our plans. He said that last Wednesday (2 days after we had our last date), he met someone who was amazing. He has never felt this way about anyone (his words). And he posted the photo with her really because I wasn't on his mental radar screen at that point. Oh well. I am actually happy for him. How often do you meet someone who knocks your socks off? Such is life. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 You know, I don't think I would want to even be a facebook friend with some guy I just started dating. Link to comment
chr8st8na Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 I also believe that anyone in their 30's who still use Facebook with alarming regularity and post to-the-minute photo's of the meals/activites that they are just about to partake---are abnormally narcisisstic....IMHO completely agree Link to comment
chr8st8na Posted December 23, 2013 Share Posted December 23, 2013 loll thats so funny Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted December 24, 2013 Share Posted December 24, 2013 Thank you all for your advice! It is amazing how many 30-something adults can like gaga teenagers when it comes to Facebook/Twitter etc. No one really cares what your last lunch was! Onwards and upwards! It doesn't stop at 30 or 40 or 50. Sad but true. Link to comment
person100 Posted December 25, 2013 Share Posted December 25, 2013 Wow. What a jerk! At least he was honest with you. It's not right to just blow someone off after that many dates. After a couple dates..fine...some people "fade out", it still sucks but I can accept it more. After 7-8 dates, it's only common courtesy to give an explanation. You have a very good attitude about this. I would be feeling pretty hurt if this happened to me! Link to comment
goodheartlady Posted December 26, 2013 Author Share Posted December 26, 2013 Hey thanks. When this first happened, I was pretty upset. But at the end of the day, I was thankful that I figured out where I stood with him. He did not care enough - well he just didn't care. I had my answer and needed to move on accordingly. Link to comment
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