lanaa Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 This guy has cheap written all over him. He's going to quickly use up soon to be expired concert tickets so they are not wasted, and he couldn't spring for a coffee. It really does say a lot about him. Sorry I go back to my original stance and say "Seeeee ya!" I agreee its so unattractive when guys behave like this,,,,geeez Link to comment
Batya33 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Did you meet him through an on line site? Then your meeting was not a date and I don't think even the traditional dating rules apply. I don't think financial security has much to do with generosity or cheapness I know people who have nothing who insist on treating their friends whenever they can and people who are wealthy and will always insist on separate checks or make a point of asking to be paid back the smallest amount no matter how small the expense and no matter what the context. That's not always "cheap" -it might simply be conservative or cautious but having more money doesn't typically affect financial values. Link to comment
DylanNotorious Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Maybe he's had bad experiences with woman who were gold-diggers or something. But still.....the way he's going certainly isn't going to impress any woman on the first and second date! Link to comment
Generation Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 If I were him, and I knew you made a thread like this or considered the thought that you were upset that I didn't pay for your coffee, I'd ditch you. Is that seriously a prerequisite for attraction to take place? That's just shallow. While I could choose to pay for you and it would be a drop in the bucket, I do not see you on a pedestal and I'm not on a leash. Not that I would have to be in order to choose to pay for you. So let me clarify something. That's not to say I've never paid for a girl before, infact I do many times, but that's because they've either impressed me with their persona a few times already, were short on cash (which I'm fine with), or I really value our friendship that even the fact that they earn a higher income than me, I still want to offer to pay to show my gratitude and appreciation. Likewise, if a woman offers to pay for my coffee or dinner, I won't reject their offer, I'd set up another time or date in which I can pay them back, and make her obliged to come out again. What I'm trying to say here, as a man, our role shouldn't be to pay for someone's coffee as a given. It's certainly not written in stone in my books. Just like how if a woman wants to pay for me, I'm not so strung up on my ego and pride as a man to deny her kind gesture, nor would I feel emasculated at all. It's very humbling for a woman to offer something like that, and sometimes we need to take a step back and just let them. Link to comment
im sandra dee Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 His conversational skills have impressed me so I was going to let this coffee thing go. And as for the comedy club thing, I figure he did pay for them before and he's not expecting me to pay so.... what do you think? Give this guy a chance?? Link to comment
r0ckox Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 What is it with people and coffee anyway? How does "Getting a cup of coffee" equal a date? I'm not a coffee drinking so I never understood that. Anyway, it shouldn't be a big deal that he didn't pay. It's been covered already I'm aware, but still. Link to comment
25something Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Oh how cheap is this guy, coffee is like the cheapest date. I actually prefer to go on coffee dates if a guy asks me out, seriously if he doesn't pay for your coffee then don't go out on a dinner date . There are tons of men out there that will pay for your coffee! I can tell you this, MANY WOMAN don't like cheap men, most of the time the people that will disagree with me are the cheap arse guys who aren't gettin laid cuz they're wayyyy too cheap. CHEAP MEN = NO SEX Link to comment
Generation Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 His conversational skills have impressed me so I was going to let this coffee thing go. And as for the comedy club thing' date=' I figure he did pay for them before and he's not expecting me to pay so.... what do you think? Give this guy a chance??[/quote'] Save him the trouble ditch him. You're not his type. Oh how cheap is this guy, coffee is like the cheapest date. I actually prefer to go on coffee dates if a guy asks me out, seriously if he doesn't pay for your coffee then don't go out on a dinner date . There are tons of men out there that will pay for your coffee! I can tell you this, MANY WOMAN don't like cheap men, most of the time the people that will disagree with me are the cheap arse guys who aren't gettin laid cuz they're wayyyy too cheap. CHEAP MEN = NO SEX I don't see it as being cheap. I don't see coffee as a means to sex either, to refer to your last sentence. Link to comment
im sandra dee Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Save him the trouble ditch him. You're not his type. I'm not his type? He has talked to me on the phone for hours on four different nights. The first three times before we met and once last night after we met. He texted me first thing this morning to tell me he's gonna call me again tonight. He told me that he likes me and that he likes talking to me. He said that I'm a very attractive woman. He has been making a mental list of all the things that he wants to do with me... the list sorta got compiled as we talked about things we had in common. He seems really nice. The coffee thing did throw me for a loop. Am I upset? No, but it just makes me wonder, that's all. Link to comment
25something Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I don't see it as being cheap. I don't see coffee as a means to sex either, to refer to your last sentence. Well did you read what I wrote or are you confused? It has nothing to do with coffee, being a cheap man will not get you laid is all that I'm trying to say. Link to comment
Generation Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I'm not his type? You're certainly not his type if you let this bother you. There's something about an independent woman that is such a turn on, the type of woman who wouldn't let this make or break another date, especially if the conversation and everything else went well. You want my real opinion, give him a second chance. Although I really hate saying "second chance" because that makes the implication that he did something wrong, which I don't think he did. Well did you read what I wrote or are you confused? It has nothing to do with coffee, being a cheap man will not get you laid is all that I'm trying to say. Heheh, sorry, I'm gonna bite my tongue. Who else is thinking what I'm thinking? Alright, I get what you're trying to say, but it came out so wrong. You guys should really re-evaluate what it means to be cheap, and that's probably not it. A man should not have to be obligated to pay, and that's a matter of principal. Link to comment
im sandra dee Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Well did you read what I wrote or are you confused? It has nothing to do with coffee, being a cheap man will not get you laid is all that I'm trying to say. well........ then....... I guess it's a good thing that he didn't buy my coffee because I don't plan to have sex with him unless we're in a committed relationship....... thanks for pointing out the sex thing.... Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Well did you read what I wrote or are you confused? It has nothing to do with coffee, being a cheap man will not get you laid is all that I'm trying to say. Your post makes it seem like women are prostitutes. Instead of paying actual cash for sex, he pay for meals with credit card and what not for booty. Link to comment
dimps Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 yes he should of most definitly paid for ur cofee.. u dont want a cheap date Link to comment
somethngwrng Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Well did you read what I wrote or are you confused? It has nothing to do with coffee, being a cheap man will not get you laid is all that I'm trying to say. So... the idea is we have to pay for sex? Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 ??????????????????????????? I'm sorry, but I don't think a $3.45 cup of coffee and sex should even be in the same sentence. There should be no correlation here. Nor a $75 dinner. it should be about getting to know each other and liking each other, not negotiating a price. Link to comment
Generation Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 accident double post... please delete this post... Link to comment
im sandra dee Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Ok, I was not the one to mention sex here. Can we please stop talking about that? I had no intention of having sex whether or not he pays for coffee or other dates. I want to get to know him. I do like him so far. The coffee thing just seemed off but I will overlook it. I want to know more about him. His list of ideas for future dates also appeals to me whether or not they involve doing something free or otherwise. The point is to spend time together so we can see if this can develop into something more serious. Link to comment
25something Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Your post makes it seem like women are prostitutes. Instead of paying actual cash for sex, he pay for meals with credit card and what not for booty. LOL..........you know what I mean so stop trying to contradict what I was originally saying. Go eat some popcorn already! Link to comment
Princess123 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 IT IS JUST COFFEE! Everyone can pay for their own coffee. It's less than $5 and him not offering may sound cheap. & yes him not offering to pay while being at the counter is the strangest thing ever. But even being next to you is sort of gentleman like than waiting at the table. Maybe he had a bad experience with a female making a scene about him paying for a coffee. Maybe he didn't want to make it look like you couldn't afford your own coffee. It could just be a simple mistake. Now next time he doesn't at least offer to pay then you can get upset. My way of thinking is dutch. It's not even someone you been dating for a while so paying your own way, in my opinion, is the best bet. I never expect a guy to pay and I really don't think much of it if a guy doesn't offer. When a guy offers that is when I'm like aw how sweet but I can take care of myself. The gesture is nice when it's there but it's NOT mandatory. You can only tell if someone is cheap from a few more dates. Guys who are "cheap" are so obnoxious I can't stand em. I wouldn't even be friends with them. Link to comment
25something Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Sorry Sandra dee I had the urge to mention that, I will officially remove myself from your thread. lol. Good luck on whatever you do =) Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 LOL..........you know what I mean so stop trying to contradict what I was originally saying. Go eat some popcorn already! Been munching on a bag of popcorn to see where this post goes. Care to join? I'll pay.. Link to comment
Generation Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 Sandra, you've got something good going for you it seems. We don't want you to let something so small as coffee to ruin it for you. Yes, definitely overlook it, and see what he's all about. Also, a successful relationship in my opinion, is one where both parties pay for each other or themselves. It's not one where one personal (usually the man) is invested in it all the time, financially. That leads to more problems. Independence. To be able to support yourself. It has nothing to do with being cheap, stingy, frugal, etc. It's simply a matter of principal. Link to comment
im sandra dee Posted October 5, 2011 Author Share Posted October 5, 2011 Ok, I'm now fine with it. I remember going out with a guy who paid for everything yet he wasn't at all financially secure. This man I met yesterday told me that he is financially secure so THAT is more impressive than paying for my coffee. I just put into perspective when comparing him to past men. Paying for someone doesn't mean you're a good catch. Link to comment
sophie274 Posted October 5, 2011 Share Posted October 5, 2011 I don't think it matters at all. Before you two met for coffee, you were basically a stranger to him - no reason why he should treat you in my opinion. The point is not the coffee, it's getting to know one another, and if you liked I think it's a big shame you'd let this stand in the way of seeing him again. As for the tickets to the comedy show - I can't believe some people are saying he is cheap. Why shouldn't he use them if he already has them? He should what, throw them away and buy tickets to something else to prove how much money he is willing to spend on the OP (even though they just met)? If a guy told me he had bought a Groupon to X type of place a while back, and it was going to expire soon, and did I want to go with him, I'd be perfectly content. I think the comedy show sounds like a fun date. Doesn't matter if he bought the tickets intending to go with his ex - if he's over her he won't be pining for her while he's there with you! Link to comment
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