20 Months Post BU - Truly Miss Ex's Dog But NOT Ex

[Silverbirch]

I rang my ex yesterday and asked about the dog and if I could take her with me for the day sometime soon. He was very nice - like somebody, an acquaintance I hadn't seen for a long time. He asked me about my health, etc. I have received texts from him out of the blue since the bu and invitations to lunch, etc, but never gone. I'm not planning to but will have a coffee with him when I get the dog. He offered several times to take me to my medical appts, but I assured him my son has been wonderful and I have had many offers from friends, and I'm generally very well.

 

When I got off the phone, I cried. I don't miss him or want to be with him but it made me feel sad that he was somebody who I had loved very much, lived with for 2 years, and I had this type of surreal feeling sort of like none of that happened. I don't know how quite to describe it. It wasn't painful, just quietly sad. Maybe it was a type of acceptance I felt that I don't think I had had before.

[pippy longstocking]

Hugs Everyone for sharing your stories of your pets and your ex's pets. I'm sorry for everyone who has lost a pet. Yes, border collies are very, very special dogs.

 

I will organise to spend time with F soon.

 

SS, those pics aren't on the property I live on - one is on D's and the ones of the big gelding are taken on a property - both places are within an hours drive of where I live. My place is even nicer and there is more wilderness - we have a reasonable sized dam which attracts a lot of wildlife too. Will try and post a pic. I seem to be having some problems with it this morning.

 

 

omg ..to be able to see that ..amazing ..please swap countries .. thanks for posting it ..

 

funny how it can make you feel talking to the ex ..when you loved them , and its gone ..maybe your right , an acceptance , and in your case , so glad your able to make that call , to talk with him ..cos now your going to get the dog and have a fab time .

[Silverbirch]

Thanks SS. Well very often we will have a mob of at least 50. We had a young albino one about for a while too. I used to see wombats but haven't one for ages - have never seen a snake here thank heavens.

 

I'll contact the ex again. He can only organise if for weekends and I won't have one free for another 3 weeks away. It was good being able to speak with him without feeling really emotional. I remember when I wanted to be back with him and it was heart-breaking. I have very good things happening in my current relationship, and it really does feel like life has moved right on. I'll post pics of the border collie when I have her over. He says that she is really quite blind and deaf and arthritic now and very slow so there won't be any long walks. Funny that at her own home she wasn't allowed up on the bed, but when I used to bring her here, first thing she would do was find my bed and hop up on it. I'll give her lots of hugs and TLC.

 

SS, often when I am driving on and off the property which is half a kilometre long dirt road, I will have 3-6 kangaroos chaperoning me on and off the property. It feels very welcoming.

[Silverbirch]

I'm very happy to say that yesterday morning, I collected the ex's border collie and brought her back to him in the early evening. I had to carry and lift the old girl in and out of the car, but she still looks good. She's quite deaf and you need to speak very loudly for her. When I arrived, the ex called her loudly saying, "Look who's here! It's your Silver!" She actually came bounding out and he was saying: "Yes. I told you all morning Silver was coming". The dog jumped up on me excitedly. Then she did as she always used to when she gets very excited - she ran out to the sidewalk barking to all the neighbourhood to let them know something exciting has happened.

 

The ex told me that she isn't able to walk more than 20 minute so I didn't actually walk her, but she she was at my home, she spent hours sniffing through the yard, digging up my own dog's bones and chewing on them. I lifted her up on my bed as well and she spent some time there with me, my dog and cat - all a happy little family again. She and my dog remembered each other too, and my dog seemed to understand that she was much older and frailer and whilst they hung out together, he didn't pester her by jumping all over her the way he used to.

 

She enjoyed the trip in the car and I took both dogs in the car down to a nearby village to do some shopping. One of her favourite things is to go for drives and I would have driven with her for at least two and half hours. I could tell she had a lovely time as did I.

 

When I took her back, the ex invited me in for a coffee and we chatted. I feel so much more comfortable now. Each of us is now with somebody else and we wish each other well. I don't wish to be back with him even though he was the one who ended it. He offered to take me to the hospital for any treatment I will be needing - that was a nice offer and I thanked him, but my son and current SO and friends have all offered to take me too.

 

He was happy to see the old girl so happy. It seemed to give her a lift. I've offered to care for her if he has to go away and can't take her and have also asked if I can have her again some time in the next few weeks/months.

 

It feels so good to have reconnected with the old girl - and I suppose that I am aware of being at peace with the break-up. I went and visited my SO and ended up staying the night and we had lots of laughs even though we were both tired. He (my SO) sent me a funny text when I got home and I just feel really happy right now.

[Silverbirch]

PS I did take some photos of the dog but left my camera at my SO's house, and if any of them turn out, I will post here.

[Realitynut]

SB talked to Dan for an hour tonite. Weird. Had a guy i really liked...for a few weeks but i drove him nuts. He txted me today that I was insecure and made him stressed. And he wouldn't see me again.

I had to move last weekend.

My youngest son has become epileptic and had a seisure in my arms Sunday.

And knew this guy was losing interest.

Yep...i was stressed....new guy couldn't handle me.

Called Dan.

Sick.

[Realitynut]

Oh....btw....you sexy hot little mama....

[Silverbirch]

Oh....btw....you sexy hot little mama....

 

Hehehehe Thanks!

 

Hey, I hope your son is okay and feeling better now. So how far did you have to move and did you end up buying that nice house you wanted.

 

Oh sort of funny you are in contact with Dan and that he has now cheated on HER with you LOL!

 

Too bad about the newer guy. Any chance you could become more secure and reconnect with that guy.

 

My ex was telling me the new woman in his life has been widowed for 8 months (her husband died very suddenly). She has 2 children aged 7 and 9 who she had later in life. Anyway, that's his life and he can do whatever he wants. I was so glad to be with D and appreciative of him and could really see how being dumped was the best thing for me and that I'm much happier with D than I would be with ex if we were still together. The other thing is that with D, it's just him and his animals. With the ex, there was a whole package of family (his interfering mother living next door) and an exwife with a lot of bad feelings from her and legal wrangles, and he had a lot expectations of me. Life is so much easier now.