why do men prefer brainless beauties more than brainy gals ?

[sunehaa]

this is a welknown fact that good looks of a gal does matter to all guys, no matter even if that beauty is bit stupid ...but why so ? r they afraid of tackeling intelligent girls ? why r they hasitant in going out with an ordinary looking gal ? in the bewildering situations of practical life ...does a goodlooking gf helps more than an intelligent female friend?

hey buddy ,plzz ....help me out in clarifying these doubts...

[sweetharmony]

I don't think that's the case. I think many men are looking for brainy girls. In fact, a lot of the men I know. Unfortunately, you or your friends are hanging out with the wrong men. Join an art, book, or literary club, go to independent film society's. Join groups that bring together intelligent people. Trust me they're out there. Of course, men must be atracted to the woman as well. But most of the men I know aren't really dating beautfiul girls- girls that they can have conversations with and really enjoy spending time with. Keep hope. Yes, there are a lot of men that don't care about brains, but there are other men out there. there are all kinds of men out there.

[MarkUK]

I answered something similar the other week, in regard to whether men and women can be "just good friends" - third post down - but is very appropriate to this topic.

 

link removed

 

The gist is that a woman with model looks might have a short-term advantage, but long-term it is brains and personality, which hold a relationship together.

 

The sad fact of today's media induced society, and I think this applies to both sexes, is that we are too eager to dismiss others merely based on looks.

[Laura Ashley]

isn't that abit insulting? I mean it feels like your saying "Join a club where the brainy peoples go because stupid ones aren't allowed!" Its sounds a bit discriminating to me.

 

Some people have a reason for why they aren't as intelligant as they should be.

[Beec]

isn't that abit insulting? I ean it feels like your saying "Join a club where the brainy peoples go because stupid ones aren't allowed!" Its sounds a bit discriminating to me.

 

Some people have a reason for why they aren't as intelligant as they should be.

 

It didn't sound that way to me. It sounded just like she expects smarter people to be at some places in larger percentages. Did not sound like others would not be allowed.

 

If you want to find a woman or man that is more athletic, wouldn't you go where the athletes hang out. A local gym or even a basketball court in the park doesn't say "no dorks or uncoordinated people allowed". If you want to meet people that are more artistic, the gym may not be a good spot.

 

Personally: 1. I don't like the word smart, what does it mean. Does it mean intelligent, which is really about how fast you learn and not waht or how much you know. Does it mean knowledgeable, which may have nothing to do with your intelligence. Or does it mean wisdom, which woulod indicate an ability ot use what you know and learn. AND

 

2. I like intelligent, knowledgeable women with some wisdom. Women who don't think much won't be around me much.

 

The people there may discourage

[Day_Walker]

You are asking a question that has greater implications than answer you were looking for. Attraction does play an important part in determining if a person is interested in another person. There are guys out there who want and will only date intelligent women and there are guys who dont want to date intelligent women. There are many variables when determining attractiveness and of course you can make gernalizations but that doesnt mean that they are correct. If you want to meet men that would be more likely to appreciate an intelligent female then you should modify your dating/searching habits to find those guys instead of meeting the guys that prefer them to be atrractive and dumb.

[OceanEyes]

Personally: 1. I don't like the word smart, what does it mean. Does it mean intelligent, which is really about how fast you learn and not waht or how much you know. Does it mean knowledgeable, which may have nothing to do with your intelligence. Or does it mean wisdom, which woulod indicate an ability ot use what you know and learn.

 

This is very insightful Beec, I've thought this myself before. The word "smart" can be as subjective as the word "normal": is there really a solid and absolute definition of either? Probably not - it's mainly a society that has a view formed of what the word means which we are all expected to follow.

 

There are definitely many types of intelligence: memory capability, common sense (this is a big one), perception and judgement, intuition, resourcefulness, street-smart, etc. I don't think any types of intelligence are entirely possible without a good memory.

 

Laura Ashley - I don't think that Sunehaa meant to be insulting at all. She's stating that from her own personal experience, men she knows have always seemed to date women who either play dumb, or are not very intelligent.

 

I wouldn't want to date the type of guy who didn't like the fact that I'm educated and intellectual. It wouldn't really seem like he was up for a challenge at all.

[DestructoBoy]

"Ordinary looking" women? I prefer brains and good sense over drop dead looks. Myself, I prefer the "girl next door" look.

 

It is a must that the woman I date is of average intelligence. I can't stand girls that have no clue about anything other than what US magazine is saying about Ashton Kutcher or what Angelina Jolie is wearing to a party. Any gal that spends her time watching Hollywood Insider is out the door!!

 

I've dated a lot of beautiful women with a very diverse range of IQ's.

Give me the "average" looking girl with smarts any day.

 

Please understand that I hate to categorize women as "ordinary" or "average" All women are beautiful..........it's what's inside and the brains that really matter.

 

(Of course I need to be somewhat attracted, but my mother instilled the above qualities in me since I was knee high...respect all women and see the beauty that's inside rather the surface.)

 

On another note, I do agree with Beec and OceanEyes about the wisdom and numerous levels of intelligence.............

[ComputerGuy]

Well apparently I have different tastes in women to most because most of my friends disagree with who I find attractive. So beauty is a very subjective issue.

 

Also, I know for one that I dont want to date some brain dead girl...I'd MUCH rather have an intelligent girl who I could talk to. Not all guys are the same, and no matter what category you think you fit into, there will be a guy somewhere who thinks you're attractive.

[Beec]

OK, another comment.

 

Interests are probably key to this topic.

 

I have a friend, a guy, who is pretty intelligent. He got an engineering degree from a really good college, then within two weeks after getting it, opened a garage to fix cars. He's been doing that since. If you just met him in a casual way, you might not know that he has the intelligence he has. Why? Because his interests are relatively simple. He runs his business, fishes and hangs out at the local fire department. He's not reading literature, technical manuals or about world affairs. Which leads me to the point on interests.

 

If you want the guys who have brains and who want women that have them, have some interests in common with them. If you are a woman who loves the ballet, that's all fine and good, but you won't meet many guys at one. If you show up at a golf course but don't like golf, you might meet the guys, but they'll see that you don't like golf and will wonder what to talk to you about. Find something you might be interested in that more guys than women are interested in, and your chances of finding a guy who likes you because of how you think climb.

 

There are three levels that we need to have things in common with our partners. We need to have some shared interests. We need to have shared values. And we need to see each other in the same roles in the relationship. If you guy has to always open doors for his women, then think about what that says about his role and yours.

[Lily04]

why not both? hehe. I read somewhere that higher intelligence also corresponds to better looks..or it could have just been off a message board somewhere =) In any case, I used to model and was my class valedictorian, and I have to say that it is not exactly the best combination. Guys are intimidated, although I have a feeling it is a lot more to do with intelligence. Articulate girls tend to intimidate guys a lot. So my solution is to look for college debators/pre-law students..they're ambitious, intelligent (not always good-looking) but have a pretty good personality. You just have to know where to look..if you're the brainy type, your type of guy most likely won't be the club hopper..just get involved with activities that cater to your interests/abilities and you'll most likely find like-minded people who are personally compatible with you.

 

Good luck. And don't lose hope!

 

Lily04

[shademan]

A weakness in the pathetic human race , we are affected by appearances by nature that goes to insects , fire , cars and females and sadly the males just want to get laid so they prefer dolls with no brains not all but most of them , and i am sad to admit i am one of them eventually we hate that in the end and if you can cahnge yourself .. well respect to you .

[sweetharmony]

Sorry if my post came accross as snooty, I didn't intend for it to. There are so many types of intelligence, you cannot categorize a single person as intelligent or not intelligent. Emotional intelligence, according to the magazine utne, is the most signifcant indicator on how well one will succeed in life- now what is success, you ask? who knows? to some, it's money, to others, i't s creating art or a family or being an olympic gold medalist- so what are they talking about- you cannot measure intelligence or success- it's all relative. Humans are so complex. Even the not so brightest individuals (one wiht small IQs) can have incredible qualities such as creativity, street smarts, common sense, a good heart, philanthropic, varied interests, athletic abilities (sorry if I'm reiterating what someone said earlier, I'm just agreeing). There's no smart or not so smart people. For me, I enjoy people who can think for themselves and have an opinion on issues. As long as they can carry a conversation, they are great! don't even agree with me! just have an opinion and not someone elses. to me, as long as someoone is a good person, their IQ does not mean much.

[Emotional]

Take Jessi Simpson for instance...She appears pretty BrAiN dEaD , yet if you have ever watched her show she does sometimes make points and seems somewhat Intelligent...Nick cheated , I think its because she was just not smart enoguht!

 

Im a preson thats a fond believer that the beati is on the outside and the inside..The guy or giirl Has to be appealing to the eye , yet needs to spark some kind of interest too...There is a difference between Dumb and just A little Air head... I personally love hangin gout with airy kinda people because you can get some laughs at the same time they can know more than you sometimes!

 

Guys have all diff opinions on this because Guys are all different and have their own taste in Women...

[mist999]

look hun

today i realized something i've been always dating girls with 0 iq

now im with someone with a good head on her shoulders and its the first time i feel love.

i believe its mostly a matter of maturity and what the guy wants the girl for.

if its for fun then we shall have 0iq and if a want love i need someone with a brain

[sunehaa]

isn't that abit insulting? I mean it feels like your saying "Join a club where the brainy peoples go because stupid ones aren't allowed!" Its sounds a bit discriminating to me.

 

Some people have a reason for why they aren't as intelligant as they should be.

 

hello friends,

 

thanks for all ur replies.

 

hey Laura Ashley , u might have misread my post...i m not discriminating among brainy n stupid females dear.

 

every individual does possess the brain. the terms 'Brainy' n 'Stupid' only implies to the relative extent , up to which we use our brain ie. intelligence .

 

now coming to my topic...

what i want is ...recognition n appreciation of one's personality , knowledge n intellect should matter more than just the outer 'looks'.

i want the same in my case ...but the biased attitude of the guys around me has disappointed me !

 

hence i've put up this issue for discussion ...to find everyone's view on this in general.

 

replies r quite encouraging so far...it shows, to some men the grey matters of a gal does matter , more than how she looks like.

 

thank u

Sunehaa

[drahcir]

"Intelligence" is a rather relative thing. One person maybe really smart at one thing and dull at another. Even retarded people tend to be very smart in some areas. So it may be incorrect to say anyone is "smart," because everyone is smart, but in a different way.

 

Anyway, neither beauty nor intelligence (or lack there of in areas i consider to be a measurement of smartness) is a factor in whether i want to date a girl or be her friend. I know some girls who aren't bright, but if they are caring, thats all that matters. Also, every girl is beautiful in her own way. Beauty, like intelligence, is relative, and depends on the person measure it

[ShySoul]

Personality, intellect and heart are the things I look for in a girl. They are the qualities that will tell me if I really connect with someone.I find that if those qualities are present and I come to respect the girl for who she is inside, then I'll be more likely to find them physically attractive. Problem is most people don't think like that. So much emphasis in our culture is placed on appearance and physical beauty. But looks are so subjective. What one person likes in the way of looks another person will not find that attractive. Really, what exactly is "hot" or "sexy." And someone could be the sexiest person alive, but unless they have a nice personality, why would you want to go out with him or her?

[OceanEyes]

"Intelligence" is a rather relative thing. One person maybe really smart at one thing and dull at another. Even retarded people tend to be very smart in some areas. So it may be incorrect to say anyone is "smart," because everyone is smart, but in a different way.

 

Very true! I've always been mathematically challenged, but have always had a knack for english, geography, and science.

 

I don't think that I could, or would, ever date a guy who couldn't carry on a conversation about anything other than trivial topics. It's really important for me to be challenged intellectually - all the time. Intelligence is more important than looks if you ask me!

[ComputerGuy]

Im the opposite...I suck big time at english, but I've always been good at Maths, physics, computing, anything technical......give me something analytical and I'm screwed

[Cindy]

If the men you associate with all prefer beauty over brains, you're clearly not mixing with the right circles. The other posters are right about going to literary events, cultural activities, etc. -- you're much more likely to find some worthwhile men at those events, mainly because such places generally don't attract meat heads. There are also Web sites like link removed that bring together brainy people. If you look hard enough, opportunities to find good men are out there.

[Carl5000]

Well, looks are concrete, usually everyone has a similar idea if someone is aesthetically wonderful) yet intelligence is really subjective. I've got quite a low IQ, yet i know i can certainly come accross as being reasonably intellgent, if a girl wants to go down that route. I won't be able to discuss Einstein's Relativity and the Quantum Revolution, yet i can hold my own on matters concerning history, politics, philosophy even some art, literature purely from independent reading.

 

Even, the attractive celebrities without many brain cells between them aka spears, lohan, jordon, hilton could impress the public ~ if they started reading up on a few intellectual areas. Beyond appearance and intelligence i'm more inclined to go towards the modest, down to earth personality type. Really strikingly beautiful or super smart ladies usually become arrogant or seriously egotistical, which is natural, but you can't deny its a turn off. If you want some action, go for the hot girl. A long term relationship then obviously somebody whose around ur brain capacity.

 

Definitely intelligence over appearance, those celebrities i named seem seriously retarded. So, overly obsessed with fashion and looking good, yet they spurn out such boring bs. Oh, do u like my new haircut? i'm dating a new greek billionaire, he's certainly the one, its LOVE!! next week their onto the next bloke lol. The worrying thing is ppl buy this s**t its scarey. Maybe, i aint so stupid after all xD

[Carl5000]

An old psychology lecturer told us how most ppl believe they've got an 'above average intellect' even though it goes against logic. It appears in many areas leadership, social skills, knowledge or any particular area of interest. I guess being conscious makes alot of us egocentric)

 

I bet if everyone whose posted in this topic, gave an honest answer. They'd admit to thinking of themselves as being smart. Only a small minority would even consider themselves as being 'stupid or of low intellect'. I guess, its all good for self-esteem and happiness ~ i cherish my denial of low IQ eheh. I think its called 'a transevalution of values'

[Batya33]

The men I have dated - and most of the men I know, prefer women who are sharp and witty - looks do matter but attraction is very subjective.

[CaptainPlanet]

I don't prefer brainless beauties but it impossible to tell how intelligent a girl is unless you spend a significant amount of time with her. You simply cannot measure intelligence based on a few brief meetings.

 

And there is a difference between in intelligence and interests. Just because you are interested in literature, drink whine and learn to speak french doesn't = intelligent.