If someone tells you they have never kissed....

[Dougie_D]

I'm 32 and I have never "french" kissed a girl. I've done small pop kisses. I've been in a few situations where I "go for it" but I constantly get rejected. And the girl is drunk!!!!

 

So, I have 2 questions:

 

1. What are reasons why a girl would allow a pop kiss, cheek kiss, etc...but NO tongue? I always make sure I have mints or gum around, and I gargle Listorine like its water.

 

2. When I tell a girl I'm a virgin, I also explain to them I've never kissed. Did I screw up my chance after she knows that?

[annie24]

I probably wouldn't tell them you e never been kissed or a Virginia before you kiss them. It might be overwhelming.

[Fudgie]

1) Stop telling them that you're a virgin/inexperienced. It's not a bad thing within itself but telling a girl within an hour of meeting her is TMI and reeks of insecurity because you yourself are insecure over this.

 

2) there's a variety of reasons why someone may not french kiss. Some people find it gross. Some may not want to because it's too intimate off the bat. Some may not do it with just every man they kiss, maybe there's a criteria. Or maybe they aren't that attracted to you. No clue. Hard to say.

[blueidealist24]

I think they wouldn't allow the tongue if they were only a bit attracted to you, but not totally, or they want to hold off things so they don't go any further. Occasionally I worry if I start making out with a guy, they'll assume we're going to have sex, and I'll have to somehow awkwardly stop it (I'm a virgin). Usually though I will end up doing the tongue if they try.. even if I don't really want to.. just because.. why not, really?

 

I wouldn't tell the girls you are a virgin, and I definitely wouldn't tell them you've never kissed anyone. The virgin thing I can see because sex is a big deal but kissing really isn't a big deal so you don't need to disclose anything about that.

 

Btw, did you tell the last couple of girls that you had never kissed anyone before kissing them? That might explain why they wouldn't do tongue, as they might have thought you didn't know how to do it/would be bad.

[skygreen1111]

Pop and cheek kisses can just be fun and friendly. A french kiss requires building some sexual chemistry first. Definitely don't tell them you've never kissed anyone... they will start to wonder what is wrong with you and it also puts a lot of pressure on them suddenly.

 

Edit: Didn't mean to imply there is something wrong with you, but its a natural thing to wonder why somebody at 32 has never kissed someone....

[potd2009]

1 - (other than bad breath, which it sounds like you're avoiding), not being sure how attracted you are to the guy.

 

2 - absolutely, yes. Definitely a huge buzzkill. Saying that you've never (french) kissed is honestly saying that no one in all this time has wanted to kiss you deeply, passionately, intimately. It makes you sound like damaged goods, and it's completely unnecessary information. Women like men with confidence and experience, and many women like to know that other women also find desirable the men they find attractive. The moment you say, "I'm a virgin and I've never kissed," it takes all that away in an instant...and honestly for no good reason, particularly if you're not asked.

[Dougie_D]

Btw, did you tell the last couple of girls that you had never kissed anyone before kissing them? That might explain why they wouldn't do tongue, as they might have thought you didn't know how to do it/would be bad.

 

If I'm in a group setting, that's when I tell people...especially if the topic comes up. So that's BEFORE. Especially if one of my guy friends thinks that a girl will give "practice" or pointers.. So they will nag the girl on.

 

Girls that I ended up trying to kiss or go out on a date with is always AFTER. Most likely in a text. Saying something like "hey, if it was weird for you though other day, it's because I'm a virgin/never kissed. " I basically tell them why I wasn't aggressive in making a move or why I felt awkward doing it.

[potd2009]

I don't see a point in that either. You're saying these women are rejecting you, right? So you don't need to explain yourself to them afterwards. If you're hoping that they'll suddenly become more understanding and give you a second chance because you're a virgin/have never kissed, I think that's incredibly unlikely.

[Fudgie]

You're being a total awkward penguin over this.

 

What do you mean "when the topic comes up?" are people hanging out and then just start going on about how many people they've screwed. STOP TELLING THEM. it's none of their business and you're insecure about it anyway so that will come accross and be unattractive.

 

You either need to stop offering up this info when the topic comes up, definitely stop texting it to them afterwards. Seriously, I read that message and I thought "buzzkill". It's bad when girls do it too.

 

If you can't stop yourself from saying it when the topic comes up, you need to steer away from group settings and try to go one on one.

[Klokwurk]

If I'm in a group setting, that's when I tell people...especially if the topic comes up. So that's BEFORE. Especially if one of my guy friends thinks that a girl will give "practice" or pointers.. So they will nag the girl on.

 

Girls that I ended up trying to kiss or go out on a date with is always AFTER. Most likely in a text. Saying something like "hey, if it was weird for you though other day, it's because I'm a virgin/never kissed. " I basically tell them why I wasn't aggressive in making a move or why I felt awkward doing it.

 

Complete failure strategy.

 

New strategy, if you actually want to get a kiss:

 

Never mention it again, you don't know how to bring it up/it is pointless information.

[Klokwurk]

I'm 32 and I have never "french" kissed a girl. I've done small pop kisses. I've been in a few situations where I "go for it" but I constantly get rejected. And the girl is drunk!!!!

 

So, I have 2 questions:

 

1. What are reasons why a girl would allow a pop kiss, cheek kiss, etc...but NO tongue? I always make sure I have mints or gum around, and I gargle Listorine like its water.

 

2. When I tell a girl I'm a virgin, I also explain to them I've never kissed. Did I screw up my chance after she knows that?

 

1. She is not attracted to you/you are not natural enough.

 

2. Maybe? It is totally frikkin weird either way.

[abitbroken]

Dougie, I thought there was that girl you met and she kissed you and made out with you a little when your friend was in the room? Or does that not count now as a kiss? It was a little strange that your friend was there, but I remember you saying it.

 

have you gotten that whole situation where your parents are paying all your bills straightened out?? Once you get that situation straightened out, you will feel better about yourself and have access to more confident women.

 

You can't go through life just hoping to find a girl that will kiss you and make out with you. You should be looking to make your self relationship material.

 

My boyfriend didn't have much experience but i didn't care - his other good qualities were key and it was attractive that he didn't spend his life dwelling on it.

[abitbroken]

to answer your other question about tongue - i would never tongue kiss unless i was in a relationship or seriously dating someone. its not that i don't or won't do it. other women may be different. Are you just looking for women who will kiss youjust to get it under your belt??

[HeatherB]

If someone told me that, it'd come accross as an appeal for help. Like I was supposed to feel sorry for him and want to kiss him to help him out. Which would turn me off quite a bit.

 

By the time you get know a girl well enough for it to be appropriate to tell her you've never really kissed, you ought to know her well enough to be kissing her quite actively. Kiss first, then talk about it after. But get to know her pretty well before even that.

[Dougie_D]

Dougie, I thought there was that girl you met and she kissed you and made out with you a little when your friend was in the room? Or does that not count now as a kiss? It was a little strange that your friend was there, but I remember you saying it.

 

I went for the tongue multiple times! But she kept backing off and said, "let's just try with the lips"... and then she made her power move towards my friend. That was my first "lip kiss"

 

have you gotten that whole situation where your parents are paying all your bills straightened out?? Once you get that situation straightened out, you will feel better about yourself and have access to more confident women.

 

Nope and I'm highly disappointed. I do grunt work for a guy that pays me 150 a month. And I put in a lot of time. I had an interview for a cool entry level job in the music field but they never called me or email me back. I even sent out an email and called and left a message..still nothing. I keep on sending my resumes to jobs constantly as well as basic retail jobs. Nothing. And honestly, my confidence level wouldn't change UNLESS I get more of a career job. Not a retail job, because that would have defeated the whole purpose of me quiting my old job in the first place.

 

to answer your other question about tongue - i would never tongue kiss unless i was in a relationship or seriously dating someone. its not that i don't or won't do it. other women may be different. Are you just looking for women who will kiss youjust to get it under your belt??

 

As of right now, YES.

[blueidealist24]

 

Nope and I'm highly disappointed. I do grunt work for a guy that pays me 150 a month. And I put in a lot of time. I had an interview for a cool entry level job in the music field but they never called me or email me back. I even sent out an email and called and left a message..still nothing. I keep on sending my resumes to jobs constantly as well as basic retail jobs. Nothing. And honestly, my confidence level wouldn't change UNLESS I get more of a career job. Not a retail job, because that would have defeated the whole purpose of me quiting my old job in the first place.

 

Congrats on getting an interview, anyway. That's a step in the right direction. What kind of "grunt work" are you doing? Are you still at that internship?

[Dougie_D]

Congrats on getting an interview, anyway. That's a step in the right direction. What kind of "grunt work" are you doing? Are you still at that internship?

 

No. That internship was years ago. The grunt work is the same as it ever has. You can't make money if not a lot of money is coming in. I'm trying to get connected with the "big boys" because they can provide salary. And the job that I interviewed for was actually mis-leading but I would have taken it if I got hired

[tiredofvampires]

So you just want to get that kind of kiss done.

 

Does it matter to you whether she's drunk (not really in control or fully aware of what she's doing) or sober (fully aware and making the active choice) when it happens?

[Dougie_D]

So you just want to get that kind of kiss done.

 

Does it matter to you whether she's drunk (not really in control or fully aware of what she's doing) or sober (fully aware and making the active choice) when it happens?

 

No. It doesn't matter. As long as it wasn't paid for I don't care. Also, she has to be willing. If she's drunk, I'm not going to "force" it. If we start kissing and she is comfortable with me, I'll go for the tongue.

 

Most likely I'll have a better chance if a girl has had a few drinks.

 

Oh, she can't be rude to me if she's will to teach me either.

[jonny15]

Pop and cheek kisses can just be fun and friendly.

 

Since when are those types of kisses friendly?

 

Sure, a kiss on the cheek is friendly if it's from your grandma. But if it's from some other chick, it doesn't sound too friendly.

 

Tho i've never had any type of kiss. But it would seem to say they are attracted to you.

[agent1607307371]

 

Tho i've never had any type of kiss. But it would seem to say they are attracted to you.

 

Nope. I completely disagree. Cheek kisses are nothing.

[jonny15]

First....To the OP... Never tell a woman you've never kissed. Unless of course they ask, after you've kissed them.

 

Nope. I completely disagree. Cheek kisses are nothing.

 

If I had a woman kiss me on the cheek, I would assume she was attracted to me, since she did put her lips on me.

 

That is how I would interpet that.

 

I don't know why someone would do that otherwise.

[abitbroken]

So, you are looking for drunk women who will throw themselves at you?

 

I still would try to meet respectable women who want to find someone to date. You might not, and probably will not meet her in a bar. She is more likely to want to kiss you after a few dates. Or accept a kiss. And heaven forbid you should take a retail job for awhile to put some money in your pocket so you can afford to go out on dates. You won't find any woman who will date a guy where she has to pay for every single date. She at least wants a guy to treat for the initial date he asked her out to unless she did the asking, and at least offer to split the bill when they get to know eachother, even if she insists on paying.

[agent1607307371]

First....To the OP... Never tell a woman you've never kissed. Unless of course they ask, after you've kissed them.

 

 

 

If I had a woman kiss me on the cheek, I would assume she was attracted to me, since she did put her lips on me.

 

That is how I would interpet that.

 

I don't know why someone would do that otherwise.

 

Have you ever been to Europe? A kiss can absolutely just be social with nothing else attached.

[superfan]

I think your approach to this is all wrong. First of all, a woman's state of inebriation is nothing to feel proud of. You think it's better if 'a girl's had a couple of drinks'? So you want her to be in a state where she is not 100% able to make decisions with a rational mind? Is that really the only way you feel you will get a girl to kiss you?

 

Here's a fact: A nice guy does NOT take advantage of a woman when she is drunk. And yes, if she wouldn't kiss you sober but would kiss you drunk, that IS taking advantage. Don't be that guy.

 

Second, you want to know why a woman would opt for a kiss on the cheek or lips without tongue? In plain language - because she is just not that into you. Sorry, but that's the facts.

 

And never, ever, ever "volunteer" the information "when it comes up" (and trust me, unless you engineer the conversation that way, it never just 'comes up') and tell women that you have never kissed a girl or had sex in the hopes that they will "take pity" and teach you. That is beyond sad and women can see that. Your buddies don't have a clue what they are talking about if they think that is a valid strategy for getting a girl to kiss you. And why would you WANT to be kissed under those circumstances???? I would see that as beyond insulting if the only way a girl would kiss you was if she felt sorry for you.

 

Women are attracted to confidence, not desperation (and not arrogance which often gets mistaken for confidence). If you act as if you care only about getting to know the girl and further the attraction (if there is one) and not "getting that first kiss" then it WILL happen.

 

Finally, there is NOTHING wrong or shameful in taking a retail job to pay the bills. My husband was unemployed for 8 months when he moved to Canada and though he applied for EVERYTHING in his career field, he also applied for the "McJobs" serving food and flipping burgers as well in order to supplement that. If you are waiting for that perfect job to come along in this economy you are going to be waiting a long time. Do NOT let that hamper your self confidence. Most women don't care where you work, but they do care if you are employed and can support yourself.