I cannot attract women.

[UserLain]

Ugh.

 

Dude...

 

No-one said that you SAID you were scared of anything. I could just as easily ask you, how many times do I have to CLARIFY and repeat MYself?

 

We're talking about a female impression of a guy in the situation you are in. Whether you are scared or not, your friends spoke and you didnt. Many girls take that exactly the way I described above. Which is exactly what I SAID above. That is ALL i said.

 

Also, a girl who knows you think she's pretty and then you say she seems interesting to talk to without giving any reason why makes you appear to many girls like someone who in fact likes her only because she's pretty and is acting "interested". Which, in most cases, screams this to a girl: boring, and "nice guy" (the negative meaning of it, which is using kindness, feigning interest, when really all he's thinking is she's beautiful and he wants her to like him). Any woman would confirm that. At least one (above) already has.

 

Ok, so you're not scared.

Initiating a conversation in facebook instead of in person makes you look scared. It doesn't matter if you don't have class with her. It doesn't matter what your schedule is either. You could make the time and you could find the girl on campus. So, Why didnt you?

 

While I'm at it, what is it you find interesting about her?

 

 

I honestly speak to people better in person. I know the message is boring. When I talk to a woman in person I do ask her questions about herself such as what she likes, her passion in life, where she is from, etc. I always get to know who the woman is instead of just focusing on her body.

 

That's good. Hopefully that's not the majority of the way the conversation goes tho or it would still be boring... A girl doesn't want to be interviewed, after all. She needs to know you're worth the time to even be talking to you and telling you about herself. What Annie described above is what I was talking about when I said conversation being an aphrodisiac.

 

She does tell her friends she wants to talk to me. She always tell them this. She also told my boss to tell me thank you and she was very flattered.

 

Good.

[Mr. Franklin]

She knows this is the only way for us to talk. I don't know her schedule. We have NO classes together. There is NO way for me to find this girl.

 

I am interested in her because she seems like a sweet girl to get to know.

 

I am not only asking questions to the girls. I try to talk about what they like. However I have nothing in common with girls who I liked(I don't know about this current girl). I normally keep the talk short and tell the girl I have to go to class or work because there is no connection.

 

I was in the office earlier this year when this black girl was in the office. I was talking about my favorite colors Purple and Gold for the Lakers and Vikings. The girl heard me and commented that she is wearing my colors. She was trying to talk with me about the colors. My friend said she was hitting on me, but I really didn't think so.

 

One of the girls who rejected me had really good conversations with me daily until I told her that I liked her. We got to know each other very well and were becoming close. She was completely turned off and stopped being my friend. She told me that there was not physical attraction and that was what she based her decision on.

[sweetdslollipop]

Maybe try meeting girls outside of school?

[Mr. Franklin]

Maybe try meeting girls outside of school?

 

I never really tried that. I am not sure where to begin with that.

 

I am now an official staff member of Pi Sigma Alhpa on campus so maybe I will meet some new girls.

[cazmoore]

You're not bad looking, I think you're a cutie pie. I like your ears! If you hate them, get surgery for them...

 

But you do have esteem issues... girl can smell esteem issues a mile away and it's not the best quality in guys.

[UserLain]

See? And that's comin from cazmoore, who's a stunna

[Mr. Franklin]

Most people do not realize my confidence problems with women until I actually mention it because someone normally ask me about my dating life. Like I told everyone I am very confident in everything I do except for getting a woman to like me.

 

Anyways the girl told me that she has no interest in me. She also denies everything that our friends have told me. She denied that she agreed to come to the office party to talk to me, that she was excited about me finding her attractive, and wanting to talk to me period. I don't know who to believe. I don't think my boss would lie to me because she is a honest person. My friend who invited her to the party is very respected. Everyone tells me that he is trustworthy. Well at least it is over.

[orchidrose]

Anyways the girl told me that she has no interest in me. She also denies everything that our friends have told me. She denied that she agreed to come to the office party to talk to me, that she was excited about me finding her attractive, and wanting to talk to me period. I don't know who to believe. I don't think my boss would lie to me because she is a honest person. My friend who invited her to the party is very respected. Everyone tells me that he is trustworthy. Well at least it is over.

 

Unfortunately, this isn't very surprising to me. I think that based on what you told us, this was likely the case. I don't know your boss, but if you've been down lately about not being able to find a girl, she might've said these things to you in order to boost your confidence and make you pursue this girl more.

[UserLain]

Ugh, I'm sorry to hear it dude. But yea, it doesn't matter who to believe now. What she wants you to believe is what she wants you to believe. And it doesn't really matter now what happened, cuz all that matters is she isn't interested. I hope you'll consider our ideas for the future, this one definitely didn't pan out, and you did make some classic mistakes. Whether they are the reason or not I can only guess. But my educated guess would say they are, this isn't too surprising. At the least please don't let your friends speak before you do. And if you can't trust them to hold their tongues, don't tell them when you like a girl. They may really mean well and being trying to help, but really, you have no idea how bad it makes you look in a girls eyes.

[Mr. Franklin]

They only invited her to the party. They did not speak for my behalf. They never told what I thought about her.

 

I was not down about this girl. My boss did not lie to me. We spoke about this today.

 

Most girls who I have liked I spoken to them face to face. Some I had good talks with. They do honestly say that I am sweet and charming just too ugly to date. I don't express myself well when trying to find a girl online. It just seems weird to me, and I don't express interest very well as you all read. I am more comfortable talking to a person face to face. The only difference with this girl was that I did not have any way to talk to her directly face to face. As I said I have no clue about this girl's classes.

 

I believe this is it for me. I am not going to try to find anyone else. I've had enough rejections.

[shwayze]

sorry to hear it man. Focus on school and classes for a while

Hopefully you will meet someone in your classes

[dr_styles]

then get the surgery (no temporary measures like cosmetic glue or tape?) to "fix" as you say, your ears - do what you need to for YOUR confidence.

[Mr. Franklin]

Women did not want me when I had confidence. I am not getting surgery to buy someone's love. my life.

[orchidrose]

Women did not want me when I had confidence. I am not getting surgery to buy someone's love. my life.

 

I think that's smart. You don't need to AND you shouldn't have to. The woman who will love you will love all of you, including your ears. Surgery might build your confidence, but ultimately it changes who you are - and there's nothing wrong with who you are.

 

I think you should take some time to work on getting that confidence back. Dive into school, make new friends, and work on being happy with what you have. That's how you gain confidence - and that's when women will be fighting to get with you.

[Mr. Franklin]

I think that's smart. You don't need to AND you shouldn't have to. The woman who will love you will love all of you, including your ears. Surgery might build your confidence, but ultimately it changes who you are - and there's nothing wrong with who you are.

 

I think you should take some time to work on getting that confidence back. Dive into school, make new friends, and work on being happy with what you have. That's how you gain confidence - and that's when women will be fighting to get with you.

 

It's ironic that you said that. I've been doing everything you said since I've been going to college. I am honestly happy with who I am. I'm just not happy about being seen as ugly crap by women.

[dr_styles]

I know you shouldn't "have" to, but you're just repeating the reason why I said you should get your ears done. Doesn't matter what word you slap on it - "confidence", "happiness", it's clearly affecting you negatively so much.

[IronMaidenRox]

Mr. Franklin, why are you being so rude towards people who just want to help you out on attracting women? You seem like you are not proud of some features of your body. Either get surgery on the parts you don't like or just accept that this is who you are.

[Mr. Franklin]

I am not very proud of the fact that I am without any physical attractive features. Like I said IronMaidenRox I will not buy love. I rather die alone then get surgery to make someone accept me.

 

I am happy with who I am as a person and everything about my life except for not being attract anyone.

[ItRainsItPours]

They do try to encourage me to talk to girls, but lately I've been chickening out.

They were also practicing a pick up line I made up. I was too scare to use it so they decided to try it out. It work most of the time.

 

you did say you were scared of talking to girls. noone is putting words in your mouth. you came to this board asking for help yet you shoot down everyone elses advice. if yours what correct you wouldnt be asking for help.

 

your message to that girl was too formal sounding. you need to try and make yourself more friendly and inviting. also when you saw that girl checking you out did you go and talk to her? did you atleast smile back? these are the things you need to do.

 

also saying that you were once confident but it did not help you get women is counter productive. if you were truley confident you wouldnt have just lost it, and you would eventually have landed yourself a girl.

 

right now you seem to have a bit of an ego and a little pretentious. try to transfer that into confidence, and stop wearing such baggie clothes, be more inviting, and you should be good to go.

[Go Habs Go]

Franklin,

 

 

There's been a lot of good advice in this thread. Whether you choose to use it is up to you, but I suggest you consider some of it.

 

Can't believe this thread made it to 17 pages.

[Mr. Franklin]

I never said I was scared to talk to women. Don't lie about what I said. I said THAT I DO NOT LIKE USING PICK UP LINES. Is that too hard to understand?

 

 

 

Get your facts correct.

 

When every girl tells you, you are ugly as crap then you would lose confidence to. How can you expect someone to keep confidence when every woman in the real world tells me that I am ugly? I don't see how someone can be confident when they are unwanted.

 

I did smile at her back.

 

I do NOT talk like that to girls in person. I said for MILLIONS of times I talk to girls with no problems in person. I don't like talking to girls online. It's way too limited. There is not a way for me to truly show my personality. She does not know what I sound like and the way I say things. There is no body language.

 

My clothes are not baggy. What are you looking at?

[annie24]

Mr. Franklin - You've told us that you can't attract women and tons of posters have tried to offer suggestions on how you can change that. you basically are shooting down everything with 'i've already tried that, didn't work' or whatnot. people are just trying to help you. You are so young and have so much time. I'd work on being less defensive and trying to become more comfortable in your own skin. you'll find love in time.

[soporcogitavi]

Mr. Franklin, I have avoided replying to this thread due to the fact that it seemed you had ample individuals helping you. However you do seem defensive, and although I understand that you feel hurt or rejected due to the fact that girls seem not be attracted to you, you must understand that all these posters have dedicated their time to help you. Every suggestion that is given to you seems to be shot down by yourself immediately. Im not sure what it is you need help with.

 

Just take some time to yourself and enjoy being with yourself, I know you're probably saying right now "I am comfortable with myself, what are you talking about, it's women that arent comfortable around me." I respectfully disagree however, you're young and need more experience and confidence, despite what you might think. I think that maybe you're lacking self confidence when you talk in person to girls, you just dont see it.

 

I would try online dating, while you say "I don't like talking to girls online. It's way too limited. There is not a way for me to truly show my personality" This is just temporary, the online part is a means to end, thus you will first chat online, but given how things go you will have the chance to meet them in person.

 

Be patient, enjoy being with yourself, no pressure to meet someone, and dont be so close minded. Open yourself to new experiences, suggestions, settings, and points of views.

 

Remember all the comments and posts here are not criticisms, they're simply the points of views and opinions of the many people trying to offer you help. You cant fault them for perceiving the situation in their own light.

 

You seem like a good guy, all the best to you.

[Mr. Franklin]

I am not trying to be disrespectful. I have been doing the things people are advising me to do for years. It does not work for me. I am comfortable with who I am. I don't have any problems with who I am as a person. I have common sense. I know what confidence is. I have no problems with speaking to women in person.

 

I cannot control the fact every girl at every school I go to find me to be too ugly to date. Attraction is something that cannot be control.

 

I had a presentation a few weeks ago about racism in sports for my sociology class. Everyone was impressed. My teacher who I am very close to said that the energy, humor, and charisma I have will bring in alot of dates. So far the energy, humor, and charisma has brought in zero dates.

 

I just need to accept reality that I am too ugly for a cute girl, and just accept the fact I will stay single for life.

[marmalade]

I think you look a little like Will Self accross the eyes!

You're style is conservative, and that suits the kind of woman you want to meet.

Therefore I'd say continue to respect yourself as you do, and search for a woman amongst the Christian community you're a part of.