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1MoreChance last won the day on September 4 2011

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About 1MoreChance

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  • Birthday 08/20/1972
  1. I think one of the reasons a lot of people have to say that people rarely get back together, etc. is that they are hurting and need to feel in control once more. when someone leaves us, we are completelly out of control. we have no control and we were rejected. two very distressing and overwhelming, scary experiences. the truth is we have to surrender and accept whatever comes. we cannot do that if we choose to be under the illusion of complete control. sometimes people get back together, sometimes they don't. I find it absurd to try to convince people that it just won,t happen and
  2. I will definitelly look into Eckhart Tolle. It sounds like I would enjoy it a lot. I also got a Harville Hendrix book from the library. thank you
  3. your post is being tremendously helpful in helping me find hope that I can cope. thanks and I will try it. for some reason I do not like being in my body. I tend to cut myself off and stay in my thoughts. I get very VERY afraid of my thoughts and think they are reality. exactly what you described: I worry about the future and totally catastrophise. Then the anxiety takes over my body and I fail to breathe properly, I stay in my mind and try to control everything by finding some new thoughts that will explain everything and make everything ok. It's very exhausting. I have been wanti
  4. Thank you. I do realize this and my last relationship and its break up helped me to. I think one of the things that brings me the greatest pain is a feeling of being worthless. I think that I would be dealing with the break up differently at this point if I felt that I was a worthy human. This relationship and the break up has so much to teach me about how I need to heal myself. I just don,t know if I'll ever get there. Like today, I went to the a beautiful park with my dog, and mp3. I sat by the pond and listened to my music. Some pain, some peace, some inspiration. Then, as it wa
  5. yes, that's what I meant. not let HIM go, but be open to whatever greater truth is there. Acceptance toward my experience, instead of resistance. I let my mind come up with all kinds of "truths", which are fear based. This will happen, because of this, that will happen because of that. he feels this way because of this or that. in reality, i am probably at least as much right as I am wrong in my analysis. he has a whole experience which is unique and different from mine and the truth seems to be more complex than "he no longer loves me" (which hurts so much). I am scared, nonetheless. U
  6. Thanks for this whole thread. It's beautiful. Inside me there is a voice that tells me to "trust" and "let go". To "surrender". I hope I can see through this veil of confusion, fear and anger and find peace. I want the same for me ex. I still have hope for the future and I need to learn to value myself and believe in myself. No matter what happens between him and I, I wish him the same thing.
  7. He wants to have you around at his convenience, he sounds very immature. He is too scared to stand up on hi own two feet. he teels you he doesn't want to be with you, but then he texts you, seeks you out, and comes crying to you when the othe rone hurt him. is this what you want? especially if you end up getting confused and hurt and having expectations, it will be hard then. so choose what you want. set your limits.
  8. he is obviously not that amazing if he doesn't care about your pleasure. why would you accept that?
  9. I'd try to not get my expectations up cause it could be very disappointing... you must meet and talk face to face and generally get a feel for each other in person, and if he invited you, then I agree that he should come up with a plan, but that you must set limits (I say don't go to his house).
  10. Go to a shelter, I am scared for your life.
  11. pjbouchard, I think your text sounded extra nice and that you were saying how you feel. but it almost sounds apologetic. if he gets defensive maybe it's because the tone of your text is actually not firm enough? I think you are very nice, I wouldn't be so nice about it if my bf was getting lap dances lol. good luck
  12. that's why those drugs should be a very last resort and shouldn't be used long term. Eventually they stop working and you are left to deal with that by yourself. I understand about not being able to up a medication and to have to suffer side effects. I suggest you talk to your doctor about weaning off and trying alternative approaches, including right eating, exercise, meditation, relaxation, and natural supplements. you might consider going gluten free to see if it helps, gluten intolerance is associated with much mental disorders and a lot of other health problems.
  13. I loved this post and the song lyrics, thanks. It is all about befriending and loving yourself. That's where love starts. Love comes through you. if you cannot connect with it ands thinks it only comes TO you, you will become dependent on the other person and loose yourself.
  14. togetheralone whatever you do, do not have children with this woman! she is not equiped to raise them and give them the emotional connection and care they need, and please do not make the mistake to think that having a child will save this marriage. many peopl eactually think this... as for the rest... why was she ok the first 2 or 3 years???? and now chronic depression, self-harm and hospitalisation??? maybe the relationship itself is the trigger... intimacy, for someone who comes from childhood trauma and abuse (which I'm sure she does), can trigger this fall into a chronic st
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