20 Months Post BU - Truly Miss Ex's Dog But NOT Ex

[Silverbirch]

Tonight I was thinking again about the ex's dog and how much I miss her. I no longer miss the ex and haven't for a long time now.

 

The ex's dog is now almost 15 years old. She is a pure-bred border collie. She loved me to bits. She was (apart from being on equal terms with my own dog), the most loving, loyal affectionate sentient being I have ever known. She would wait for me by the window every night and wouldn't go to bed until I was home safe from work or wherever I was. She kissed me goodnight every night. I took her for drives in my car and she was in her element sitting there beside me. We went for long walks together and I taught her things. I showed her how to get over her phobia of cats and she came to like them and play with them. We played chasey and hidey in the house together and I always had her favourite treats on hand - schmackos. She loved to sit on my lap and even though she was quite heavy for me, I liked having her warmth over me in winter like a blanket.

 

She always liked me, but it was when she had an episode of diarrhoea and hid in shame crying that she came to really love me. She had been scolded previously when she was very young for pooping in the house and the poor dear was beside herself in shame and fear when she had an attack of some type of gastro-intestinal bug. I coaxed her and patted her and washed her bottom with a soft cloth soaked in warm water and scented lightly with lavender oil. I don't think she ever forgot that. I think that's when I became a mother to her, and she loved me differently after that.

 

I last saw her a few months ago, and despite being partially blind and deaf, she remembered and recognised me and was quite beside herself with joy. I feel quite a different person to who I was since that relationship ended. In some ways, I'm more cynical, it takes me much longer to trust, but even though I don't get to see her, I love that dog even much more than I used to - which was a lot. She will always be in my heart. I love you F.

[pippy longstocking]

awww silver

 

 

what you doing getting me all bubbling up at this hour of a sunday morning ....

 

collie's are just beautiful dogs period ...I have never come accross a collie who had an attitude ...

 

I bet she misses you as well silver and your right , she knows how you treated her when she thought she would be

in trouble ...

 

your a beautiful soul xxx hope your ok xxxx

[Avila]

I miss my ex's cat. Apart from my ex, i was the only person my ex's cat would say hello to. He gave everyone the cold shoulder. Me, my ex and his cat were a little family unit, lol. when my ex would go to work early in the morning, he'd hop up on the bed and keep my company. I feel sorry for his cat because now there's no one to give him cuddles and pay attention to him. my ex's family don't really 'get' animals. I basically taught my ex how to talk and get along with animals. I'm glad i could give him that because it's a gift, all on it's own.

 

On a related note I miss my ex's little nieces and nephew. I knew them since they were really little. Sometimes it hurts me that I'll likely never see them again.

[pippy longstocking]

avila my big lad georgy boy (cat) misses my ex , I know he does ...he will still sit at the bottom of the stairs

making this strange noise ...then he appears to walk round every room making the noise looking..

 

I say "georgy he's gone " ..then cry hahahahahah oh god ....listen at us .

 

this is the thing ..its not just us is it ..you lose the whole family ...the pets , the children ..a break up is so hard

in so many different ways.

[Silverbirch]

Hugs SS. I am okay but missing her. It's funny because my current SO is very attached to his pets - and he has a lot of them. He has this gift with animals, an affinity with them. He appreciates them so much and he says he likes them more than most people. He was on his own for a very long time, mostly through choice. Said he hadn't met anyone he liked enough to be with. He hopes to meet the collie one day too. My ex has invited me to come and take the collie for a ride in my car. I think partly he has offered that as a means to have me interract with him. I don't think the old girl has a lot of time left in her, and I want to see her again and take her for another drive and do some things with her. Especially I want to take some photos of her and of me with her. She has the personality of a very kind, dear old lady and has some of the funniest mannerisms. She is exceptionally smart. I can't believe I forgot to mention that.

 

She has known losses too. She was trained by my ex's ex-wife who then relinquished her completely on the understanding that my (and her) ex never contact her again. Apparently, she grieved very badly for her original owner. If I could have kept her for myself, I would have.

 

My current SO talks a lot these days about his hopes that my pets and his pets and he and I will all come together like The Brady Bunch one day. When our dogs get together these days, they are like favourite cousins meeting up with great excitement. They get excited when they see me too because I take them for walks altogether and also bring them bags of bones which of course they like chewing, burying and then digging up again. I have also started giving them human grade pink salmon, especially for the senior dog who is an adorable small mut named Bruce. My SO says that Bruce just comes alive with a different personality when he sees my dog Fuzzie who has become his best mate.

[pippy longstocking]

thanks silver xx

 

I am with your SO on this ...I prefer animlas to humans ...we are a horrible lot ...

 

great that you will get the chance to be with the lovely old lady again ...make sure you get heaps and heaps

of pics .

 

oh I love the brady brunch story you have going on there ..all the animals together haha fab fab fab

[Silverbirch]

Hi Avila and HUGS to you and SS. I initially felt hut when a while back, current SS who I have been with for almost 14 months told me he couldn't connect with people the way he did with animals. I told him I thought that was because a lot of animals, especially domesticated ones like dogs, cats and horses are so loyal and give a type of love and appreciation that few people can. They don't hurt you in the way people can. Relationships with them are uncomplicated.

 

My current SO says he feels very responsible and loyal to his pets because they don't have choice as we have and they usually can't manage without us i.e. feed, house and care for them. He hardly spends a night apart from them as he has several which he rescued which have special needs.

 

I'm so looking forward to spending some time with my SO tomorrow night - and of course, our furries. He and my dog love each other and I ALWAYS take Fuzzie with me when I visit and stay over.

[Cheetarah]

Aww, Silver...I miss the dog I had with my ex of over 4.5 years ago. He was a little Lhasa Apso monster puppy with one white pimp hand(paw). We had a hell of a time training him at first but had a lot of fun with it. We let him sleep in his own bed at the foot of the bed, and sometimes I'd catch him crawling in with me and he would go UNDER my nightshirt in the small of my back to cuddle, lol. I did get to see him last year and he's such a grumpy dog who wants to be left alone..Not the personality he had when I left. I had the gentler, playful hand, my ex was more of the rigid disciplinarian.

 

I feel terrible when I don't get to see an ex's pet anymore! If I'm honest, worse than not seeing the ex. I totally understand.

[Silverbirch]

Double-Posting

[Silverbirch]

Star, I will try and post pics when I get them. Will see also if I can find any old ones.

 

Oh Cheet, that is sad. Yes, I miss the dog, but not the ex.

[Silverbirch]

Pic of my current SO and 2 of his family

[Avila]

I think a lot of it has to do with how much interaction you had with animals growing up and how your family regards them. I've never understood people who can't seem to get on animals wave lengths. i can literally feel my cats thinking about me, or the shifts in their moods. From the age of 10 I was around a lot of horses and ponies. It was a lesson in learning how to manage different personalities with patience. If you've had a difficult childhood, horses really are the best. They teach you to find inner peace as you can only really ride them well when you are calm inside.

 

i had to give my golden retriever away to a family friend when my family moved to a flat that didn't allow dogs. i used to walk him everyday and keep on top of his training. he is the dearest dog. retrievers just are. i don't see him often now but he has never forgot me. he's old now, but whenever he knows i've come to visit he huffs and puffs down the stairs to give me a huge greeting with his big doggy smile and deep brown eyes. it's the most heart warming feeling to know that all that work and love i put into him wasn't forgotten.

[Avila]

oh my goodness silver! cute! miniature horses have the funniest personalities.

[Silverbirch]

Avila, I didn't have ANY pets until I was around 20 and living away from home as my parents did not like animals. When the stray dogs used to visit the school yard, I would offer them a lick of my icecream and they would follow me home. I always wanted a dog.

 

My first dog was an Irish Setter named Monty, but I lived in suburbia which didn't suit poor Monty so I gave him to some people who lived on an island for most of their time and they also had another dog who was a good companion to MOnty. I visited him once and he came to the gate and stuck his head over and watched me until I was out of site. I couldn't bring myself to go back again.

 

Silver is starting to sing sadly to herself: ~ To All the Dogs I've Loved Before ~

[Silverbirch]

Avila, he rescued those 2 and brought them home to live with him. I have 2 Shetlands who I rescued also (one of them in partnership with him). Those 2 ponies in the pic both had chronic laminitis and will likely be coming to live with me for a short while as I have a very suitable paddock for them. That one in the front with D is named Sinatra as he has very blue eyes. D is 6 feet 2 inches tall, 100kg and none of it fat so that gives more of an idea of the ponies size - and of course, an opportunity for me to brag about my gentle giant. (I've heard another version that D is in fact or at least was 6 feet 4 inches tall).

[Avila]

laminitis is an insidious thing. sometimes you can try and try but it just won't stop coming back. i lost a very dear arab cross to it.

 

Aaaw, just precious. Some people just have a way with animals. My ex took to animals like a duck to water once he saw how i was with mine. I think his family made him feel embarrassed about being all matey with the pets (why have pets?! lol). But once he saw how i used to just chat to mine like a moron, it's like a part of him just opened up and ever since he's been entirely different around animals. He's still suspicious of horses though. i used to tell him they are like a cat... mixed with a giant dog. their an acquired taste i think! lol.

 

i stopped riding when my favourite horse died. he was definitely a gentle giant. 17 hh of lovableness. He died very suddenly and i just found that i didn't have the heart to ride any more.

[Silverbirch]

Oh I'm sorry to hear about your horse Avila. D is a barefoot trimmer (farrier) so he has to handle all types. People expect me to be a rider and are surprised to find I'm not that interested in riding - it's handling and ground skills and training, especially ponies that is my passion.

 

Here is a pic of me with a friends horse taken shortly after the BU. The horse, Mac, was a rescue horse, a highly educated stock horse. This was the first and only time I met him. I have other pics of me with him too - one where I am riding him. He was around 16hh

 

 

[offplanet]

Hugs SS. I am okay but missing her. . My ex has invited me to come and take the collie for a ride in my car. I think partly he has offered that as a means to have me interract with him. I don't think the old girl has a lot of time left in her, and I want to see her again and take her for another drive and do some things with her. Especially I want to take some photos of her and of me with her. She has the personality of a very kind, dear old lady and has some of the funniest mannerisms. She is exceptionally smart. I can't believe I forgot to mention that.

QUOTE]

 

I'm very glad that your ex has invited you to take the collie out. Your original post was making me sad, for the dog as well as for yourself. I hope you can see her from time to time.

[Silverbirch]

 

 

I rode him bareback and although he requires a bridle as he is quite forward moving, I like riding the oldies who you can ride and steer with just a head stall. I like the feeling of connectedness you get with bareback. It's the warmth and being able to move so in sync with them. It feels a bit weird seeing I look a bit different now. My hair is quite a deal longer - a few inches past my shoulders.

 

 

[Silverbirch]

Hi OffPlanet, I think I will text the ex tomorrow and see if I can take her for a few hours soon and I will spend as much as I can of that time with her and have some of her favourite treats to give.

[In the Dark]

Still miss my Border Colllie.

Those dogs can have that kind of affect on people.

Mine had an ability to pick out the clucky chicken and flick it in the backside with his nose.

He would jump from it's front legs then hind legs when he saw it was dinner time, it was very funny.

Been years since he passed away due to incorrect medication from the vet for his diabetes.

[pippy longstocking]

oh silver your pics are fabulous ....

 

I love where you live and that lovely blue sky ...ahhhhh

 

thankyou for puting them up x

[Robin2904]

Oh Silver this made me tear up sending you big hugs! I'm an animal lover myself and I understand the love you can have for a pet. I know she knows how much you love her. Its so sad for pets in break ups, I wish you were able to keep her. She sounds like a beautiful dog. My ex had 4 dogs, family pets he grew up with and I grew fond of them. I found out one of his dogs had to be put to sleep back in March (and shortly after was the last time I spoke to him) and that was pretty sad to hear. The pets become a part of your life too, especially if you are an animal person. Just want to send you hugs! And I loved the pictures of you and Mac!

[browneyedgirl36]

I loved my ex's cats. We were dating when he got them as kittens -- I still remember the day. He arrived at work with them and called me over to his car and said, "Look what I've got!" He had them zipped up into his jacket, and their little heads were poking out -- soooo cute. He had a huge smile on his face. One of the things that nagged at me when we stopped seeing each other the first time was that I was never going to get to see them again. Eventually, we "got back together" (in a manner of speaking) several times, and I was able to spend time with them. Then, he got back with his ex, she moved in with her dog (and I think the cats spent most of their time away from the house, outside). Then, they broke up, he went through (and I think is still going through) a sort of "midlife crisis," and he doesn't spend a lot of time at home anymore -- he spends it on the boat he bought. He asked me a few months ago if I wanted a couple of cats. He said it jokingly, but I don't think he was joking. He said he really isn't home a lot anymore, and he really should find a home for them. I wanted to take them SO badly, but I live in an apartment right now (am currently house-hunting), and I can only have one cat per my rental agreement. Plus...three cats in a small apartment equals bad news, especially when two of them (his two) are significantly older, and I fear they'd gang up on my younger (and MUCH smaller) cat.

 

I'm not sure if he gave them away, ultimately -- I've never asked, because I'm afraid of the answer. If he said "yes," I'd feel so guilty and sad. We still work together, so at some point I'll probably hear about it -- but I'd rather not know for now. I'd feel guilty because I'd wish I could have given them a good home, and sad because -- he got those cats within a couple of weeks of us starting to date, and it's kind of like the last vestiges of that time are gone if he gave them away. Plus...I feel sad because I worry that he took them to the pound, and that they got put to sleep, or he gave them to someone who won't take good care of them. And, I feel sad -- and angry -- that he can't even commit to taking care of two lovely little creatures whom he once seemed to really love -- and who really loved him -- and who asked virtually NOTHING of him and gave him no trouble. Kind of like me.

 

God, now I'm really sad. He and I are LONG over, but this stuff kills me. This is why I don't think of it.

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Everyone for sharing your stories of your pets and your ex's pets. I'm sorry for everyone who has lost a pet. Yes, border collies are very, very special dogs.

 

I will organise to spend time with F soon.

 

SS, those pics aren't on the property I live on - one is on D's and the ones of the big gelding are taken on a property - both places are within an hours drive of where I live. My place is even nicer and there is more wilderness - we have a reasonable sized dam which attracts a lot of wildlife too. Will try and post a pic. I seem to be having some problems with it this morning.