justaglimmer Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 I watched a movie last night that ended up reminding me of him and I absolutely cried my eyes out, and from that point, I ended up crying all night. I guess all it takes is that one little thing to pull you from the "zombie" phase and then the tears don't really shut off... at least for awhile Link to comment
justaglimmer Posted January 4, 2011 Author Share Posted January 4, 2011 It just sucks because I don't want to be "suddenly single". I don't even really like being single. I don't have many friends so its not like I can just go out with them all the time to "get a little crazy". I am in no way looking forward to being single. I wish I could have the "yeah! at least now I'm free!" attitude, but I don't.. not at all. Maybe it will come with time? Even though the relationship was quite rocky, I can't help but hate being out of it somehow. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 Wow MissS - It was boxing day for me too .....we are on the same break up cycle.Its a shame you live far away. X Bah, it's only a distance of 8-10 hours!!! The same distance from here to San Diego! ;P Link to comment
Lonewing Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 It just sucks because I don't want to be "suddenly single". I don't even really like being single. I don't have many friends so its not like I can just go out with them all the time to "get a little crazy". I am in no way looking forward to being single. I wish I could have the "yeah! at least now I'm free!" attitude, but I don't.. not at all. Maybe it will come with time? Even though the relationship was quite rocky, I can't help but hate being out of it somehow. You and me both, you and me Both!! I don't even like getting "jsut a little crazy" - I'm crazy enough without the liquid help!! It takes a while to get to the point wher eyouc an fly again - but just saying "I'm free" is a great way to start recognizing that you DO have wings!! Until then, there's my favorite demotivators poster: It has a picture of a penguin waddling rhough snow, and the caption says "LIMITATIONS: Until you spread your wings, you'll never know how far you can walk." Get your wings back!! Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted January 5, 2011 Share Posted January 5, 2011 lol! i hate being single too. I dont enjoy dating. ive loved him for 5 years, even though we were on/off. i know this time is for good too. but i am devastated. i cried today and last night for the first time in 4 days - i thought i was done crying Link to comment
bananabread Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Week 1--Obsessively looked at my phone for texts, repeatedly checked to make sure the volume was up. Puttered through the house crying. Week 2--Started crying at work! EVERY DAY! Was so lonely so spent more time with friends. Started drinking wine at night. The alcohol deepened my depression. Gave it up. Decided to take a week's vacation off of work. Week 3--Stopped crying, got mad, was on breakup forums all the time for distraction and support. Felt better. Would spontaneously curse him during the day startling other people. Week 4--Ignored his text. Felt proud of myself. Decided to accept the flow of things and see where they went on their own. Week 5--Started noticing other good things in my life. Realized if I told strangers on a forum my story, they'd objectively see all the poo I'd been putting up with. This gave me perspective. Realized he wasn't a prize. Missed him but began questioning my low standards in men. Week 6--Got really curious about me. Why *DID* I put up with all that? Why did I lie to myself about what he is (a cheater)? Started reading more about women like me. Week 7--Missed him like crazy. Texted him. Got terse replies. Felt stupid. Forgave myself and went back to focusing on me. Link to comment
justaglimmer Posted January 6, 2011 Author Share Posted January 6, 2011 Week 1--Obsessively looked at my phone for texts, repeatedly checked to make sure the volume was up. Puttered through the house crying that's definitely where I'm at right now! this is the longest I've went without hearing from him. I'll be pretty interested to see where I'm at come week 7, but I'm sure it'll be quite similar to how you're feeling right now too, bananabread. Missing him but doing the best I can The thing about me is that I'm a college girl, but a very different one than most. I don't like to party and mingle and "hook up". I'm strictly a "relationship or nothing" type girl when it comes to guys, and I let them come to me. At the same time, I take my time with relationships, but once I love someone I love them with everything I have to give. I love having good friends but I'm not the type to keep a group of gals to just bounce from party to party with. I never really wanted to go through that phase. I'm goofy and have a great sense of humor, but I'm just not a "woohoo i'm single lets go out and party and look for hotties cause i'm young and free!" type of girl. If that makes sense lol. Don't get me wrong, I'm not uptight and I know how to have fun and not against hanging out at a bar every now and then, just that I don't like to live a very "fast" lifestyle. I can be just as content at home with my best girl friend, cooking and watching a movie and having good conversation. Lol i guess I'm rambling, my point is that a lot of people handle things by going out and getting all crazy and wild and they're suddenly like "hells yeah, singlee!!" and I'm just not that girl lol. And when it comes time that I actually do date again, Lord help me! haha I am soo awkward on first dates, I don't know what it is but "dating" absolutely terrifies me sometimes! Link to comment
bananabread Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I love having good friends but I'm not the type to keep a group of gals to just bounce from party to party with. I never really wanted to go through that phase. I'm goofy and have a great sense of humor, but I'm just not a "woohoo i'm single lets go out and party and look for hotties cause i'm young and free!" type of girl. If that makes sense lol. It does make sense. The good news is you'll likely process and move on faster from the breakup because you're not burying it, suppressing that it actually hurts, and avoiding the feelings under the guise of partying. You're meeting it straight on. Brava. It takes guts. But you'll be rewarded for it. Link to comment
justaglimmer Posted January 6, 2011 Author Share Posted January 6, 2011 It does make sense. The good news is you'll likely process and move on faster from the breakup because you're not burying it, suppressing that it actually hurts, and avoiding the feelings under the guise of partying. You're meeting it straight on. Brava. It takes guts. But you'll be rewarded for it. Thanks bananabread. I definitely want to just keep being honest with myself and not sugarcoat the healing process with false temporary cover-ups. This has felt like a week straight from hell, but I'm going to try to follow heartbroken310's advice and try to at least do one productive thing a day. Gonna start small though. So far I've managed to spend time outside with my dogs, and today I took a long shower and tried to eat a little more than I have been. I'm gonna start writing in a journal tonight before I go to sleep, as a way to write it out and cry it out. Its another night of not hearing from him. Link to comment
Jewels7 Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 justaglimmer... you sound so much like me lol. Oh, and I've never been the journaling type. Well, I started that and it does help. Link to comment
sunday2010 Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Hi When I broke up with my ex-boyfriend a coupl of years ago, I remember being in that exact state of mind that you describe - zombie-like. Knowing that everything has changed, but not quite feeling it... This might seem really cliché (but it is true), time is your friend here. After some time the realization will come, and you will cry, and then after some more time you will be ok I spend my first couple of days lying on my bed listening to the radio (and all the sad love songs in the world). Eventually I took up running - it was a nice way to get out of the house, and being active helped with all the frustrations... I hope this helped... yeah i experienced the same zombie like symptoms from May last year.its a strange feeling it took me so long to get right.. I'm now 9 months out and alot better... some days are still hard but they are few and far between and i'm moving forward. i think" time" is defintely the friend here i thank god i'm not back in those dark dark days i'm so determined to kick ass this year and make the wrong things right again... in the early days i always put me first and pampered myself...it was about doing what made me happy god knows i needed to look after me because nobody else would. good luck..... Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I'm on week 2 and i'm drifting from zombie-state to crying.got to go back to work tomorrow. Link to comment
Annamary Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I so recognize all the stories, the zombie state...the cry state..... allthough i only cried about 6 times after all these weeks (am i weird?) it's all bottled up and i feel physically pain...pain in my stomach! I thought i was doing fine until... I made a mistake at week 6 i saw him online and said "hey wassup" i never expected him to be on...i thought i was healed enough to make this big gesture on my behalf..since he was the one wanted to stay friends and i was the one NC...anyways it was a mistake he deleted me LOL......trust me DON'T CONTACT HIM! It sets you back to square 1 Link to comment
justaglimmer Posted January 6, 2011 Author Share Posted January 6, 2011 Thanks for all your input everybody! That zombie phase for me is in and out now. I've been crying a lot and just want to stay in my bedroom forever I wish I had the energy to work out, but considering I have no appetite and haven't been able to eat much, I'd probably faint if I tried to do my usual workout routine. I know I need to get off my a.s.s though before its permanently flattened out like a sheet of paper haha. I'm in mourning though, I have the shades pulled tight right now and my mother is trying to get me out of the house with her and I just don't feel like it Maybe I'll force myself to go though, maybe try to eat at my favorite restaurant and at least get some food in me. Congrats on making it this far sunday2010, thanks for sharing, and definitely good luck to you and everyone else with this new year ahead of us. Annamary is right, contacting can set you back like crazy. I was sooo tempted to make contact last night, so I wrote in a journal instead about how I was feeling. It helps, give it a shot guys. Link to comment
iwannarun Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 After 12 weeks, I can honestly say I'm HAPPY. Everyone's noticed that I'm much happier, even my ex (this past week he has been talking to me, and since our breakup was a...different kind of breakup, I'm perfectly fine being his friend) and my friends' parents. It's taken awhile, but I am ok without him. Yes I miss him, but I am happy, and I didn't think I ever would be. It gets better, it really does. Link to comment
Aether Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 For me week 1 was spent barely moving, I couldn't think, eat, sleep, nothing. It really did feel like I was dying, I had no one else around me at this time except him though and he did his best to give me emotional support, he was good with that...it's a shame he couldn't have given me that when we were in a relationship... Since we still lived together for 3 weeks after our breakup and things were as they were before I never count those 3 weeks into the breakup even though I went through all the hell that everyone does. I only started counting the weeks since I came back to my country, that's exactly 1 month today... Link to comment
Annamary Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 I lost 3 lbs allready and i do eat...maybe i think too much? Just don't feel like ALOT..sometimes i do sometimes i don't it's like getting nervous you feel it coming..sometimes you can nipp it in the butt...sometimes you don't and you go mental...i have found out that i can handle stress better with a full tummy...never knew that...so my advice would be..go eat spagetti or so...extra energy for your brains! And lots of chocolate Link to comment
miss_sunshine86 Posted January 6, 2011 Share Posted January 6, 2011 Wish me luck I've spent nearly 2 entire weeks lying around doing nothing since the break up and I have to go back to my 12 hour shifts (Work) and my uncomfortable flat tomorrow..aka : reality. Link to comment
Annamary Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 Good Luck Heartbroken...will the people were so sad about and miss having the same feelings too? I wonder that sometimes.. Link to comment
Starrgrl Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I cried a great deal. Was numb and frozen. Slept through the first 3 or so weeks, to get away from the thoughts and pain. That was the only way I could somewhat escape. Bummed around for 3 or so months =( Link to comment
DanUK Posted January 7, 2011 Share Posted January 7, 2011 I didn't really, but what helped me the most was listening to songs, and talk to other people about it. I find helping helps alot. I also started to feel better when I knew I had to change. And I've started these changes in my life. I still hope we can get back together, just if we rush into things it would end up with us breaking up again. I know I need to change before we meet up again. Just thinking these thoughts has helped me alot. Link to comment
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