Engagement rings...

[bakerrac]

The subject of engagement rings came up between my boyfriend and I last night, and he said there's two ways to do it:

 

1. The guy picks out the ring to surprise the girl (and hopes she likes it)!

2. The guy pops the question and the couple picks out the ring together

 

I said I'd prefer to be surprised. He responded by asking what if I don't like the ring chosen?? Because obviously, that would kind of suck for the guy proposing if the girl said she didn't like it and wanted to pick a new one, but it would also suck to not be totally in love with the ring! (Now, don't get me wrong here, the ring isn't everything.) I personally believe that if the guy knows me well enough, he should be able to pick a beautiful ring that suits me. Right? Plus, as I told my boyfriend, I'm not sure I'd be able to choose a ring because I'd like too many of them!

 

Thoughts? Ladies, would you like to be surprised or choose your own ring? Guys, which would you prefer? I'm just curious, no right or wrong answer here!

[Jd1983]

I'll much rather prefer to be surprised rather than choosing my own ring. I like the idea of my bf finding something that he thinks I may like. I agree, that the ring isn't everything, and it's more of the symbol behind it. However, let's be serious - if you're going to be wearing it (hopefully the rest of your life), at least let it be something that would be better suited for you.

[craigslist]

Guys reading this...have you ever noticed that when you date a new girl, they ALWAYS tend to stop when walking past a jewelry store?? PRIME TIME to start listening to what she says just in case.

 

Girls reading this...be honest you all do that haha.

 

My opinion is yes it would be great to pick out a ring the girl absolutely loves, but there is always the fear of getting it wrong even though you have listened at you think you got it down hard.

[buddha55]

take into account personal style... is she spunky? sophisticated? elegant? will a large ring look ridiculous on her petite hand? does she like color? a guy should be able to pick out a decent ring on his own... or ask your friends for advice.

 

i'd rather be surprised!!

[ButterflyWrists]

I'd rather be surprised too, Although anything big and chuncky would most of the time be left in a box, but I would expect any boyfriend of mine to know this seeing as the only jewlary I wear is very simple and pretty, I'd also expect the guy to know what colour/type of metal I would like... xD

[Ang33]

I was saving up for my ex's ring and i was going to choose it as a surprise. I think it would've been more special if i chose it rather than her decide. She would've loved it regardless. Unfortunately idk what my future holds now =\

[figur]

I would prefer to be surprised. There are so many styles I'd like anyway.

[Seraphim]

I picked out my own. My husband proposed on a spur of the moment with no planning, literally. What an ADHD man he is. He had not even thought of a ring and he was just 20 years old. It was so cute.

[littleL_RN]

I would never want to go shopping and pick out a ring. The only preference I ever revealed is that I like white gold/platinum bands. The rest would be totally at his discretion.

 

I have friends who have e-mailed their significant others pictures of rings and have actually described, "I want four prongs around the diamond, this type of band, etc." To me, that takes away what makes the ring special.

[shadowplay]

I would much prefer to go and pick a ring with my partner. It would be a nice thing to share together.

[Seraphim]

I would much prefer to go and pick a ring with my partner. It would be a nice thing to share together.

 

I thought so too. At the time I worked in a jewelry store so I got a good discount.

[MizzGee]

I would rather pick out my own ring with him. My mother and I both agree, men buying jewelry often does not turn out well hahaha

 

Honestly, I'd still love whatever was picked out because he picked it out. But if given the choice...

[Snny]

I think picking your own rings is better for a wedding band (your most important ring). Just my personal take.

 

Before surprising the girl, definitely find out what she likes. My fiance took his time to find the right ring and it's small and perfect for my narrow fingers. Also, small engagement rings make it easier to get a nice wrap-around wedding band that compliments BOTH rings. Like this link removed

[metrogirl]

I would loved to be suprised.

[Moontiger]

Some guys couldn't pick out clothing/jewelry if their life depended on it. My dad was this way. The solution is to call up the girls best friend to help. Problem solved.

[Batya33]

We looked at rings together, I told him that I didn't want anything larger than a certain size, and then he did the rest. He picked out other jewelry for me that was all absolutely perfect and gorgeous.

[Kalika]

I would love to think that my boyfriend would pick out something I love, but I am not so sure.

 

I was previously engaged to my son's father and he proposed one day with a ring that I hated (it was a solitaire, I hate solitaires, and I didn't like the size either) and then sat there and told me he knew I'd love it.. (he also proposed to me in a rush, had not planned anything out, etc... one of the worst moments of my life I think..)

 

I would prefer that my current partner pick something out but I would at least want him to make an educated guess - I would be more than happy to show him pictures of some styles that I like and then just have him surprise me with whatever..

 

That being said, I am picky now - having one crappy ring/boyfriend, I am not going to say yes unless I know he poured his heart and soul into the effort.

[Firiel]

My husband and I picked out our ring together before he proposed. I wouldn't have it any other way. I am not a huge jewelry person, so I wanted something that I would really love but also something fairly inexpensive. It took a lot of time to find something that was perfect. I don't deal well with surprises, so I wouldn't really like that. Plus, I would never expect someone to propose to me if we hadn't already discussed and decided on it together.

[Eaudesource]

It should always be number 1. First, after being at the stage of proposing to someone it is very likely (or one should at least to some extent) know what their partner likes and what they don't. So it's never a shot in the dark. Next, almost all engagement ring dealers will undertand the risk involved and if not at least offer a full money back guarantee, they will honor exchanges should the woman want something else, so this is a non issue. And even if they guy is completely clueless, he can find a clever way in learning what his woman might like for an engagement ring. Walk around and shop around for fun well in advance of the proposal, check online, ask friends, family or relatives for opinions, there are countless options to be on the right track.

 

Sorry but number 2 to me sounds like a complete cop-out.

[Firiel]

It should always be number 1. First, after being at the stage of proposing to someone it is very likely (or one should at least to some extent) know what their partner likes and what they don't. So it's never a shot in the dark. Next, almost all engagement ring dealers will undertand the risk involved and if not at least offer a full money back guarantee, they will honor exchanges should the woman want something else, so this is a non issue. And even if they guy is completely clueless, he can find a clever way in learning what his woman might like for an engagement ring. Walk around and shop around for fun well in advance of the proposal, check online, ask friends, family or relatives for opinions, there are countless options to be on the right track.

 

Sorry but number 2 to me sounds like a complete cop-out.

 

I'm a woman, and I preferred to pick a ring out with my husband. We had a great time browsing together, and my ring means more to me because it was something we did as a couple.

[Snny]

Some guys couldn't pick out clothing/jewelry if their life depended on it. My dad was this way. The solution is to call up the girls best friend to help. Problem solved.

This is what my fiance ended up doing. My best friend knew my ring size and WHAT style would look good on me (she's also a very smart shopper).

 

I'm all about tradition in my culture. I don't want to think about the cost of the ring when I have to worry about a wedding band. Besides, I want my man to play the role of the provider more or I will not take him seriously.

[becomingkate]

We were standing in line at a grocery store check-out and I saw a wide gold band embedded with diamonds advertised on the back of a magazine. All I said was "Hey! That's the type of wedding band I want!"

 

Six months later, he took his little girl shopping and told her what type of ring I liked. She helped pick it out, and while I was still surprised, I was also impressed that he'd remember!

[OptomisticGirl]

We were discussing rings and he sent me a link to a ring he liked - it was perfect, one of those things you don't even realize you wanted a certian thing until you saw it. So I suppose I picked it out.