Hellhound1 Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 So i thought it was going great, i pretty much followed everyone on here's advice, blocked facebook and everyother way i thought she could contact me. Turned out i forgot texts woops.. anyway backstory. We broke up in september after 2 years of on and off, and we're both youngish, both under 20. We'd been exclusive to eachother but we broke up twice because of her tendencies to be a flirt with other guys. Should've taken the hint the first time. It finally came to a close, and i asked her to never contact me again, and for four months ive been iffy and tried to get over, its not easy because at times she was my my bestfriend as well as my girlfriend, and any problems i had i ran them through her, and the same the other way. I shunned most of my friends to be with her, and so really f'd myself up there, because when we broke up i had *nobody* to talk to about it, and even then i wasnt used to talking about intimate things with anyone but her. Now something i hate about myself is i get jealous, and im pretty sure i have anxiety issues, and might be depressed (but thats a long running issue from before her). She had a really rubbish upbringing where her being beaten as normal each night but she was too scared about her family being broken up to tell anyone about it. She was also raped when she was 12. Anyway we worked through these things together, we were friends for years before we got together, and pretty much knew everything about eachother. So when we broke up i knew she'd be having new relationships and lots of sex (she's hot and gets loads of attention) but i thought she'd be decent enough to keep herself to herself, especially because she knew how, well, bad i can get when all hell breaks loose. But i worked on these things so much for her. And i still work on them, im not perfect, infact far from it but i pride myself on how much i improved. I know nothing about her life, except for she has a new bf. I can deal with that, but getting over her isnt easy. Ive had some really good and really bad days. A couple of days ago went on a date, but it didnt work, im just not ready for a new relationship at all, and i think it set me back a bit. Then, literally a few minutes ago, i get a text which pretty much says "I've * * * * ed him btw". I havent even spoken to her for months and she goes and tells me something i didnt want to know and dont know how to deal with. I dont know what to actually do. Do i reply? How am i meant to move past this? Im feeling emotions i havent felt in months, im actually heartbroken again. Its undone everything. How could she do this to me? What right does she have to do this and tell me? Im now more upset than i was when we broke up.. Link to comment
bigbang Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Don't reply mate. She is trying to get a reaction from you... don't give it to her. If you reply to her, it doesn't matter what you say, she will know that it has hurt you. Don't reply and show her that you don't give a crap.(even though you obviously do). This girl is just childish and excuse my french but a b... Just keep walking and ignore her. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Don't reply mate. She is trying to get a reaction from you... don't give it to her. If you reply to her, it doesn't matter what you say, she will know that it has hurt you. Don't reply and show her that you don't give a crap.(even though you obviously do). This girl is just childish and excuse my french but a b... Just keep walking and ignore her. I second everything said here. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Just keep walking and ignore her. Do this and do not look back. She sounds incredibly immature. Link to comment
Hellhound1 Posted January 26, 2012 Author Share Posted January 26, 2012 Ahh so much easier said than done, i just want to ask her why she'd tell me that. literally feel gutted right now. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 IGNORE!!!!! She has many demons to deal with! Has she gone for counseling???? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Ahh so much easier said than done, i just want to ask her why she'd tell me that. literally feel gutted right now. She did it to hurt you! Does it really matter, anyhow! Link to comment
ewr Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Might have been the guy just being a guy texting from her phone....who knows. It happened, now you can get over it! Link to comment
bigbang Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 Ahh so much easier said than done, i just want to ask her why she'd tell me that. literally feel gutted right now. Be true to yourself mate. You don't want to know the reason because you already know, you just want to contact her. Don't give her the power, don't show her that she can control your emotions like a marionette, don't show her that she has you grabbed by the balls. Grow some and ignore her completely. Does it hurt? Absolutely, it should and it will. Just suck it up while you can and don't show it to her. The more you show her you're hurt the more you stroke her ego. And if you really don't know why she did it, well my friend, because she is selfish and is probably not happy and wants to make you feel bad to make herself feel better. You're better than that. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 She did it to hurt you because she's immature and mean. The ONLY thing that you responding or ever contacting her again will do is make her feel BETTER about herself that she can treat you so badly yet you think she's just so great that you'll play her game. Link to comment
toby17 Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 Actually I disagree with the other posters about responding. I think most responses would show she's gotten to you but silence also leaves her not knowing whether you got the msg (eg you could have changed your number) and it doesn't discourage her from texting you again. If it were me I would text back: There is something seriously wrong with you. It doesn't indicate that she got to you and it throws her behaviour back in her face. After that I would go back NC. Like the others, i think asking for an explanation is pointless. deliberately telling you she slept with someone else to hurt you is beyond messed up. It boggles the mind sometimes to think this is the same person you went out with, but I certainly hope you realize that you're better off without her. What wouldn't she do? Link to comment
FreeFallFeelin Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 That's pretty random of her to suddenly break NC just to reach out and kick you in the guts. I think the commenter that said it might be the new bf texting you from her phone might be on to something... You could just ignore it. You certainly aren't going to gain anything by wrestling with this. But, you could also send her a message back that says something very short and concise like "I don't understand why you sent me that disgusting text. Please don't contact me again.", then block her number so she knows you're serious. That way, if it was her new bf, she's going to think "what disgusting text is he talking about?" which may lead to her doing some detective work of her own (like looking at the texts sent to you). If it was indeed the new bf, and she finds out he's been sending nasty messages from her phone, his days are done. "One good turn deserves another", as the saying goes. Link to comment
Hellhound1 Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 Im pretty sure its her, she'd kill someone before she let them use her phone, but thanks for the advice Its a low blow and im not doing too well, would breaking NC really help? Well im back at square 1 with it all, and lots of scenarios are running through my mind and im actually feeling sick but ill stick with the never talking to her again idea i think. I though i meant more to her than that. Link to comment
thelastsong Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 I would just ignore it if I were you. No matter what you say to her, you're going to be filled with regrets (Should I have said anything? Should I have said this instead?), and it's clear she's fishing for attention. Don't give her what she obviously wants. Stick with NC. You'll feel better about that in the end. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 You'd be the bigger person by refusing to take the bait. What would be accomplished by asking her "why," other than stooping to her level? Link to comment
Hollyj Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 Im pretty sure its her, she'd kill someone before she let them use her phone, but thanks for the advice Its a low blow and im not doing too well, would breaking NC really help? Well im back at square 1 with it all, and lots of scenarios are running through my mind and im actually feeling sick but ill stick with the never talking to her again idea i think. I though i meant more to her than that. You will totally be feeding into the drama and stroking her ego if you respond. This is what she wants. Let someone else deal with this nonsense. Time to block! Link to comment
EgoJoe Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 Wow, you really hurt her pride by sticking to NC like you did. She did not expect that. This was a desperate measure to gain control over you again. Ignoring it is best overall. The only response I'd encourage would be to mock her and I am still not suggesting it. Link to comment
Hellhound1 Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 I like the mock her idea but i doubt that'd go down too well. The bit they dont tell you about relationships is the pain afterwards ahh well cheers guys, ill spend the next few days in a mood and hopefully be ok afterwards! Link to comment
stuka80 Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 hey you'll live man, just keep on keepin on. And like most other here have said, DO NOT respond to her...there's no point and she only sent you that to make you feel like crap and if you respond you would confirm her reasons for doing so. Link to comment
Chandra Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 If you respond it will give her the invitation to bait you more. IGNORE IGNORE! Link to comment
RitaTrue Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 Don't reply mate. She is trying to get a reaction from you... don't give it to her. If you reply to her, it doesn't matter what you say, she will know that it has hurt you. Don't reply and show her that you don't give a crap.(even though you obviously do). This girl is just childish and excuse my french but a b... Just keep walking and ignore her. I second everything said here. I third this position. Link to comment
e30fan Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 wow...what a cold b****. that's what she has to say after 4 months of not seeing her best friend? you're much better off without her i promise. Link to comment
Lansing Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 I am shocked by this too... Geez.... I think the safe bet is to not respond at all. Link to comment
Hellhound1 Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 Yeah ive had about an hour or two of sleep,, it's literally all I can think about. But I'm not gonna take the bait I was just thinking to myself to be careful not to knock my digital camera off the side, and this led me down a random though path right up to her having sex. Man this sucks. Link to comment
Aqua066 Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 Wow, you really hurt her pride by sticking to NC like you did. She did not expect that. This was a desperate measure to gain control over you again. Ignoring it is best overall. Agree with this 100% NC is having an effect on her. She is def trying to reel you back in, take back control and have her ego stroked. By responding you'd be giving her exactly what she wants... and throwing away 4 good months. I'm telling you its going to kill her that you don't respond. I will also say this... if you don't respond, I guarantee she reaches out to you again! Whatever you do don't take the bait! I would ignore every mean or stupid text from her short of an apology or something more personal of nature where she is showing true remorse and curiosity about you. Stay strong my friend. The tide has turned in your favor... Link to comment
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