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MarkUK

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  1. At 17 it is perfectly normal. As you'll get older, thing like: paying bills; money woes; family problems; and biological clocks(!) etc, all start plaguing your mind instead! So enjoy this while you can If you are worried that it has become an obession, then you need to develop more things to do, ie playing games. Ironically, if you develop mixed sex interests, the chances are that you'll soon stop thinking about girls all the time, even though you'll probably know more girls than you did before. If you are really lucky, then you'll met one girl, who will stop you thinking about other girls...........she'll just plague your mind for 24-hours a day, but in a pleasant way. Like I said, don't worry; it's normal at 17.
  2. Hi, I know I'm not a lady but I can identify with you, as I suffer from the same problem. As previous posters say, no-one should let their fears hold them back. Easier said than done I know. I now try to think: "what is the worst that could happen?" In your situation, if nothing comes of the introduction, then you might feel slightly awkward next time you see her. However, as she is leaving your office within the next few days, then this does not matter. Also, remember that she might not want to go out with you for a reason that is not specific to you. eg, she might just not date. Hence, it might just be a case of right woman, wrong time. So don't let possible rejection affect your confidence or stop you from asking her out. You really have nothing to lose and everything to gain. She might be shy too, and is sat there longing for you to talk to her. Incidentally, have you seen the film "Adaptation"? It is a film that deals with author Charlie Kaufman's struggle with self-doubt. It is worth a watch. Best of luck. After posting, I just thought of something else that might help. Since she might be leaving, you have a great conversation starter by asking her about her future plans. Consider asking if you could buy her a leaving drink. Think of this as an opportunity. Like I say, best of luck.
  3. Thank you people. Little wonder that I have yet to find my Miss Right....as we men are all seeking the same woman !!
  4. A woman who is nice, kind and caring but not in a drippy way. One who understands the true and important values of life and doesn't treat trivial problems like a major crisis. A woman who knows that worse things can happen so lives and smiles for each day. A woman whom I can relax with, without fearing that I have to be constantly funny or a great conversationalist. One who motivates me to become a better person in order to improve her life, as she is now sharing it with the better person that I have become. Likewise, a woman who feels that she can relax in my company. High on the list is a woman with a daft sense of humour, who has not lost her inner child yet is not childish. A woman who is feminine. Slightly on the quiet and shy side, but with a sexy and naughty streak that is reserved just for me. Breast size, legs size etc - as nice as they might be - are irrelevant to me. That's just off the top of my head. Maybe I should re-write it for a dating ad!
  5. I can understand your concerns, to the extent where I think it is better not to reveal each other's past to the other, as I have seen several relationships destroyed by the "three in a relationship" syndrome, i.e. the two partners plus one of their ex-lovers. Having the tattoo was insensitive to your feelings, especially as it is permanent. Imagine if you put a photograph of one of your ex-girlfriends next to the television, for her to look at each day! However, people do not always think, and if she had realised that you would be hurt, then she might have not had the tattoo. As for dealing with a partner's past, someone once highlighted a few things to me. One is that your past makes you the person that you. For example, those four early "relationships" might have left feeling bad about herself. Then you come along; you treat her with respect, the total opposite to the previous four. If she had not experienced the things she had, then she could not appreciate you as much as she does. Second, the most important thing in a committed and loving relationship is to be your partner's last rather than necessarily her first. The last will mean more to them.
  6. Laura, you are right, you should not be going through this. If you went to the police and explained the whole truth, you will definitely not be in trouble. However, there is a very high probability that they will investigate the abuse that you suffer. Only you can decide whether you want that to happen. It is a very difficult decision to make. I have just been reading a few of your previous posts in other forums. You mention that you have a sister in Bristol, whom you like. She understands what you are going through. Having read this, I would advise you to immediately telephone your sister and ask her to help you. Tell her everything and she will sort it out for you.
  7. Hi Laura Your parents should not be hitting you. There is no excuse for it. You should not have to accept it and feel scared. However, as you cannot tell your parents the truth, you must tell a responsible adult the whole truth and let them deal with this problem. Possibilities (in order) could include a kinder relative who will not get nasty, a teacher that you like and trust, the bank manager himself or even consider visiting your local police station yourself and asking to speak to a female officer. Ask them not to tell your parents and give the reason that you have given us. They will sort it out for you. Things will work out in the end.
  8. I answered something similar the other week, in regard to whether men and women can be "just good friends" - third post down - but is very appropriate to this topic. link removed The gist is that a woman with model looks might have a short-term advantage, but long-term it is brains and personality, which hold a relationship together. The sad fact of today's media induced society, and I think this applies to both sexes, is that we are too eager to dismiss others merely based on looks.
  9. None. If he was anything but respectful to her wishes then she is wasting her time dating him. The answer to the original question, all depends on highly you place sex in your qualities within a relationship. Obviously, it should features at some stage of a relationship if you feel that you have "found the one" but a lot of relationships fail, as they are purely sex based. Far better to wait and develop a relationship based on conversation and other activities. To be honest, when in a relationship, I would rather not know about her dating/sexual past. However, life experiences make us the person that we are, and the most important thing when you love someone, is to be their last.
  10. Or fantasist. I once fell for a friend in the manner described, except she was not interested in me. Worse followed, as I kept being her shoulder to cry on as she went from one user to another, which was difficult for me. Eventually, I moved to another part of the country and the friendship died out.
  11. Do you have a boyfriend that you've forgotten to mention? - It's happened to me, so best to find out sooner rather than later! 73. Have you seen (insert latest release) at the cinema/theatre? - allows the prospect of a follow-up date to see the aforementioned film/play. 74. Have you been to (insert a place name, restaurant etc)? again, allows the prospect of a follow-up date.
  12. That is the key. We men are simple creatures . Women initially fall into two categories: friends or potential girlfriends. I am not being sexist here, but just to simplify, I will ignore whether the woman is interested in us. The woman who we are initially attracted to, with her model looks becomes the girlfriend, while the woman who is not our type becomes the friend. However, unless the girlfriend has the personality to back up her looks, then she is in the worse position as more and more we begin to see her bad points. Whereas if the woman who is our friend has the personality that we warm to; then one day, the male brain thinks: "Hang on! X has all these qualities that I'm seeking in a woman, but I don't fancy her though" The seed of love has been sown. The next time you see X, you view her slightly different. You realise that she does have nice eyes, and that her smile is lovely too. A few weeks later, and hey presto, we've fallen in love with our close female friend who we are now convinced is our soulmate. This now brings us to the problem of whether our friend feels the same, or is in fact shocked by our declaration if love should the man pluck up the courage to tell her how he feels. So can men and women be friends? Well yes, as long as they do not form too close a friendship by spending too much time together. especially alone in each other's company. Least that is my view, but maybe I am a romantic at heart.
  13. Nevelinde - don't worry about it. I can relate to you too, as I struggle to find women whom I would want to form that bond with - see ladies, not all man chat-up anything in a skirt - but when you do, which you will, you will realise that he is very special to you. If he is your Mr. Right, he will be flattered that you have chosen him and happiness will come your way. Incidentally, never compare yourself with us, as we are all individuals.
  14. Men and women can be friends without either even thinking about having a relationship. The real problem arises when the man and woman's relationship begins heading to the best friend stage. A bit of flirting by the man is introduced to see what happens. The woman responds by flirting back, and not subtle flirting but the type that a boy/girlfriend would respond with. Then as man's feelings start to turn into loving ones - wanting love not sex - she suddenly calls a halt to it and announces that she has a new boyfriend and lets just be friends!! Muneca, there is nothing wrong your excuse, in fact it spares our feelings provided the woman is straight from start and does not give us false hope. - (I'm not suggesting that Muneca is one of these ladies who would do that). - it is the other women who hurt us, and sometimes very badly.
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