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Everything posted by stuka80

  1. i considered this of course. but i'm just going into this without getting too emotionally invested, its just dating for fun without getting too serious. then towards the end, if we both decide to make a clean break or pursue it further we'll take it from there, i'm leaving all options on the table.
  2. well right now with the craziness of the rioting going on in LA, its kind of on hold for now haha. we were originally going to go to a shooting range then go to my place for dinner and drinks but right now who knows.
  3. Here's an update; I ended up seeing her at work today and talked about it with her. I explained the situation and how i got irritated that she suddenly stopped responding with no explanation when we were in the middle of planning something and that was why i decided i didn't want to spend anymore time on a date as it gave a really bad impression to me like she didn't care. I was explaining it in a calm, matter of fact kind of way, not being accusatory, emotional or angry. She was apologetic and told me that she was talking with her mom who's in S. Korea and then after she said she was just tired and went to bed. But had she just told me that right from the start at 7am we would've been good. Anyway she did seem really apologetic about it and the talk actually was very good, there was no awkwardness at all. it only even lasted about a min, then afterwards the conversation turned light hearted and we got along very well. She told me she still wanted to hang out with me during off work hours and that we could start again. I was good with that, so there you go, turned out ok in the end. Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read and reply.
  4. I'm like this with people in general, not just women and i consider it a good thing. In my 20s i would get involved with people i shouldn't have gotten involved with and just generally led to things that were not good or just complete time wasters where i should've just walked away a long time ago. I would overlook alot of things that i shouldn't have overlooked just because it was fun. I would like to think i learned a thing or two and grew a bit wiser from those times about making sure i actually invest time and effort with people who are worth the effort to. As i mentioned, these days i've very little patience with people who i consider is wasting my time. Once i'm good with you, i can be very patient and understanding though.
  5. You're right i was being overt because we were at work, I hinted without being too forward that we were going out not strictly as friends. I told her i wanted to get to know her more outside of work(she said the same thing) and during the times we talked in person i consciously brought it up as a date in a light hearted manner as to not make it awkward but to also make sure she understood. Unless she was completely dense im pretty sure she got the hint.
  6. Thanks, i ended up telling her that i gave it some thought and its best we remain just coworkers, she asked me why but i didnt wanna get into some long conversation over text. She told me she does not have a US number, as she's an intern from South Korea so i told her we can discuss it when we see each other at work during a break or lunch. so we'll see how it goes. if she does offer an explanation i'll update it here if anyone is interested in knowing.
  7. I'm completely content with being single, in fact im not actively trying to date, the opportunity with her just came out of nowhere so i went for it. I dont have an itch to get into a relationship just for its sake. the reason i even brought up her looks is because someone else said they dont think i really lost interest and that i wanted to go on the date to see if she'll prove herself to me. So i brought up her looks to make a point that when its physical attraction you really cannot have any control on whether you can decide to drop it on the spot or not. For me it was a conscious decision to pursue her because her personality. So i could just as easily decide not to pursue her and there would be no lingering feelings of attraction. Physical attraction is way harder to turn off. So thats why i brought up her looks, it wasnt to tear her down. her possibly being less into me than i was into her was not a factor in deciding to cancel the date, it was that texting incident. i agree, however she told me she does not have a US number, as i mentioned she is an intern from overseas so the app is the only way we can talk to each other. otherwise i would've spoken to her over the phone directly.
  8. you mentioned yourself you didn't read the full story so i get why you would think that, you dont have the full information for why i felt the way i did.
  9. Looks wise she's ok, i never gave her a second thought at work until a chance meeting made us click with one another. i was fine with her communications until this incident for reasons i mentioned previously. as far as dating coworkers i fully agree, but she is only an intern and is temporary so i thought i'd give it a shot.
  10. totally with you on that, however the circumstances of the her not reading or responding to my messages made those reasons irrelevant in this case, i dont know if you read them but i made those points in previous posts if you want to go back and read it. she didn't explain in the response, as to whether she will explain when i see her in person remains to be seen, she would have to bring it up, as i'm not gonna mention a word about it.
  11. she didn't give reasons, i'll come up with them myself. and this early in the process, i dont have the patience to put up with it. you're completely off but you're entitled to your opinion. Isnt that what i said? Physically she's ok, but i wasn't drawn to her looks, i was drawn to her personality and it took a bad turn so the interest left with it. you're arguing a point i never made.
  12. yes, it was 5pm to 7am, lets assume 8 hours of that she was alseep, completely understandable in fact, i would've been completely fine with the entire thing if it were for the circumstances, i already wrote tons about it, you can go back and read them if you want.
  13. yes, the conversation was in setting up the plans and to confirm it when suddenly it just abruptly ended on her part.
  14. Exactly, she had no time at all to even send me a quick response saying "hey something came up talk later"? too many women out there for me to be making excuses for her as to why she left me hanging like that.
  15. i dont, im just going by my assumption of what happened since no explanation was given. but that was a bad first impression to leave me hanging in the middle of a conversation without an explanation. i'll leave this quote that i wrote down in the previous responses, maybe it'll help you guys understand where i'm comming from if you didn't read it already. Too many women out there who wouldn't pull this type of stunt before a first date. i'll go with my intinct and wont waste my time as well as hers.
  16. yes, you're right, my conscious thought of trying to be a person with integrity and doing what i say i'm gonna do is what causing me to decide to just go on the date and after that going our separate ways, but after reading a few responses, i believe it is actually better to just be honest with her and cancel rather than go on that date and giving her a false impression of it.
  17. as i mentioned, i try to do what i say im gonna do so i made that date with her, i intended to keep it despite my personal feelings towards wanting to or not. I wasn't drawn to her looks(as i've mentioned we'd been coworkers and nothing about her stood out for me physically, looks wise she's average, i never gave her a second thought until recently when we happened to interact during lunchtime) it was her personality that i was drawn to and made me want to pursue something more. Since the reason for attraction went down the tube so has my interest. i'm not hoping at all, i would have to care for that hope to be there, i honestly dont care anymore. im not saying it lightly when i say i cut out bs, especially from people who are not part of my life in a meaningful way. i have no problems walking away from people at all, based on my past experience its better than putting up with the bs to somehow get something out of it. im just sitting back and seeing if she does make up for that disrespect, if not oh well if she does, great we can start over. however i've decided to cancel anyway based on what people have been saying around here.
  18. thats my thought exactly. The thing is i'm perfectly fine when people take ages to responed if thats how they are. but in this situation it seemed she did it deliberately, that is what i take issue with. However, if she does ask why i'm cancelling the date i'll at least tell her.
  19. Alot of people here seem to think that i have some type of paranoia or i'm crazy cause i got mad that she didn't respond to my text fast enough. They dont seem to realize it was the circumstances under which it happened. IF we had not texted each other for some hours, then i send a random text and she didn't reply or even look at it for 14 hours I would completely understand and wouldn't cause an issue. Its pretty understandable why she didn't respond for 14 hours. She wasn't expecting a text at the time so didn't check her phone, perfectly reasonable conclusion, one i would completely understand. HOWEVER we had already exchanged a few texts back and forth at that moment when the reply or even viewing the message suddenly stopped. Something significant must've happened for her to suddenly be busy enough not to be on her phone at all for the rest of the day right? Thats what my train of thought was at least. after 14 hours i started thinking that maybe there is some kind of issue going on or god forbid she got hurt(not because im arrogantly thinking she would respond to me instantly, but because the situation overall just seemed off, who suddenly stops responding in that type of situation unless the person just doesnt care enough to or is playing games) but the next day, as i was expecting her to tell me something crazy had happened she just said sorry and followed up with a joke....ok... i'll have to just make assumptions. Based on people's responses, I've decided to go ahead and cancel the date, i'll just tell her that i reconsidered and i dont think it'll work out between us. thanks for the responses, it was appreciated.
  20. She's not a stranger but yea you're right, i will be cancelling the date and just explain to her i've reconsidered. the "one strike you're out" rule only applies to this one incident because we haven't even gone on 1 date yet. and yet i still would've been ok with it if she actually gave me a reason, leaving me hanging mid convo without an explanation given. Does she owe me one? no, but it gave a bad 1st impression. If this happened a few dates in, i would've given her the benefit of the doubt or not even consider it an issue.
  21. If its just she doesn't reply fast enough, then i'd agree with you, she's taken a couple hours to reply before and it never bothered me, didn't even give it a second thought. however the circumstances this time are different.
  22. True, but she gave no explanations, instead made a joke about it so i'll have to come up with my own conclusions. Seeing as its a first impression scenario, I would've at least given the other person a reason why i stopped responding mid conversation. I was even thinking something might've happened to her because it just seemed so out of place to suddenly stop reading my texts and responding for the rest of the day. I have no anger towards her, I'm just accepting that thats how it is and i'm moving on. after she responded in the morning and i had the time to process what happened thats the only time when i got angry. After that is when my enthusiasm for going out with her completely dropped off and decided i was done. I think you're right though, it seems worse going on the date with each other under different impressions, i will most likely have to cancel it.
  23. You're right it does sound disingenuous, i will probably have to just cancel and let her know i reconsidered. i'm already set with no romantic intentions, but i was going to keep an open mind to see if for example, she offers an explanation or shows strong interest. the 2nd part is just a confirmation that she is actually interested and that she wasn't just stringing me along because aside from actually accepting the date, she has been kind of ambiguous, meaning i'm the one always initiating anything so the late reply was a bit of a reinforcement on the "not really into him" side and i wanna see if thats truly the case in the date.
  24. I've already rejected but i will go with an open mind depending on the direction of the date as i mentioned previously. This is the course of action i'm planning on taking. I agree with unread message being better than read, however as i mentioned the circumstances was what didnt sit well with me. She had been on her phone and DELIBERATELY didn't read my message was it to deliberately keep me waiting? I dont know since she didn't offer any reasons i'll have to come up with my own conclusions.
  25. I think it would be worse if i bring up why she took so long to respond., i will definitely enjoy myself if we do end up going, as friends.
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