how many girls is too many?

[Is]

Because most want the experienced one over the virgin. So there's more pressure to sleep around. If a guy has been around and is seen in the company of women, he becomes more attractive. Social proof.

 

I think I am screwed then. GAME OVER I"S GAME OVER

[Sparkly Eyes]

Because most want the experienced one over the virgin. So there's more pressure to sleep around. If a guy has been around and is seen in the company of women, he becomes more attractive. Social proof.

 

That's BS. I don't want a man * * * * * . I find people with some self control way more attractive. Sure it's good if he has some experience, but there is nothing thrilling about a guy who sleeps around.

 

Also, if that was the case, the op wouldn't be here asking us this question!!

[Go Habs Go]

I think I am screwed then. GAME OVER I"S GAME OVER

 

 

Absolutely not. I just saw your thread, which I replied to. I'm sure you'll find my input rather helpful.

[Rangafro]

I think it's pretty safe to say they weren't all in relationships. At that number, he clearly takes sex lightly. I'm willing to bet a significant number of those were hook ups and one night stands.

 

I don't think it's fair to assume that his attitude towards sex in unattached casual relationships is going to be the same as it is in serious relationships.

[Go Habs Go]

That's BS. I don't want a man * * * * * . I find people with some self control way more attractive. Sure it's good if he has some experience, but there is nothing thrilling about a guy who sleeps around.

 

 

Social proof hun. It's very real and it does exist. While it is a double standard, women sleeping around and men sleeping around are completely different. Women don't gain status from sleeping around, men do. Just like men don't get status from turning down women, where as women do.

[Iakasot]

Obviously he liked you enough and felt comfortable enough with you to be honest about something to controversial. Clearly, he was wrong to assume he could feel comfortable with you...It looks like you've already made your decision. About #2 on your list: Why is it okay for you to be insecure, but not for him?

 

I would ask him to get tested and then I would give him a chance, but then again, I am a guy.

[Go Habs Go]

I don't think it's fair to assume that his attitude towards sex in unattached casual relationships is going to be the same as it is in serious relationships.

 

 

If he's slept with 60 people, it means he has no self-control. Generally, people that sleep around like that don't make good partners.

[Sparkly Eyes]

Social proof hun. It's very real and it does exist. While it is a double standard, women sleeping around and men sleeping around are completely different. Women don't gain status from sleeping around, men do. Just like men don't get status from turning down women, where as women do.

 

Men get that status from "men", not from women. A woman doesn't get thrilled when she hears a man's high number, if anything, she might wonder if this man is worthy of a relationship.

[Is]

If he's slept with 60 people, it means he has no self-control. Generally, people that sleep around like that don't make good partners.

 

Is going to be hard to believe that he will stop sleeping around just for a relationship commitment.

[DrKitten]

well, let's break it down - let's assume that he started having sex at 20 years old. that's an average of 4 women a year.

 

Yeah, even less than that if he had sex at a younger age. It's entirely your decision OP but you could be missing out on a great guy if you're going to judge him by his past. Not everyone has lived as a saint and it doesn't necessarily make them unable to have a committed relationship.

[Go Habs Go]

Is going to be hard to believe that he will stop sleeping around just for a relationship commitment.

 

 

That's my point. You're generally not going to see someone go from f*cking like a bunny to monogamous.

 

 

Men get that status from "men", not from women. A woman doesn't get thrilled when she hears a man's high number, if anything, she might wonder if this man is worthy of a relationship.

 

 

You're underestimating 2 things: 1)That women are attracted to those that are desired by other women, and 2)Women engage in casual sex more than you're letting on.

[Is]

Yeah, even less than that if he had sex at a younger age. It's entirely your decision OP but you could be missing out on a great guy if you're going to judge him by his past. Not everyone has lived as a saint and it doesn't necessarily make them unable to have a committed relationship.

 

Ok 4 woman a year, and lets say they were all relationships. Are you saying he can't maintain a relationship more than 3 months?

[Go Habs Go]

Ok 4 woman a year, and lets say they were all relationships. Are you saying he can't maintain a relationship more than 3 months?

 

 

That's another reason to assume it won't work out.

[Rangafro]

If he's slept with 60 people, it means he has no self-control. Generally, people that sleep around like that don't make good partners.

 

If he has slept with 60 people, it means he has slept with 60 people. Anything more you try to infer from that is grasping at straws.

 

Is going to be hard to believe that he will stop sleeping around just for a relationship commitment.

 

Hard to believe is not really good enough excuse, especially when the assumptions aren't really well evidenced but are pure generalisations. link removed

[Sparkly Eyes]

 

 

You're underestimating 2 things: 1)That women are attracted to those that are desired by other women, and 2)Women engage in casual sex more than you're letting on.

 

lol, I'm a woman myself and I have many female friends. We do like our guys with some experiences, so he knows how to treat women, however, none of us would like a guy simply because he banged many women. It is a turn off for me and all of my friends!

 

I think maybe women that have been promiscuous themselves, would not mind and even like a guy with more partners.

[Is]

If he has slept with 60 people, it means he has slept with 60 people. Anything more you try to infer from that is grasping at straws.

 

 

 

Hard to believe is not really good enough excuse, especially when the assumptions aren't really well evidenced but are pure generalisations. link removed

 

Would you date a woman who slept with 60 different men? Would you risk the chance of diseases, and the risk that she might lie to you about her children (If any)?

[Rangafro]

Would you date a woman who slept with 60 different men?

 

I would need more information.

 

Would you risk the chance of diseases

 

I would like my partners to be screened regardless of how many people they have slept with.

 

the risk that she might lie to you about her children?

 

I'm not sure what this means. It assumes I'd be put off by children, or that children are not difficult to hide.

 

EDIT: OK I see what you mean, you mean if we had our own children. That can be tested as well if need be.

[Go Habs Go]

If he has slept with 60 people, it means he has slept with 60 people. Anything more you try to infer from that is grasping at straws.

 

 

If that number isn't a red flag to you, then I don't know what to say.

 

 

lol, I'm a woman myself and I have many female friends. We do like our guys with some experiences, so he knows how to treat women, however, none of us would like a guy simply because he banged many women. It is a turn off for me and all of my friends!

 

I think maybe women that have been promiscuous themselves, would not mind and even like a guy with more partners.

 

 

Sexual experience has nothing to do with how to treat women. I know women mean well and I'm not saying otherwise. But I have seen many women say the logical thing(s) and do the exact opposite in reality.

 

As for promiscuous women, sure they like the stud. But this gets back to social proof. They say men double their number of partners while women cut theirs in half. Is it stupid? Absolutely, but there has to be a reason for it.

[Jpo]

I don't really find that so hard to believe. Let's say he started having sex at 16, that is one girl about ever 4 months. In my opinion it isn't that unbelievable. I have slept with 11 girls and I'm 22.

[DrKitten]

Ok 4 woman a year, and lets say they were all relationships. Are you saying he can't maintain a relationship more than 3 months?

 

Of course the numbers aren't going to work out like that realistically. It's pretty pointless to draw up hypothetical situations. We don't know what his longest relationship has been or how many one night stands he's had.

 

All I'm saying I wouldn't decide whether or not to date a guy based on numbers or sexual history. If we like each other and seem compatibile, I see no reason to go through his history for red flags.

[Rangafro]

If that number isn't a red flag to you, then I don't know what to say.

 

If the majority of his experiences are casual NSA encounters I'd say 60 is quite modest.

 

I'm not saying that there isn't cause for concern, just that there isn't enough to be making assumptions.

 

Might I add that I have had only one sexual partner and don't indulge and casual promiscuous sex myself. I am curious what assumptions you make about me based on this.

[Sparkly Eyes]

If that number isn't a red flag to you, then I don't know what to say.

 

 

 

 

 

Sexual experience has nothing to do with how to treat women. I know women mean well and I'm not saying otherwise. But I have seen many women say the logical thing(s) and do the exact opposite in reality.

 

As for promiscuous women, sure they like the stud. But this gets back to social proof. They say men double their number of partners while women cut theirs in half. Is it stupid? Absolutely, but there has to be a reason for it.

 

well, I didn't mean sexual experience, just experience with women in general.

 

Men don't double their numbers for women, only if their number is too low. I know some men with very high numbers and they say that they always lie about it or just don't talk about it because it has turned off women or in some cases made them angry.

 

I think promiscuous women like promiscuous guys so they don't feel insecure. A guy with less sexual experience is more likely to make them feel bad for their number.

[Jpo]

Would you date a woman who slept with 60 different men? Would you risk the chance of diseases, and the risk that she might lie to you about her children (If any)?

 

Um... There are things called STI tests. No big deal really, most people get them every 3 months. Just go have her/him tested if you are so worried. Not an unreasonable request of someone who has slept with so many.

 

Anyway, most STIs are completely treatable and go away fairly quickly (like most infections). This is a big overreaction in my opinion. Do you realize that you can get diseases being around anyone (without sex)?

[Jpo]

Of course the numbers aren't going to work out like that realistically. It's pretty pointless to draw up hypothetical situations. We don't know what his longest relationship has been or how many one night stands he's had.

 

All I'm saying I wouldn't decide whether or not to date a guy based on numbers or sexual history. If we like each other and seem compatibile, I see no reason to go through his history for red flags.

 

Completely agree. There is no way to judge how long his relationships were by that. Maybe he had a four year relationship and then hooked up with club girls for the next year. Who knows? Who cares? As long has he doesn't have the AIDS or the herp, everyones good.

[Go Habs Go]

If the majority of his experiences are casual NSA encounters I'd say 60 is quite modest.

 

 

That's probably the case, but 60 is a sign that the person takes sex lightly.

 

 

Might I add that I have had only one sexual partner and don't indulge and casual promiscuous sex myself. I am curious what assumptions you make about me based on this.

 

 

I've been with 2. Neither of us are virgins, nor have we slept with a ton. But, if it came down to you and another guy and everything after sexual experience was the same, they'd take the other guy.

 

 

well, I didn't mean sexual experience, just experience with women in general.

 

Men don't double their numbers for women, only if their number is too low.

 

 

And why is that?