Elsewhere Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 This guy is obviously interested in sleeping with me and it's the first time i'm ever considering having a non-bonding sexual relatonship. I just have noone around (besides him) that i'm attracted to and can't remember when I last got some action. I've been lonely for so long that better some "love" than none. And I'm feeling my chances of getting him to like me are bigger the more time we spend together - and that won't happen without sex... Do you people think it's completely impossible??? Link to comment
Generation Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Can FWB ever turn into anything real? Absolutely. Happens a lot of the time from what I see. Depends on factors or course, and both parties' intentions and whether they develop something for another. It's totally possible. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I'm not a psychic, but I see a lot of hurt and pain in your future. Link to comment
delicous Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Keep spending time with him..go on a couple dates. Don't be easy, guys don't like that unless you are seriously only interested in his penis, which is hardly ever the case. Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted November 3, 2011 Author Share Posted November 3, 2011 Can FWB ever turn into anything real? Absolutely. Happens a lot of the time from what I see. Depends on factors or course, and both parties' intentions and whether they develop something for another. It's totally possible. OK then I'm doing it! Thx I'm not a psychic, but I see a lot of hurt and pain in your future. I know. But how is it different from what I'm feeling now? Being alone with noone to call and sweet talk (a gazillion of friends can't fill this gap) for years now. Trust me it hurts too. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I know. But how is it different from what I'm feeling now? Being alone with noone to call and sweet talk (a gazillion of friends can't fill this gap) for years now. Trust me it hurts too. I think you should really think about your self-esteem if you are going to go into a situation knowing you are going to get hurt. Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted November 3, 2011 Author Share Posted November 3, 2011 Keep spending time with him..go on a couple dates. Don't be easy, guys don't like that unless you are seriously only interested in his penis, which is hardly ever the case. If that was so easy... if the talk only gets lively when we talk about bedtime then you cant really keep meeting for coffee only Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted November 3, 2011 Author Share Posted November 3, 2011 I think you should really think about your self-esteem if you are going to go into a situation knowing you are going to get hurt. I'm too old (late 20s) for my self estem to suffer, really what do I have to loose? I'm hurt by being alone and the only thing is I can win a few fun evenings. No? Link to comment
greywolf Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Yes, it's possible, but don't count on it. Link to comment
greywolf Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I'm too old (late 20s) for my self estem to suffer, really what do I have to loose? I'm hurt by being alone and the only thing is I can win a few fun evenings. No? No one is too old to have their self-esteem affected. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I'm too old (late 20s) for my self estem to suffer, really what do I have to loose? I'm hurt by being alone and the only thing is I can win a few fun evenings. No? If you are old I must be dead. I think forewarned is forearmed. Link to comment
calichick007 Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 This will not end well. Link to comment
Ready4anything Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I say trust your instinct, but just be prepared for whatever that happens because there is always a chance for it to go south whether it be fwb or a new relationship. Also if something doesn't go your way, owned up to your decision and don't blame anyone else. Link to comment
Rosee Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Men don't usually fall in love because of sex but women can because we release that bonding hormone. Don't go into it thinking it will turn into something - it's not outside the realms of possibility of course, but you might be setting yourself up. I totally understand the temptation, do what you must but keep your head on straight! Link to comment
chitown9 Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I'm too old (late 20s) for my self estem to suffer, really what do I have to loose? I'm hurt by being alone and the only thing is I can win a few fun evenings. No? Hmmm....you could win getting an STD. Link to comment
Snowy Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Don't have sex with him with you want a serious relo. Link to comment
TheVP Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 Here's what will happen to you if you go this path: You'll be giving out sex in exchange of the possibility of future love. You'll be learning all of your friend's fetishes and preferences and working harder to please him in these ways while telling yourself that he's going to start loving you soon. In the meanwhile, he'll be on the lookout for other opportunities. One day he'll come home and say "Hey old buddy! I've great news for you. I've finally met the right one! Here's her picture and we're going to get married soon. Aren't you happy for me? Well, she won't like our current arrangement, so thanks for the good times ol pal." Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I think that a FWB turning into a relationship is the exception rather than the rule. It seems illogical to me that a person would want to be in a relationship with a person who says initially that I have no desire to date you, only sleep with you. Link to comment
Elsewhere Posted November 4, 2011 Author Share Posted November 4, 2011 Words: "I dont want a relationship, I just want sex" have never been said. I'm just reading from his behavior that he's really interested in getting to know my body more than personality Also, I think he would've have a gf if he wanted - someone more from his world (he has a career and connections, me - neither). Link to comment
Batya33 Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 He's not an FWB -he's just a potential sex partner -you're not close friends to begin with (otherwise you would know exactly where he stood as far as his intentions towards you). Let's put it this way - if you wanted a certain job very badly and the person making the decisions agreed to spend time with you only if you had sex with him, would you do it and tell yourself "well this is the only way he'll get to know me and see if I am good for this job" -no of course not. Being in close proximity to his body isn't going to make him want you more as a potential girlfriend. In fact it will probably make him want you less because he'll figure out that you want more and are settling for scraps -and that's a big turn off. Link to comment
Glowguy Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 It's been awhile for me too and I'm in the same frame of mind so I know it's probably very tempting. Women usually get more emotionally attached with sex so I'm a little worried for you. If this is your first time doing this then if might not be a good idea. Tread carefully here. You are getting good advice and things could get really messy. Link to comment
indigoblue Posted November 4, 2011 Share Posted November 4, 2011 He's saying you're good enough to have in bed but not to show off in public. Link to comment
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