Would you find these two things acceptable from your boyfriend?

[miie]

Would you find these two things acceptable from your boyfriend?

 

1. Him having naked photos of women as his wall paper on his phone or computer (sometimes full front, sitting down shots). He makes no attempt to hide them from you, and almost 'brags' about the woman by saying 'check out her boobs, they are massive' ..and 'look at that, whoa'.

 

2. He asked you if you watch porn, you replied you dont which is the truth, but he doesn't believe you because you have watched it in the past (prior to dating him). He thinks its ok for him to watch it because he is a man, but it isn't ok for you because you are a woman and he cant see what the enjoyment is from it.

[-Sanguine-]

Can't say I'd really like either of those things. Especially the bragging and the view that women can't view porn??

How do YOU feel about these things?

[RedDress]

I agree. Both would bother me, especially together. Frankly, it doesn't sound like he respects women much. You aren't allowed to have your own sexuality? But those women in the photos are? Or they don't have their own sexuality and they are simply there for him to look at/think about... like objects...

 

Food for thought.

[countrygirl]

I wouldnt like either of those to be honest. Would you explain to him how the pictures on his phone make you feel and the way he goes on about them? The porn thing, does he live in the dark ages, alot of women enjoy watching porn!!

[writingislove]

1. No. He's allowed to fantasize about naked women, but that's taking it too far when you're in a relationship. Especially the comments on the women's bodies.

2. I wouldn't tolerate that because it's incredibly sexist and I would never date someone who felt that way.

[Sanesoul]

He sounds like an immature ogre.

[doesitmatter30]

Run Away, Now.

[d24]

sounds like you're picking out the two negative aspects of his character and obviously everyone here, knowing just those two pieces of information, are naturally going to tell you to run.

 

But honestly, these could be two poor traits to an otherwise perfect man.

 

The question therefore lies with you : do you consider either of these as deal-breakers? It's not for us to decide for you, and general consensus here of all places, because we've all hurt, will be negative.

[OptomisticGirl]

sounds like you're picking out the two negative aspects of his character and obviously everyone here, knowing just those two pieces of information, are naturally going to tell you to run.

 

But honestly, these could be two poor traits to an otherwise perfect man.

 

The question therefore lies with you : do you consider either of these as deal-breakers? It's not for us to decide for you, and general consensus here of all places, because we've all hurt, will be negative.

 

I agree with this. Of course neither of those are fine.

[lostnscared]

My boyfriend used to have pictures of "video models" as his wallpaper on his cell phone. Even had a raunchy calendar. It didn't bother me at all. I actually thought it was funny. I don't know--I guess I just don't care about that. I WOULD care about being told I can't watch porn while he watches it.

[Snny]

My honest answer?

 

1. I wouldn't have a problem with it if it's on his phone and his computer only. Your shouldn't have to "hide" them from you if its on his machine. The question is... is it worth feeling insecure about it? The boob comments are a little mature though. Makes him look like a horn dog.

 

2. "It's ok to watch porn cuz I'm a guy" is such a lame excuse. The fact he has a strong belief about a woman expressing her sexuality shows he's incredibly sexist and got major issues. I hope he's not objectifying you in anyway because it's beginning to sound like he is.

[floaterg]

would you let him have naked pictures of you? either way, i wouldn't like either of those...

[luvbuny91]

No and no. That's slimey and uncool!!!

[QtPie]

no it wouldn't bother me at all, one he is a man and likes women, nomatter who is he is with they will always look at other women for sexual reasons. If he acts on some sort of sexual thing, now that is a problem. 2 he is asking if you like porn because he wants to "get in you" and be intimate. He sounds like a sexual guy to me and that's not always a bad thing. I mean what are you looking for? Movie love? I want a guy who has a wild imagination with sex, it makes it ten times better.

[SayWhen]

It's not the porn that would bother me, it's the bragging. To me that's almost like he's saying "hey, check this chick out, she has such and such physical attribute that I wish you had!" Not cool. As far as the porn goes though...would you consider making that a part of foreplay with him if he's interested?

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I really am not quite sure why you continue to be with this guy. From all of your previous threads it is clear that this guy does not treat you right. He clearly does not cherish you like a person should cherish their partner. He doesn't do stuff with you, he excludes you, changes plans to be with others, and according to this post he views women as just body parts for his viewing pleasure. This guy sounds like a pig.

[Ms Darcy]

Chauvanist. Party of one.

[Psychgirl24]

I would definitely be bothered by it. I think it depends on the person...some people wouldn't tolerate it and some people aren't bothered. I think if you're bothered, he shouldn't be doing it. And with the whole porn thing...if he can watch it, so can you!

[miie]

thanks for the replies.

 

I dont consider them deal breakers as someone mentioned. Its not something i need to sit down with with him and talk about either. There are good things about him too and our relationship. This 'topic' just hadn't come up before. I dont have a problem with him have porn. He is a guy and a very good chance he will look at it etc. What i dont like is him commenting so much on it right in front of me. He can do that with his buddies. He'll say stuff like "see if you had..(something the girl had).... you'd look this good". THAT makes me insecure. He knows im insecure about my body a bit. He's even asked me to make sure that im not going to put on any weight.

 

And the porn thing, i dont watch it. I dont think he does. But what bothers me is that when i say i dont, he thinks im lying. He thinks i do watch it.

[QtPie]

I think you need to start reading some Sherry Argov books - go to Barnes and Noble ASAP - ( Why Men Love Bi*ches ) is the title. Thank me later.

[Cognitive_Canine]

I wouldn't go near a guy like that. I don't even know where to begin...