Coolcat1 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 I only see my boyfriend once a month or every three weeks at the very maximum, but this is not due to distance. We cannot call each other, text each other, or video chat in any way (he is being punished for a very long time.) How can we make this relationship work? Link to comment
chitown9 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Is he incarcerated? Need more clarification to answer...chi Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Is he in prison? Sounds more like she's a teenager and his parents have grounded him for months.. Link to comment
Coolcat1 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 Sounds more like she's a teenager and his parents have grounded him for months.. Yep, you got it. I wouldn't still be with him if he was in prison. Link to comment
RedDress Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 Do you see him at school at all? If not, I think the answer is "you can't". It's not really much of a relationship if you don't see or talk to each other... Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 What did he do wrong and how long is he being grounded for? Link to comment
Coolcat1 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 What did he do wrong and how long is he being grounded for? To be honest, I have no clue what he did wrong. He has been punished for a very long time now, though. We're both in our teens. Link to comment
Coolcat1 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 Do you see him at school at all? If not, I think the answer is "you can't". It's not really much of a relationship if you don't see or talk to each other... I don't really see him in school, and it hasn't started yet. Link to comment
mhowe Posted August 27, 2012 Share Posted August 27, 2012 To be honest, I have no clue what he did wrong. He has been punished for a very long time now, though. We're both in our teens. I think this is most likely an excuse. And that you really need to move on. Link to comment
Coolcat1 Posted August 27, 2012 Author Share Posted August 27, 2012 Maybe I should move on. Things were much, much easier when we were allowed to contact each other. Four months ago my boyfriend had a two-week mission trip to Peru. That's when these issues started. Then I went to Hawaii for a month. Right when I got home, his grounding started. Two months later, and still barely any contact. I slipped a call in when I knew his parents wouldn't be home, but that served to only make things worse. The only good thing is now he's been sending intermittent texts on his brother's phone saying "I love you" and "You're beautiful." Link to comment
blueidealist24 Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Maybe I should move on. Things were much, much easier when we were allowed to contact each other. Four months ago my boyfriend had a two-week mission trip to Peru. That's when these issues started. Then I went to Hawaii for a month. Right when I got home, his grounding started. Two months later, and still barely any contact. I slipped a call in when I knew his parents wouldn't be home, but that served to only make things worse. The only good thing is now he's been sending intermittent texts on his brother's phone saying "I love you" and "You're beautiful." Maybe you should take a break from the relationship and see how you both feel after his grounding is over? It can't be much of a relationship if you aren't allowed to communicate. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted August 28, 2012 Share Posted August 28, 2012 Sounds like he's either using it as an excuse not to talk to you. Or his parents really do have him grounded and you can't even talk to each other. Either way, you can't have a stable, adult relationship. Link to comment
Coolcat1 Posted August 28, 2012 Author Share Posted August 28, 2012 Sounds like he's either using it as an excuse not to talk to you. Or his parents really do have him grounded and you can't even talk to each other. Either way, you can't have a stable, adult relationship. That's very true. And if he doesn't even seem to want to talk to me when he does see me, it's not worth it. However, he was noticeably trying to show he cares the last time he saw me. Link to comment
JeckyllNHyde Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 I agree with the others. And it's also strange that he won't even tell you why he was grounded or what's going on. I think you'll only hurt yourself and this will end up more of a one sided relationship (seeing as he doesn't make much of an effort to talk when you do meet.) Link to comment
Me and myself Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 And his parents, are they aware of your relatonship? Link to comment
Coolcat1 Posted September 2, 2012 Author Share Posted September 2, 2012 And his parents, are they aware of your relatonship? Yeah, it's been two years that we've been together. Before, I was allowed to come over to his house often. However, it came to my attention that just yesterday his mother learned that he and I love each other and are in a serious relationship, and as a result, she now despises me and forced us to break up. She thought I was blackmailing him. Link to comment
Me and myself Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 And his father? He despises you too? Is tere any possibility to talk with them and try to find what happened with him? Link to comment
Coolcat1 Posted September 2, 2012 Author Share Posted September 2, 2012 And his father? He despises you too? Is tere any possibility to talk with them and try to find what happened with him? His mother basically controls his life. He cannot do one single thing without her permission. And if he breaks one rule or doesn't do one little thing, he is punished extremely severely. This time he cannot communicate with his girlfriend. And not that it matters, anyway, anymore...He told me he doesn't think he loves me the last time we spoke. Link to comment
shikashika Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 You said he was away on a mission trip. Is he, or is family very religious? Is this why? Some very religious people are against ( VERY against) dating until a certain age. Link to comment
Coolcat1 Posted September 2, 2012 Author Share Posted September 2, 2012 You said he was away on a mission trip. Is he, or is family very religious? Is this why? Some very religious people are against ( VERY against) dating until a certain age. No, he and his family are actually surprisingly not very religious. Although they attend their Episcopalian church every Sunday and are involved in its youth group, they are not strong believers. I think (bad as this may sound), my boyfriend went on the mission trip only to experience the culture in Peru and to do something new. Since his mother is extremely controlling, he is allowed to do barely anything. He has never been outside of the country before his mission trip. Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted September 2, 2012 Share Posted September 2, 2012 This does not sound like a healthy situation to develop normal relationship experiences. Why not back off ? Link to comment
Coolcat1 Posted September 2, 2012 Author Share Posted September 2, 2012 This does not sound like a healthy situation to develop normal relationship experiences. Why not back off ? I guess I should. I see him occasionally at school now, though. Link to comment
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