How can someone just leave you for dead when you've been there for them so many

[SorrowandPain]

Haha reading this thread, and seeing how hung up you are on a girl that has so many flaws...I look at myself and think "Why the hell did my ex dump me?! I wasn't THAT bad." O.o Sorry. A bit rude I know..

 

Anyway, I agree with Endy. Both of you have alot of work to do! Both of you are equally at blame. It's not just one of you. I think when you reach where you want to in life and you're in a happy place, you'll feel ready to share that with somebody who's on the same wavelength as you.

 

A part of me still wants to help her, be there for her, and guide her to become the person she wants to be and make the changes she wants to make. However, that isn't healthy. I felt like I was a parent/life-coach too often during our relationship. The cliche is correct: you can't force people to change, they have to do it themselves. It's not my concern anymore but it makes me a little sad what's going on with her. It doesn't seem like she's being responsible at all and she's just doing anything to immediately gratify herself. She's drinking all the time and presumably not working out, blowing through a ton of cash, thinking about quitting her job because her managers don't respect her and talk behind her back because she does a bad job. She has definitely put school on hold, again. She was telling me that if she doesn't register for this fall semester, she will have to do a bunch of standardized tests to get into any community college because she is like 3-4 years removed from high school and that's just how things are here. Whatever. Not my problem anymore. I can't be in a relationship with such an unequal distribution of power. It's about a partnership and sharing each other. This was not our relationship.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Your own words showed that you didn't value her (or she you), that you dumped her repeatedly, and you're angry because she finally left you. I get that it hurts, I just don't think tearing her apart is the way forward. You obviously were not a good mix, and you are accessing her private accounts using her password - that's wrong, and not good for you.

 

I get that you want to lash out; I get that you want sympathy and acknowledgement that you are in the 'right'. But does that matter? This was a deeply unhealthy relationship, you looked down on her and now it's over. It's time to stop logging into her online accounts, and stop comparing yourself to her new man. It's time to focus on YOU. You have to stop logging in as her - I would tell her to change her password, to be honest.

[SorrowandPain]

Your own words showed that you didn't value her (or she you), that you dumped her repeatedly, and you're angry because she finally left you. I get that it hurts, I just don't think tearing her apart is the way forward. You obviously were not a good mix, and you are accessing her private accounts using her password - that's wrong, and not good for you.

 

I get that you want to lash out; I get that you want sympathy and acknowledgement that you are in the 'right'. But does that matter? This was a deeply unhealthy relationship, you looked down on her and now it's over. It's time to stop logging into her online accounts, and stop comparing yourself to her new man. It's time to focus on YOU. You have to stop logging in as her - I would tell her to change her password, to be honest.

 

Tearing her apart is not the way to move forward. It's just part of the process I'm going through. The best way to move forward and what I'm trying to do is learn from my mistakes in our relationship (and they were plentiful) and move on. It's obviously easier said than done. Regarding facebook, my actions are absolutely pathetic and morally abhorrent. It's a compulsion that I can't stop just yet. I think I can stop now but I won't contact her. I need to do this on my own accord.

 

I would be lying if I said I'm not comparing myself to the new guy but it's funny because this guy is a bizarro me. He's almost like my clone. We look the same, have the exact same name first name, his middle initial is my last name's initial, he is educated and he is working at company I used to work at a few years ago.

[SorrowandPain]

This post is maybe for sympathy. Maybe I just need to vent. Maybe I just need to write this down...

 

My parents aren't bad people. They simply didn't know better. They have worked hard to give me the life I have today but I had a bad childhood. My mom was very emotionally immature and still is. She just isn't too bright. That's part of the reason I had one foot out with my ex because I was worried she would end up like my mom. Both don't seem too bright, both get flustered very easily, both aren't respected by others, both keep messing up on very simple things. Here are some things that happened to me:

 

- When I was 3 or 4, we lived in a seedy apartment complex. My dad was never around because he worked at many work sites and very long days to make ends meet. My mom was an unfit mother. I begged her to let me go swimming BY MYSELF at the apartment's pool. She let me go and remained in the apartment and did whatever she was doing. I, in my underwear, jumped in and started to drown. Luckily, there were people around and they pulled me up. I was taken back to my mom and she said: "Look what you did! You wanted to show off? Serves you right."

- At around the same age, my mom would "sample" various items while at the supermarket. I remember asking her if I could try some candy. She said sure! She would "sample" apples or whatever. Then one of the undercover security guards pulled her aside and the cops came. I, along with my sister were put in the cop car while my mom was being interrogated in the back. I didn't know what was happening. I was bawling my eyes out. The cop eventually took me to the back where they were interrogating my mom. I wouldn't stop crying. I distinctly remember one of the store workers trying to calm me down by showing me the cold from the fridge. We were then put in the cop car and taken to the precinct. My sister and I were left waiting in the car while they processed my mom.

- My mom would always say that I was "useless." Whenever I did something wrong or not to her approval, she would scold and yell saying: "YOU'RE SO USELESS!" I remember trying to dial a phone. I couldn't do it because I was so young. She would scold me and tell me I was useless and then make me stop. She would always say to my sister (in a condescending manner) that her brain is filled with grass.

- My dad was never around when I was young. Tough to blame him because he had to work. He worked like 16 hour days sometimes not coming home because he would have to sleep at the work site. When he did come back, I would think "who is this man?"

- At around 5, we moved to a better area. Unfortunately, being immigrants, I was different from everyone else. I think I got along fine with people mostly but being so different couldn't have helped.

- My mom would throw temper tantrums when my sister and I did something "wrong." I remember breaking a glass snowball and she threw a fit, crying and yelling "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!?"

- Sometimes, my mom would pretend to die for about 30 min if my sister and I did something she didn't approve of. "YOU KILLED ME!" she would say and then lay there for about 30 min. My sister and I were so scared.

- My parents fought A LOT. There wasn't any violence but there was a lot of fighting.

- Whenever we did something "wrong" such as dropping something, my mom would scold us and blame us for what we did.

- My dad used to have a very bad temper. He frightened me. My sister and I were also disciplined harshly. We we get spanked, slapped in the face, and whipped with a duster when we did something wrong.

 

Those are just some of the things. It's not wonder I suffer from such crappy self esteem. The reality is, I am a smart guy. I graduated from university. I am very fit. I am not bad looking. However, I am never good enough or at least I feel this way. I always have self doubt. I always fear failure. Many times, I feel like I am going to fail before I do anything. For me to have accomplished what I have accomplished and not have turned to drugs is almost a miracle. When I go to clubs or bars, I always have that feeling that I'm not good enough and no woman would want me. I don't like who I am, I self loathe. I am depressed. I have been doing talk therapy for years but I don't think I've made any improvements.

 

After this debacle with the ex, I vowed to change. I can't live like this anymore. I always obsess about the worst case scenario. I create situations in my mind of some impending doom and that the universe is out to get me. I really worry that I can't change. I am trying. I am reading. I want to read as much as I can. I know my issues. But what happens if I can't shake them? I can't live like this anymore. The thing is with my ex, she knew all this and stuck around but she eventually left. I think to myself: "If she leaves, who else would want me?" But the fact of the matter is, if I don't fix myself, I won't be happy and I won't be happy in a relationship. I realize that I didn't like HER so much as I liked her being my life-line. She was always there wanting to nurture and comfort me. I did a lot of crappy stuff to her, said a lot of nasty things, acted like an immature imbecile but she always stuck around. She always begged me to come back when I left. It speaks to my unfilled need of emotional nurture and care that was devoid from me during my childhood.

 

All this is why I can't shake her. It's only been a month (almost exactly a month) since she dumped me and 2 weeks since I found out about bizarro me so hopefully it's just a time issue. Is there hope for me? 7 years of therapy and no help. Granted, I wanted to be miserable. I said to myself, my ex and my therapist that I'm destined to be unhappy and it's who I am but now I know I can't go on like this anymore. Can someone tell me if I can change? I need to. What I'm doing now isn't living. I want to be better. I need to be better. I'm just scared that I can't be better.

[endy]

go read my book thread. Man, you've got a lot to work through. I also, had a lot to work through and am basically through it. GET those books in there and start working on it. You're codependent, have an abandonment issue, low self esteem, low self worth, and depression. You CAN heal yourself, but you need to start believing in yourself. WE all attract like to us. If you give out love all the time, that's what you're going to attract. To do that you need to love yourself. You can change, the mind is our most powerful tool. It's what enables us to love. It's going to be a lot of work for you to get there. A lot, but you need to start with constantly thinking positively no matter what. Things will begin to change in your life for the better. Use this as an example.

 

I started using the Law of attraction to get a house. Well I started 2 months ago after looking for a year. Guess what, I basically have a dream house on a lake in my hands, after I work on it I will make 40 to 60k on it. That was what I concentrated on first. When it's time it's going to be to attract someone like me.

 

I still have doubts about myself, that's normal though. Most of the time I am completely positive, confident, and loving now. I was not like this before especially in a relationship. I felt I had to "do" things for other people to make me valueable or make them love me. STOP that if you do that. Put yourself on the pedestal. If you ain't doin you, you ain't doin nothing. Put it that way. There's so much work for you to do, that you want to take at least 6 months and be single. Start reading, do those exercises in the book. I can tell you are. Work through the resentment of your mother and father. Know that they both were doing the best that they could. KNOW that you can heal your life and you will. Believe it, and start living it. You were part of a cycle, they were like that because of their parents as well. Have compassion, understanding, insight, and love for that. It's a cycle, and now that you know that... You can break that cycle for your children.

 

Honestly, this is why I am still here. It breaks my heart when I can help people that I know that I can help and wouldn't be able to if I was gone. It's part of love to me. I CAN'T help my ex. She doesn't know she needs help, and neither does yours. It's part of her path too, to learn all of what you're learning on her own. Just like it is for mine. Some of mine have learned over the years, and some of them have not changed at all. They are the same person. You can't help someone this way, or care anymore until they ask for it. So stop the caring, and wanting to take care of her. Which trust me, I wanted to too. That's WHY I clinged and pined for so long.

 

Know that they have a path. Be thankful she was in your life, because if she wasn't you wouldn't be here, and you wouldn't be realizing all of your issues. So thank her, Love her, and let go. It's time. The winds of change are blowing for you, and you're going to be a MUCH better person because of this whole experience. Be thankful and grateful to the universe for this. READ my book thread. Get whatever you think you need to, but I encourage you to take your time and work through the exercises in all of the books. Once you get to an understanding of who, and why you are the way you are... You CAN change it. I would encourage you to read the secret and the power once you get to that book. Start applying that to your life, and positive things will start happening. When you love yourself, and love others properly, you attract what does the same. Just like right now when you were broken, you attracted a broken person (your ex). Until she realizes she is broken, and OWNS those issues... and does what you are embarking on right now... There's no future for you two. With knowing that wise up, and do what you need to do.

 

I'm proud of you for reading the book. I'm proud of you for wanting to learn, and having the courage and strength to look inside yourself. Most people don't right away like you do. You're on your way, it's a long path, but have faith, believe you'll get there, and you will.

[SorrowandPain]

Endy,

 

Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately, I just can't get into the Secret or The Power. Those books just aren't for me.

 

This is part of the reason why I fear that I can't change. The Susan Anderson book on abandonment is really good but I just can't buy into the exercises. I have a hard time believing that they'll work for a variety of reasons. Even my therapist thinks the exercises are a bit of a stretch. It's kind of like I know what my issues are (especially with my education background), the Susan Anderson book has given me more insight, but now what? I know what I have but what if I can't change? With all that said, even though books like the Secret aren't for me, there is definitely a truth in its message in that you have to think positively. Now I don't believe in the laws of attraction (the way she describes it) but clearly my negativity is not the way to go. You defeat yourself with such toxicity from self-doubt. It's easy to say "sure I'll think positively" but my brain isn't wired that way.

 

I will finish the Susan Anderson book, read that Getting past your break up book and then go from there. I truly appreciate your help.

[SorrowandPain]

Also endy,

 

I will be reading stuff on eastern philosophy. My friend has been discussing some of its tenants with me and perhaps they will help me. It's really important to be in the moment and not worry about the past or the distant future. Perhaps that will help with my self doubt. I just need to do rather than think. Easier said than done obviously. I'm also going to start mediating. fMRI studies show that it truly does transform the composition of your brain. I NEED to get better. I can't live like this anymore.

 

Again, I am truly grateful for your time.

[two0609]

wow toxic man, and you kind of treated her bad, so karma came to get you.

[two0609]

if you love people you treat them right, and dont take them for granted.

[endy]

wow toxic man, and you kind of treated her bad, so karma came to get you.

 

For one, karma in eastern philosophy is strictly about your intentions. So who are you to judge him? You're here to live and learn. For two SP if you study eastern philosophy you will be able to help with your self doubt. If you reach deep enough you will have your own insights. The fact that you are already realizing it comes from your parents speaks volumes. It doesn't matter what God you believe in, or the universe etc IMO. If you're wise enough you'll notice they all preach the same. Love. That is it. If you believe you can or can't... Either way you are right. That IS the law of attraction. Positive thinking will give you what you want. But you have to KNOW it's going to change, not just expect it to. Your life is what you make of it. There's other books out there, but they all preach the same thing. If you can't do the exercises you don't have to. You really need to get over blaming others now because you KNOW what caused it. Once you know you can't ignore it.

 

With that said, you take whatever path you feel comfortable with, that's going to get you there. If you don't want to read those books then don't. If you want to practice eastern philosophy I suggest anything by Thich Nhat Hahn. If you really practice it, it will transform your life. I'm not a buddhist, but I do agree with their way of thinking. Really if you look deep enough inside yourself, it's going to be more about forgiveness. Forgiveness for everyone including yourself. Only then will you be able to love yourself the right way. A lot of people think the LOA is a crock. If you don't want to think of it that way don't, but you definitely need to start thinking more positively.

[SorrowandPain]

Endy,

 

I feel truly lucky to have met been graced by your advice. In fact, this whole process I can think of a ton of positives. My friends have been here to support me. My parents have supported me. I was even able to get appointments with my therapist on short notice (I did not see him for a few months prior to this debacle). Without this all, I don't think I would have survived. I still don't know if I will survive this but I will fight to the bitter end to cast away my inner demons.

 

What you say about being more positive and being filled with love is 100% correct. I'm tired of being so negative and hateful. It's so toxic. I will check out that Thich Nhat Hanh book. Thank you so much.

 

On a related note, I got someone to set a password on my computer to block facebook. It's obviously not fool proof but it's so much easier than being able to access it without restriction.

 

I swing back and forth all the time with regards to her. One moment I realize she isn't right me for, the next I internalize and blame myself for so much wrong I did. I think that sure, I may not have been happy with her but at least I had her and I could have made things better. It's only been 2 weeks since I found out about the other guy so I guess wounds are still fresh.

[SorrowandPain]

These lyrics by Eminem really hit home. His is about drug addiction but it applies to me because whether it's drug addiction, depression or whatever, it's all self injury, dark and painful. I need to get better:

 

And I just can't keep living this way

So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage

I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons

I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground

I've had enough, now I'm so fed up

Time to put my life back together right now!

[endy]

Take it easy on yourself... Those em lyrics are good (I'm from Detroit area) lol. Those are positives, and on the same note it's normal and you KNOW it's normal to go through what you're going through. The problem is you have to stop blaming yourself here. It's not completely your fault, and it's not completely her fault. Like I said you were both broken people. The relationship just wasn't going to work until you BOTH realize that you are broken people then change that. That is just the reality of it. You two were stuck in a never ending cycle. That cycle would have continued until you both do the work to change it. You are, and you are in the process of changing that already. You're going to get there. It's going to take time so be patient.

 

The wound is fresh, but now you know what you are going through and why. When you know that it causes understanding. Understanding, leads to insight, and compassion... Then and only then you can love. Love heals all wounds. Good luck man, you've got a lot of work to do.

[SorrowandPain]

1st full day of not accessing her facebook!

 

Endy, 3/4 of the way done the Susan Anderson book and it has been great. I'm starting to come around to the idea of the exercises but everytime I try doing the visualization exercise, I see myself 5 years from now doing the job I want to do, being the better person I want to be but I'm with my ex who is a better version of herself! I've tried picturing other stuff but it all goes back to being with her. Not sure if it's going to work. But reading the "outer child" inventory definitely hit home.

[SorrowandPain]

4 days sober of her facebook. I still have urges but I won't give into them.

 

This process has been extremely up and down. Some hours I feel great and others I feel like complete crap. The past 2 days have been especially tough. I've gone from hating her for what happened to really really wanting her back.

 

No one should have to deal with this type of pain.

[SorrowandPain]

Also, I am almost done the Journey from Abandonment to Healing and the chapter at the end which talks about Lifting has made me very discouraged. It seems like the whole premise of the book is you have to address your abandonment issues, work through them, care for yourself/be self-reliant, and emerge to become a better you. But in the lifting chapter, it seems like she does a complete 180 and says that we should find someone who is on the same level as you with respect to emotional issues and will nurture and care for your emotional issues such as neediness. I don't get this at all. So I was in a co-dependent relationship, now I have realized my issues and where they likely have stemmed from but she says that you can't/shouldn't ignore "little you" (your basic needs) and should find someone who is on the same emotional level as you and will nurture these issues. If that's the case, what point is there to improve yourself? With his reasoning, my co-dependent relationship wasn't bad at all and I should get into another co-dependent relationship.

 

I'm so confused right now. I was so hopeful at the beginning of this book but the end of it really has made it sour.

[SorrowandPain]

I'm currently training for an event right now and I'm not progressing at the rate I want to be and it seems like I've already hit a wall. I am plagued with self doubt and at times like these, the ex would always be there to comfort me and say "awww baby. My baby... I know you can do it." I would often reject it and tell her to stop calling me "baby." I miss it so much right now. I want to break NC but what good would that do?

[SorrowandPain]

One of my major issues is de-valuing things. Once I have it, I marginalize it. I mean with my ex, there are tons of reasons as to why I would have marginalized her affection (her faults that made me not respect her) but it's an ongoing theme with me. I pine for it when I don't have it, but when I do, I reject it. This is obviously an unhealthy defense mechanism. I hope I can change.

 

Also, would be great if people can reply just to show some support

[SorrowandPain]

So I'm sooooo close to breaking NC right now. Even though she doesn't have a care for me at all because she's all into bizarro me, I feel so alone and need her. Someone please slap some sense into me.

[SorrowandPain]

lol well after 15 days of staying sober from her facebook, I logged into her facebook on Sunday and haven't been able to stop checking. It's like a full blown relapse.

 

It's so stupid because I know she isn't right for me but I kind of want to "save" her. She's such a mess of a person. She was talking to her ex from 4-5 years ago about the new guy and basically things aren't going great. She really wants the new guy to be her boyfriend but he keeps giving her the run around by saying stuff like "let's not put a label on this" and "let's just go with the flow" which is making her really upset. I don't know what she is doing. She said to the ex "we have a lot in common" but then right after that, she said he (the new guy) doesn't get her humor. In fact, it seems like he's already getting sick of her crap. She said that when she rants or goes on and on about something, he'll pretty much tell her to stop talking by saying: "OK, CONVERSATION OVER." It's kind of funny because she said to me: "He's everything to me that you never were!" but just 1.5 months into it, he's already telling her to STFU.

 

One thing that should turn me off even more is the way she's talking to this ex. She's really into the new guy but in that conversation with the ex, it started getting kind of sexually explicit. She was telling the ex how good her BJs are and then the ex was telling her that he has been having a lot of random sex with girls and she was asking the ex to get into details about what he's doing during the sex. Today, the ex had a facebook status saying "Hungry!" and she posted on his wall "Horny!" Not sure why I can't get over this mess of a person.

 

As well, when she was with me, she always said how much she disliked Abercrombie and Fitch clothing but because the new guy wears that stuff, she recently just bought 4 tops for herself to wear from Abercrombie and Fitch. She is such a sycophant.

 

I wonder if she'll end up having sex with that ex.

[Lithp]

Wow.

 

Dude.

 

Just stop it. You need to move on with your life. You are obsessing over her and as much as you would like to save her, you can't. You can only work on yourself, and focusing on her and her issues, what she's doing, who she's with, isn't allowing you to do this. She sounds like a mess - what does it matter to you if she sleeps with her ex? She very well might, but that should have no impact on your whatsoever. Focus on yourself. Why do you want someone like that? I know you feel you have a connection with her that you won't find again, but look at her actions. Have some respect for yourself and get therapy if you need to, but stop dwelling on her immediately.

[SorrowandPain]

lithp,

 

Thanks for your reply. It's so stupid. I am obsessed. She is not worth it. I know all this. I am in therapy. I haven't contacted her for about a month and a few days and I stopped accessing her FB for 15 days prior to Sunday but I caved. The only thing she had going for her was her loyalty but clearly that was all a sham so I need to move on. I wish I could cut something out of my brain to make me move on.

 

I also feel like texting her telling her I love her. How sick am I?

[Lithp]

Also, I didn't mean to come off as rude if I did at all. I really just hate seeing people allowing themselves to hurt like that. It really upsets me to see others in a position where they are not only hurting themselves, but continuously doing things that will dig them further and further into the rut they're in.

 

Do not text her. I know you know this already, but just in case Don't!

 

You need to realise the power you have over your situation, and put it to use. Take things day by day - only focus on the 'present', the now, and what you can do to manage it. You want to text her and tell her you love her? Why would you do this to yourself? She is moving on - she's with someone else, and flirting with her ex. She is a toxic person to be around, and you should be glad to be out of that situation. Now you can focus on you and bettering yourself as a person, and she can continue bringing other people down. Luckily for you, you won't be playing a part in that.

 

Good for you for getting help through therapy. Seriously, just take things day by day and you will come to realise that you don't want her in your life. As you start to grow, you'll wonder what was so attractive about her in the first place. Work through your weakest moments, and pretty soon you'll be rid of them entirely. You CAN do it.

[SorrowandPain]

No worries lithp. You didn't come off as rude.

 

The stupid thing is, I don't even find her attractive at all. I didn't find her attractive for the longest time. She's overweight, lazy and not very bright but all I can think about is how "close", how "loyal" she was, and how I want to save her right now. Of course, it seems that the "closeness" and "loyalty" was probably just due to her co-dependency so it wasn't real at all.

 

It's like everything about her was a lie. I come from a science background and am a skeptic by nature and she "changed" to match my views. She told me that she believes she encountered alien spaceships not once but twice when she was younger and I was trying to explain to her other more logical explanations. I was also very turned off by these views of hers (let me just qualify my comments by saying that I do think there is intelligent life somewhere in the universe because of its sheer enormity but UFOs flying around the skies are a huge stretch) so she claimed to do reading and said she doesn't believe it anymore. But guess what happened? When I was snooping on her facebook a few weeks ago she sent the new guy a youtube video of UFOs and said it's "super scary." Clearly she lied to me for 2 years and still believes that she saw alien spaceships flying around in the sky. It's clearly a pattern with her as she is now buying a ton of Abercrombie and Fitch (a brand she claimed she hated) in order to appease the new guy who is a huge fan of the brand.

 

I feel like I'm infected with some sort of brain disease that is making think so stupidly. Granted it's been only been a month, I hope that in another month, I won't pine for her anymore.

[SorrowandPain]

Well today was a tough day. Was pining for her for most of the day thinking about our "closeness" and how I want to save her from all her inner-demons. Then I start to think of all the crazy sexual stuff she's doing with the new guy and I start to feel sick in my stomach.

 

I know what I need to believe and do but it's so difficult to internalize and truly believe it. I keep thinking things like "How could she do this to me when I was always there to comfort her?" and "Maybe what we had was a farce if she could just drop me like that and then be so attached to this new guy and want him to be her boyfriend so badly even though things aren't going the greatest." I know I'm supposed to think "IT DOESN'T MATTER, IT DOESN'T MATTER, IT DOESN'T MATTER!" but it's so tough to internalize it.

 

I said to my therapist today: "how could she have dropped me like that and not care at all? How could she fall for a new guy so easily?" He replied: "You gave her a lot of practice. You withdrew from her and ended it so many times but then kept letting her come back." It's true. I wish I would have listened to my friends and just ended it on my terms when I wasn't happy and realized she wasn't right for me. Instead, I couldn't just completely abandon her and it ends up biting me in the ass.

 

I wonder if she did all her grieving over me in April when I ended things and we were "separated" for a month. I mean even though I "ended" it, she was so depressed and suicidal I let her talk to me for comfort because she had no one else. I kept telling her that I couldn't keep doing that for her because we both needed to move on and I didn't want to give her any hope that I'd take her back. But of course, after a month or so, I took her back. I wonder if that was the time she did all her grieving so she doesn't need to do it now? Or is it she just repressed all the emotions involving me because the new guy is around and these emotions will surface sometime in the future?

 

Anyone have any thoughts? Actually I have a thought. I really should stop caring what she thinks or what happened in the past.