Feelings I feel on Christmas/feelings you feel on Christmas?

[1MoreChance]

I feel sad: sad that I am alone, sad that my brother and sister didn't answer my emails and fb messages, that I sent them yesterday. I feel lonely. I feel like Christmas makes no sense because it hurts to be alone.

 

I feel angry at my mother for going south each winter and leaving us around Christmas. I feel angry that she insists in reminding me to call my grand-mother, to go see her and to make sure she is not alone, when each year it's the same thing: I call my grand-mother to make sure she is not alone, to tell her I want to go visit her, only to be told, each time, that she is spending Christmas with her daughter (my aunt), her sister (my great-aunt), and some grand-children (my cousins - my aun't children). now even one of my cousins has a little boy, so they were 4 generations at my aunt's. I called them last night, I felt rushed by my aunt to hang up.

 

I feel so sad and rejected. I feel so depressed.

 

The only thing I feel happy about is to have time to rest and enjoy outdoors with my dog. thanks for listening. I just need to talk about it. you can tell me how you feel if it makes you feel better.

[Anonymous122]

I'm sorry you're alone on Christmas. Why can't you to the gathering with your grandmother?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Do you live far away from your aunt and that is why you are not there with them? It is so hard when everyone has a place to go to and you are alone. I am not Christian so I do not celebrate Christmas..but when I was living away from my hometown I always felt lonely on my religious holidays, watching everyone excited about being with their families and I was alone or spending the holiday with a family kind enough to invite me. I also feel sad when I see other people have holiday gatherings with extended families because for me it is just my parents and I. When my parents go it will just be me again. It is hard being alone sometimes, especially when it seems like the whole world has tons of family and friends.

[ATLstudent]

stop being a victim, go out and do something for yourself!

[1MoreChance]

I am about an hour's drive from my aunt's cottage (where they are and go each year). I am not invited though. What hurts me also is that I felt rushed to hang up, like I was disturbing. I even asked my aunt and uncle if we could see each other during the holidays and I just fee as thoguh they were evasive and do not really want to see me. one of their sons has a baby now... they are 4 generations there. I feel like a bit of an outcast. my mother goes away each year... my brother and sister are with their friends. My brother just moved to NY.

 

I feel so sensitive that no one replied to my messages even though my brother posted to some acquaintance on fb... yet didn't reply to my fb or email messages.

 

we used to have bigger family gatherings... but now everyone is kinda split up.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I am so sorry that you have been cast aside from them. That is not what the holidays are about and it sounds like they are missing the point of it all....it is not about gifts, it is about including people and making them feel wanted.

[1MoreChance]

I do. I just spent 2 hours in the nature park with my dog. I took us over there, and walked around, played tug, threw snow balls, and trianed her. ut I cannot shake that feeling. I appreciate what you are saying... but it is not so easily done as it is said. besides, who are you to be so blunt? you don't know me or the intricacies of my life or family situation. I know there is some truth to what you are saying, victimizing myself and what not, but yo have to undersatnd that i becaome genuinely confused as to how to deal with things and how to approach my family. I am really scared of rejection and my sister and brother not replying, really GETS to me and scares me. perhaps you have a little more detailed help to offer than the few words you gave?

 

stop being a victim, go out and do something for yourself!

[1MoreChance]

I am so sorry that you have been cast aside from them. That is not what the holidays are about and it sounds like they are missing the point of it all....it is not about gifts, it is about including people and making them feel wanted.

 

Yes, this is why I called them... I just do not feel welcomed... maybe I am misunderstanding them.... I just feel like they didn't even want to talk to me.

 

BTW we are not practicing religion, it is just a tradition for us to celebrate Christmas. now the jingle bells song is on the radio, so jpoyfull and I feel so sad. I ask the other poster who said I was being a victim... is iot so wrong to express my feeligns? I am trying to help myslef by posting here.... not to victimize myslef.

[1MoreChance]

thanks for the video.

 

I'm sorry you are hurting too.

 

 

I am not alone on Christmas but I feel the most intense depression all the same. I miss my mother who died years ago, and I grieve for my children even though they are right here. I am also very thankful for each little blessing we still have.

 

I'm so sorry you are left out on Christmas and can't imagine how much it hurts you.

 

]

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Yes, this is why I called them... I just do not feel welcomed... maybe I am misunderstanding them.... I just feel like they didn't even want to talk to me.

 

BTW we are not practicing religion, it is just a tradition for us to celebrate Christmas. now the jingle bells song is on the radio, so jpoyfull and I feel so sad. I ask the other poster who said I was being a victim... is iot so wrong to express my feeligns? I am trying to help myslef by posting here.... not to victimize myslef.

 

No, it is not wrong to express your feelings. There are so many people in the same boat as you, feeling lonely and unwelcome by others on the holidays. It is not about victimizing yourself. I often find in situations where people are feeling sad and alone with just cause, there are others who try to shut them down by telling them to stop their whining and acting like a victim. But you know what, often we are a victim of other people's neglect. There is nothing shameful in saying "yes, I am/was a victim"..no sense sweeping the reality of the situation under the rug. People are victims of crimes, neglect etc and there is no disgrace in saying so and even moping about it for awhile. You are getting out there and doing things...you took your dog out for a couple of hours and that's great. You are trying to make the best of an unpleasant and sad situation...but you are still allowed to acknowledge publicly that it is a sad and unpleasant feeling to have nobody to be with on the holidays.

[Miss Firecracker]

thanks for the video.

 

I'm sorry you are hurting too.

 

Your signature says it all.

 

I have hardly slept in two days, doing everything I can to make these days brighter. We've had A Christmas Story playing almost non-stop. My younger one has to have this show on or to him it isn't Christmas. I feel sad watching it because my father brought my children up on it and we rarely ever see him now. Ouch!

 

You will survive this day, just hang tight.

[DN]

I don't think you are playing being a victim and I think was a very insensitive thing to say. One has to wonder at the motives of someone who would say such a thing under the circumstances.

[woodc5]

Maybe you can find somewhere to volunteer today? I know it's short notice, but it might give you a feeling of community and help distract you from the feelings you're currently feeling. I'm sorry you're alone on Christmas. That's not what it's supposed to be about.

[bulletproof]

Is there a family history that would make you think they didn't want you around? You said that you have a feeling they didn't want you there- if you were ever to say, 'I think I'd like to come by on xmas" would they say no? Same with your brother and sister- would they be open to the suggestion of you visiting if you were to propose the idea? It seems weird that this would be happening, which makes me think maybe there is more to the story?

 

If family is not an option, the poster who suggested volunteering is right- sometimes we have to create community when we don't just naturally have one. Do you have friends that would like a visit? Sometimes we just assume that everyone else has plans, etc., but they are just like you- waiting for an idea/invite to do something.

[sophie274]

I'm very sorry. Big hugs. I am with my family (sister, parents, and two grandparents) this Christmas but I am also having a tough time. This time of year brings up a lot of emotions ... I feel like I don't get along with my family and feel misunderstood and constantly at odds with them - like the stork dropped me off at the wrong house and it would be better for everyone, that everyone would be happier if I weren't part of the family.

 

I think it's sad that your aunt is excluding you from Christmas with the family. It's very hard to do the holidays alone. It's only a few more days though, then it's just the end of the year and the beginning of the new one, and you can put this behind you until next year. Maybe for next year you can plan something that will make Christmas more fun, maybe go down south with your mother.

In the meantime, snuggle up with your dog, make him give you lots of kisses. Maybe there's something you can think of to do today that would cheer you up, even a little. Hugs again.

[1MoreChance]

thanks

 

there is a family history of abuse by father. everyone in my immediate family (=mom, brother and sister) pretty much wants to go away during christmas.

 

I'm hurt and confused because my brother always likes to avoid christmas stuff and now that he is in NY, he writes us an email saying how much he would like to be with us today. it is such a load of bull. he ignored both my fb and email messages, and yet keeps replying to his acquaintances on fb (on the main page where everyone can see all the posts)

 

havent heard back from my sister.

 

volunteer work there is nothing last minute. I volunteered on the night of the 23rd though.

 

now I have a bad tension headache, am crying a lot and am overall confused and hurt.

 

I DO agree that I am victimizing myself. thought that the person who said that was insensitive in the way he said it, but I don't think he meant to hurt my feelings. just like everyone in my family doesn't mean to, I guess....

[1MoreChance]

thanks so much. yes it is emotional and confusing all these emotions coming up. i have such a headache

 

I am giving lots of hugs to my dog. I love her so much!

[bulletproof]

 

I'm hurt and confused because my brother always likes to avoid christmas stuff and now that he is in NY, he writes us an email saying how much he would like to be with us today. it is such a load of bull. he ignored both my fb and email messages, and yet keeps replying to his acquaintances on fb (on the main page where everyone can see all the posts)(

 

Maybe you should reply to his email that you would like to get together also, and plan that for the next holiday. If your family has an issue with you, then it might be a good idea to find out why and clear it up once and for all. If it's something that they can't seem to get over enough to spend holidays together, then at least you have your answer and can concentrate on building friendships that will be meaningful and supportive.

 

If facebook is upsetting you, don't look at it today. Why do that to yourself? Also, remember that it's easy for people in pain [your family] to focus on friends they don't have the same difficult past with, so I'm sure it's nothing to him to write messages to facebook people.