Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[songsiusedto]

Ex,

 

I know you're getting on with your life, and that makes me happy in some ways. In others, I still don't understand. Why did you feed me all of those lies, knowing what I had been through? I was trying to better my life for you. You swore up and down you wanted to be a better man for me, but you never acted upon those words. I hate that I feel like moving on is a betrayal. I hate that I feel like sometimes I worry you think I've betrayed you by not trying to write, when you're the one who dumped me. You broke my heart in ways that I didn't think were possible. You made me so many promises, and I still don't understand how you could be so careless with those words when they were all you had to give me. You knew the pain of abandonment you'd leave me with if you broke those promises, and you did it anyway. You weren't trying to be a better man. You were buying time. I'm logically okay, and I guess I understand. But emotionally I don't understand at all. You promised me...

[NZliving]

It's been 4 months almost to the day, and I still think about you 20 times a day!! I hate having to see you every single week with eyes that once looked at me in adoration, and now they are cold and shut off. I still miss you. I miss the little things we had, things only we knew. This last month you've been horrible, I'm just confused because I'm the father of your child, your first true love. Why treat me so badly when it was you that left a loving house and broke a family for partying and drinking?! If only you looked a little further into the future you'd see that you want this family, with a good man that adored you and treated you like a princess. I never once thought you'd behave like this towards me. Knowing what I did for you and how I protected you. I expected you to feel my pain when walking away, not amplify it to new extremes. 4 months later and whilst I'm now dating others, I still wish you'd text and ask me for another date. I guess I found out how you truly feel when you told me I was nothing but the father of your kid to you. I'll reopen that scar daily, until the time comes to let it heal. When we had our baby I told you it had to be forever, I didn't wanna do this alone. Guess you lied, but then that wouldn't be first time. And I'm confident, deep down, it won't be the last. Take care X

[JonnyD79]

Janey.

You are amazing. I miss you so much, I miss what we had.

I know I was at fault but I'm trying to fix myself to make me better in future. I just wish I'd have done this months ago.

 

You are my sun, moon and stars.

Jon

[Thisispointles]

I was right. I was ing right about my instincts about you...you're just a who used me for sex! You toyed with my emotions like it didn't matter. Who are you? What made you so horrible?! I feel sorry for you, I really do. You're ing up your life and someone will really you up someday but I hope you recover but right now I just hate you. You chased after me, literally! You stalked me for weeks to get my attention, you desperately wanted to date me, I gave you a chance but you hurt my feelings. Remember how I said I trust you, and how you said you liked me a lot and would never hurt me? How can you say such lies with a straight face you ?! So I was just your booty call and you thought I'd be ok with that huh? I am so glad I ing dumped you! So glad!!! And now after 4 weeks I find out I was right about you dating that short ugly loser; you didn't cheat on me with him, you cheated on him with me!!! And the ing loser doesn't even know that while he was giving you a shoulder to cry on I was humping your brains! You toyed with so many emotions seriously woman you will find no peace!

[Sweetpotato1]

Dear E,

after 11 years of NC you decided to message me on FB. You broke my heart, you were cheating on me and got one of your flings pregnant. I had enough and ghosted. You managed to find me and instead of an apology I receive a simple "hello!" After lurking on your profile, I noticed you are married and have 5 kids! I moved on, I don't want your breadcrumbs, and I am bloklcking your thirsty a..!

[gypsybird87]

I'm getting frustrated.

 

I'm starting to feel more and more ready to explore the possibility of being friends with you. I still have some down moments, but they aren't as far down and I rebound quicker. A lot quicker, actually. And I miss you but it's about the fun things we did together, the conversations we had about your work, or mine, or our shared hobbies. The kinds of things we would still talk about, if we were actively friends right now. I don't daydream about having sex with you. I can't remember the feel of your kiss. What I miss is simply your presence. I've never been friends with an ex. You have. You think we can do it. My ingrained habit is still to trust you and go with that... but for what it's worth, my gut agrees with you. It thinks we can be friends too. So there's that.

 

Then I come on here and it seems every thread mentions keeping NO contact *forever* , and you can't be friends with ex's, and it's not really a friendship if it was ever more. Etc etc etc etc. And I talk to a friend of mine, who immediately gives me a hard time and says being friends with you would be pointless, and only cause unnecessary drama and pain.

 

How can anyone say that you and I can or cannot be friends? How can anyone know this, except for you and me? Every relationship is different. Every breakup is different. Every person on this planet is different. And the decision about friendship between you and me is our choice alone. You've already said you're willing, many times. I'm willing too. The part I'm still debating is if it's *possible*. Not because of any hard and fast rules, or what anyone else thinks, but because this will be a brand new relationship for us, and like any new relationship, romantic, platonic or otherwise.... it may work out, and it may not. And like any relationship, there is a risk of pain.

 

I wish we could talk about it, the way we talked out absolutely everything, including our breakup conversation of 3+ hours. Calm, rational, respectful, caring. We need to decide together if our friendship is worth it. If the risk is worth it. If it has a"point", or if it's just a guarantee of drama. No one else can decide this for us. So.... I think I'm done talking about it, with anyone, until I'm ready to talk to the only other person whose opinion matters, and that's you.

 

Not now.

Not yet.

Soon.

[Bansun13]

I loved you so much. Every time we fought, I was ready to make up the next day. You, however, do not want to fight for our relationship anymore. I'm sick of being the only one who cares and thinks about us. Even though I still remember all the good memories that we had, I can never forget the bad ones too. I hope your brother's cancer will get better. I hope you can make more friends. I don't regret that you were my first love, with whom I shared all of my firsts. You will forever have a special place in my heart, but I think that it's time I let you go, and thereby let myself be freed too. The hardest decision is the one that enables me to grow. Thus, even if I feel like I'm dying inside, I will not reach out to you. I will not let myself hurt me anymore. I know you will respond to my texts, so I have to be the one to cut it off. I'm sorry for not being a better gf when we were together. I will learn from our relationship and strive to be a better partner next time. I hope you will find your own happiness. And I hope the next time we speak, we can speak to each other warmly like two old friends.

[Loveart]

Back from being out of town...wish you hadn't texted me before I left. I realize that was it and a fluke and I will probably never hear from you again. Moving on but still think about you. Annoying that a new TV show I found a character looks a lot like you I really like the show and won't stop watching it because of that. He's a bad guy too (lol). Sigh, vacation is over and now back to life and reality...

[songsiusedto]

I keep alternating between realizing my flaws and seeing why you called it quits and feeling completely abandoned by you. I know the relationship can't be recovered at this point, and it breaks my heart. You left so easily over something we could have talked out. All those promises were just words. All of those dreams will never come true. I still find it hard to cancel the big trip I planned for your birthday nearly a year in advance. $6000 down the drain, because I was so sure about us. I thought you were, too. I know I deserve better, but I'm still hurting.

[Loveart]

Doing my best to move on. Zero contact or info regarding ex. Got rid of all reminders of him. Then Sat. I go to my usual pre-gym spot for breakfast and a guy looking just like him sits across from me smiles and says good morning. Really, really weird. Luckily I had finished eating but had to leave. Not sure why this would happen when I am moving on

[JonnyD79]

£5,500, £5,500!!!!

Stop taking the piss.

[Tangerine555]

I feel so played, feel like it was all fake. The "I love you" the "I love everything about you" the "we could be perfect" you know what? It would have taken one compromise to have me with you still. The one "flaw" you saw in me you couldn't change or even meet me half way to save the relationship. I don't think you ever self reflect. That's why you jump back into online dating the same day you break up with someone. It's because you don't want to face yourself. You just think you are right, all the time, and if anyone challenges you that is wrong. So they dump you, and you just move on to the next girl without seeing the common denominator: you. Why not take a look in the mirror, and try to grow and become a better man? You are not always right. What girl hurt you so bad to make you so bitter and inflexible and full of rage when you don't get your way? I feel sorry for you, because you let a damn good one slip through your fingers.. and I deserve so much more anyway. You'll continue to be a player till your 55, bald, getting thick in the middle despite all of your expertise in "fitness" and barely able to perform without pharmaceuticals every time. Then, you'll realize maybe it's time to humble the F up and try to be a genuine, honest, sincere and caring person if you expect anyone to keep your a** around for more than a few months. I can't imagine how sad life really is underneath all of the charm, fun and jokes and whatnot for a guy who is emotionally unavailable and has at mid 40's never had a real relationship, yet claims to be an expert on the subject. Your arrogance is astounding! And no, do humanity a favor and do not become a therapist. You'd be the worlds worst therapist, I mean unless you can find a niche where people pay you to abuse and bully them... What a joke, I literally almost laughed out loud when you said that. most of all I am sad and angry with myself for falling in love with you. I'm frustrated that i still think of you all the time, while you are out meeting dozens of girls and having fun like nothing happened. You can't love. Plain and simple. You are incapable. I think the words my friends and family used to describe you were "high functioning sociopath with toxic narcissism" but you know that? I don't need to label you with a personality disorder... Colossal As***** is pretty much a perfect description. Although I have to admit those eyes that girls (including me) thought were so penetrating and engaging and gorgeous at first? Yeah, after a few months it's more like a creepy 10000 yard stare, because kindness is not behind those eyes. It calculating darkness, figuring out how to manipulate and control. I am thankful i learned what this looks like so i can be aware if i ever meet someone with this quality in the future. Thank you for sharpening my bs detector! And yeah, you were cheating on me with other women the whole time we were dating and we both know that is true. if you had nothing to hide you wouldn't have gone to such great lengths to protect your privacy and you wouldn't have gotten defensive and created so much drama when i wanted to have an adult discussion about honesty and boundaries. Psychology 101, dude! What were all those blonde hairs on your couch pillow? you think I am stupid? When you went missing when your "friend" was in town? Not texting me at night the entire time you were on vacation and making random remarks about european women and how "free" they are sexually? Duh. I am not stupid. You were totally confessing and playing mind games with me. insidious and evil and controlling. it makes me want to throw up. You are not a nice person. I feel sorry for the women that date you, but i feel even more sorry for you, who has to live with your mistakes, and be in denial while looking at yourself in the mirror every day while knowing there is a good chance you will NEVER know true love and how stunningly beautiful it is.

[carmen1131]

I use to love you, but now I just hate you. I miss who you were though. Your dysfunctional personality will ruin your rebound relationship so that will be a show, yassss

[Unscrewed]

I know you have feelings for me, and I you. But your words suggest that even if I moved to your country, you wouldn't take me back because my career keeps me too busy. How very ironic that the one who was busy and didn't have time to contact me was YOU.

So long, liar.

[Nebraskagirl14]

Gosh, it seems like I have to once again go NC after a relationship. We should have gone NC after we broke up over 6 months ago, but we didn't. You were devastated when I started dating and I still cared about your feelings so much that I did too much care taking of your heart. I never ignored your messages. I continued to make sure you knew that you were special to me. Now, you are dating someone but you don't want to tell me. It's obvious. But unlike how I handled it, you actually ignore me when you are with her... Good for you. I should have done that too. I'm mad at myself for not doing that but the truth is, I had no business being in another relationship. I didn't know it at the time but I wasn't over you. I hadn't processed "us." I thought I had. Luckily, my new dating partner wasn't in a place to be in a relationship either and so no one really got hurt when we decided to back off... Now, you are with someone else but you still don't want to give me space. If I stop talking to you, you get upset. If you think I'm with another woman, you get upset... You care a lot when you aren't with your new girlfriend and when you are with her, you're gone. I realize we did this to each other. You have, even just recently told me that you I am the only one you want to want you and that when you were recently in Hawaii, you thought about me. You recently broke NC to tell me you loved me and you were thinking about me. But you were also dating HER. Why did you do that? My guess is that she gives you company and she gives you love, but she is not me and you two are not us, and you miss us. She is not in your heart like I am and so you still need me around to give you whatever thing you have always wanted from me... And now, I am single and you are dating and it's painful that you want to keep me on the side for the emotional connection that you obviously aren't getting from her. I get it. I did it too. I wasn't emotionally connected to my new person either and so I needed you. I wanted you to be all of that for me but we can't seem to make it work... And I promise you this. You might stay with her. She might be enough to marry and live a calm, happy existence, but in a new relationship, when you are still telling your ex how much you love her and think about her and how devastated you are over the end of the relationship, that tells me that that relationship will never be enough for you because you are already looking outside of it and it only just began (a few months ago, I'm guessing). I am taking myself out of the equation. I am sad that you have something with someone else and I really don't... But I don't know if what you have is fulfilling. I would guess it's fulfilling when you are being distracted but not really fulfilling or else you wouldn't need to be connected to me. I asked you to not come home from being with her last night and send me a message like you usually do and you respected that. I haven't heard from you today and that is for the best. I will not contact you anymore. I will not be here for you to connect with when it's convenient. I am going to get you out of my immediate awareness. You will think of me every day when you are in your classroom that we have been in so many times together. You will think of me often... I can't blame you for wanting to connect with someone new but it still hurts. Some day, I will meet someone wonderful and I won't be connected to anyone else at that time. I will be free and ready to be in that relationship with an open heart. For that reason, it's best that I am single. I will be okay. I will be more than okay. This was bound to happen and the shoe has finally dropped. It hurts less every day... I wish I could be happy for you but I am not there yet...

[denoted09]

I gave you everything without ever asking for much from you and now here we are 3 years of me investing my time, money, and emotions in you...making so many sacrifices for your happiness only for you to turn and run because of a blip in the relationship.

 

I loved you, and I still love you with all my heart but you tore me apart with your flimsy reasons for wanting to break up. I fought for you, stood by your side when nothing was working out for you and none of your so-called friends were there for you. But you run at the first sign of trouble and with the audacity to say you still love me. If you really love someone, you stay and fight hard to keep them in your life. I hope you will wake up one day and realize that letting me go was the biggest mistake you ever made.

[Unscrewed]

I miss talking to you. I have dreams about you. I almost give in.

[ibecomeashade]

I'm so tired of feeling this way, I just want to move on already. I'M SICK OF PINING OVER YOU.

 

What saddens me is how easily you can NOT contact me, like it's second nature while for me, it feels suffocating.

 

Ugh, just can't wait for college to start so I can distract myself.

[Lightjocj]

I miss you so much, i tried my hardest this time around...you threw a dimond back in the ocean because you would rather look under rocks. I have so much more to ofer then you ever did. I have a completly secure life, job, stable, secure. Yet you didnt want me. You broke me, and you get to live with the fact you pushed a good person out of your life, keeping pushing the good people away and you will be left with mice and rats..im not sure ill ever forget you, your a scar that i dont think will ever go away, you cut me deep. I wish you could see how a saw you..i know ill get better and be over this, im already getting better, but i really cared, i did.

[theanongirl89]

Having a minor setback, I think. First holidays in six years without you. My birthday just passed and I felt so alone... Like never before. I pretended I was ok. In fact, I'm pretty good at pretending I'm over you. But you didn't even get in touch. Hell, probably you didn't even remember it was my birthday.

 

I wish I could be like you: get into another relationship like the previous one didn't even exist.

[ShatteredSouls]

I Miss You! Why Couldn't We Make This Work, Why Couldn't You Give Us The Chance To Make This Work? 14 Years Scott, 14 ing Years. I've Never Been So Hurt In My Life, How Could You Do This To Us!?!? I'll Always Love You! -

[Lady Dee]

I was depressed, you know? Almost killed myself because of you. I was crying every night , you destroyed me bit by bit. You didn't care , you went partying, going out with friends. I was destroyed.... You destroyed me. I can't trust anybody, anymore. I can't. Just let me be, Don't let me ruin every chance I get witb other guys. Just disappear in my life. I will never forgive you, it will always hurt having you around.

 

This summer, without you... it was he most peaceful days I had. For the 2 months without you, I had all the pieces together. I went around , explored here and there. It was so peaceful , not worrying about you. I can't anymore. Just let me go. Just disappear. I can feel the pain jist like yesterday. How you destroyed me.... I love you so much, but I can't anymore... I just can't... let you ruin me anymore... please just stay away... don't let me near you ... I can't...

[goatjazz3]

Started to compose an email to you. But have come here instead.

I still think its a waste of our marriage, yes we have problems, yes I admit to not being as emotionally loving to you.

I leant on you for money and needed you on my life.

But you won't listen, you just keep saying no.

How can this be better than being married to a man that loves you so very much.

Just confused.

....... I love you Janet. Xxxxx

[Tangerine555]

I've been having a rough couple of days. Feeling sensitive, flooded with memories of the good times. I have to keep reminding myself that despite it all, you were a total jerk. you lack empathy at your core. you cannot love.

 

Unlike you, I spent a few weeks after our short lived but intense relationship self reflecting (you should try it sometime) and being alone. Looking at myself and what i could have done differently. in terms of making it work with you, the answer is nothing. However i have learned a lot about myself throughout all of this, and for that i am thankful even though some of it is really hard. i want to avoid meeting another guy like you, so i will do as much self work as i need to to insure that

 

you are my dream come true for 2 months, that's it. i felt i had finally met my soul mate (whatever the f that means). finally it was my turn to meet the great guy all of my friends and family are telling me i deserve to meet. i started having my doubts when we returned from the weekend getaway that i took you on, and on the way home you totally insulted me in the worst way, then tried to back track but the words were out, mr 4 agreements. the damage had been done, and i never saw you in the same way. i may have, except that after the mask began to slip you just kept showing more and more of your insensitive a-hole side, tossing a few breadcrumbs while at the same time devaluing me in every which subtle and insidious way. Not noticing me, blatantly ignoring me and at the same time wondering why i dont let my guard down and act more romantic/sentimental. it's because there was so much shady as f behavior that i never felt safe with you. you never got to see that side of me. i felt it inside, but didnt feel okay expressing it because it was overshadowed by caution, and my instincts were correct.

 

so that's why its so frustrating that i miss you, that i keep thinking about you, that i feel like my heart is broken and you still have a piece of it. can i please have it back? i mean, you started dating droves of women the instant i broke up with you. i am sure you have like 10 girls in rotation by now, and maybe even an official girlfriend or two. i now know, that's how you roll, despite your efforts to project a different image of the type of guy you are to me. I figured, okay... 2 months thinking, geez i feel like i am falling in love with this guy, but he has a mean streak. then 2 more months of... is he really an a-hole? yes, yes, he is. oh wow, this guy doesn't respect me at all, i need to protect myself from all of this horrible treatment and walk away. ... followed by almost 3 weeks of deep grieving and crying every day to some days feeling ok but still a little empty/sad to bursting out in tears. i am frustrated that i let myself fall for you. frustrated that you didnt end up being the person you portrayed yourself to be in those first 2 months. I hadn't fell in love in 3 years, and i wasted it on you now i am trying to get out and meet people and date again and i am just sad. i feel empty. i am meeting really nice guys, but i dont feel the same spark as i felt with you, the naturalness, the humor, the "he gets me" feeling.. i know that was all fake and insincere anyway, but i wanted for it to be real so badly.

 

I wish i would give these guys a chance. i met a really cute french guy, and another super nice guy who showed up at dinner with a beautiful bouquet of my favorite flowers, and the other day i had coffee with a gorgeous and brilliant man who started his own company and looks like a model. What is wrong with me that i am not feeling more receptive to these guys? Do i seriously need more time to get over something that only lasted 4 months? this is ridiculous. I feel like just taking my online dating profiles down but part of me feels like thats wallowing, and i have done that enough already and you are not worth it. I don't want to lead anyone on either as i know how bad it feels to like someone who is emotionally unavailable. Part of me hopes you'll have a breakthrough, realize your mistake and want to step up and be a better man. But i know that wont happen. That's just cinderella fantasy BS that rarely happens in the real world. I honestly think there is something inherently wrong with you at the core of your being, and that you dont have the capacity for self reflection or true love. I really just want to move on and not care anymore. Time, time... I'm tired of crying and being sad over someone that's not worth any of my tears. I just have to have faith that it can and will get better. Be patient. love myself. forgive myself.

[Tangerine555]

Note to self: Focus on your friends/family, they have known me forever and they know who i am. Remember their words, they will help you to stay strong in moments of weakness, which are normal to have here and there as you heal from this.

 

Friend #1 (male)- "You are a total keeper. The only flaw in your armor I have ever noticed in the 20 years of knowing you is that you seem to want to give an inordinate amount of jack asses a chance at realizing your worth. You have many fans that know your true value, and the right guy will know it, too"

Friend #2- (female) "I just want you to find someone who treats you as well as you treat your friends"

Friend #3 (male)- "You are platinum. Don't ever forget that"

Sister- "You are a kind, generous and empathetic person. The down side of that is people with these wonderful traits are magnets for manipulative people who have sociopathic traits. I'm so proud of you for seeing the red flags so early on, telling him they are unacceptable to you, and getting the heck away from him. You might feel sad now but you will get through it and within a couple of months you'll be like what did I ever see in that guy"

Friend #4 (female, who is a bit sassy)- anonymously mail him a penis pump

I would never, ever do the 4th thing as I am not a mean person, but laughter is good medicine and that did make me laugh.