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Really? You knew the three things that girls did to hurt me in the past. Leave me without warning, leave me without explanation, and leave me for another guy. You did all three at once. I know our relationship was super complicated but I did nothing to deserve this. You were laying in my bed Friday morning telling me you wished you didn't have to go to work so we could snuggle all day. At 6pm Friday you were texting me telling me you missed me so much and couldn't wait to see me that night. At 9pm, you were in his bed, with your phone shut off, ignoring me. I only knew what was happening because your facebook picture changed to you and him kissing the next morning. You couldn't even say goodbye. You couldn't even break up with me, no call, no text, no nothing. It's been a week and all you have done is put up pictures of you and him, no I'm sorry, no anything. You are an evil person.

Your a user. You left because you didn't want to deal with "life" here. You left with the cats, the clothes, everything I bought you, even all the sex toys that you probably use with him now... you left with it all and went home and started dating him a few weeks later. So now you have free living with your parents, a Casanova guy your in the honeymoon stage with, the cats, and all your friends. The easy life. I wasn't enough to stay here and try, you chose the easy road instead of me. You know..me...that guy you laid in bed with and EVERY night asked "promise to never leave me?"....that guy you said "your so perfect" to every morning when I would bring you breakfast in bed. Or maybe you will remember this one...I'm that guy that proposed to you...put that ring on your finger...that you then told "Oh my god...this is the best thing that ever happened to me, I couldn't ask for anything more"....then left me three days later? Remember now? I'm the bf that you told "I'm so sorry I cheated with him...but it made me realize how disgusting him and the life he lives is, I'm so glad you took me back because I would have ended up in his disgusting messed up jobless future-less life"...remember telling me that? You probably don't want to remember though, since your ****ing dating him now, kissing in your default pic. People post on this forum ENA all the time about how cute and nice and "different" their gf's are when in reality they are all similar, just being put on a pedestal...but I really thought you WERE different. All the whispers in the shower about how you could never imagine yourself with anyone but me. All the whispers in bed every night about how perfect I was, about how STRONG we were and that we could MAKE IT THROUGH ANYTHING....and then you took the easy road....yea, real strong. I know I wasn't the best BF near the end, but even during those times you were always the one writing me poems and letters about how strong we were, how no matter what you would never be able to make yourself leave my side. Remember the play fights we would have about who would have to leave who, because neither of us could ever leave the other? Remember the crazy sex we had, and how you always told me you would never EVER find another guy you could open up with in bed like me? Remember how nasty and hairy and greasy you said he was and how disgusting you said his pen** was? Remember literally physically shuddering when telling me those things about him? Yea you know him..THE GUY YOUR DATING NOW.... I still do hold guilt for what happened between us. I'm not saying it's all your fault. I did enable you to "waste" a lot of your life the 10 months you lived here. I know I just sat around with you for months, only going out to dinner and movie once a week, maybe grocery shopping once a week, maybe partying a few days a month... when you were supposed to be going out and having fun like any 19 year old girl should. I know I wasn't affectionate as I should have been. I know was over controlling and to uptight about going out and having fun. All these things are realistic and acceptable reasons for you to leave me. My problem with it, is that through all that stuff...you always told me how you would stick it out through anything...no matter what...and that you knew how you treated me in the past was WHY I was like that. NONE, of what I just said about myself, explains everything I wrote about you above though. I guess it's a common thing for people who were dumped like me to ask "how could you, after everything you said?"...but I feel like our situation, where you were always reassuring me, proclaiming your love me for every 10 minutes, reminding me of how strong we are, really makes it frustrating for me when I said "how could you". Also, after saying all those things to me, even up until the last day before you broke up with me and told me you didn't want the ring....you never even tried to contact me. It's been 4 weeks now NC and the only contact was when you texted ****** asking him to get money from me for your parents. No "is he OK", like you don't even care anymore, like the "easy life" you went back to and your new bf are SO great, that you just don't even care about me at all anymore, all that whispering in the shower, cuddling at night, crazy sex, it all means nothing, suddenly. I don't even know what to say anymore. I want you back, so so badly. But the more I think about how it happened, the most I get a burning feeling in my heart for you, and it is far from an "I want you back" feeling. I hope your happy. I really want to be vindictive and say I hope your happy with your "disgusting, hairy, tiny uncircumcised pen** (with the puke noise you made when telling me), jobless, loser" new boyfriend, because that is exactly how you described him to me after you cheated on me with him. I guess people can change? But honestly, I hope you are happy in life in general. As much as it kills me to say it, I hope you learned from our relationship and you find happiness in the future. I'll always wonder why I couldn't be the one you "learned" for, but that's a moot point. I'm going to perfectly fine, and I'm sure I will find a girl that will not cheat on me, and will not take the easy road when the chance arises. Wish you the best.

I knew you would get with him within a few weeks of leaving me. I ******* knew it. The kid you talked so much crap about. how nasty he was. How he hurt you so much in the past. I took you back even when you had sex with him behind my back a year ago. I gave you the benefit of the doubt. You told me it was the biggest mistake ever. And then I go look at your facebook and your kissing him in your default picture. 3 weeks after writing me those letters about how strong we are and how we could make it through anything and how nobody would ever compare to me, 3 weeks after I proposed to you and you told me how excited you were to be my fiance and how glad you were that I took you back after that horrible night a year ago because there wasn't anywhere you would want to be but in my arms....and now all that meant nothing? Your smiling in a picture with him kissing your cheek. Your evil. You honestly are evil. I know I didn't treat you as well as I could have but I damn well treated you better than any other guy ever did. the jealousy in me is writhing and I can't believe that I get to sit here through my birthday and Christmas without you while you get to be happy with the "nasty, jobless loser" in your own words. I still regret the way I treated you during the last few months, but seeing that picture so soon after everything that happened between us, made me regret ever giving you my heart. I still hope you are happy in life, from my heart, but you are evil inside.

remember when I would wash your hair in the shower every night? remember when washing your hair I would whisper into your ear how beautiful you were and how I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you......well I remember when I stopped doing that ....and I wish more than anything in the world that you would just believe me that I would do that every single night. I would make you feel how you told me that made you feel, every second of every day. I hate that you are just taking the steps needed to get over me because you think we just don't work anymor, and are probably talking to Brian or Mike now, thinking that it was the right decision because they make you happy like I didn't ....but your comparing them to the old me, not the person I am now...and it really kills me that your going to use them to get over me....when I know I could have made you 100zx happier than they ever will. I'm not in any way wishing unhappiness upon you, just hurting knowing I could make you so much happier. I can't stop thinking of amazing things to whisper to you in the shower....things I should have been whispering all along. I really miss you...and I do hope your happy, even a though I honestly think your making the biggest mistake of your life.

I would endure an hour of pain for every second of pain I put you through. I am so sorry for breaking my promises to you for over a year. You did cheat on me, but I made the decision to take you back out of my heart. You treated my perfectly after that, for a whole year. All I had to * * * * ing do was make out with you more, kiss you more, make you feel a little prettier, get off my * * * * ing computer and spend some more QT with you. If you came back I would help your get your license, take you driving every day until you did. I would enroll you in school the second we arrived back at this apt, which would then be OURS again. My life would not come first anymore, our lives would come equally. I wouldn't be over jealous about guys, and I wouldn't want to look through your stuff anymore. You deserve much more than I gave you over the past year, and it * * * * ing KILLS me to know that another guy, probably Mike or Brian, is going to get everything I want so badly from you right now. I miss you so much it's unbelievable. I find myself talking to your ghost out loud. Looking over at the passenger seat in the car where you always used to be. Saying your nickname "oogie" out loud, wishing more than anything in my life I got a response. I love you so much. I'm so sorry. I would give almost anything to take it back and start over, and show you what it's really like to be happy. I know your doing fine, Chris told me you seem totally fine and normal, no tears, no nothing. Just a week after writing me that "150 things I love about you" paper, and that other paper about how strong we are and how much you loved me and knew we would make it through anything.....and now, you are just a memory. What happened baby You said yes when I was on my knee. You seemed excited. You swore on your grandpas life that you were serious as ever and couldn't wait to start our new life as fiance's. What * * * * ing happened This apartment is so empty without you. The king size bed, so empty. I took a very special and precious girl for granted and I don't think I'll ever let myself down for it. I love you so much. goodbye Oogie