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My boyfriend has a room mate of the opposite sex, should I be upset?


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We just got back together and he lives with a girl. I told him I wasn't interested in being with him if he moved in with her as some type of way to hook up or something. He said that it just worked out perfectly that she lived close to his job and the rent was low. I met her before and she seems really nice and she has a boyfriend. Of course sometimes I think about how just the thought of my boyfriend living with a girl is bad but I don't know if my feelings are just me being insecure. What do you think? We have all hung out before and they don't seem like eachothers type or anything I just feel weird about it because it seems taboo or something. What do you think?

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I think you're being insecure. There's no reason to feel upset about this unless he's given you reason to.

 

I live with a guy and told my now-bf that when we started dating. Granted, my roommate is as gay as the day is long but I didn't tell him that immediately, as a way to base his reaction to see if that'd make him uncomfortable or jealous. It didn't and that's why he's great. Don't get upset over something that probably doesn't matter.

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We just got back together and he lives with a girl. I told him I wasn't interested in being with him if he moved in with her as some type of way to hook up or something. He said that it just worked out perfectly that she lived close to his job and the rent was low. I met her before and she seems really nice and she has a boyfriend. Of course sometimes I think about how just the thought of my boyfriend living with a girl is bad but I don't know if my feelings are just me being insecure. What do you think? We have all hung out before and they don't seem like eachothers type or anything I just feel weird about it because it seems taboo or something. What do you think?

 

Check out an ENA poster called princess5. She has a similar situation (though, her reactions to it are far more extreme) -- My advice for you is the same as her. If you trust him and you feel the situation is on the level, there's nothing more you can ask of him. Everything else must be done on your end.

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I can understand why you would be bothered, but if this was already the case before you got together, then there really isn't anything you can do about it.

 

Although, I wouldn't like it if my bf had a roommate of the opposite sex, I think it would really have to be how you feel towards him and if you feel you could trust him. Nothing in life is guaranteed, and the same goes for relationships.

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There is something I can do about it, I can choose not to put myself in this situation and just let go. I just feel like I really love him and I don't want to break up with him over something like this if nothing is going on. Like you said I will never no so I'm sorta confused on what to do. I asked him before if they ever flirt or anything and he says no no no its nothing like that but its not like he would tell me anyway right? Its kinda hard to figure out.

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How well do you know your boyfriend?

 

I've had two male roommates in the past. Both were in relationships (one engaged) and both tried stuff with me. I thought it would be fine because I didn't want to live with single guys and I thought they seemed nice. Wrong. You have every right to feel insecure.

 

Then again, I have seen other women live with guys and there haven't been any problems.

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There is something I can do about it, I can choose not to put myself in this situation and just let go. I just feel like I really love him and I don't want to break up with him over something like this if nothing is going on. Like you said I will never no so I'm sorta confused on what to do. I asked him before if they ever flirt or anything and he says no no no its nothing like that but its not like he would tell me anyway right? Its kinda hard to figure out.

 

It doesn't sound like you have a lot of trust in him. Are you sure you were ready to get back together with him at this time? If you can't completely trust him, it will never work.

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I think we all need to remind ourselves sometimes that we should assume people will behave like adults until they demonstate otherwise.

 

I would try to imagine a reverse scenario. If you were living with a guy, could you resist the temptation of cheating on your boyfriend? If so, there's no reason why you can't give that benefit of the doubt to your boyfriend now.

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I think we all need to remind ourselves sometimes that we should assume people will behave like adults until they demonstate otherwise.

 

I would try to imagine a reverse scenario. If you were living with a guy, could you resist the temptation of cheating on your boyfriend? If so, there's no reason why you can't give that benefit of the doubt to your boyfriend now.

I would never ever cheat on him, he has never cheated on me either.

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I think that whenever you feel insecure about it, you should remind yourself about what kind of guy your SO is. Remind yourself that he is a trustworthy and respectable person.

 

And if you don't think those things about him, then you might have to rethink the relationship. =/

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