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Started to compose an email to you. But have come here instead.

I still think its a waste of our marriage, yes we have problems, yes I admit to not being as emotionally loving to you.

I leant on you for money and needed you on my life.

But you won't listen, you just keep saying no.

How can this be better than being married to a man that loves you so very much.

Just confused.

....... I love you Janet. Xxxxx

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I've been having a rough couple of days. Feeling sensitive, flooded with memories of the good times. I have to keep reminding myself that despite it all, you were a total jerk. you lack empathy at your core. you cannot love.

 

Unlike you, I spent a few weeks after our short lived but intense relationship self reflecting (you should try it sometime) and being alone. Looking at myself and what i could have done differently. in terms of making it work with you, the answer is nothing. However i have learned a lot about myself throughout all of this, and for that i am thankful even though some of it is really hard. i want to avoid meeting another guy like you, so i will do as much self work as i need to to insure that

 

you are my dream come true for 2 months, that's it. i felt i had finally met my soul mate (whatever the f that means). finally it was my turn to meet the great guy all of my friends and family are telling me i deserve to meet. i started having my doubts when we returned from the weekend getaway that i took you on, and on the way home you totally insulted me in the worst way, then tried to back track but the words were out, mr 4 agreements. the damage had been done, and i never saw you in the same way. i may have, except that after the mask began to slip you just kept showing more and more of your insensitive a-hole side, tossing a few breadcrumbs while at the same time devaluing me in every which subtle and insidious way. Not noticing me, blatantly ignoring me and at the same time wondering why i dont let my guard down and act more romantic/sentimental. it's because there was so much shady as f behavior that i never felt safe with you. you never got to see that side of me. i felt it inside, but didnt feel okay expressing it because it was overshadowed by caution, and my instincts were correct.

 

so that's why its so frustrating that i miss you, that i keep thinking about you, that i feel like my heart is broken and you still have a piece of it. can i please have it back? i mean, you started dating droves of women the instant i broke up with you. i am sure you have like 10 girls in rotation by now, and maybe even an official girlfriend or two. i now know, that's how you roll, despite your efforts to project a different image of the type of guy you are to me. I figured, okay... 2 months thinking, geez i feel like i am falling in love with this guy, but he has a mean streak. then 2 more months of... is he really an a-hole? yes, yes, he is. oh wow, this guy doesn't respect me at all, i need to protect myself from all of this horrible treatment and walk away. ... followed by almost 3 weeks of deep grieving and crying every day to some days feeling ok but still a little empty/sad to bursting out in tears. i am frustrated that i let myself fall for you. frustrated that you didnt end up being the person you portrayed yourself to be in those first 2 months. I hadn't fell in love in 3 years, and i wasted it on you now i am trying to get out and meet people and date again and i am just sad. i feel empty. i am meeting really nice guys, but i dont feel the same spark as i felt with you, the naturalness, the humor, the "he gets me" feeling.. i know that was all fake and insincere anyway, but i wanted for it to be real so badly.

 

I wish i would give these guys a chance. i met a really cute french guy, and another super nice guy who showed up at dinner with a beautiful bouquet of my favorite flowers, and the other day i had coffee with a gorgeous and brilliant man who started his own company and looks like a model. What is wrong with me that i am not feeling more receptive to these guys? Do i seriously need more time to get over something that only lasted 4 months? this is ridiculous. I feel like just taking my online dating profiles down but part of me feels like thats wallowing, and i have done that enough already and you are not worth it. I don't want to lead anyone on either as i know how bad it feels to like someone who is emotionally unavailable. Part of me hopes you'll have a breakthrough, realize your mistake and want to step up and be a better man. But i know that wont happen. That's just cinderella fantasy BS that rarely happens in the real world. I honestly think there is something inherently wrong with you at the core of your being, and that you dont have the capacity for self reflection or true love. I really just want to move on and not care anymore. Time, time... I'm tired of crying and being sad over someone that's not worth any of my tears. I just have to have faith that it can and will get better. Be patient. love myself. forgive myself.

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Note to self: Focus on your friends/family, they have known me forever and they know who i am. Remember their words, they will help you to stay strong in moments of weakness, which are normal to have here and there as you heal from this.

 

Friend #1 (male)- "You are a total keeper. The only flaw in your armor I have ever noticed in the 20 years of knowing you is that you seem to want to give an inordinate amount of jack asses a chance at realizing your worth. You have many fans that know your true value, and the right guy will know it, too"

Friend #2- (female) "I just want you to find someone who treats you as well as you treat your friends"

Friend #3 (male)- "You are platinum. Don't ever forget that"

Sister- "You are a kind, generous and empathetic person. The down side of that is people with these wonderful traits are magnets for manipulative people who have sociopathic traits. I'm so proud of you for seeing the red flags so early on, telling him they are unacceptable to you, and getting the heck away from him. You might feel sad now but you will get through it and within a couple of months you'll be like what did I ever see in that guy"

Friend #4 (female, who is a bit sassy)- anonymously mail him a penis pump

I would never, ever do the 4th thing as I am not a mean person, but laughter is good medicine and that did make me laugh.

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how could you just give up on a year and a half of us? I loved you with all I had. I wanted us to spend the rest of our lives together. I tried my best to keep you happy and I thought I was doing it. Every time there was an argument, i looked at all the good times we have had and that this minor tiff was not worth losing all those good times over. You chose to focus on the arguments instead of the good times. and here I lay in pieces trying to figure out from where should I start collecting them.

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Hi N, I hope youre well?

 

Ill be brief. You've sprung back into my mind in a bad way over the past couple of weeks and I wont contact you, Ill post here... Something I have wondered and been on my mind so long, could you answer?

 

-How did you get over things so fast?

-Did you look back on things and realise you didn't actually love me?

-Is or was there any part of you that regretted not meeting again or trying things again?

-Did I hurt you that badly over Christmas?

 

I do miss you, and regardless of the romantic side of things, I hate that we are nothing to each other now. Ive never had an ex just absolutely cut me out of their life. I feel happy and good and moving on and all of that, but some days, even now nearly a year later (jesus.... that long) it hits me out of nowhere

 

Hope youre well as always

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So guess what? I have a date tonight.

 

Met a very nice guy, and we are meeting for a first date at the new restaurant that I wanted you and I to go to. I can't figure out how I feel about all this. I don't feel excited, I don't feel nervous. I don't feel much at all except that it's been nice to have some male attention, and I'm happy I'll finally get to check out this new place, since friends have been raving about it.

 

I remember our first date. We'd been chatting online, and you said you were excited and nervous to meet me. You asked if I was nervous too. I said no, and that was the truth. This kind of thing just doesn't affect me like that. I'm going to go and be myself, and this guy will either like me or he won't. Not the end of the world either way. That was the advice I gave you, way back then. Don't be nervous, just be yourself. We're going to have a great time. And.... we did.

 

So how's it going for you now? Are you going on first dates, and are you still nervous and scared? Or maybe you've been dating one person steadily. Or maybe (*gasp*) you've found your unicorn, aka The One, and are happily riding her off into the sunset. It's possible, I suppose.... but I doubt it. I'll be glad when I get to the point that I don't care who you're dating or who you're f*cking. I'll be very, very glad.

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what have you done to me? i can't even walk outside without my anxiety going through the roof and tears welling up in my eyes at random places. two people have already told me today i don't look so good and asked me if i was alright and needed to go home. you are probably not even phased and are just going about your business. your flimsy excuses are hurting me more than your "we are better off as friends, but you will probably not give me that" line. Thank you for relinquishing year and a half of being together for an excuse. wanting to talk at least once a day to hear your voice should not be an expectation, it should be a desire. and you didn't even have that desire to talk to me. you just did it because i kept asking for it. and you find that exhausting. are you serious? i stayed with you for a year and a half because i believed in us, you decided to end it because it has "built up to this point". nice, thanks for that explanation.

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So I ended things with this guy I was seeing. He was not very nice about it. Found out he was only interested in me physically. At least I found out early on. Makes me miss you more. Days too long to count anymore. Wish you hadn't changed your mind about us. Still don't understand what happened. I wonder if you are serious with someone by now. Hurts to think about so I don't for the most part. Living life and hoping to find someone special. I've given up hope of you returning.

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So I ended things with this guy I was seeing. He was not very nice about it. Found out he was only interested in me physically. At least I found out early on. Makes me miss you more. Days too long to count anymore. Wish you hadn't changed your mind about us. Still don't understand what happened. I wonder if you are serious with someone by now. Hurts to think about so I don't for the most part. Living life and hoping to find someone special. I've given up hope of you returning.

 

Right there with you, loveart. I'm not nervous about my date tonight, but I'm worried that all I will do is compare, compare, compare.... Sigh.

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My kids think you're a douche. I wish I had the mind of my 8 year old daughter and I would've figured you out sooner... And yes, your balls are saggy, your breath stinks and the sex was crap in the last few months. I hope your next victim treats you with the disdain you deserve. You didn't deserve us.

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You would let me sleep on cold hard floor rather than talking to me???? Gee, thanks, now it's me who don't want any reconcillation whatsoever. And when I get to your country, I definitely won't tell you. What's the point? I don't believe you would/(or even could) meet me even though you said you would. Is it even a good idea to meet up? We both know we are not going back together.

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I am really missing you this morning. Every morning is so difficult for me, but today it is more difficult than usual. I want to see that good morning message from you. That made my entire day. I really want to talk to you but I can't. I have to push on. I loved you. I miss you. But you chose this whereas I wanted to work through it. I did. You will not see my broken heart or face. Nope. I miss you.

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So glad I have no idea what you are doing and who you may be with now...but I still wonder. Hope these lingering feelings fade away. Still have the nagging thought that you tried to reach me when my phone wasn't working but I am reminded by posts here everyday that if someone really wants you back they will find a way to let you know...

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My life is confusing right now. I am on the cusp of something possibly incredible, the dream job and moving to a city I love. Going to greexe as I have wanted to. But my love life is entirely screwed up and I know I needed to go through this to learn, he's everything I thought I always wanted and yet I realized through this experience without the romantic chemistry all of this means nothing. But that doesn't mean it's not important or I can't want /have those things: I don't have to choose. I met a girl while interviewing who has the job I want, stable in her career,

Living her dream and she has a man that is both attractive with the romantic chemistry and successful/motivating to her. So it is possible, I just haven't believed it. I've been a terrible gf... Non stop cheating I know I need to end it Bc I know I don't want to stop.. The worst part being I am kind of developing feelings for the other guy.. But he also has a gf and I don't think he feels the same way for me. I'm finding myself learning how to be alone again.i took the weekend to myself. To sort everything out and recover emotionally. I'm sitting here missing the other guy who is with his gf unbothered which makes sense and I know I need to pull back for a multitude of reasons .. I think I'm about to learn about myself more than I ever have and become who I am meant to be. Stop being a bad gf and find what I've been seeking all these years, but I'm scared. I'm scared about what that looks like. If I'll screw up, if I'm meant for monogamy if i can stay interested, if I'm too difficult of a person for this What is Next? I don't know but I'm ready

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I was married 32 yrs in a blink of an eye it was all gone its two months now that we're seperated and your with this women you went to hs with that is dying of bone cancer that you say you love I will never forgive you and her you tossed me away like trash ,Iam just waiting for the karma to come around and hit you in the ass

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Remember how we used to spend Sunday mornings? We'd make love, then get up and shower together. You'd bake blueberry muffins, usually in the nude, which I always found sexy and amusing. You'd brew coffee for me, even though you don't drink it yourself. We'd sit outside on the covered patio and quietly eat and talk. If it was stormy we'd snuggle under blankets and watch the rain come down. Sometimes, we'd go back to bed, and make love again.

 

This morning I slept in. I snuggled my dog. I baked blueberry muffins (though not while naked), and I'm enjoying a lovely breakfast outside, watching the squirrels and listening to the birds. I may or may not go back to bed.

 

Where are you?

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Well I am actually having a setback. Since my birthday, I think. It hurts right now, but I know it will pass too. I feel awful right now. I haven't even looked at their social media (I promise! I don't do it anymore). It just hit me like a rock that day: he didn't even remember my birthday.

 

I just feel like I won't have connection with someone again. I am truly afraid he was the love of my life, my first and my last.

 

How do I stop thinking that way? I'm still so naive... I turned 25 on 9th august, and he was my first kiss and blablabla. I feel like everyone is already in love and I'm alone in a big scary world where I can't trust people. A huge part of me tells me I won't love again.

 

I miss him these days. My best friend moved to his neighborhood and it's the worst. She's my BEST FRIEND since I was 15, I can't stop visiting her. Yesterday was her birthday and I went to her house for the first time. Her house is located SO CLOSE to his house... I was on the subway, and when it arrived to my station (his station, I used to go there SO many times... I mean, it's where he lives), I just couldn't function. I couldn't move or get up from the seat, so I just didn't get off on at the stop... I was paralized. So I had to go back and get on the subway again and this time I could get off the station. I called my friend and she picked me up, I was having a huge anxiety attack. But she calmed me (not only she's my best friend, she is a psychologist, and she calmed me very quickly. But his house it's like... VERY close to her house. I am SO afraid someday I will meet him... He will think that I'm spying on him or something. The fact is that I completely refuse to hang with my best friend in the whole world, just for him.

 

I think all this is making me feel worse. Since I was near (so so so close) to his house... It's just terrible. In fact, outside the station is where he ditched me like garbage, screamed at me and told me that I should commit suicide if that's what I wanted.

 

I feel like his old self would punch this new person right in the gut.

 

I'm not in square one, though, I still haven't cried so that's good.

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Day 12 NC and it would have been longer if you hadn't sent me that stupid, pointless email which basically said nothing and had no importance on anything at all. Honestly, I think it was a power play. It was you disrespecting my wishes...yet again, to see if you could get any response out of me. Just for kicks. lame. beyond lame. I don't want my stupid book back. I only bought it for you. Keep it. Or, shove it up your a**. Whatever. Such a player disguising himself as a man with substance, what a joke. I should have ran for the hills when I saw the red pill ghost of your past. You seriously are a covert sociopath, and you hate women. You rage against women. I feel bad for the women that date you because like me, they will be unaware of the monster that lurks beneath at first, and when it comes out things will totally suck. I've honestly wanted to warn people about you, and I have wanted to reach out to an ex to see what they think. I know you've had lots of burned bridges, and it would be cathartic closure for me to know you've done this to so many others. But I won't lower myself to do that. I already know who you are and i don't need validation. Although i feel bad for the woman you end up with I am not the smear campaign type. Live and let live, and people get together for reasons, etc... not my job to be anyone's savior, and closure is within. Within. Hot damn. It's true. it's all within us. Inner locust of control. I am learning about that and getting better at it.

 

Believe it or not after that vent, I am coming to a place of acceptance and peace. I have many things to thank you for. I learned a lot about myself from our short but intense relationship. And, I am a much stronger woman as a result which you'd probably hate because you hate strong women, LOL!. So, thank you for the lessons. Thank you. I know you aren't all bad, you are just wounded. lost and utterly broken. you've created a fortress of these ideas and stories to protect yourself and the unwavering nature of them suggests you cling to them with all you are, because you can't handle intimacy or closeness and it is a way to hide and distance. I really do hope you can get beyond that someday and grow as well. I want you to experience how great real love can be. Everyone should have that. We all deserve it.

 

I had a coffee date this weekend with a guy who was engaging, smart, gorgeous, affectionate and the sparks were flying. Finally. I'm going to take it super slow and get to know him, but it was nice to know I am getting butterflies in my tummy again!

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Im a broken person because of you, i tried, i wanted to keep trying..im doing better without you. But i still miss you so much. The word ..forever..just is hard to hear, you told me to have a good life. 😟 i still am living my life but i hope someday you may reach out..maybe ill be in a better place by then maybe not...i miss you so much...

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This first weekend without you has been nothing but struggle. I came to talk to you to sort it out, move on. and when you entered the coffee shop, you acted as if everything was alright. that gave me tremendous hope and alleviated my anxiety. we spoke for 45 minutes without even a hint that you came to end it that day. I was, throughout the 45 minutes, hopeful and feeling relaxed that ok you will scold me for a bit, I will take the beating and we will move along. but then you broke out the words that completely shattered me on the inside. I didn't fight, I didn't scream, I didn't make a scene, I didn't cry. But I was falling to pieces on the inside. Why did you end it over something so frivolous? I loved you with everything I had. You didn't fight for us one bit, and I was willing to. I was ready to. I would have.

 

I still have a tiny bit of hope that you will reach out to me and give me another chance. But I know it's a false hope. I still am in the denial phase that it cannot be over, sort of like a candle that is trying to stay lighted, but everyone knows it will eventually die. So will my hope. I know it. It pains me to know it. I loved you.

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Feeling mental chaos.. This whole weekend I was thinking about the other guy, far too much. Flash backs of us kissing.. The sex. All of it. I restrained from contact as I know that's right but I felt depressed about it tonight and genuinely feeling upset he hasn't said anything/ worried I'm catching feelings and how to handle them.dk how things are going w my man don't trust him.. He was at the beach and Mia yesterday. We barely talk and I dk what

In doing or feeling

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