thekid55 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Haven't posted in here in a few days. I got a text from my ex tonight. She said 'Hey'. After I didn't respond, about 25 minutes later, she texted me again saying 'I don't know why you aren't talking to me but I have some things that I want to say to you'. Did not respond to that either. They really weren't THAT important if she didn't feel the need to tell me then and there. I have no time for that crap anyway. I go back to school this weekend and it was probably some ploy on her part. Maybe she fighting with her fling. Who knows. F it. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Leave that one be Kid. Trust me! Link to comment
thekid55 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Leave that one be Kid. Trust me! I'm not responding. She's not even worth talking to anymore. I don't care if she called me crying, saying she made the biggest mistake of her life. I'm through with her and there are other women out there that have treated me better than she ever did. To just show my progress, as soon as I got those messages, I deleted them. So what I posted is basically just from memory. Link to comment
Calblee Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 hi kid, you are doing that now because you have realised your true value and worth. also you have seen that it is so possible to have better people in your life than her. good job. still rooting for you Link to comment
thekid55 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 hi kid, you are doing that now because you have realised your true value and worth. also you have seen that it is so possible to have better people in your life than her. good job. still rooting for you Ah. Glad you are realizing it too with me! Link to comment
WhatSetsUs Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 What happens if she comes out and says she regrets all her stuff, loves you, wants you back, etc.? Would you consider taking her back or are you loving the single life too much? haha Link to comment
thekid55 Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 What happens if she comes out and says she regrets all her stuff, loves you, wants you back, etc.? Would you consider taking her back or are you loving the single life too much? haha I hope she doesn't say that. Plus if she was going to say that, she would have said that last night. She chose not to say anything. I just wish she would forget about me and just leave me alone. I hate being put in those situations because I love being single and my 'new' life so much. I couldn't trust her again. I know in my 'heart of hearts' I couldn't do it. I've read and been friends with SA for long enough to know/see what happens when you stay in limbo with an ex. Even though there was never any cheating, lying, or whatever in our relationship, her behavior, post-breakup, has shown and told me enough. She was never there when I needed her to be. She pushed me away. I asked her out three different times, post-breakup and she never took me up on it. I pulled myself up out of the gutter and I feel so good now. She hung out with her ex-boyfriend (When she swore to me a long time ago that that was done.) and openly told people about it who in turn, told me. I'd never tell her that I know, but it's enough for me to let that ship sail away. Ironic enough, her brother (who messages me a few times a week about solely sports), asked me when I was going back to school. (Probably from her since I ignored her last night). In any case, as forgiving as I am with people, I couldn't trust her again. She went back to her ex at some capacity before, she could definitely do it again. I'd rather take my chances with a new girl(s). Link to comment
C_Unknown2005 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Kick her to the curb (the ex) C Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Hey now. Nothing wrong with prolonged limbo! Haha. Just kidding. It sucked. But I have a feeling it might come to an end real soon. I met a new lady (not really new. I knew of her in HS.) so now it wont really matter what the ex says or does. I'm guessing she no longer wants to be "friends" when I start dating someone else. Haha. Good for you though Kid. Knowing where you stand and what you want is a great quality to have in life. They made the mistake of taking our niceness as weakness. Oh well. Haha. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 Hey now. Nothing wrong with prolonged limbo! Haha. Just kidding. It sucked. But I have a feeling it might come to an end real soon. I met a new lady (not really new. I knew of her in HS.) so now it wont really matter what the ex says or does. I'm guessing she no longer wants to be "friends" when I start dating someone else. Haha. Good for you though Kid. Knowing where you stand and what you want is a great quality to have in life. They made the mistake of taking our niceness as weakness. Oh well. Haha. Didn't mean to take a swipe at you SA. (All in good ENA fun) You and I have been through the grinder of emotions (You definitely went through it 100x worse in your situation). But I think your story with your ex shed a lot of light to other ENAers. I have a feeling we haven't heard the last from your ex, but the story nonetheless is 'dynamic'. And good for you too with the new lady. Meeting new women is never a bad thing. See where it goes and who knows, she may be a much better fit than your last relationship. I have a feeling both of us will look back on these posts in about six months and truly laugh. Here's a question that we can both REALLY think about tonight. What the heck happened to P? I haven't seen him around here in weeks! All of that music, the ex-girlfriend! We need an update! Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 12, 2011 Share Posted January 12, 2011 Haha. It's all good. Hopefully my trials and tribs can be helpful to others. I'll hit him up on FB and tell him to give an update. I still have to pick up his album. Yeah man this new girl kinda gamed me. I opened the door and she is walking through it. I love it when it works out that way. I haven't heard from the ex in a few days but given her track record that doesn't mean anything. Haha. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted January 12, 2011 Author Share Posted January 12, 2011 I called my buddy today that dates one of her friends. After talking about football for a few minutes, I asked him what he had been up to over break. He told me that he was doing X,Y, and Z. He mentioned that he went to the city last week with his girlfriend and my ex. I mentioned to him that I got these texts the other night from her, urgently wanting my reply and asked if he knew anything. He told me that my ex wouldn't shut up about the ex-fling (aka douche). She kept complaining that he doesn't want her (assuming as boyfriend/girlfriend) and she doesn't understand why. Now, history already showed us that this dude dumped her once (after 2 months), cheated on her, whatever. Clearly, she's still attracted to him and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that women want someone who embodies their father. Her dad was a drunk, a cheat on her Mom, deserted the family, etc. Physically, he looks eerilely to the douche bag. The comparisons are endless. Anyway, he told me that she wouldn't shut up about the douche for the whole night. He told me that he actually made fun of her about it. That's how bad it was. He told me that she had said that she knew that her and I weren't right for each other and that she had started to like the douche again after a month of being broken up with me. He said that she wasn't texting me for the right reasons and that she really likes this guy still. Probably because she wants what she can't have. This same crap happened three years ago with this douche and it took her literally four months to get over a two-month relationship. (I wish I would have seen the red flags at first). (Her and I started dating shortly after she was over it) Funny that no one who was around around 3 years ago, is there now to talk some sense into her. Completely new cast of friends and they don't have the slightest clue. I told my friend that I was doing my own thing, had been hooking up with different girls, enjoying the single life, etc. He encouraged me to keep on doing it and not to waste any time on her. She is still focused on the douche, but felt the need to 'talk' to me. Funny that I haven't heard from her since. It must have not been that urgent. I'm no one's backup and I feel like that's what she's trying to force me into. Hypothetically speaking, say I took her back. I'd be constantly worrying that this douche would reappear at some point, saying he wants her (blah blah blah), and she'd leave me again and I'd be back to square one. It's just not worth it. Link to comment
eatpraylove Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Hey hey...thanks for the link. It is good you are making so much progress, seeing this for what it is. You deserve 10x's better in your life. Let her make her big mistakes; she'll hit rock bottom or she may keep hitting the same brick wall over and over and never learn or grow. That's her deal; you are dealing in reality. Getting you back, getting back out there, learning to find "your Happiness" again. You finally see her for what she is and you finally see what her true intentions for you were. A back up plan, the "just in case, I'll keep you handy"...but you're not her crutch, her 2nd choice or backup plan. You are soo much better then that. You cared about someone, you gave all you had, they refused the lifeline you threw out to them when they were sinking, and so, all you can do is wipe your hands of it. She continues to make an A$$ of herself throwing herself at her ex and all you can do is be proud of yourself and how much progress you have made while she is still miserable. If one day she opens her eyes and it hits her what she lost along the way, including her own self respect, it may hit her she let the best thing she had go (meaning you), but that will be her big regret. You'll have come miles away from that by then, likely happy and compelete in your own progress and looking back at this time as just a minor speedbump in the giant adventure that is your life...you won't even wince about this one day...maybe shake your head at what you were thinking...but you definitely won't wince! Good luck- EPL Link to comment
Calblee Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 kid, sounds like you are already becoming her loss. =) DONT EVER TAKE HER BACK. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 get her back for 2 hours when you're bored,take some pics with you both and facebook them. add her douche on facebook and post on the photo album "this is what kid does when he's really bored" Link to comment
Calblee Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 get her back for 2 hours when you're bored,take some pics with you both and facebook them. add her douche on facebook and post on the photo album "this is what kid does when he's really bored" gallop, don't suggest such things because the kid can really make it come true. why? because he is the big bear with fragging claws and she is just a little honey bunny that needs some love. go kid. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 that would be funny i guess. if i had the time i would do it. just to laugh at that douche who probably things he's awesome. she'll look like loser and everybody wins. so much talking and whatnot,analyzing and contemplating ,what for? everything is a game and we have to play right...pac pac Link to comment
faithful14 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 get her back for 2 hours when you're bored,take some pics with you both and facebook them. add her douche on facebook and post on the photo album "this is what kid does when he's really bored" hahaha that would be so messed up LOL Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Got a FB message from P. He was banned for spamming I guess. He said he mentioned his album and got the permanent boot. Lame. Friend him on FB. If you look through my friends his last name starts with an A and he has Profound in his name. Link to comment
thekid55 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 I can't even be mad anymore. I think this whole thing is just a train wreck waiting to happen. The douche probably enjoys just using her for sex, but even then, the luster is probably starting to wear off and true colors start to shine through. I hate rejecting people (which I've been doing a lot lately) and I feel like I'm going to have to reject her soon. Luckily for me, I graduate college in May and will never have to see her again. The clock is ticking. I actually almost feel bad for her in a way. Here I am, thekid55, making positive changes in my life. I'm learning from past mistakes, making new friends (ENA included), meeting new women, had my best academic semester ever, etc. She is still toiling in mistakes from her past. I may not have been as clear in my previous message, but she dated this douche three years ago for two months! The guy basically dropped her like a rock, cheated on her, stopped callng her, talking to her, etc. When she proved to me that she was beyond all of that garbage (which was like five months, post-breakup for them), I decided that I wanted to start dating her. She made so many great changes in her life. I encouraged her to get involved in new activities (including her sorority, which I knew would lead to problems in the future), but I didn't care because she wasn't happy at the time and the sorority made/makes her happy. Her grades drastically improved. I brought her into my social circle and people thought very highly of her. Her family absolutely loved me and her brother still talks to me a few times a week. I had that type of effect. Now that we are broken up, I hear all sorts of bad things about her. Tons of girls hate her. She hangs out with the douche bag ex. I don't even want to know about her grades from this past semester. She's fake to a lot of people, etc. She's not my problem anymore, but it just goes to show how much of an impact you can make on a person's life. When the relationship ends, you'll really see it and I can just see that her life isn't as solid anymore. I really hope that it improves for her, but as of right now, it's not anything special. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 same with my ex,since i broke up with her 3 months ago,she's miserable. hooked up with that guy she was telling her cougar friends about,and tries to put on a facade. i know she's fake and deep down feels like a loser. i was helping,guiding,encourage her to be better ,career wise and personality wise. i guess some people don't appreciate them till it's over. i had to let her go since i felt that i'm making her miserable,and now she calls me every day for the last week, she even called my real estate agent to ask if she saw me. how pathetic is that? i'm like you now,i just feel sorry for her. it's true that the right women can pick you up when you're down, and you can achieve great heights together,but that works the other way around too Link to comment
thekid55 Posted January 13, 2011 Author Share Posted January 13, 2011 I agree with everything you said, gallop. Takes a lot of inner strength on our parts to get to that point. When we get there though, we don't ever want to go back to that dark, sad place. It's kinda sad to reflect on how we acted/felt at one point, but that's part of the journey. Each breakup gets a little easier, at least it does for me because I think I invest less and less of myself into a girl. I'll find the right balance one day. And cougar friends?!? Man, I love the cougars. Don't mention them too often in this thread or else I'll get too excited. Link to comment
gallop30 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I agree with everything you said, gallop. Takes a lot of inner strength on our parts to get to that point. When we get there though, we don't ever want to go back to that dark, sad place. It's kinda sad to reflect on how we acted/felt at one point, but that's part of the journey. Each breakup gets a little easier, at least it does for me because I think I invest less and less of myself into a girl. I'll find the right balance one day. And cougar friends?!? Man, I love the cougars. Don't mention them too often in this thread or else I'll get too excited. break ups aren't complicated or hard,we just like to make them that way. if a girl doesn't like me she's free to go,and if i don't like her i'm leaving anyway. but we like those "little games" i guess. cougars cougars cougarsX100 Link to comment
Calblee Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 Got a FB message from P. He was banned for spamming I guess. He said he mentioned his album and got the permanent boot. Lame. Friend him on FB. If you look through my friends his last name starts with an A and he has Profound in his name. ask him to write in to ENA. the service staff are very helpful. Link to comment
SA2000 Posted January 13, 2011 Share Posted January 13, 2011 I told him that. He might just be like eff it though. Link to comment
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