Seriously? - A slight dating rant from one of the ladies.

[Shakeybones]

I really don't exert a lot of energy & emotion into dating, because I'll be honest with you it really just isn't worth the dance. I'm not what you would call a very traditional type guy anyway. I don't believe in always paying for my date and shelling out my hard-earned cash for somebody who's just looking to cashout on a meal ticket. You have to pull your own weight too. I'm only going to call if I know I'm getting a phone call back and I ain't going to cater to you just because every other guy has. I'm not going to chase you, ask you out repeatedly or play stupid games in an attempt to prove myself to you.

 

^THIS HANDS DOWN....im a guy, 22 going on 23 and this is exactly how i feel about all women my age... ALL OF THEM... (im keeping slight hope there is a different type of gal, but im very skeptical right now)

[Batya33]

^THIS HANDS DOWN....im a guy, 22 going on 23 and this is exactly how i feel about all women my age... ALL OF THEM... (im keeping slight hope there is a different type of gal, but im very skeptical right now)

 

 

From my old age (and almost 25 years of dating experience), dating is hard enough without having a negative mindset about whether there is someone right for you. If you feel that a woman is going out with you just as a meal ticket then don't date her. But don't assume she is just because she accepts your offer to pay. And make sure you involve her in the decision as to where to go so that you don't end up somewhere where she can't afford to pay her own way. But, definitely, if you feel that you have to chase a woman or cater to her in the negative way described then work on your attitude before you try to date - you wouldn't try to develop a friendship with someone if you felt it was going to be that one-sided so why would you consider dating that person?

 

I think it's fine to tell someone up front that you prefer to pay your own way as long as it's not said in a way to make the woman feel like she was going to take advantage of you unless you said that. If you say it in a direct, respectful way (like you'd want to be treated) then I'm sure it will be fine. If you say it in a defensive or cynical way then you won't know if the woman is declining because of your attitude/vibes or the financial reason and that would be a shame if she were a good match for you.

 

My number one reason for saying no to dates was because I sensed (or was hit over the head with) a negative attitude or vibes. 99% of the men I went on dates with offered to pay and 98% of them declined my offer to pay my own way. I didn't consider first meets from the Internet to be a date so I always assumed we'd pay our own way or if we met for coffee and he wanted to treat me to a $2 coffee I didn't see it as a big deal either way (except that he got a gracious, sincere "thank you" from me).

[Shakeybones]

lol sorry for the misunderstanding, but i was referring to this part

 

I'm only going to call if I know I'm getting a phone call back and I ain't going to cater to you just because every other guy has. I'm not going to chase you, ask you out repeatedly or play stupid games in an attempt to prove myself to you.

[Batya33]

Thanks for clarifying -I still have the same comments about your attitude - does it have to be that hostile/negative?

[Dusk1983]

i'd wonder why i was attracting a consistent pattern of disappointment into my life. there's something to it. one common denominator.

 

You're not allowed to say that. Relationship woes are always caused by players, cheats, rats and losers. Women play absolutely no part in these failures.

 

As with many women around the OP's age that are posting similar experiences on the forum (and elsewhere), there's all too often a failed marriage or two in the locker. Sorry, but anyone who's failed at marriage once, let alone twice, needs to be looking at THEMSELVES before painting the opposite sex with broad brush strokes. And I don't just mean your ability to love and commit within the marriage, but way before that in your process of selection. And don't tell me 'people change and turn into someone they weren't before', because that, again I'm afraid, is an indictment of YOU, your instincts and your impulsivity.

[Shakeybones]

Thanks for clarifying -I still have the same comments about your attitude - does it have to be that hostile/negative?

 

well, currently yes it does have to be hostile and negative (until a girl comes along to change that view, or i find one... whichever comes first.) im keeping a slimmer of hope there is one out there, but i am not going to be betting on it.

 

I can honestly say, i was a nice guy before...thought the most of women in the highest regard, thought i should treat them like queens, make em feel like the only girl i wanted etc....BUT NOW AFTER SO MUCH BS... I can give a rats arsse....Im no longer chasing, im no longer trying to prove myself.. if you want me, show it too me... if not GTFO.

 

sorry if it sounds hostile, but with the current crop of women 18-23...(thats all i know so far)... i dont think there capable of being mature AT ALL

 

 

(i feel like this now too... guys dont start out as bad-boys... it's a series of stupid girls...that causes them to become one)