BraveStar

You have broken my heart and caused me more pain than I hope you will ever know. Your were all I ever wanted and I never doubted our relationship for one second. I still feel so betrayed by your lack of desire to try and I don't understand any of it. I have spent a lot of time the last few days wondering who you are with now (because I know you are with someone) and it has been making me ill. I want you but I don't, I love you but I don't, the thought of ever having to see you again terrifies me as much as the thought that I may never see you again. I WILL get through this and I WILL be fine and this is in spite of you not because of you. I have allowed myself to feel everything the last three months, you meant the whole world to me and one day my world will be whole again without you.

I hate the fact that you were able to make me feel like this. I still don’t understand what changed. I supported you in everything that you did and as soon as everything comes good for you you left me and didn’t even seem to care. I feel so betrayed by you, you told me you loved me 3 weeks in and you were the one who suggested we move in together. How could you be too young for any of this now? I gave up everything for you and now you have everything. I’m sick of feeling this way, sick of not knowing where I went wrong. What right do you have to text me and ask me if I’m ok? Of course I’m not ok and I’m not going to say I am just so you can feel better. I can’t remember you ever apologising for anything. I know things were not the same towards the end but you didn’t even talk to me about it. You said things had changed and that was it, you didn’t even give us a chance to work anything out. You made up your mind before you even said anything to me. Why did you talk about buying a house with me, having kids with me when it was so easy for you to forget all about that the first time we hit a rough patch. I tried so hard to treat you well, to be there for you and I know you were there for me I just don’t understand how it all ended so fast. Did you ever love me? Did you mean anything you said? Was I so horrible? You broke my heart and I could never trust you again. I can’t imagine being able to be your friend, seeing you with someone else would break me again. I wish you hadn’t suggested we be friends, it was an empty gesture because I may never see you again. Do you ever have second thoughts about me? I wish I hadn’t invested so much of myself into us, as far as I was concerned you were the person meant for me. I miss you and I still love you but you don’t deserve it, don’t expect anything from me ever again. I hate that the last time I saw you I was such a mess, you were so cold and unfeeling. You mislead me, you made me dream about our future, I’ve never done that with anyone else but I will do it again with someone better for me. I just don’t think you understand. I don’t want an explanation or an answer to any of this. It’s over and I have accepted that. Goodbye.