potential reconciliation gone bad...in pain..

[ChellyV]

I broke up with my ex on early week of September after 5 months because I felt he was so distant emotionally and so much animosity occurs every time we talk. At that time we were LDR. Now I am back to our city and have attempted to reach out. After weeks of me asking, last week he finally met up with me in person.

 

In the meeting, he accidentally sends me a text meant for somebody else (posted in a separate thread) saying..I am in a meeting baby I will call you when done. That was a stab in my heart. What was supposed to be a casual, nice catching up meeting turned out to be the opposite. While I was calm at that time, I heard him say so many things he resented about me, none of them he talked about while we were together. Others trivial, others important. He talked in depth about him doing this and that for me. I explained my part, quite calmly and not pleading. He kept checking his watch while with me, and never said anything nice so to speak. When I asked do you think you will be better off without me, he said he doesn't know because he never had it better. Whatever that means. I asked if he was seeing someone else and he said, he isn't emotionally attached to anyone at this time.

 

 

We separated not knowing what he has in mind. That same night, I cried so hard over the missent text. I felt like he has had this “baby” long before our BU, my gut feel only. Having witnessed some of my male friends cheat, I saw the signs that he was doing that to me. I called 3x and never got a live voice. He sent me a text asking where do I want to go from here. I thought, here he goes. Doing to me what he has done to many women when he was in my presence before. I do not go through his phone but I can hear it ring (sometimes way too much) whenever we were together. That same night I sent an angry email that he is a cheat and a liar, and that I do not really want to have anything to do with him and that I want all my stuff back. Wrong I know, obviously I need some self control lessons still. That was the last contact I made, as all my other contact attempts have been ignored anyway.

 

I am in pain. This is obviously too complicated and the pain stems from the fact that this is really the end. I cannot possibly be looking back.

[Loveandlost]

you are playing what if way to much.

 

Honestly this "baby" probably doesn't exist. I very much doubt he accidentally texted you of all people that... that text did exactly what it was suppose to.. make you think about him. Sounds like a game more then anything, but even if this "baby" exists it doesn't mean it he cheated on you, you did break up with him, and some people move straight into finding a rebound... if this "baby" exists it could simply be that person.

 

The point is you don't know, and you are accusing him, and beating yourself up over it.

[ChellyV]

youre probably right but i want to emphasize that what i have written above is a careful summary of occurrences prior to break up..not too much thinking. yes, the baby does exist and have existed.

 

i do am beating myself up over it. i wish i can cope better.

[DN]

If you broke up with him then he isn't cheating.

[annie24]

I too think that the text was sent to upset you. His story that it was for "Joe" doesn't ring true.

 

In any case, you broke up within for a good reason and probably best to stay broken up. I'm sorry.

[ChellyV]

Thank you all for your responses. I meant to explain that I kinda felt the other woman thing when she came, and it was mid August while I was in another town. It is indeed better to stay broken up...

[Elle1015]

He is playing games with you with his missed txt. There is such a small chance that he miss txt you. Now I am not sure your age, but I want you to think to yourself, "Do I want a guy who was distant when he had me, and who plays games at the chance of having me, in my life again?" I am 31, and I would take the BS in the past and now I am sad because I could have spent those days working on myself or meeting someone who was there for me and an all around nice guy.

 

Also if there is a "baby" AND feel there is, then please think to yourself... "Do I want a guy who is with someone else?"

 

Think about your self worth, what you want in someone, and where you are in life.

 

Last point, I KNOW jealousy. I have felt it WAY too much. Don't let that emotion drive you to put up with this dudes crap. Just my two cents.

[ChellyV]

Elle1015 - I am 42 and yes, I shouldn't be putting up with BS. And I made a choice not to. I walked away and just counted this as a lesson learned in my life. I am not putting myself through this. And I am happy making that choice...Thank you for your input..

[Ms Darcy]

How is it cheating if you are not together?

 

It seems like you have pursued him much harder than he has expressed interest post-break up. It never really seemed like a potential reconciliation. I would just take it all as final confirmation that he's not that interested.

[ChellyV]

Yes Miss Darcy, it is a final confirmation that he doesn't me or any form of romantic relationship with me.