I'm interested in hearing stories of how people got together

[sonicfan287]

It just seems to happen too often around me (people I know getting into relationships, sometimes with other people I know closely) and yet I'm either oblivious to it or its just a simple matter of, I wasn't around for it to happen. Hell, my 2 last girlfriends left me for other guys, so I was DIRECTLY involved in those cases, so I know how their relationship started (unfortunately with me getting dumped) but often Ive known couples who've been together for years or friends who were single for a while and then found someone in our time apart, and basically, I never know how it started... even though I've had 2 relationships but mine are kind of weird cases.

 

My first one was a close friend who (and I hate to say this but I think it's true) felt bad for me because I had no luck finding someone and she said she had developed feelings for me so we went out a few times and became boyfriend/girlfriend) but it was a turbulent relationship. It would go well for a while and then she'd say she actually never had feelings for me and was just hoping they WOULD develop from dating me and they didn't, but then when we'd "break up" (for a day or two) she'd go back on that statement and say she was just angry at me that time so she didn't mean that and we'd get back together and then finally, she met the guy she left me for and made it clear pretty much that she didn't what love was when she met me (bc we were both young, only 16) and when she met this new guy, she felt something "new" and that made her want to be with him...

 

Pretty much the same for my 2nd gf, except we weren't friends before, but a mutual friend fixed us up and she actually DID have feelings for me (from what I can gather anyway) but we had our own separate issues and after 2+ years, she broke up with me, claiming it was nothing personal and that there wasnt anyone else in the picture (bc she knew about my past with being dumped for another guy) and then the next week, had someone who was her "soulmate" (yeah, i may have been on her fb, but this guy she ended up with was a 'friend' that she had been seeing a lot before our breakup)

 

Anyway... I basically wonder how these relationships get started other than fix ups or a friend feeling "bad" for you. So, I'd love some insight from anyone on this board (guy or girl) about how they met their significant other (through a friend, at a bar/club, long time friend etc.) because I just feel so overwhelmed by this right now... I've been single now about a year and I know thats not along time but looking towards the future, I don't see that changing... I'm in contact with plenty of women but most of them have boyfriends (or so they say, maybe to push me off even though I'm hardly aggressive) and I'm not really keen on going to bars/clubs. I've been and Ive talked to women and gotten fairly far tbh, but never to the point where I thought they were going to be a long term girlfriend... mainly because all they want to do is keep drinking and smoking weed, which I don't do either (I drink casually but thats about it, never enough to get me drunk)

 

I know this has been a long winded post (maybe this is why I don't meet anyone lol) but I'd appreciate hearing some stories on how people met, may cheer us all up for a change =)

[brittney87]

I met my wife online. I wasn't really looking for anything other than someone to talk to. We lived only a few minutes apart. We talked online and texted constantly for 6 months. Met up one day, then continued talking online for a few more months but didn't hang out. Then one night we hung out and started "dating", and we've now been together almost 6 years, married almost 2.

[Seraphim]

We met at University. In a course on British social history. We've been together ever since .

[MizzGee]

I met my boyfriend at a party. He walked up to me and introduced himself, I liked that he was very proactive about it

[BrianH46]

I met my girlfriend in our organic chemistry lab together at my University. I got her number under the guise of having a way to communicate about our lab results, kinda blossomed from there.

[sonicfan287]

I met my wife online. I wasn't really looking for anything other than someone to talk to. We lived only a few minutes apart. We talked online and texted constantly for 6 months. Met up one day, then continued talking online for a few more months but didn't hang out. Then one night we hung out and started "dating", and we've now been together almost 6 years, married almost 2.

 

Nice! Good to know its possible to meet someone worthwhile through online dating, and in general, it seems people have met others in a variety of ways and settings.

[poetryandlyrics]

I met my SO at a music festival. I wasn't expecting any guys to meet -- or, well, didn't want to.

Funny thing is that he says he tried to talk to me, and I just finally remembered what must have happened. A couple of guys did try to talk to me, but as I'm hard of hearing, and it was loud in there, I had to tap on my friend to interpret for me (she's an interpreter too), and I guess he thought I was ignoring him when I turned away from him to look for my friend to help me to understand what he was talking about. Ah well.

 

Met him again because something happened to that friend that I needed to go find her (long story), and I saw him, without recollection of when I actually first saw him (my memory is horrible anyway), with a friendly face on and a smile, so I walked up to him and asked for help. He helped me out. Never crossed my mind that he found me attractive or anything. Traded numbers anyway because he was nice to help me out.

 

Texted, ended up liking him for who he was. Nice, intelligent, funny. Yada, yada. Three years and counting now.

[Leftright]

I'm single now, but my last girlfriend I met online dating, and before that, I met my previous girlfriend when I was 15 and she was 13 while swimming at a local pool, and ran into her again when we were much older and we hit it off and dated for 8 months (my longest relationship). Now I'm hoping for a future story to tell, even if it seems unlikely at my age, being single for as long as I have (10 years now). I'm hoping to meet someone soon.

 

-LR

[sonicfan287]

Hey, LR

 

Im sorry to hear of your struggles but youll definitely meet someone. Its not as unlikely as you think, so hang in there

[Sirenia]

This is something I think about every time and I have asked almost every person I've met in the last year or so how they met their significant other.. mostly those I've asked are girlfriends but there have been guys too who told me the long and drawn out story of how they met their current partner or their ex.

 

The usual school/university/work or friends/family or bars or online are the most popular but there have been some very surprising ones too (that make me think that it can happen in real life too and not just in Hollywood romcoms) and maybe one day can happen for me (or you) too.

 

I've heard 2 stories based around train stations

1 met on a plane (they were sitting next to each other)

1 randomly when they were both attending a charity event

1 in a hotel lobby

1 in a hospital

various through networking events/conferences etc

 

there are more but I can't remember them all right now...

 

personally, I have had guys pick me up in public in uncommon places or strange circumstances... I was kind of freaked out or not attracted enough to do anything but who knows what would've happened if I had?

 

read this

link removed

[Kaytie]

link removed is where I met my partner. The one prior to that I met at a bar! That was a 12 year relationship.

[Leftright]

Hey, LR

 

Im sorry to hear of your struggles but youll definitely meet someone. Its not as unlikely as you think, so hang in there

 

Thanks sonic,

 

Your encouragement helps, i hope all of us here on ENA meet someone some day or at least learn to lead happy and productive live by ourselves.

[sonicfan287]

In the meantime, I hope it helps to know that we are "not alone". Also, Kaytie, is link removed really legit? Ive had a bad history with those kind of websites but I guess it can work out on occasion

[Jetta]

1st husband - We met at work.

 

2nd husband - We met at a bar, a bunch of friends were getting together. My best friend told me about this guy she wanted to set up with Sarah I'll call her and Sarah and I ended up sitting at the same table when I'll say Mark arrived. So I had a few drinks in me and was very social, trying to get them together I said Hey Mark have a seat, how are you blah blah blah. He really liked me, got my number from my best friend, called me a few days later and the rest is history.

 

Sidenote: Sarah was not happy she really had a crush on him, but he said he was never interested in her and it pays to be social, she refused to talk to him even when I tried to incorporate her in the conversation, Sarah and I have never really been friends, just part of the same social circle. Anyway she's married now with about 5 kids, and I'm divorced.

[Kaytie]

In the meantime, I hope it helps to know that we are "not alone". Also, Kaytie, is link removed really legit? Ive had a bad history with those kind of websites but I guess it can work out on occasion

 

It's not online dating - it's just a variety of social groups you can join and meet new people. You can join groups based on your interests (sports, music, etc.). So I initially joined it to just meet new friends after my break up and then nearly a year later I ended up meeting my now gf. It was great for expanding my social circle.

[mhowe]

Introduced by mutual friend as we were leaving bar....I thought "hmmm". Found out he was newly in relationship....which would last 4 yrs...he started renting my barn for his carpenter shop during that time. Friends.

 

Six years later, out at same place w/ two different groups. He asked for ride home, as his group not ready to go. Drove him home. Asked me in.

Went in for drink....and a kiss. That was 4 yrs ago.

[Sportster2005]

I met my wife(ex) at a bar. She was sitting with a friend. Before I could stop him my very drunken friend went over and started hitting on them. I mean really drunk. So I went over to rescue them from my friend. Started chatting, asked her out and the rest was history.

 

To this day we joke it's the perfect wing man setup.

 

Met my last sort of LTR at an open air music concert. We are both photographers. Out of my periphery I saw a large lens. I turned and she was there. I ignored her at first. Just didn't feel like socializing(long story). But despite my repeated attempts to ignore her she started talking photography. And then by the end of the night I was in love. Not really, but you know what I mean.

[quirky]

So many times here you see posts like 'you can't meet anyone decent at a bar' yet quite a few have said they met at a bar !

 

I met 1 bf on holidays, 2 at Uni and 2 at work. Other dates I've met was a friend's roomate, on an intellectual discussion debate, at a second hand shop, a customer where I work.

 

I think one must be creative and look at less common avenues like online. I bet you can start up a conversation at the supermarket. I could do it if I am on form. Ask 'have you used this product before? What can I cook it with' Maybe on the bus too, talk to someone you like.

[zztoppoochie90]

1. At a party.

 

2. Twitter.

 

3. Twitter.

 

4. Facebook...but it was number 2 again so technically Twitter.

 

5. You tell me! I'll be excited to find out.

[Slimpee]

One of my best buddies met his wife at a bar...they met as he started grinding on her

 

Another friend met his wife on Plenty of Fish

 

A third buddy and his wife were setup by their mothers

 

A fourth met his after he went back to school to be a pastor

 

Highschool sweethearts

 

Mutual friend hangout

 

College

 

You can meet literally anywhere!

[NorthDallas40]

Quick rundown of my last few relationships, working backwards from the present:

 

- Whitney: met on OKCupid, dated for 5 weeks, I called it off due to not being over my ex.

 

- Kate: met on OKCupid, had a yearlong relationship & lived together, she dumped me.

 

- Carol: met on link removed, had a 1.5 year relationship & lived together, I dumped her.

 

- Julia: met on Facebook, ran into each other IRL, had 1 date, then ran into each other a few months later and dated for a month, I called it off to be with Carol.

 

- Margaret: met at a club because we had mutual friends, she messaged me on IM, we dated for a about six weeks until she had to go back to England

 

- Maria: I met her at an afterparty when I was on another coast, we kept in touch, visited each other, had an on/off LDR for about a year, I ended up moving to her coast and having an on/off relationship for another year until she dumped me for good.

 

Those are the major relationships I had after being divorced out of a 11-year marriage 6 years ago. In between there were some ONS's and 1- or 2-date instances that came about from OKC, Facebook, mutual friends, and meeting at a bar or club.

 

Online dating seems to be working the best for me now that I'm a little old for the bar/club scene, but I look fairly young and have a decent social life, so dating sites aren't my only way of meeting people. Either way, it's tough!