Girls learning to defend themselves?

[Sharp Lex]

You always hear that many women and girls are very worried about being attacked or abused (although the actual risk of something happening I think is pretty small). So I'm wondering why there are so few girls who learn martial arts and self defence.

 

My girlfriend has been doing jujitsu since she was 8, she's 22 now, and she is a black belt. She let me try to wrestle her once and frankly, she kicked my ass big time. I got about a dozen chances to wrestle her down but she had me tapping every time. And I am a pretty fit and strong guy (181 cm and 78 kg) and she is just 172 cm and 62 kg. I did NOT go easy on her. And my girlfriend doesn't look buff or muscular or anything - it's just that she has all these skills and techniques.

 

Judging mostly by my girlfriend, I think martial arts training generally seems to help girls more than guys, but yet there are so few girls into it. Why?

[DN]

i think it is a good idea for anyone to learn basic self-defence. But there is a danger there too and that is over-confidence. The problem is that no matter how 'real' training can be it isn't the real thing and the vast majority of people, including martial arts instructors, have never been in a really vicious fight with someone who doesn't care if they maim or kill you or how much they hurt you.

 

The best defence is to not get into dangerous situations carelessly, to run fast rather than fight if possible and to shout 'fire' as loudly as you can. If forced to fight hit hard - eyes, throat, scrotum etc. but remember men will defend the groin area first. Don't try fancy tricks because learned responses can desert your brain under fear and pain. Don't stay and fight if you get a chance to escape and run. If an attacker grips your clothing ram your stiffened fingers into his armpit and push up hard - he will let go.

[yeawutever]

I will get into it as soon as I find another job and have enough money to pay. One of the reason why you might see few girl is because of lack of support from the parents. They never took it serious so there wasn't much I can do about it while I always wanted it....

[BellaDonna]

I have a relative that is a karate instructor and could have taken free lessons as a kid. I never had an interest though.

 

I think martial arts training generally seems to help girls more than guys, but yet there are so few girls into it. Why?

 

For me I didn't like how you had to perform moves in front of others, and the noises. I also don't like bowing to anyone or having to answer to an instructor, or being barefoot for that matter (those places alway smell like feet & sweat). So I had my own hang ups about it. I also refused dance lessons and other things, so it wasn't because I wanted to be "girly"

 

The closest thing I could see myself liking would be kickboxing.

 

But there is a danger there too and that is over-confidence. The problem is that no matter how 'real' training can be it isn't the real thing and the vast majority of people, including martial arts instructors, have never been in a really vicious fight with someone who doesn't care if they maim or kill you or how much they hurt you.

 

I agree.

[Lonewing]

Number one rule is to know your surroundings...far more people are assaulted by people they know or because they are in groups of unfamiliar people but otherwise "alone," than assaulted by the predator type.

 

Every police force will tell you, the best defense is the buddy system - their most valuable weapon is not their gun but rather their radio. And even seasoned warriors recognize that is someone comes up behind you with a knife or a razor, you are at their mercy until they let you go. I know a bartender who had $300 lifted off of him one night. Sure, he could have taken the dude, but the dude had him from behind with a knife at his neck - Game Over.

[Sharp Lex]

Of course it's always better to run than to fight. Fights are unpredictable and very dangerous. And if you really have to fight to save your life - fight dirty.

 

And yes it would be bad if a girl (or a guy) thought she (or he) was some kind of invincible superhero just because of the martial arts. But I don't think the risk of that happening is that big.

 

And I can't see how it could possibly be a bad thing for my girlfriend (or any girl) to be able to throw a guy like me to the ground and submit him in seconds.

 

Even if there sadly are that kind of people too, I don't think most muggers and potential rapists are prepared to maim or kill their victims. So if you put up some strong opposition, I think most would give up and try to find an easier victim. Also, girls often have the surprise element on their side, because they are not expected to be able to defend themselves effectively.

[itsallgrand]

I agree with DN.

 

And it's mostly probably due to lack of longer term interest and also encouragement to stick with that sort of activity.

Your gf was put into it at 8 - so obviously there was some parental support and encouragement going on there.

 

I have zero black belts but do have some training. I've trained for sport and I've trained in order to do certain jobs that require sometimes being in physically and otherwise dangerous situations. Won't go at length to this; suffice it to say it's a genuine interest of mine.

 

If it's one thing I've learned over and over again, what is really needed is greater education in prevention. It's amazing how many people will put themselves in dangerous situations without being aware that there is even danger, and having no plan. It's amazing how many people are overconfident in their abilities to navigate a situation - even if there is zero reason for them to believe that.

 

I could speak on this topic at length. But bottom line: I'm not convinced that putting more girls and women in classes aimed at teaching martial arts and self defense will actually help them in the long run at preventing and protecting themselves in dangerous situations. It may be a small part in it, but a very small part in the equation.

[Lonewing]

If anything, it will encouraget hem to put themselves in ever more dangerous positions because if anything bad happenes, they think they can defend themselves. All it takes is one guy who understands that a 2x4 or a pipe is the great equilizer against any unarmed person, or a gun and the simple order to do as told.

[bertdru]

I am a big supporter of this. If guys can learn to defend themselves, why not women?? They have greater need for it and I am absolutely amazed that most women don't want to learn it.

 

As for people saying it promotes over confidence - did Bruce lee have overconfidence? Nobody could attack Bruce lee while he was alive Of course he was killed but not through combat. I think if you are an expert in martial arts, you can be safe.

[waveseer]

Training does not guarantee safety. Training helps you plan your escape, even if it comes down to basic survival. Knowing how to defend yourself is as important as knowing when to defend yourself. The greatest self-defense skill is learned by practicing awareness to avoid confrontation. There is much value in learning to focus your energy in all things which includes self-defense. Anyone can benefit, young or old, male or female. All it takes is a little encouragement.

[DN]

Did Bruce Lee ever get attacked by two or three people at once who had guns or knives. Did he get whacked upside the head with a pipe or a piece of wood before he knew anyone was near him? Did he weigh half or a third of his attacker? How many fights had he been in before this happened?

 

Too often people see all this stuff on TV and movies, or in controlled environments and think that is what it is like in real life. It isn't. It's terrifying, painful beyond belief, and training has not properly prepared for anything remotely like this.

 

One powerful punch can knockout a trained professional heavyweight boxer. And he is prepared for it.

[Lonewing]

Did Bruce Lee ever get attacked by two or three people at once who had guns or knives. Did he get whacked upside the head with a pipe or a piece of wood before he knew anyone was near him? Did he weigh half or a third of his attacker? How many fights had he been in before this happened?

 

Too often people see all this stuff on TV and movies, or in controlled environments and think that is what it is like in real life. It isn't. It's terrifying, painful beyond belief, and training has not properly prepared for anything remotely like this.

 

One powerful punch can knockout a trained professional heavyweight boxer. And he is prepared for it.

 

And how many times did the guys shooting at Jackie Chan wish they were using REAL bullets and not sitting ducks?

 

It's fun seeing all the outtakes at the end of Chan movies because you see just how controlled the environment is - the attackers WANT to appear like they are getting their rears kicked - it's what they're being paid to do!

[Dejected]

Too many women are concerned over getting hurt, not realizing that getting hurt in a controlled environment is far better than getting hurt in the streets.

 

I am taking a no-nonsense self defense course that is really effective and is used by the military and law enforcement. In it, we are trained to train our instinctive reaction. So far I am amazed at how no experience is necessary before you retain every movement you learn.

 

I have tried getting some female friends to do it and their excuse is usually "I am not strong enough" and "I don't want to get hurt."

 

I know my family was always against me taking such a course growing up because they thought I'd be hurt and because "girls shouldn't do such things."

[wildchild1]

Did Bruce Lee ever get attacked by two or three people at once who had guns or knives. Did he get whacked upside the head with a pipe or a piece of wood before he knew anyone was near him? Did he weigh half or a third of his attacker? How many fights had he been in before this happened?

 

Too often people see all this stuff on TV and movies, or in controlled environments and think that is what it is like in real life. It isn't. It's terrifying, painful beyond belief, and training has not properly prepared for anything remotely like this.

 

One powerful punch can knockout a trained professional heavyweight boxer. And he is prepared for it.

 

Yes to this!

 

I am a proffesional in the industry and can whole-heartedly attest to this. I have seen Blackbelts get floored while sparring with an "inexperienced" person in a controlled environment.

To the OP, I agree with you. Though I feel a higher emphasis should be placed on situational awareness then a perfect groin kick. I do disagree that "submitting" by willfully taking them to the ground is the best thing.

 

Dejected, I am pretty sure I know what you train in, I believe I teach it.

 

Women don't train for the reasons you listed and more. A large percentage is because they weren't allowed to as children. Yet others want to get in shape first before they start.

[dragon lady]

I think it's a great idea. When I was in high school we had a this guy come to speak to all the girls about self-defense. We were told about the eyes, nose, throat, crotch and foot stomp moves. Unfortunately, about a year later I got into a situation where I had to fight off this dude. I went for the eyes and then ran.

 

The thing keeping me from doing martial arts is the groaning, bowing and all that business like Bella Donna mentioned. I would happily take classes for just self defense though. I'm just not particularly interested in the artistic or spiritual side of things.

[BellaDonna]

The thing keeping me from doing martial arts is the groaning, bowing and all that business like Bella Donna mentioned. I would happily take classes for just self defense though. I'm just not particularly interested in the artistic or spiritual side of things.

 

Yeah, that just about sums it up. You stated it much better than I tried to.

 

Basically, I don't want to invest myself in a a martial "art" I just want to know (quickly & easily) how to physicially hurt someone.

 

I know the basics about where to hit people. For now I just carry one of these link removed I have it "ready to go" on my hand whenever I am walking to my car, or out in the city. If ever attacked I'd go straight for the face with it as hard as I possibly could.

[dragon lady]

Aww...cute kitty.

[Sharp Lex]

I know my family was always against me taking such a course growing up because they thought I'd be hurt and because "girls shouldn't do such things."

 

Yeah maybe that's part of it.

 

The argument that "a girl shouldn't learn martial arts because some guys may have guns or some guys may sneek up on her from behind and put a knife to her throat".

 

I mean just because you can't learn to defend yourself from every guy in every possible situation doesn't mean it's not worth to learn to defend yourself from many guys in many situations...

 

Sure I would have the advantage against my girlfriend if I pointed a gun towards her or if I attacked her from behind with a knife. But if we are both unarmed and I try to wrestle her down - she kills me.

[DN]

Nobody is saying that it's not a good idea to learn some form of self-defence. What I am saying is that it isn't a good idea to rely on it to get you out of situations that are best avoided in the first place if possible.

[greywolf]

For a girl to get into martial arts at that young of an age, it has to be her parents that make her go. Then it's harder when you get older because you're busy with work, school, etc. and sometimes not everyone can afford that extra ~$50 a month or have the time to go.

[greywolf]

I

The thing keeping me from doing martial arts is the groaning, bowing and all that business like Bella Donna mentioned. I would happily take classes for just self defense though. I'm just not particularly interested in the artistic or spiritual side of things.

 

You can find classes that aren't traditional like that. I take kali and we don't really do any of that stuff.

[EQD]

jiujitsu is not the same as learning weapons defense or something like what kung fu would teach. good thing about jiujits is that it deals more with leverage moves than strength.

which means its easy to break bones even when you are realistically much much much weaker than the opponent.

 

but.. i've taken kickboxing classes for a little while, but it was purely for sport and fun, not defense.

i've learned a little juijits but just for fun. i've learned how to shoot and played with USPSA.. but just for fun.

 

i dont live in fear of being attacked. but i have a fair amount of skills i can use if something did happen.

[dragon lady]

You can find classes that aren't traditional like that. I take kali and we don't really do any of that stuff.

 

I've heard there are. I just haven't come accross any around here. I might look into it when I move if I have the money and time. Although the aim is to not get into one of these situations again. I don't go out much these days, so hopefully I will never need to defend myself again.

[Sharp Lex]

What I am saying is that it isn't a good idea to rely on it to get you out of situations that are best avoided in the first place if possible.

 

With that I agree 100%.

 

Nobody is saying that it's not a good idea to learn some form of self-defence.

 

 

I think some were kind of saying that. Not you though.

[Sharp Lex]

For a girl to get into martial arts at that young of an age, it has to be her parents that make her go. Then it's harder when you get older because you're busy with work, school, etc. and sometimes not everyone can afford that extra ~$50 a month or have the time to go.

 

I'd say your basic point is of course true - but is also true for boys/men (we are busy with work, school etc too)

 

And also I wouldn't say my girlfriend's parents "made" her go - she wanted it. But sure, her parents encouraged her very much.