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About ATLstudent

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  • Birthday 01/21/1986
  1. Back and fourth. I go back and fourth in my thoughts and feelings. I feel the crisis of choosing one path or the other. When this side is tough and nasty I try and look over to the other. Sometimes I'm convinced I should turn around and go back around. Maybe this is the farthest I've made it, but I still think about going back toward the other. Friends and enemies they seem the same sometimes. One minute to the next what I thought I believed suddenly feels delusional, and I remember the peace I felt before. I guess this is the way it's supposed to happen, easily translated into metapho
  2. Life growing up in America. All these story lines i was nurtured with. Its not really any of that is it. Not just the movies and television, or the angry songs....but life itself. A beginning middle and end.....setup for all of us...the way its supposed to be, and everything works out because things are good. I feel like this could be anything and we only consider a few limited options. What can i do really. I can starve to death and die with a lonely feeling in my body. I can pretend none of it ever existed and go on my way. I can let it all build up inside ready to fall over.I'd like to liv
  3. Have you looked into a 12 step group....porn, drugs, codependency, they have one for each but ssometimes one will cover all your bases. It's hard to say.....there is a biology argument that says addicts are just wired they way they are. I think with the right amount of self awareness, resolve, and tools people can work on themselves , change , and or use there characteristics in more productive ways. Me...I've found that , at least at seems ...you've got to become a super person....a go getter, leader, disciplined warrior type......it's the sort of strange but addiction manifests it's self ver
  4. Yeah if your not invested yet and there's nothing saying this is something special I would move on. Guys like this are a big pain in the ass...trust me I'm one of them. It will take a special girl that would work w me, I haven't found her yet....but it's been difficult trying to find...and definitely for them too. It can be hard being bi or just having these diverse sexual interests and trying to find something that works. So i would only advise staying if something is telling you to ....but if your just casual and could easily move on I would suggest it. I think these type cases are only wort
  5. setting: Georgia..living at home with parents. (Anxiety contemplating life....thinking about an art commission from my brother I could work on) Woke up about 10:30, wrote in journal.....made breakfast...oatmeal. Bathroom Did some back stretches (back pain lately)....got on my soundcloud and edited my profile. (30 mins) Checked FB Made Lunch (30mins) Masturbated , texted an old fwb(30 mins) Sat in misery, in bed (30 mins) ( thinking about life and my lack of production of anything, also my current displeasure in art and music, too things I think I want to pursue.) hear mom is ho
  6. Hey social life is decent....somewhat ...I have a lot of connections now I'm back in my home town, but people that I go out with on the weekends, not great....how can I work on this, not sure what's type people to hang with
  7. I guess I want what I want when I wantband if I can't get it I get all mixed up. Feeling sexually frustrated lately not to mention the fact that I live at home with parents and a brother so my private moments are somewhat limited. But I dunno I'm just sexually frustrated....at home a lot...kind of self imployed as an artist right now and I just don't get out like I used to. In addition I live back on the east coast coming from LA and it seems like my options were limited. I don't drink so going to bars insnt the most natural feeling, also my sexuality is accross the board I like girls, trans
  8. The world you speak of comprises of people. People are this little units of potential .....we have a brain which is rocking ...very smart device. We have a body which is also rockin. (Disease and disability aside, but even so......even if you have one good eye and a hand) What are you doing about it?? You and everyone else makes the world up with our thoughts and actions....seems like you have some pretty big and sympathetic thoughts.....at least you have the ability to think...at least you get the chance to experience something.....think of all the sperm that never make it...GO DO SOMETHING
  9. When comfronted with issues I may be having turmoil over what to do with my life...I often wish it would just go away......or I seek others to tell me it's going to be ok....but at the end of the day it's my responsibility and my stuff to figure out. I've been in one of those moments lately. Although I've been working on artwork and music for the past few months intent on earning a living doing it .....I have come accross some serious doubts about what I am doing. I'm not sure I always feel like I am using myself to the greatest degree......like maybe I could be doing something more meaning
  10. Thank you both. Yeah it feels good.
  11. I was in my first Artshow with a gallery tonight ...it was a group show and it went well. I sold 3 pieces too! 5 1/2 years ago I was just beginning to sketch again after not much creativity in a high school and college stretch of hard partying. I got sober then, picked up a brush for the first time. Learned in school, left, moved to Cali for 4 years , meet great people....lived in 2 cities ,spent 2 months on a farm in Oregon, then moved back home to be closer to family. My first show was in walking distance from my house ....and some of the closest friends I've ever known came...some neighbo
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