Ex is going to propose to new gf

[HowDoUdoIt]

So, my ex and I broke up about 5 months ago. We were together for 2 1/2 years and lived together. He started dating another girl right after we broke up. I just found out that he's going to propose to her in 3 months...meaning they will have been together for only 9 months! * * * ! I'm sitting here crying over this. I don't want him anymore... he wasn't right for me. But I can't help but be upset and cry. It's just not fair. He doesn't deserve to be the one that's happy. I know I'm just sitting here feeling sorry for myself, but I haven't fallen in love again. I'm dating but not finding "the one" yet, which is fine. But it just seems so unfair that he's the one going to get married...and so soon after he got with her AND after we broke up! I just don't understand. We were together for over 2 years and lived together and we never even talked about marriage seriously. And actually, right before we broke up, we had started talking about it. Then we broke up and he told me he had fallen out of love with me months earlier.

 

And in case anyone is wondering, the reason I feel he doesn't deserve to be happy is because he's the reason I left him. He lied to me all the time and just couldn't be honest with me. I finally had enough and left.

 

Anyway, I'm half just venting, and the other part of me is wondering why it happens like this. Why do people break up with someone after so long and then run and jump into marrying someone else?

[mandyc]

im sorry hun, that would be really hard on anyone. I personally don't think that 9 months of dating is enough time to really know if that person is the one. I believe that you should live with someone and know that you can get through the bad times together, not just the good.

 

But if he could never be honest with you then at least you can be thankful that you aren't the one marrying him. It might seem unfair now, but if he pulls the same stuff with her that he did with you then you will be feeling so lucky that you just broke up rather than having to file divorce papers....

[coyote1980]

"He lied to me all the time and just couldn't be honest with me."

 

Good thing you found out about it before YOU got married!!

Look on the bright side. You will find a MUCH MUCH BETTER MAN someday.

 

My ex cheated on me and gave some chick a promise ring within a month after our breakup.

Guess what? He got dumped soon after that.

Sure, life's not fair, but I believe in karma.

[Ms Darcy]

And in case anyone is wondering, the reason I feel he doesn't deserve to be happy is because he's the reason I left him. He lied to me all the time and just couldn't be honest with me. I finally had enough and left.

 

Anyway, I'm half just venting, and the other part of me is wondering why it happens like this. Why do people break up with someone after so long and then run and jump into marrying someone else?

 

This is tough. You broke up with him and now you are feeling jealous that he's (apparently) finding happiness. You feel like he made you break up with him and that he doesn't derserve happiness. Unfortunately, you do not have the right or the power to determine if he deserves happiness. But you do have the right to work on your own happiness.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I am not quite sure how you know he is going to propose to her in three months. If he talked about marriage to you and then claimed he wasn't even in love with you when he was talking about marriage, what makes you think that he is more serious with this woman. If he is a habitual liar he could say anything to keep her sweet. Maybe he wanted this information to get back to you to hurt you. As much as it hurts to see that he is seemingly happy (habitual liars are actually not very happy people), be grateful you are no longer with someone who is dishonest.

[1guygirl]

i give it a few months... ...theyre still in the 'honeymoon' stage after all. lets see how it pans out when everyday life takes it toll

 

sometimes peeps jus lurve the drama and sometimes they jus love letting and showing their ex jus how much theyve moved on...i think this is the case here and in which case you were right to end it with somone who would go down these lines

 

my ex ex jus left and within 7 weeks he was "engaged to the one" ...at that very moment i had to laugh cos it hit me what an unstable wingnut he really was and not mature enough to be anything i consider a husband that i was weeks within marrying....talk about a dodged bullet. karma does come and get em cos that 'one' of his cleaned his bank account out

[jimmajam]

i give it a few months... ...theyre still in the 'honeymoon' stage after all. lets see how it pans out when everyday life takes it toll

 

sometimes peeps jus lurve the drama and sometimes they jus love letting and showing their ex jus how much theyve moved on...i think this is the case here and in which case you were right to end it with somone who would go down these lines

 

my ex ex jus left and within 7 weeks he was "engaged to the one" ...at that very moment i had to laugh cos it hit me what an unstable wingnut he really was and not mature enough to be anything i consider a husband that i was weeks within marrying....talk about a dodged bullet. karma does come and get em cos that 'one' of his cleaned his bank account out

 

I have to agree with 1guygirl for the most part. Nobody can make a clear decision going from one person, coming back, leaving and marrying someone else so quick. He's setting himself up for failure. There's a chance it could be "true love (yeeeah right)", but the odds are against them. Just wait til all the things come out that they don't yet know about each other.

 

This would kill me, so I feel your pain.

[EQIQ]

I know a guy that had recently broken up with a long-term girlfriend (about 2 years ago or so). This guy is a real nice dude, quite older than me. He felt so alone, and all that. Shortly after this new girl came around, they started dating, and married I believe within 6 months or so.

 

Now about a year after marriage, she is completely dis-respectful of him, giving his life hell. She will go out, not tell him where she is going, come back like late at night, etc. Pretty much, a failed marriage, I am just waiting to see how long it takes before they divorce.

 

Bottom line here, when people make big choices like that, after coming out of a relationship, and being in a low emotional state, odds are they are making a bad choice. You shouldn't feel bad, you are doing good in not having anything serious yet, it is safer, you are giving yourself time to heal, and clear your hea,d an dmake sure you find someone that is good for you, not just someone to take your loneliness away. Don't fall into the rebound trap.

[fLuiD]

I dont mean to be rude, but why do you care if he is getting married or not? Did you think he was going to never find someone after you and him broke up? Yes it definitely is a huge blow to one's ego, but his problems are her problems now...not yours. You have gotten rid of a burden that you had no real reason to deal with. Head high, chin up. One day you will be proposed to and life will move on.

[shessofly]

you can be happy too. work on getting over him and don't worry about or seek out any information about his whereabouts/love life (not saying you did). you'll be okay. hang in there. you are just as free to date around as he is. just because you haven't found "the one" doesn't mean that you won't someday. sounds like your heart isn't ready to accept that person anyway. heal from this and don't fret about your future.

[SULLY323]

Life really is unfair, isn't it? It seems that the "bad" ones get the rewards. I have gone through this stage as well. Not exactly the same of course, but close enough. I know how painful it is and it really is unfair, but that's just how it goes sometimes. Just take a deep breath, and know that you are better off without him. And it WILL get better for you, eventually.

[HeartGoesOn]

Why are you keeping tabs on a guy that you chose to break up with?

[Brenda222]

I have a good one. We were together 7 years. He then told me he doesnt love me anymore. 2 months late his ex was sleeping in our bedroom with him, with our child in the bed sometimes, 6 yr old boy. Im the one wondering also. Why does he get his life the way he want to and I am the one who sits here depressed, hurting and sad. Its like they say. Karma comes back and bites you in the bu... Hes left me for her twice. I wont do it a third time. I know how he is. When things get hard with us he runs back to her and she takes him back. So why does he get the happiness and I am alone and sad. Maybe Karma does come back. Each time he has done this to me he have knocked on the door and said I love you. I think now he has to keep up the front to everyone to show why he put me and our child out of our home. No matter how it gets over there he wont let himself look like a fool to relatives and friends by leaving her or even getting back with me. I still love him though. I think its that Im still in love with him instead. If hes been so happy when he has left me for her why does he keep coming back. He once told me pride wouldnt let him come back not love. This is the first time he has said I dont love you, then said I love you still the next week. I think he is mixed up, confused and wants to put on a show for everyone that he got rid of me.

[HeartGoesOn]

So, you're willing to allow him to come bouncing back to you, every time he's done with her? Would you tell a friend to stay with a person that behaves in this way?

[Brenda222]

This time I wont let him back, love or no love, Im thru with it because it will happen again, this is his pattern. I deserve more respect.