Which Type of the two are you?

[newlife21]

i think that there are two types of people:

 

A: you love your partner only if your partner loves you as much or to a reasonable extend.

 

B: you still love your partner even if your partner no longer loves you, or even mean to you.

 

i feel that a lot of people here in the forum are still suffering because they belong to type B. what do you think? did i make sense? what type are you? i belong to type A.

[danielle1973]

Wish I could say A, but I fall under the B category.

 

I wish I could stop loving him, but it just isn't happening.

[pinkelephant]

I'm generally A. I prefer to be practical. Though, there are exceptions.

[BraveStar]

Sadly I'd say I would fall under B too. I don't think I would stay in a relationship with someone if they didn't love me but that wouldn't stop me loving them, for a while at least.

[Hobbes]

A but if symptoms of B arise, namely the other person doesn't love me or doesn't appear to I put it down to temporary insanity on their part.

 

I can't work out if that makes me an optimist, pessimist or a total * * * * ing idiot. I'm leaning towards the latter.

[newlife21]

do you think belonging to type A or B is born with it or learned? i think it is like a person's personalities, born with it.

 

i think type B people are capable of unconditional love, which is a great type of love. but of course, they will suffer alot.

 

i also think that Superdave belongs to type B when i read his story. he is amazing....

[yeawutever]

It's gonna be the A for me, why would I want to have feelings when I don't get the same treatment in return?? Would make no sense...

[doiiiieeezie]

It depends on the relationship... I'm typically A... with my recent past relationship... I'm a B.... as I was told once: You could poop on my carpet and I would still love you. Sick... but really...

 

 

you can't control how you feel. only what you do about it.

[rosephase]

I love people even when they are mean or don't love me back, I just don't stay with or try and date those people. It's okay and even good in my book to love people and keep them in your heart, that doesn't mean I will let them hurt me.

 

I still very much love my ex's, I love friends and family who aren't a part of my life because they where destructive to themselves and others but I still love them and would give them time and give them another chance. Love is a good thing and shouldn't be conditional, what is conditional is time, energy, and effort.

 

I can deeply love someone but decide that for my owe good or there own wellbeing that I can’t put time or effort into the relationship any more.

 

I don’t know if that makes me A or B

[Rob1000]

Neither. When I fall in love, it is forever. I have only ever had 3 relationships (2yrs, 2yrs, 5yrs) and each time I would have married and spent the rest of my life happily in love with that person. That, to me, is what love is. Love is eternal.

[AutumnBorn]

Type B here, thank God. I can no more shut off my emotions than I could walk on water. If we could stop loving someone by choice, then it is not love at all. Love is not a decision, it's a verb.

 

Love and pain are sometimes synonyms.

[LillyLooWho]

AutumnBorn, I'm with you. People who only love people who love them back are not really in love.

[yeawutever]

Love is eternal.

I wouldn't be too sure about that. Love is a special chemical to your brain, hormones make you get those feelings. In a way it's like drug but see one can ran out of it and don't have those type of reactions no more, meaning no emotional feelings of attachment no more.

Love is for a long time or short, there is no limit but wouldn't say eternal. Anything can happen. People break up, lie, cheat, can insult you, arguments so badly enough to not love them no more, etc.... Then you're left back where you started before meeting them, single...

[newlife21]

AutumnBorn, I'm with you. People who only love people who love them back are not really in love.

 

i agree that type B people are very lovely people, to me, i even think they are noble.

 

but i think i was born type A, and i thank God for that. or maybe in my heart i still love that person, but in action i don't want to love that person anymore. so maybe it depends how you define love. adjective or verb.

[Mustachio]

I am type B... I was cheated on multiple times, dumped for other guys multiple times, lied to multiple times, and had my trust completely violated yet I still love her.

 

However, I must say, Love for me encompasses more than just the person, it was all experiences of my own related to her. And to be honest, Im not sure if I truly love her or just love what I had with her (and then even only to a degree) Recently, I have found myself more missing the experience of being with her, than her herself.

[LillyLooWho]

newlife, one way is not better than the other IMO. Both have good qualities and both have bad. Why someone is one way versus the other could be nature or nurture, who knows? So long as you feel like you are living and loving the way you want to, then there is no problem with that. Whatever gets you through the day.

[LillyLooWho]

The old saying goes "The heart wants what the heart wants." We don't pick the people we fall in love with because they are great people. We fall in love with them because we fall in love with them. No formula. Just happens.

[newlife21]

I am type B... I was cheated on multiple times, dumped for other guys multiple times, lied to multiple times, and had my trust completely violated yet I still love her.

 

However, I must say, Love for me encompasses more than just the person, it was all experiences of my own related to her. And to be honest, Im not sure if I truly love her or just love what I had with her (and then even only to a degree) Recently, I have found myself more missing the experience of being with her, than her herself.

 

i think it is hard to let go of the attachment that is already formed.

 

i am not an expert, i am not trying to act smart.

 

i realise that when my partner doesn't love me anymore, my willingness to be nice to him dies too. so i figure out that i am A.

[LillyLooWho]

Newlife, being nice to someone isn't a gauge to determine love. You are bitter when they leave and that is normal, but that is separate from love (IMO)

[newlife21]

newlife, one way is not better than the other IMO. Both have good qualities and both have bad. Why someone is one way versus the other could be nature or nurture, who knows? So long as you feel like you are living and loving the way you want to, then there is no problem with that. Whatever gets you through the day.

 

no i am not trying to say which type is better. i just feel that being type A shelter a person from hurt easier. i thank god not because type A is better, but because being type A, i feel less hurt.

 

i am just impressed by the amount of hurt type B people can take.

[LillyLooWho]

I think the bitterness or anger you feel when they leave blunts the pain. If that helps you to move on, good for you. People who forgive or turn the other cheek (Type B) definitely have a harder time moving on.

[Mustachio]

i am just impressed by the amount of hurt type B people can take.

 

Well I dont necessarily think that impressed is the proper word to use there. Its really not impressive, its actually kind of sad. I have taken so much hurt and abuse, that my feelings are completely confused and I find myself so attached that I dont really know who I am anymore.... whether or not I ever really knew myself.

[doiiiieeezie]

no i am not trying to say which type is better. i just feel that being type A shelter a person from hurt easier. i thank god not because type A is better, but because being type A, i feel less hurt.

 

i am just impressed by the amount of hurt type B people can take.

 

I could offend those in type A and say that it is not love... but one cannot judge...

 

If you love someone, you are bound to get hurt and heartbroken, whether you are with them or not. It's a part of life and if you do hold it in forever... it will self destruct.

 

Just saying.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

Newlife, being nice to someone isn't a gauge to determine love. You are bitter when they leave and that is normal, but that is separate from love (IMO)

 

I agree with what you are saying in your posts. I never bought into the whole "love is a verb" thing. Yes, when one loves they should be showing it by actions...however, lots of people do all the right actions but have no feeling of love..they are just faking it...conversely, many people feel the love but have too many emotional issues and can't seem to act on the love and show the love. I strongly believe that love is about feeling it..HOWEVER, in order for it to be of any value there has to be actions of love, not just feelings. The two go hand-in-hand. So regarding choice B, it really doesn't matter if a person loves someone who doesn't love them back...the feelings don't matter if they are not acted upon and are kept to themself. Over time the feelings might dwindle or just go on the backburner without any real consequence in ther person's life..they may still love, perhaps forever, but other things in life take precedence.

[coolchick64]

I think feeling love for someone is separate from being in a relationship with them. You can choose not to be with them if you don't like their actions, but I don't think that means you stop loving them. Is there really such a thing as type A?