speak Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I'm a virgin and I have never had a boyfriend. I use to think that sex is something that I would like if I were to ever find a love. Lately, I just think sex repulses me. I don't like to think of it. Maybe it is just a phase, since I am going through a lot and have just been down. But, at the same time, I may always feel this way. QUESTION I DO want to spend my life with someone. Is it possible to have a relationship without sex and it be healthy and happy? Link to comment
redtan Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Is it possible to have a relationship without sex and it be healthy and happy? Anything is possible with the right person. If you fall in love with someone that is as asexual as you then sure. The probability of finding such person, especially one that you click with in every other aspect, very unlikely...especially at a young age. Don't know many guys in their early 20s that would settle in a sexless LTR or marriage. Link to comment
speak Posted July 13, 2010 Author Share Posted July 13, 2010 Anything is possible with the right person. If you fall in love with someone that is as asexual as you then sure. The probability of finding such person, especially one that you click with in every other aspect, very unlikely...especially at a young age. Don't know many guys in their early 20s that would settle in a sexless LTR or marriage. What about an older man? Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I think we need a little more background on you to give an informed opinion. Why have you never had a boyfriend? Link to comment
speak Posted July 13, 2010 Author Share Posted July 13, 2010 I think we need a little more background on you to give an informed opinion. Why have you never had a boyfriend? It's just something that has never happened. I have been on a date and I have talked with men over the phone and all. We just never clicked. One guy I found out helped a married woman cheat and the other guy I talked to was when I was 18-19. Didn't really go anywhere. Link to comment
Sparkly Eyes Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 What about an older man? Older men want sex less frequently, but most of them still do want it. You are a virgin! You haven't had sex or any sexual experiment. Don't write sex off just yet, maybe you love it once you have it with a good partner. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 It's just something that has never happened. I have been on a date and I have talked with men over the phone and all. We just never clicked. One guy I found out helped a married woman cheat and the other guy I talked to was when I was 18-19. Didn't really go anywhere. That being said, it could be that your lack of interest in sex has to do with never meeting someone that you feel you connect/click with. It could be that you might be interested in sex if you were emotionally connected with someone, rather than physically. When you meet guys, where are you meeting them? Link to comment
speak Posted July 13, 2010 Author Share Posted July 13, 2010 That being said, it could be that your lack of interest in sex has to do with never meeting someone that you feel you connect/click with. It could be that you might be interested in sex if you were emotionally connected with someone, rather than physically. When you meet guys, where are you meeting them? Well, the one I went on a date with I met in High School. The other guy I met at work. But I learned he was creepy. I was just about to turn 21 and he was 32, and he was so into me. He then told me about how he date a lady 20 years older than him that was married and they were sexual. It just freaked me out. Link to comment
Unreasonable Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I DO want to spend my life with someone. Is it possible to have a relationship without sex and it be healthy and happy? Yeah, it's called friendship and you can do it with a man or a woman. Link to comment
speak Posted July 13, 2010 Author Share Posted July 13, 2010 Yeah, it's called friendship and you can do it with a man or a woman. Great response! Link to comment
guynextdoor Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I wouldn't rule sex totally out yet there Speak. Sounds like you haven't been dating much to find a guy that you can click with. Chemistry is key here, but from your previous posts you've been going through alot in your life and its difficult for you to date at this time. Hang in there, you're still young and I'm pretty positive you will find someone you will click with. Link to comment
MrWallFlower Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 When I read your post my first thought was that you could have some medical condition that takes away your desire (hormone related perhaps). Maybe you are just a late bloomer and one day you will suddenly have desire. Link to comment
oldenoughtoknow Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I'm a virgin and I have never had a boyfriend. I use to think that sex is something that I would like if I were to ever find a love. Lately, I just think sex repulses me. I don't like to think of it. Maybe it is just a phase, since I am going through a lot and have just been down. But, at the same time, I may always feel this way. QUESTION I DO want to spend my life with someone. Is it possible to have a relationship without sex and it be healthy and happy? You're young. You've never had a boyfriend or a lover. I wouldn't write off something that you've never tried. I'd take it as a phase and reevaluate it when you find someone you're interested in. Sex aside, do you ever come accross men that you find attractive? Link to comment
speak Posted July 13, 2010 Author Share Posted July 13, 2010 You're young. You've never had a boyfriend or a lover. I wouldn't write off something that you've never tried. I'd take it as a phase and reevaluate it when you find someone you're interested in. Sex aside, do you ever come accross men that you find attractive? I do come accross men I find attractive. Yes. I may not attract them though. Link to comment
Cognitive_Canine Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I used to think sex was gross and weird too. Especially blow jobs...disgusting. And then I found myself with a boyfriend. It's the complete opposite now. Link to comment
doityourself Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I think you should try it before you totally cross it off your list of things to do. Sex is an very enjoyable passion filled thing when done with the right person at the right time. I think you have put so much thought and analyzed it so much that your to nervous and scared to actually do it now. I think you will be fine when the times comes and your comfortable with that person. Or you could become a nun, nothing wrong with that either. Good Luck Link to comment
speak Posted July 13, 2010 Author Share Posted July 13, 2010 Or you could become a nun, nothing wrong with that either. Good Luck LOL thats funny. Link to comment
Puckdog27 Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 I think your odds of finding a partner who wants no sex are near impossible, it can happen, but you are fishing in a very limited pond Link to comment
FathomFear Posted July 13, 2010 Share Posted July 13, 2010 Yeah, it's called friendship and you can do it with a man or a woman. Most asexuals distinguish between friendships and platonic love interests. So, I wouldn't necessarily say that the only difference between a friendship and a romance is sex. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Well, the one I went on a date with I met in High School. The other guy I met at work. But I learned he was creepy. I was just about to turn 21 and he was 32, and he was so into me. He then told me about how he date a lady 20 years older than him that was married and they were sexual. It just freaked me out. Well, I would find that a little odd that he disclosed that to you and wouldn't blame you for being a little alarmed by that. I think you need to try to meet someone again though, when you are ready. Link to comment
obs Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 QUESTION I DO want to spend my life with someone. Is it possible to have a relationship without sex and it be healthy and happy? This would only be possible if you partner wanted the same which would be very unlikely although not impossible. But anyways, you'll never know if you're repulsed by sex until you try it. Link to comment
NightLily Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 What is your background like? Were you raised in a strict or very religious household? Were you ever sexually assaulted or given a reason to not trust men? I think you shouldn't worry yourself over it too much unless there was some trauma that has caused you to feel this way. If that was the case you might consider counseling. But, most likely you will just need to take it slowly when you meet somebody you are into and there is nothing wrong with that. There really is no rush to have sex and if a guy puts pressure on you then he isn't the right guy for you. Link to comment
orangecounty Posted July 16, 2010 Share Posted July 16, 2010 Yes, when you are with the right person. After my first kiss I remember thinking kissing was repulsing,ahaha It was not a very nice first experience. I was so disgusted. But then eventually I met my boyfriend whom I with now and it was perfect and still is, I can never get enough of kissing him. You'll see, you're still young and some day it'll all come together. Link to comment
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