Thoughts, ramblings

[LAYAAN]

The last couple of weeks I was seriously considering stepping down and going part-time. When I shared what's happening at the workplace with a very experienced team member, she allwoed me to vent and then asked me to think about something.

Her "If you go to your boss tomorrow and tell her that you don't want to continue working at the current position, she won't tell you that you have to suck it up and keep working. She will accept your desire to step down. You have to think about why you are doing this. Is it because work is hard right now or because you want to go in a different direction?

If you want a part-time position working 2 or 3 days at the same place you are at, she may say yes, but getting what you want in a matter of a couple of weeks seems almost impossible because they don't have anyone lined up for your position.

or She may say "No, there is currently no part-time position in the district."

That means you will either have to resign or wait until they can offer you a part-time position. If you resign, you go from being employed full-time to jobless in a matter of couple of weeks. Do you currently have anything lined up to occupy your time?

If you agree to stay on until they find someone for your position or until they have a part-time position open, who knows how long that will be? At least a couple of months? Your techs may be coming back by that time.

 

A coach I recently talked to mentioned, "You can decide to suck it up and stay in retail or you can start applying for non-retail positions and see what response you get. You will only need a different degree to do hospital/clinical work. You will still need the residency experience, hospital experience, and all those additional certifications if you want to go further on the clinical route and work in ICU, or do oncology, ID, or nuclear work. Understand that whether you apply for industry or clinical positions, you will still have to move. So, ask yourself if you really must work a clinical position since it looks like it will take at least another 3 years for you to start working that position.

 

Getting a hospital or clinical position would require a different degree (non-traditional path with mostly online classes for people that have a license). Sadly, the deadline for fall 2018 has already passed for all universities offering that degree path. So, I will have to wait until next year January and if I'm accepted then I start school in Fall 2019. After obtaining that degree, I still have to apply for residency and hope to match. There is always a chance that I won't match. In fact only 54% of applicants match since the spots are so few (just being very realistic). Whatever I decide, the bottom line is that the longer I stay in retail, the harder it will be to get any position outside retail. That is why I should consider staying in retail only part-time and hustle to do different kind of work.

 

Now, coming back to the same concern. Will it be possible for me to step down to a part-time position soon? And what if I can't leave this position soon? I feel like I'm in a tricky situation. I don't have a job because I don't have time to look for a different job. If I open my mouth about going part-time, I risk losing this job altogether.

[Jibralta]

I'm still having a difficult time wrapping my head around the fact that pharmacists are getting so kicked around in the workplace. I don't doubt your misery, because I've witnessed the misery myself at my local CVS. But how could something like this this happen to such an educated segment of the population?

[marshmlofluff]

As far as not having time you can use a recruiter. Get a pro to do your resume. Not all industry jobs will require that you move.

[LAYAAN]

Yes, Jibralta... the business model and set up contributes a lot to the current state. Some problems I face are similar to what you see in any retail place. Others are unique to this place. If you go on some of the forums, you will read about similar experiences. I didn't believe it until I experienced it myself.

[Jibralta]

Well, you guys do have the brains to change things. Hopefully, you'll all band together and overthrow the evil pharmaceutical overlords.

[LAYAAN]

Well, yesterday manager's manager came to visit us. That meeting didn't go well. You know, how you have some managers that have one-track mind and they can't be wrong... she seemed that way to me. I don't have a good opinion of her since my 1st phone conversation with her. She comes across as way too aggressive to me.

 

It is more clear to me now than before that I can't perform to the level that they want me to... at least for now. When I said that we are short on employees and the competent ones, they said "No, you are not. You have to train them. You have to take ownership of the performance of your employees. You have to lead by example. We have done our part by coming here to talk to you and sharing valuable ideas with you. Now its upto you to implement them. When can we start to see changes?"

So, now they are not allowing any overtime. No extra people to replace the ones that are on medical leave. Instead, you want me to train the non-performing 60-yr old employees who don't care about the work anyway. That training should have taken place before. Not in the middle of a crisis situation. I am not able to perform a miracle.

 

I have the orthopedic surgeon's appointment coming up in a couple of days. Finger swollen again. Can't sleep at night. Not sure how to hang in there. Unless the surgeon allows me to go on a medical leave for a couple of months, I may have to resign.

[annie24]

If you have the money to quit, I guess it may be with it. You don’t sound happy at this job. It’s not like before, when finishing your exams or PhD was going to lead to a big payoff. It sounds like the only incentive you have is paying your bills. Have you spoken with your husband about this? Is he supportive?

[LAYAAN]

Yes Annie,

My husband has asked me several times to leave. It is me who is hesitant to leave because I don't know what else to do.

 

If I had competent and supportive staff, it would be different. If the bosses could send people up here (even on a temporary/rotating/transfer basis) to work, it would be much different, but neither is the case. It takes a bad a** management person to say that there is no need to work overtime when 2 people from a team are out long-term and insist that the same amount of work be done on time. So, my question to them is - if the business can run smooth when 2 great-performing people out of a team of 5 (remainder 2 are only good as cashiers and 1 is a new girl, trying her best to learn) are out then what is the need for them to come back to work? Why bother paying for their medical leave, their salary and benefits if things run smooth without them?

 

I also wasn't aware of the union rules and how much hold it has on what I can do until I started working at this position. You can't make people work so many days in a row. You can't make them work more than so many hours a shift. Lunch breaks should be min. this much time. Breaks are mandatory and should last this much time (never mind that noone is keeping a tab on how long they have been on a break). An employee can go on vacation absolutely whenever they want to. You can't deny them that. We can't fire anyone, we have to have documentation of talking to them, training them, their mistakes, this and that. You can't be asked to go to other places to work where the need is. So you have all these rights without any responsibility to perform. Am I wrong to want to step down and be a part of the union that babies me? (I'm sure it must be formed with a good intention. I feel that people are taking it a little too far)

[LAYAAN]

Went to the family practice guy. He says I've major depression and anxiety and has put me on a med. Has asked me to go to a psychiatrist.

When I asked him to give me a note to be off work, he said I can do that but I will have to mention the medical reason for why I'm pulling you off work. Do you want me to do that? I don't want them to use that against you at work.

 

Went to the surgeon today.

He thinks that this may be the beginning of osteoarthritis since my pain is in isolated spots.

Got blood test done hoping to rule certain things out. He isn't in favor of my going on medical leave since he doesn't believe that it would achieve much. He is also not sure how many days/months can he pull me off work. He somehow gave me a note to be off work starting today for a couple of weeks before the follow-up visit. I can't use it since we have a huge annual inventory coming up in a week's time. Staff person going for surgery and medical leave of 2 weeks. Another person is going on vacation starting this weekend.

 

One person was intersted in working here as a tech. Boss put a stop on it since that person would have to drive a couple of hours. You don't have anyone local applying here. The one that is applying you are not willing to give a chance to. How are we going to find someone?

 

I have sent an email to my boss requesting to talk. It is going to be a difficult conversation.

This is what I want to say - I have been battling with the pain for several months now and I kept pushing myself. It has gotten to a point that I have pain and swelling at rest. I have now consulted a couple of different specialists and they all seem to be saying the same thing that this looks like beginning stages of arthritis. I am requesting to step down from my position and possibly work part-time here or as a floater only 2-3 days a week. I will hang in there for a couple more weeks until the people that are going on vacation and surgery, etc. come back, but I can't continue working longer hours until I get better.

 

Not sure how the conversation will go. Either they will agree to this or disagree to this and I may have to resign or they may come up with some other plan for me.

[Jibralta]

When I asked him to give me a note to be off work, he said I can do that but I will have to mention the medical reason for why I'm pulling you off work. Do you want me to do that? I don't want them to use that against you at work.

 

Huh? He can write a note simply stating that a reason exists. He doesn't have to disclose it. Your employer doesn't have the right to know why you are being excused from work.

 

Are you going to see a psychiatrist or a therapist?

[Seraphim]

I am sorry about all your issues. :(

[itsallgrand]

Are you unionized as well?

 

I understand your frustrations with that. Unions can have their place, but they also have their downsides. It's funny the conversations and situations you are finding yourself in are so similar to what I've come across too. Chronic under staffing, lazy and incompetent workers being moved around and 'retrained' with it almost impossible to fire them, etc etc.

 

I don't know where you live but I agree with Jibralta - I went 'huh' that the doctor would say you'd have to disclose the nature of why you'd need medical leave. I'd do the research on the legalities of that for sure , for your area.

[LAYAAN]

Are you unionized as well?

I understand your frustrations with that. Unions can have their place, but they also have their downsides. It's funny the conversations and situations you are finding yourself in are so similar to what I've come across too. Chronic under staffing, lazy and incompetent workers being moved around and 'retrained' with it almost impossible to fire them, etc etc.

I don't know where you live but I agree with Jibralta - I went 'huh' that the doctor would say you'd have to disclose the nature of why you'd need medical leave. I'd do the research on the legalities of that for sure , for your area.

Looks like the people problems are same everywhere. sigh!

[LAYAAN]

I am sorry about all your issues. :(

Thanks Seraphim. Just that all things have come together at the same time. I have to hang in there upto 9th May minimum.

[LAYAAN]

Huh? He can write a note simply stating that a reason exists. He doesn't have to disclose it. Your employer doesn't have the right to know why you are being excused from work.

 

Are you going to see a psychiatrist or a therapist?

That's what I thought. I can't argue with my physician and prove him wrong and then try to get a medical note out of him. I am afraid I would be burning the bridge with him.

I do want to see a psychiatrist just to cover all bases. I already know that I'm stressed and have gone into depression because of lack of support from the management.

[LAYAAN]

My manager was there at the workplace. I grabbed the opportunity to talk to her. I was hesitant initially, but thought that I had waited enough for them to provide me support and they didn't. So, what's the point in dragging it out?

I said a little prayer and went to talk to her. I let her know that because of changes in my health and per the recommendation of my surgeon, I need to reduce my work hours. I wasn't giving any deadline, but the sooner the better. I also told her that the reason why I wasn't going on medical leave was because we didn't have a final diagnosis and my surgeon didn't know how long to pull me off the work for. Instead, by reducing work hours I could stay employed, I could also be of help at my workplace.

She was very understanding and supportive and said "You should be looking after your health first. You would have to step down since the position you are at is a full-time position and we may not have hours for you at this place because we still have to appoint someone in your place and give that person full-time hours. We already have a staff person. I will have to talk to my manager and see how to go about this."

 

We will see what they come up with.

[Jibralta]

It's good that she seemed empathetic. Are you ok with stepping down?

[LAYAAN]

Well, didn't think that I would have to step down so soon, but given everything that's happening at the workplace and my health, that seems like the wise thing to do.

[LAYAAN]

I need prayers and God's mercy to get me through these 2 weeks starting this Monday. Workplace is a total chaos right now.

 

We had another tech go on vacation because that's what she does every year around inventory time. She saves up her vacation time for that. She doesn't want to be followed around, doesn't want to be asked questions. Previous managers did exactly this. They just gave her those days off because she is too much to deal with while you are undergoing huge stress, anyway. She has been announcing to the world that she was excited to go on vacation. A little sensitivity towards your colleagues would have helped, but I guess it is too much to ask that of her.

 

Its close to 2am. I have to go to work tomorrow am. I can't even take a sleeping pill and I'm tossing and turning in bed. Sigh!

[marshmlofluff]

How are things?

[LAYAAN]

Hi Marsh, things have changed significantly in last 2 days.

[LAYAAN]

A few sudden changes have taken place. I could have written about it sooner, but my finger was hurting too much to type.

 

Tuesday I had a 4-hr surgeon's appointment. He gave the cortisone shot and the pain and swelling has been unbearable for last 3 days. I called the boss and let her know that I couldn't show up to work for a couple of days. They managed somehow.

 

Boss's boss showed up at workplace on Tuesday. Not sure why. I heard that they were there for a very long time, almost the entire day.

 

Got an X-ray of left knee which clearly shows the signs of degenerative joint disorder. I suspect that there is no need for an MRI, now.

 

Boss called me to let me know of this change -

Following up on my request to work fewer hours, I am now working only Sat and Sun. Since boss's boss doesn't want to have new faces everyday, she is trying to keep the similar staff Mon-Fri. I have agreed for now. The advertisement for a manager is already out. So, technically I'm on my way out of this company. I asked my boss if I can hand the key over to someone - no answer yet.

 

I have been sleeping more than 12 hours every night since Tuesday. Its only today that I can type a little bit with my right index finger, but even that little typing using a laptop keyboard hurts my index finger. I'm glad that I'll be working only 2 days a week. Once the MRI and nerve study of the finger is done, I really need to focus on finding another job.

[marshmlofluff]

I’m sorry to hear all this. I hope that with your board certification and job experience in your home country, you will be able to find a desk job, maybe even full time work from home. Hang in there.

 

It’s good that you are married; one of the potential benefits of marriage is having two incomes, so that if you need time off or to leave a job, you can do that.

[annie24]

Feel better. I think it’s good that you are leaving this job. I hope you find something better next. Get some rest!

[LAYAAN]

Thanks Annie and Marsh,

I really feel like I should have hung in there for some more time. May is a very bad time of the year to be looking for a job in my profession since the new wave of graduates is now hitting the already saturated market. sigh!