how many girls is too many?

[Iakasot]

How do you define loose values tho? having lots and lots of partners to me means that the guy has not been picky. I'm extremely picky myself so I can't imagine being with a guy who would sleep with whatever woman who hits on him. I'm not saying he is a bad person for that or anything, but he would not be the right guy for me.

 

Again I agree that it doesn't mean that they are not capble of having loving sex. But how likely is it that they commit to a serious relationship ? I happen to think (and I have some evidence to back it up) that they are less likely to want to commit for a long time and much less likely to see sex as something more than just a physical act.

 

From an evolutionary standpoint it's almost impossible for men to be as picky as women. Let's say you were only attracted to 1% of men. Now, let's look at those men, and say they're as picky as you for the sake of argument, so they only have a 1% chance of being attracted to you. So that's (1/100)*(1/100) probability that you'd JUST go out with them, let alone mate with them. With odds of 1:10000 like that, the human race would die out, that's why men will never be as picky as women. I mean, women are always gonna be picky, but you can't expect the same from men.

 

There was a study done where attractive guys walked around campus and asked girls to go on a date them, and 50% said yes or something, results were similar for girls asking random guys the question. In the same study, they also asked the question of "Would you go to bed with me?", 0% of girls said yes (no surprise there), while 75% of guys said yes. Keep in mind, this is ATTRACTIVE guys asking the question.

 

Do you think you'd get picked if guys were as picky as you? What I've noticed is that a lot of girls wouldn't date themselves and their own flaws. Do you think if a guy mirrored back your flaws you'd reject him? (or dump him if you're already dating)

 

I also noticed that guys are less picky than they let on ("of course i picked you because we're soul mates and not because you asked me out"), and girls are more picky than they let on ("of course i wouldn't dump you if you showed that flaw, even though i rejected this and this and this guy for it, and dumped x amount of guys for it"). Seeing this sort of thing just makes me believe that "compatibility" in general is a delusion.

 

60 girls isn't a lot for 20 years of dating (~15 to 35), let's say 20 one night stands (one a year isn't bad), 20 short term relationships (or romantic flings let's say a month each, the ones i'm talking about where the chemistry is perfect but you know it's not gonna last), and 20 LTRs. Each LTR ends up being almost a year long in this situation, and it's a very realistic situation for a guy like him. Factor in the fact that he is in his 30s now and not his 20s and will want to settle down now, so no one night stands and wild partying. Like someone said in previous posts, you could be missing out on an incredible relationship.

 

You said he was sensitive and caring, right? Actions speak louder than assumptions based on a number, remember that.

[amtjrtcet]

My only advice...get STD testing before sleeping with this guy.

 

I agree, but do this with everyone...

 

Personally I've had exactly 25 partners in my life. I'm a 28 yr old female. I would say the majority of my 'experience' came about when I was 19-23... In the last 4 yrs I've only been with two men, one of which is my husband.

 

My husband doesn't really know how many women he's slept with, but he knows its well over 50. He's 30. Much of his came about in his yrs as a college football player.

 

Its all up to you on what is acceptable or not, everyone will have a different opinion. If he's a good guy and he's good to you, and those women are of the 'past'...then what does it really matter?

[FathomFear]

Well, personally, I don't find the number of 60 to be all that shocking. I had single friends in university who would go out to the bars and practically shack up with someone new every weekend. If you carry this kind of lifestyle even for 1-2 years, which many college/university students do, you easily reach the 50-60 threshold.

[lana111]

i wouldnt consider dating someone with that many partners.

 

however, i know a few of my buddies have easily been with that many. its not uncommon.

 

also, consider his age. would you consider an average of 3 partners a year a lot? probably not. so if he has been having sex for 20 years... thats 60 right there.

[Iakasot]

i wouldnt consider dating someone with that many partners.

 

however, i know a few of my buddies have easily been with that many. its not uncommon.

 

also, consider his age. would you consider an average of 3 partners a year a lot? probably not. so if he has been having sex for 20 years... thats 60 right there.

 

So even though you don't consider this "a lot", this would still be too much for you to date?

[lana111]

it's too much for ME and my little mind, not a lot in general hahah.

 

just vouching for both sides...

[Iakasot]

it's too much for ME and my little mind, not a lot in general hahah.

 

just vouching for both sides...

 

How can you be sure that the majority don't have YOUR mentality. (majority of girls) That's what would define "general", right?

[Seraphim]

Not the kind of person I would ever have sex with for a varying number of reasons, but you can only judge for yourself.

[amtjrtcet]

i wouldnt consider dating someone with that many partners.

 

however, i know a few of my buddies have easily been with that many. its not uncommon.

 

also, consider his age. would you consider an average of 3 partners a year a lot? probably not. so if he has been having sex for 20 years... thats 60 right there.

 

so if you met someone, and he was everything you were looking for, treated you like a queen, and you fell head over heels for him...then you found out he'd slept with 50 women...you'd leave him??

[Day_Walker]

I think that you personally have to decide if that having 60 partners is appropriate in and of itself. Personally, I know guys who are well into the 100s. I think that you can take the amount of partners that he has had into consideration and attribute that to his feelings towards sex and perhaps his personality. In and of itself a person is not how many people they sleep with.

 

In short I would say that you can make your assumptions based upon his number but that doesnt mean that your assumptions are correct.

[Blue Spiral]

I got a somewhat late start, and my number is starting to get up there. I think high numbers (for both genders) are much more common than people think.

[Go Habs Go]

I got a somewhat late start, and my number is starting to get up there. I think high numbers (for both genders) are much more common than people think.

 

 

IMO, this is why many people lack relationship skills. Because they build up their number of sexual partners and they don't have much experience in committed relationships.

[Blue Spiral]

IMO, this is why many people lack relationship skills. Because they build up their number of sexual partners and they don't have much experience in committed relationships.

 

I'm sure that's true for some people, but in my case, I was in a few committed relationships and didn't really enjoy it. So I don't have much relationship experience in the same way that I don't have much "pet the big angry growling dog" experience.

[annie24]

I think that you personally have to decide if that having 60 partners is appropriate in and of itself. Personally, I know guys who are well into the 100s. I think that you can take the amount of partners that he has had into consideration and attribute that to his feelings towards sex and perhaps his personality. In and of itself a person is not how many people they sleep with.

 

In short I would say that you can make your assumptions based upon his number but that doesnt mean that your assumptions are correct.

 

I agree with the bolded part strongly. a person is so much more than their virginity or lack thereof, or of their past sexual partners.

[afrodite79]

I wouldn't care. I've had a decent amount of partners. Not anywhere near 60 but probably way to many by a lot of people's standards. I've never cheated on a BF. My ex didn't want to sleep with me and it sucked and I still never cheated on him. I'm not that kind of person.

 

I'd rather see what a guy's character is like and if I get bad vibes about his personality. Having a lot of partners doesn't make someone automatically a bad person. Yeah some people who've slept around aren't cut out for monogamy but some are. Someone who has lots of partners can be an excellent and loving partner and someone who's only had 1 or 2 partners can be a horrible partner. It really depends on the persons character.

[Intense]

Look at the NUMBERS people!

 

Fact He is 35 years old.

Probability He started having sex at 16.

 

That means a total of 19 years of sex.

 

60 / 19 = 3.15 Only 3 new girls a YEAR!!

 

In case anyone wondered there are 12 months in a year.

 

Which means the poor guy only got laid every 4 MONTHS!!!