Misanthrope Who Also Cares About Other People

[Seraphim]

This is what you gotta do:

 

-accept that many people suck but if that is actually true the question is WHY????? and what does that say about humanity that so many people suck and are bad people?

-find a few people who don't suck i'm sure i could do that if i tried

-be respectful even to those who suck probably can never do that, have way too short a temper and am filled with rage inside

-don't get involved with drama: sounds reasonable

-find a job you can manage and still find humor in sounds reasonable

-just experience life i am i'm still alive

 

You know why they probably suck as you put it? They have had bad life experiences just like you. You want people to feel pity for you but you don't want to have any for them.

[Fudgie]

Here is something, Purple, that may help:

 

I like the Golden rule. I am not religious at all. This is the one rule I love.

Treat others as you would like to be treated.

 

I am a terrible patient in the hospital. I've been in a hospital for life threatening issues. I'm a terrible patient. I cry, whine, complain, and am just miserable. I think the last time I swore at my father. Im just a bear. I was in awe of the nice people who took care of me last time. They were nice to me even when I wasn't. Once I got better, I thanked them profusely and apologized for being awful.

 

If you treat others how YOU want be treated, you have a chance at getting the same.

If you don't, then you will never have that chance.

 

See how following this benefits you and makes your life better?

 

This is how I fight injustice. I follow this rule. Sometimes I get it back, sometimes I don't. But I'm doing my best.

[Purple Turtle]

You know why they probably suck as you put it? They have had bad life experiences just like you. You want people to feel pity for you but you don't want to have any for them.

 

that's NOT TRUE at all. i feel pity for people all the time who deserve it but not a-hole rotten people who don't care about other people and only for themselves. i would come accross these types of people all the time when i was younger, there's lots of em and they all deserve death as far as i'm concerned. people here aren't getting my main point about humanity and human beings which i'm not too surprised about. i can't do this any more for now, this thread is getting too stressful, peace...

[LillyLooWho]

am filled with rage inside

 

Rage hurts YOU more than anyone. If you can find a therapist to help you with your rage at the injustices of life, it would make life a lot more tolerable. Or if you can see people as the complicated, fragile, weak humans that they are, you might not be so enraged and instead take pity on them. I think most people try to be good. They just have harder lives and it is just harder for some people. I feel bad for them. Everyone has their own struggles in life. Some handle them better than others and some, like you, are filled with rage. People who are enraged don't generally try to be helpful and pass it on. So try to let go of the anger. Find some stories that highlight the good in people. Look at all of the people who rush to help in a tragedy. Or just work on making a small difference in their daily lives. Your focus needs to be shifted. I am worried about your views on people. They are skewed to much in one direction. It is not healthy for you.

[Purple Turtle]

I am a terrible patient in the hospital. I've been in a hospital for life threatening issues. I'm a terrible patient. I cry, whine, complain, and am just miserable.

 

WHAATTTTTTTT????????????

 

that makes absolutely NO SENSE. so your nice to rude mean people when your working as a nurse, but then you are whining and rude to the nurses who are NICE TO YOU. i'm the opposite of that, i'm rude to jerks and nice to nice people. don't know what else to say here, WOW...

[Fudgie]

I'm sorry you're stressed with this thread Purple.

 

LOL. I know, I'm terrible when I have to be in the hospital. I am just so uncomfortable and at the time I was in a lot of pain so I wasn't thinking clearly. It wasn't intentional and I felt badly about it afterward.

 

I've known other patients who are the same. Hospitals bring out the worst sometimes.

[LillyLooWho]

WHAATTTTTTTT????????????

 

that makes absolutely NO SENSE. so your nice to rude mean people when your working as a nurse, but then you are whining and rude to the nurses who are NICE TO YOU. i'm the opposite of that, i'm rude to jerks and nice to nice people. don't know what else to say here, WOW...

 

You are only seeing the surface. You don't see the causes of people's reactions. Either you don't want to see or don't care but if you had some understanding of people beyond their surface reactions, you might understand why people act the way they do and their behavior would make more sense. I see Fudgie struggling with being sick and miserable and her struggle makes her not her normal self. This is understandable. I don't just make a judgement that she is rude for no reason. People usually have reasons and struggles. Just like you have reasons. Seek to understand first.

[Seraphim]

you are only seeing the surface. You don't see the causes of people's reactions. Either you don't want to see or don't care but if you had some understanding of people beyond their surface reactions, you might understand why people act the way they do and their behavior would make more sense. I see fudgie struggling with being sick and miserable and her struggle makes her not her normal self. This is understandable. I don't just make a judgement that she is rude for no reason. People usually have reasons and struggles. Just like you have reasons. Seek to understand first.

 

exactly...

[Fudgie]

My point in bringing that up is that I appreciated the nurses being nice to me when I was sick and obviously not acting my best at all.

 

I do the same to others in return because that's what I would want for myself.

 

I can't always pick out the buttholes. I just treat them all the same.

[Capricorn3]

In my opinion there is zero justification for being that angry at people you don't even know, just because they might be rich or have different political views that you feel they deserved to die at 9/11.

^ I couldn't agree more.

 

OP: This thread just screams therapy, therapy, and more intensive therapy. I think professional counselling is the way to go and would be beneficial to you.

[Fudgie]

I agree. It does help, OP. I see a therapist every week for some past issues. She is very nice and understanding. I never feel judged or ashamed with her.

 

I'm sure your parents would be willing to help you pay to talk to someone. They may jump at the chance, actually, since I'm sure that they see that you're unhappy in your own life.

[Purple Turtle]

apologies to fudgie on my last comment. i'm in therapy now, once a week since december. so far it hasn't helped. not sure yet whether to try someone else but i probably will know within a month or so.how many sessions does someone typically go to before they know that the therapist is right for them?

[Fudgie]

Well, I think it's hard to say.

 

You won't always "click" right away. It took me a few weeks to really get into deep issues with my therapist. Going to my therapist is actually painful emotionally. It is NOT fun. It is emotionally trying. I go anyways because it's good for me. It's like going to the dentist but the dentist hurts me less, lol.

 

However, if it's been 1-2 months and you don't feel like you're making progress, it may be wise to try a new one. Also, are you being hoenst with your therapist? REALLY honest? Like, do you tell her/him the same things that you have told me here? Really opening up is key. But you can't do that unless you're with the right therapist.

 

I hear you on how expensive it is. I pay over 70 a session...and I'm insured! I told you I only make $11/hour. My boyfriend helps me pay for things like this because he knows how I am trying to come to grips with things in the past and move on. It's worth it though.

[Purple Turtle]

yes i have opened up with him and told him about my misanthropy but it has not helped so far. he wants to do a "group session" next week with my parents which will probably be very awkward but i figure i don't really have much of a choice since i've been stuck like this for 8 years might as well try. one of the things i'm worried about is that on my third session he said that "hitler was actually jewish" in a discussion we were having about anger issues. right away i knew that wasn't true but i didn't want to get into an argument over it because it would've been weird. so that has me a little concerned that maybe he's not that bright and not the right person but i don't want to let that one thing ruin it but it kinda threw me off a little that he said it in such a straightforward way. any thoughts on this?

[Fudgie]

8 years is a long time. Definitely time for a change but I think you know that deep down or else you wouldn't be in therapy/on ENA.

 

The idea that "Hitler was Jewish" (I think he meant "Hitler had Jewish blood/heritage") is a very, very commonly stated statement. It's been disputed and supported so many times over that I even I don't really know but I know that many people believe in the possibility and I don't really hold that against people for parroting that, even though I think it's rather unoriginal. He definitely wasn't ACTUALLY Jewish. I would have said something myself, LOL.

 

I think for you, I'd just be concerned about a lack of progress. 2 months and still really nothing? That would worry me. Is he the only therapist you've seen? A therapist needs to be able to understand and open up with very hard, difficult questions. It's up to you answer honestly and deeply and really think about things.

 

My own therapist made a statement one time, and one time only, that made me cringe. There's sort of background to it so it's annoying to explain but I'll say this, it made me think that she was a radical feminist and I instantly felt repelled, skeptical, and I could feel my mental wheels getting ready to "refute" her. Ultimately, I had her re-word her statement, which made more sense, but still. The fact that I'm seeing major progress is enough to make me stay. I'm very happy with her because of the progress.

 

I think if I were you, I would go to the group session with your parents, try your best, and then think about your progress (if any) thus far. Then make a choice if you want to leave. While you do need to give a therapist a chance (provided that they aren't horrible, making you feel bad, unprofessional, etc) I don't think it's in your better interests to continue to stay with a therapist and not see any results.

[Purple Turtle]

thanks for the advice fudgie, i really appreciate it. in regard to the therapist you were seeing why not just come out and ask her if she was a feminist? did she turn out to be one?

[SapphireNoir10]

I hate the world sometimes. No not the world. People. The way people treat eachother.

 

I'm not perfect. But he way I see humans behave, slaughtering animals for fun, hurting eachother for fun. If I sat and thought about all the bad things that people do and the wars, deaths etc I wouldn't last long!! One of my friend is on anti depressants due to getting SO upset over the state of the world and how people treat eachother

 

BUT

 

No one deserves pain or death. I have never felt glad if someone has been hurt or died. Never.

 

i can make the world a better place by being good, being caring, not hurting anyone, by being polite and considerate. Smiling and saying hello to people. Giving to charity. Making the effort to be nice to everyone.

 

I've filled my life with good friends and good people. That makes me happy.

 

The world is a beautiful place at the end of theday. And there are many good people and good deeds as well as the bad. There will never be good without bad. You just have to try and be part of th good.

[SapphireNoir10]

I have spent years on here giving advice. Thats one of the ways I feel good about myself and feel like i'm contributing.

 

I have always been good to people and been treated badly in return. But I'm happy now. I live in my own house near my family. I have a beautiful child who I will teach to be kind, respectful and to be nice to others. I have a partner I love, and even though he has hurt me, I'm giving him a chance and trying to move on.

 

Do you know the doctors recently thought I may have a brain tumor. Thats when I realised. I love life. Life is precious. It's too short to let others ruin. Enjoy it. Be a good person. That's all you can do. Human kind has always been good and bad.

 

Humans are probably temporary anyway. Give it a few thousand years and there will probably just be animals and nature will fix itself.

[Purple Turtle]

The world is a beautiful place at the end of the day.

 

sure it is, for people who want to remain blind to the brutal cold reality of this earth.

[Purple Turtle]

One of my friends is on anti depressants due to getting SO upset over the state of the world and how bad people treat each other.

 

wow, i feel the same way but i'm not on any meds. is he/she getting any better?

[Purple Turtle]

Humans are probably temporary anyway. Give it a few thousand years and there will probably just be animals and nature will fix itself.

 

a few thousand??? i was hoping for 2012, LOL

[SapphireNoir10]

I mean like literally beautiful. Like nature is beautiful.

 

Reality is cold and brutal. Your born. You get ill and die, or just die. But before you die everyone you love dies. If you think about it like that it SUCKS.

 

But, it's the bits inbetween that matter. Being a good person. I work a job that I LOVE. It's literally just customer services, and most people talk to me like crap, but the nice people make it worthwhile.

 

I live in the countryside, in a beautiful place where there's hills and forests and the people are friendly.

 

Literally. when I see my baby smile up at me. I realise how beautiful life really is. Good people have children and pass on to them how to be good so the good lives on.

[SapphireNoir10]

a few thousand? i was hoping for 2012, LOL

 

I get what you mean though. Sometimes I look at the world and see what people have done to nature and how they've destroyed it. Not like everyone else is to blame. I am too. I am a consumer. So I contribute towards it. And I think that the world would be better off without us sometimes.

 

BUT.

 

If I thought like that all the time I'd just literally end up clinically depressed. The world and nature IS beautiful. There are truly wonderful and good people. Life is what you make it. If you surround yourself with nice people and look at the good rather than the bad then life can seem pretty great.

[Purple Turtle]

I live in the countryside, in a beautiful place where there's hills and forests and the people are friendly.

 

wow i wish i could say the same for where i reside. i live in a concrete jungle so to speak, when i look out my back kitchen window i see a condominium directly behind me and two large apartment buildings on each side. not to mention right next door to me are elderly people who never walk their large barking dog that barks EVERY DAY multiple times a day, it's a major stressor not to mention other loud noises. i feel very trapped here where i live and it's horrible because i can't just pick myself up and move somewhere, i'm way too weak and dependant on my parents, it feels impossible. so instead i just rot away here all alone for years now.

 

when i think about some of the situations i see on TV and hear about it could be worse though, MUCH WORSE. so that's what keeps me going i guess, even though it's probably wrong to feel that way about other people.

[SapphireNoir10]

I don't want to be condescending and stuff and i wont say nothing is impossible cos somethings are lol.

 

You CAN get yourself out of there. Get a job in a nicer place. Doesn't have to be a great job, any job. Countryside etc is usually cheaper than cities to live in. Me and my partner both earn relativley low wages but where we are they are quite high wages.

 

You don't HAVE to rot away. Literally. I have probably 3 close friends and they think like me, they are kind and nice to people but in general are upset at the way the world is and how humanity can be. One of my good friends and I spend hours talking about stuff like this. There are other like minded people.

 

It's not wrong to think there are people worse off than you, there sure are. I think I read somewhere if you have food and shelter you are better off than a third of the worlds populations. A third of the world is starving. It's madness.

 

I mean there must be stuff you enjoy...tv shows or games?? Do you go out much?