has anyone dating/dated someone with a mental illness?

[glucoze]

...What are the characteristics of bi-polar disorder..

 

My ex and I... yes we are still friends.

His family has a history of bi-polar disroder.. his mom has the illness and his little sister does to.. they also have all sorta of problems not that I am judging.

he told me that the illness did not pass down to him but sometimes I don't think he is being quite honest, or maybe he is in denial?

Does it only affect women? I spoke to his sister and we are really good friends she told me last year she went to her doctor and she got medication for it.. refuses to take them. I mean it makes total sense that she IS bi-polar. she's always really moody.. terrible mood swings one minute she is happy and fine with me and the littlest thing I do sets her off and she gets really extreme.. suicidal thoughts etc.. she tends to isolate herself from everybody.. it's hard to keep up sometimes. I mean i dont know too much about the illness but what if my ex is bipolar as well?

 

he has rash thoughts...

he can be fine one minute and then he is suddenly depressed.. and this lasts for awhile... 2 weeks - a month

suicidal.. engages in risky behavior.. he used to cut himself.. and burn himself.. he even used to drink knowing full well how bad it would effect him 0 he has diabetes. he can isolate himself sometimes too...

 

and then he'll be fine act like nothing happened... seems hopeful for the future and excited.. I know he isn't a bad person but what if his craziness is a result of undiagnosed bi-polar disorder??

 

 

 

Like a few days ago things were fine, we were talking and everythin was going great and just yesterday hes been acting distant, isolating himself.. not saying much.. seems depressed..

 

it's hard to keep up.. has anyone dated someone with a mental illness?

 

 

I don't know if he really IS messed up or he has bipolar illness just like everybody else in his family.........

 

[glucoze]

When we met we fell in love.. things were great.. for a year. He was kind caring everything I wanted and more.. and then for some reason which IS understandable he lost his best friend he became depressed and such... 6 months later his behavior changed. he was jealous all the time.. we always broke up and got back together.. sometimes i didnt undersand what i did wrong. He got mad that i would talk to other guys.. have all these delusions that I was even having sex behind his back and how he didn't appreciate it. I was in shock I mean why would i do that? We stopped talking for a few months after he broke up with me over the stupidest thing. Said he didnt need me how he wanted me out of his life. I said okay.. good whatever. And then like.. a month later he randomly mesages me says how badly he misses me blah blah blah this song reminds me of him, hes been thinking about me this whole time and that he wants me in his life. He would talk to other girls but he could never actually date them because they weren't 'me'. then things would be good.. a month later he'd make up something in his head yet again then we would fight and he'd say "get out of my life we're over"

 

do you guys see this pattern.. i know there is something wrong with him lol

[soul_soother]

My father has aggression issues and my brother is bi-polar and my sister has really bad anxiety attacks, but me and my mother have no effects of anything in that sort. I'm a really laid back optimist kind of guy so I know its not something genetic. But, you have to look at sometimes the source (I just recently posted this on another thread) because my brother was extreme extreme bi-polar but as soon as he moved out of the house at 20 and started living by himself... he was extremely happy. It was just getting outside of my father's reign. Now if he was completely fine for an entire year and then just after his friends death became like that, then maybe he doesn't have bi-polarism , one thing just lead to another? But, from what you said it looks like he has some type of issue and with the extremely jealous constantly thinking your sleeping with other people, I would suggest not trying to get back with him. A person shouldn't have to take abuse.

[XxJustMexX]

His insecurities and the whole break-up/get back together thing is a classic sign of being bipolar... When a BPD person gets in a depressive stage, it's very common for them to break up with their partner as during this time, they are confused, feeling inadequate, etc... Then when they jump out of the depression, they feel normal and regret everything that's happened during the depressive episode and that's when they come back to you... Everything you've said about him points to him being bipolar...

 

I'm not a doc, but I'm bipolar, and so is my ex... Been through everything from both sides of the relationship... I'd try to get him to seek help and possibly medication... I don't know why it's harder for some people to accept and they stay in denial. I'm happy I know what's wrong with me and I can take medication that helps me... I know several people who have mental illnesses and refuse to believe it and think that they are fine... One is someone I know who has severe depression and self medicates by being an alcoholic... yet he says he's fine... Sure bud. Keep telling yourself that. Anyway, it's hard to get someone in denial into the doctor's so good luck to you and hope he gets help.

[glucoze]

This was a while ago.. he told me he hates living at home and that he is trying to save up money so he can move out - his mother is very controlling and posessive and controls him a lot - and live here with me. He told me how dysfunctional his family is.. nobody supports him, he's doing everything in the house and its like everyone tears him down. Now hes in the music business which is making it even harder for him lol

 

and thats what he is.. naturally the laid back type of fun guy. i have seen it. but its like whenver he is home and he is stressed as wel it adds fuel to the fire. then he thinks of how unfair it is for me to date him when he 'cant even be a good boyfriend' thats what he thinks. Me waiting and such how it isn't fair.

Its very confusing... I just have to know if he is sick with this illness or he is just messed up and i shouldnt even be his friend..

[glucoze]

He said he went to therapy and he left because it didn't work for him. he said nothing works... i think ill bring up that he should take medication and see a doctor about bipolar disorder... he hasnt even been to therapy for 3 sessions. He like left after the second lol!!

 

I used to think "ok maybe hs IS MESSED UP DUMP HIM" thats what my friends say too.. but i think he is bipolar. I really do.

[hexaemeron]

I don't know if these qualify as mental "illnesses" but I have Asperger's Syndrome and my partner is a diagnosed ADHD. I didn't know about my condition until 2 years into our relationship, while he's known about his for almost 13 years.

 

We love each other a great deal, but when we fight, it's very difficult for us to disengage. I have a terrifying autistic rage that fuels my temper and ADHD people tend to "stim" - creating fights out of nowhere to give their brain the stimulation they crave.

 

We're many things, but never boring. But as crazy as it gets, we also recognize that while we don't agree on everything, and we percieve the world is very different ways, we do care for each other a great deal.

 

Life and relationships are always messy. It just depends on whether we want to put up with someone else's mess, illness or no.

[itsallgrand]

I dated someone with a mental illness. Not bipolar. Something equally as serious though. His illness seemed to progress; when I first met him, he just seemed quirky. Over time together, he seemed to get worse.

He was not in treatment at the time we were together, though he was trying to. It was difficult.

 

Years later now (and I did end up leaving him due to the mental illness, which was a very difficult painful decision for me to make) - many years later we are now. And we are in contact as friends, I suppose.

 

And you know what glucoze? It's still painful. Bc even with treatment, I know inside that I could never share all the things that I wanted to share with him. We can't have an intimate relationship, be gf bf, get married, have kids....all things that this is the one person in the world I'd met who I would have done it without any doubt.

 

But things are good now as is. I still find myself just sort of hoping, I wish he'd get better, get better for good. Not even so we can be together - I gave up that long ago - but just bc I care and want him to have all that he deserves and be happy and 100% healthy. To know how that feels like.

 

I share this simply bc though right now you may be thinking "Well if only he'd just go to treatment, then things would be fine"....in my experience, it tends when it is serious to be more a lifelong journey and battle than a sickness that can be fixed with some medication. There will be ups and downs, likely his whole life, if he is ill, and that is something to consider now. Now before you make some choices that could change your life too for a very long time.

 

best of luck.

[glucoze]

Does it make me crazy or a bad person, that I want to put up with it? because he still means a lot to me.. isn't that what love is about though? Accepting someone for everything that they are. he was ahasmed and afraid to tell me that he was a diabetic. I thought that it was crazy but from his experience.. his ex girlfriend who was a heavily depressed psycho always teased him, and when he was younger children made fun of him as well..

 

Now i think maybe he knows he could be bipolar and fears telling me so that I would leave him for good.

I am not that kind of girl. If this was someone I didn't care about it would be easy. But through the ups and downs.. this is someone that is so significant in my life. I care so much about him, even if we are friends and I want him to be happy and healthy thats' what is important to me. lol All the time people dont get it and they dont understand. ive told friends and family and they still dont get it Everyone but my little sister.. he is a good guy hes just sick. People judge you only for what you've done wrong and I don't think that it is fair lol.

[itsallgrand]

I don't think it makes you a bad person at all, nor crazy. You care about him. These things aren't easy, it's not black and white.

 

I can tell you this though. It is a lot easier to support, appreciate as is, and be there for someone who is going through stuff like the man you speak about - as a friend. That is my experience.

 

The gf/bf feelings, the longings there, the trappings and ups and downs of that can really cloud up judgment and being able to help even.

 

I remember how conflicted I felt long ago - I mean, to me I was always taught and always believed deep down - you just do not ever leave someone you love when they are sick and hurting. Doesn't matter what the sickness is, doesn't matter how much you have to sacrifice. And I loved him like mad. So honestly, there was also my desire to have him in my life in play.

 

When I decided to leave him, it was bc I thought and felt deep down it was the best thing for both of us. The best chance of him getting better - bc he was always getting wrapped up in worrying about what kind of bf he could be to me? What about itsallgrand? ...and other dramas to do with our relationship and that. He too... yeah, he used to randomly go off when he got sicker thinking there were men coming into my apartment when he wasn't looking. Which made no sense, and you could tell looking at him, he wasn't in his right mind at all, it was his paranoia kicking in.

 

Anyways, it's hard. But I think...and from experience....know, you can love someone very deeply and yet choose something like stepping back.

 

The important thing is both of you get and stay healthy, happy....and caring about that and doing what is in your power to accomplish that, even if it is hard to do (which sometimes means leaving rather than sticking it out, it was easier for me to stick out most of the time and take it than to leave him!! I cried for weeks!!!).....well, that seems like love to me.

 

There are things too which only he can decide and help himself, no matter how sick he is, he has to put in the work and be willing. Acknowledging that I think is allowing someone to have their dignity also no matter how ill they may be...they are still their own person....not ever a child...and deserve to be treated that way.

 

tc. sorry for speaking so much. but it is a subject close to my heart and I wish you the best. Also, your friend.

[glucoze]

Yes. And everyone thinks of it as you stay or you go,.

They all tell me to go, that i am crazy for staying. You know, as a person I grew. I learned how to deal with him and his random mood changes. I learned to accept it, and how to get around it without being sad or depressed..

 

I think out of everyone in my life , he is someone I can never and will never stop caring about. Even if we end up not being together, secretly there will always be apart of me that will want him romantically. I just want him to be happy. I know for sure he isn't.. and this could hurt him in the long run.

Maybe if he moves out of his mothers house things can be a lot easier.

I know how you feel, it's okay. I share the exact same feelings..

[boowant]

I think what you have said here this is BI-POLAR, im BI-Polar.. Is realyy a cry out for help! Try your hardest to make him take his meds, this will make him stable and you will have a better relationship, not saying itll help all the probs. but some times you have to deal with others fails ! Evertone has theres and if you rally trully love him this wont be a problem! My bofriend has bealt with me and we are still togther after 5 years but i take my meds, if you really think hes gonna hurt him self then then call 911 and the will admit him to the psy word this may help !