sally101 Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 Okay, for the short of it: -He broke up with me 3 weeks ago after 2 years for no real reason other that he needed some time on his own. I do not beg or plea, just give him space and leave him alone -He totally ignores me the first time he sees me a week after breakup. (we have to see each other at school) -He starts sending me "mixed signals" (ie. says he is still attracted to me, does not know if he made a mistake, does not like seeing me talking with other gusy,etc) -Next day he tells me that sorry for the mixed signals, it would not have worked out??? -Next day he pays alot of attention to me, flirts with me, and calls me last night to "ask about some homework" Okay....his best friend is also in the class, and the homework was not even something due tomorrow...it is due in a week. Why would he call ME???? I am doing pretty well, but am just getting fed up with my emotions being jerked around. Enough is enough!!! What is up with guys acting this way? Link to comment
lunatic Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 He sounds like a very immature guy. You stated that your in school still and that leads me to believe that your both very young. You have to stand up for yourself and tell him how you feel with this situation. Tell him your tired of his games and that your done with the relationship. It is time to move on... Good luck, Hubman 8) Link to comment
sally101 Posted September 7, 2004 Author Share Posted September 7, 2004 "You stated that your in school still and that leads me to believe that your both very young." We are 18. Yes, young, but old enough to know better! Link to comment
lunatic Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 I am sorry I never meant to offend you. I just meant that guys at that age really don't know what they want from life yet. Women do mature faster then men do. I remember I had the same issues back then with life not with my relationship. Hubman 8) Link to comment
sally101 Posted September 7, 2004 Author Share Posted September 7, 2004 Hubman, You didn't offend me I only meant we were not 14 or something....I agree completely, his behavior is REALLY immature. It is like he wanted to end it, but wants to keep me "just in case". Well, he is out of luck. I am just really mad right now....and fed up! Why do guys do this? Link to comment
lunatic Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 Hey Sally, You have every right to be mad at this guy. I think that your both too young for any serious relationships right now. I mean there is so much that life is offering you at this point to be settled down with one person. You should get your butt out there and live your life as you want to(as long as you don't hurt anyone). Trust me there will be plenty of men in your future so don't sweat this guy. Hubman 8) Link to comment
JonnyG Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 It is my opinion that he wants to find someone else, probably got tired of your relationship (not saying its your fault, just wasent working thats all). However he is keeping u on the side just incase he can't find someone else, hence why he is getting angry/nervous about u chatting to other guys. Don't let him mess u around. Tell him how u feel and that he has * number of days/weeks whatever to make a decisioin or your moving on. Link to comment
sally101 Posted September 7, 2004 Author Share Posted September 7, 2004 I know there will be plenty out there...but I was in love with him. He was also one of my best friends. This behavior is not the norm for him, or I would never have put up with it for 2 years..... I am just confused by this behavior. I really do not think I would want him back after this, because I don't think I would ever trust what was around the corner with him. But it would be so much easier if he would leave me alone. But part of me wants him to come crawling back so I can say, thanks but no thanks (now who is being immature? ) Link to comment
lunatic Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 I don't think your being immature by wanting him to come back so you can turn him away. He hurt you really badly by his actions and I think you want to hurt his feelings like he did to you. It is a normal reaction when your angry and hurt. I actually think your a very mature person for your age. I mean you can see that he is playing you even though your still blinded by love somewhat. I have to commend you on that one! Hubman 8) Link to comment
GymSweetie Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 Hi Sally, Age isn't the issue. Fast forward... I'm 44 yo and getting the same cr*ppy treatment from my BF. He just put "it" in the past (broke it off) w/me 6 days ago over the phone. Sez he still wants to be friends and.... Really cares for me alot, wants to be my shoulder to cry on or give hug if needed, wants me to call him, yada, yada, yada. Wants to see me 3 times this week at the gym (he's a 42 yo coach). Saw him last nite (1st time in 2 wks)...He brought his new GF in to meet the team. I came in while she was there. He ushered her out as soon as I got there & then ran over to me & told me he was interviewing her for a coach position. (my daughter said he introduced her as GF & they were talking about getting an apt together). He has always maintained that he didn't have time/money/energy for a traditional relationship. Why lie? Why send new GF away? And then try to come over & make me feel special. He broke it off with me. Probably is just trying to ease his guilt while dangling me on a string incase it doesn't work out. It's over. I'm sooo done. While she was there distracting him, my daughter peeled off the high bar doing her fly away & landed on the back of her neck & upper back landing in serious pain...Took her out an hr early. He acted like he wanted me to stay. She's been asleep since. I hope she didn't break anything. Link to comment
cassiana Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 He is immature. Age has nothing to do with it. You may be 18 but hes more like 8. Sadly as you and your dates get older you can expect more of the same. I once was chased by a man in his late twenties and after two years I gave in and he ran like the wind saying it was all a big lie. He still flirted with me when he was 36 but I got sick of it and ceased all contact with him, even ignoring him,. That was almost two years ago and he still says hi. He is now 39. Your guy thought, i'm bored, I want some fun but actually really liked you. He wants to have his cake and eat it. He wants you and to be single. Well he can't have it all his own way and only maturity will teach him that and you might be in an old folks home by then. Link to comment
sally101 Posted September 7, 2004 Author Share Posted September 7, 2004 "I want some fun but actually really liked you. He wants to have his cake and eat it. He wants you and to be single." This is SO true!! He has continually told me since the breakup how much he likes me.........?? Thanks Cassiana and GymSweetie....makes me feel better that alot of guys are like that...and these guys actually think that by using this "sweet-talk" we will become all weak at the knees and wait around for them???? Give me a break! YES, I was in love with him....YES, he broke up with me and left me totally devastated, but most importantly, YES, I have enough respect for myself not to want to deal with him anymore. Link to comment
lunatic Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 I only have one thing to say to you. BRAVO!!!!!! :shocked!: =D> Hubman 8) Link to comment
NotGay,Really Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 Good for you, Sally. I have a dear lady friend who is separated from her husband. They broke up after he informed her had been unfaithful off and on for ten years (all the time while married). She tried to make it work, but he was, frankly, nuts, saying he wanted to be able to continue in their marriage, while having others "on the side." After they separated, he went on a sexual bender, and would tell her about his exploits, leaving her sickened and morose. Then guess what happened this last weekend? He suddenly had a revelation that he really, really, truly loves her and his kids. He wants to come home. He wants to be married. He will give up his outside "others." He will...be good. And he can't figure out her response: leave me alone. So yes, men will veer back and forth, saying I love you and then breaking your heart. You cannot rely on others for consistent emotional nourishment. But don't let that stop you from following your heart. Best wishes to you. Link to comment
rich46 Posted September 7, 2004 Share Posted September 7, 2004 I don't know why some ex's do the whole mixed-signal thing. I think they like the attention and they probably have no idea just how hurful it can be (or maybe they do?). I'm glad to hear that you're not going to deal with him anymore...he sounds like he likes to play around with your emotions and that's very unfair. They do it for purely selfish reasons, i.e. they want to keep you hanging by a thread in case they don't find someone or something 'better.' image removed Link to comment
sally101 Posted September 7, 2004 Author Share Posted September 7, 2004 I don't know why some ex's do the whole mixed-signal thing. I think they like the attention and they probably have no idea just how hurful it can be (or maybe they do?). I'm glad to hear that you're not going to deal with him anymore...he sounds like he likes to play around with your emotions and that's very unfair. I really do not think he is doing it on purpose. I think that everytime he thinks he has pushed me too far and has lost me totally, that he starts it (the flirting, etc.) again. Then, when I come back to him a bit, he is gone again. The old rubber band theory. Very immature on his part, and this is what I just cannot deal with anymore. It really took him 3 months to make up his mind to break up with me in the first place, so I think he has been unsure all the way along with this. But now the damage is done. Link to comment
Mun Posted September 14, 2004 Share Posted September 14, 2004 I wish I'd seen this thread sooner. Whoever said age had nothing to do with it is right. It's immature behavior at any age. I got the same "mixed signals" from a 34 year old, divorced, father of three children. All I can say is that it was a good lesson and I don't plan to waste my time on someone like that again. Now I think I can spot them a mile away and at the first mixed signal.. I'm running.. eat my dust chicken-man!! Link to comment
lunatic Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Now I think I can spot them a mile away and at the first mixed signal.. I'm running.. eat my dust chicken-man!! HAHAHA You had me laughing so hard with this comment. Thanks for the laugh... Hubman 8) Link to comment
Mun Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Hubman, I'm glad you found it amusing. We can all use a laugh sometimes can't we? Link to comment
lunatic Posted September 15, 2004 Share Posted September 15, 2004 Muneca, Your so right that we all need a good laugh sometimes. Hubman Link to comment
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